


The Natural

by Chromatic_Spark



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Attempt at Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Dominant Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, Evil Snoke, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gun Violence, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Non-Sexual Slavery, Original Character(s), Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Possible Character Death, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sarcasm, Sex, Slavery, Slow Burn, Snoke Being a Dick, The Force, There I Fixed It, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 93,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24393391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chromatic_Spark/pseuds/Chromatic_Spark
Summary: I felt rather than heard the ship land. The First Order never came here let alone asking for help. Luckily for them the best engineer in the sector is available (whether she likes it or not).Unfortunately my smart mouth and smarter engineering have a bit of a ripple effect across the galaxy. Not the least catching the attention of a certain tall dark and dangerous Sith and his not so pretty master.*Reader insert - tried not to give names or full physical descriptions of main character*This starts before the start of The Force Awakens and follows the timeline of the sequel trilogy.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ship lands near our heroine's workshop. Its a bad idea to try and cheat the first order. Especially a certain black-clad force user.

I felt rather than heard the ship land. It shook the town and dust floated down from the ceiling of my workshop. I sat up from my cot, tucked in the corner, and considered trying to catch a glimpse of the newcomers. I listened carefully, sat in the dark alone for a few heartbeats.  
I sighed as I heard what I’d feared. A crash and cursing from above me. He was awake. No chance of satisfying my curiosity with him bumbling about.  
Lying back and throwing an arm over my eyes I started to count backwards in an effort to find sleep again. Luckily I was bone tired from the day before and rolling over I fell back into nothingness.

It took until nearly midday for them to appear.  
I was leaning into the engine of an old type 4 duel-pod landspeeder, fixing the starting motor (again) when I heard movement behind me. My workshop isn’t big, the landspeeder filled most of it and it was the smallest model I worked on regularly. They were likely stood just outside the big rolling door that led to the street.  
“Excuse me?” Their voice was oddly muffled and a little electronic. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.  
“Be with you in a sec. Be a dear and pass me that wrench on the trolley?” I asked, flailing an arm out of the engine, to get to the motor I practically had to climb into the damn thing and my arse was hanging out of the hatch, legs dangling in what I’m sure was a humorous way. Lucky my ugly grey overalls cover anything of interest.  
My unknown helper pressed the wrench into my hand and I pulled it in. After a moment of grunting while I tightened the bolts on the manifold I gripped the edges of the hatch and pushed myself up and out.  
“Thanks! I hate having to hoist myself in and out for different tools.” I said as I turned. To say I was surprised at being observed by three rather confused stormtroopers, resplendent in their white armour, was an understatement.  
“Uh… no problem.” The closest one said. I assumed they were my helper.  
“What can I do for you?” I wiped at my forehead with my sleeve.  
“Are you Dalanius Pax?” They asked and they stepped back in alarm when I laughed.  
“No, that’s my… boss.” I explained, the lie was easier than the truth. “He’s upstairs. I can get him if you want.” I pointed to some narrow stairs leading to a thick, windowless door above me.  
“If you could. We need some repairs done, pretty fast.” The stormtrooper looked nervous, well as nervous as someone can look with one of those big white buckets on their head.  
“No problem.” I smiled which seemed to relax them a little. “Be back in just a minute.” I wiped my hands free of grease on an old rag and headed up the steps. I could feel their eyes on me.  
I pushed at the door and stepped into the office, Dalanius (Dal to his friends, I'm not his friend), was sat behind his desk. His feet were perched on the pitted work surface, three of his hands resting on his voluminous stomach and he was snoring hugely. I kicked the table and the fat purple bastard sat up with a snort. In seconds his beady eyes focused on me with his usual expression of annoyance.  
“What!” He snapped.  
“There’s three First order troopers here to see you boss. You want to talk to them or shall I say that you’d prefer to nap?” I point my thumb at the door behind me.  
“Idiot!” He grumbled as he stood and bustled past me, slapping the back of my head as he went by.  
I gritted my teeth and once again lamented internally that I wasn’t allowed to kill him and mount his head on the front of a speeder.  
“Gentlemen!” I heard him start with his usual ‘good old boy’ act. “How can I be of service?”  
I followed him down the stairs and stood in the background while he spoke to the troopers.  
“Our ship sustained some damage and we were forced down.” Explained the trooper that had handed you the wrench. I noticed one of the others seemed to be upset, something about the set of their shoulders said it. I guessed not all of them were ‘gentlemen’ under the helmet. Dalanius could be a bit old fashioned.  
“I think I heard it last night. So you boys asked around and were sent here, no one can fix them as good as my crew.” Dalanius was laying it on thick. Our little outpost was neutral about the struggles in the great wide galaxy but I could tell the idea of getting business from the First Order was making him drool.  
“Yes sir. Do you think your crew can come and take a look now?” The trooper was oblivious to their comrades' discomfort but I could see it plainly.  
“Sure thing.” Delanius turned on his heel to look at me, still lurking by the stairs. The second he was sure they couldn’t see him his face changed from amiable to irritable. I raised my eyebrows at him and stepped forward. “Girl, you go with these fellas to inspect their ship. Come back with your assessment and I’ll quote them.”  
I nodded and held out my wrist to him. He grabbed a remote from his belt and tapped it a few times, the band on my wrist bleeping in response. I looked at the tiny screen. He’d given me two hours, generous for him.  
“You won’t be coming, Mr Pax?” The trooper I’d guessed was a woman stepped up. Her voice was resonant even through the modulator.  
Delanius spluttered a bit but agreed to come as well. I grabbed my toolbelt from the trolley and snapped it around my waist before they led us out into the cool spring air.  
Trema is a big town trapped in a small space between two mountains. We relied on the geothermal energy provided by a volcano below us. As a town on the outskirts of First Order controlled space we acted as a hub of sorts. Everyone docked here at some point. Traders, smugglers, rebels and of course the First Order themselves.  
They took us to a landing pad not far from the workshop. Hulking on the pitted tarmac was the sleekest ship I’ve ever seen. I whistled in appreciation. It was dark and imposing with two great beautiful wings currently folded on top of it. She’d seen battle, that was certain. The black armour was dented and there were burns here and there. Nothing that should have stopped it from flying though. I guessed the problem was internal. A turbine blowout maybe, or a circuit failure.  
The ship was being guarded by several more troopers as well as three great hulking figures in black. As we approached one headed aboard the ship, I guessed to fetch the commanding officer.  
Ever since we left the workshop, Dalanius had been wittering on about the glowing reputation of his team and how they were going to give them a great deal on fixing up their ship. I rolled my eyes behind him. He was of course planning to charge them through the nose, and his touted team? That would be me. Just me.  
No one else would work for him, and I didn’t exactly have a choice.  
He was droning on about replacing the hull panelling when he stopped suddenly. I had been inspecting my fingernails, worrying at a hangnail, but looked up at his sudden silence.  
Down the ramp from the ship came one of the scariest men I’ve ever seen. He was tall and dressed wholly in black. He wore a helmet but I could feel his eyes glaring at us through the silver slats across it. His cape billowed around him as he strode towards us. I glimpsed something clipped to his hip, a cylinder with various notches and vents. The air around him seemed to buzz with barely contained rage. I hadn’t been off this rock in five years but I knew who he was. I prayed that Dalanius guessed it too.  
“Sir, this is the engineer we were recommended.” The lead trooper reported after a textbook salute. Dalanius swallowed hard and I actually admired the effort he put into smiling at the figure that towered over him.  
“Can you fix my ship?” His voice was distorted by the helmet, same as the troopers, but it was deep and commanding.  
“Yessir!” Delanius began to gabble about repairs. I nudged the trooper closest to me to get their attention.  
“You should let me go take a look before he talks your CO’s ear off.” I whispered.  
They nodded and after motioning to the lead trooper she guided me around the terrifying man and up the ramp.  
I let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding and shuddered. Much as I hated him I hoped Delanius wouldn’t irritate the Officer too much.  
“Over here.” The trooper called me over to a console where several dozen red lights were flashing. The screens were cracked but from what I could see the electrics had fried through most of the ship.  
“Wow, you guys took a bad hit to the generators didn’t you?” I knelt to look under the console, pulling off a hatch and pulling at some wires to inspect. Most of them had melted.  
“Some resistance twerps ambushed us at the edge of the system.” They explained. I realised it was the trooper I suspected was a lady.  
“Well most of your power output is burnt out. It’ll take me a couple of days to rewire.” I stand up and face her. “Anything else broken I should know about now?” I smile.  
“Actually…” She seems sheepish and I quirk an eyebrow. She leads me out of the main area to a door, it wooshes open to reveal what should have been someones sleeping quarters. It had been torn to shreds, plasma burns everywhere.  
I stepped in and examined the gouges in the walls, ceiling and floor. No prizes for guessing who did this and with what.  
I spotted what I was looking for and groaned.  
“Did-” I paused to word my question as delicately as possible. “Did this happen after you landed?”  
“Yes.” Her reply came out as a squeak.  
“Just as well really, the coolant pipe has been ruptured. It’s a good thing you showed me. If I’d rewired the power and that was still leaking the whole place might have gone up in smoke.” I put my hands on my hips, surveying the wreckage. “I need to check the whole system, seal it, recheck it for any other leaks then reinitialise it before I can even think about restoring main power.” I rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands. “You’re looking at a week at the least.” I turned and she looked downcast. “Sorry.” I tried to smile at her. “I guess your boss isn't going to like that.”  
“No.” She slumped against the doorframe.  
“Want me to break the news?” I offered and she brightened. I can’t say I was looking forward to telling the dark menace outside that he was grounded but if he wanted to fly again he couldn’t decapitate me. At least that’s what I kept repeating to myself as I was led back to him.  
Delanius had lapsed into terrified silence. He, the troopers and their boss turned to me as I walked towards them. I straightened my back and relayed the issues to them as succinctly as I could.  
“A week!” The helmeted menace erupted. I managed not to retreat as he loomed over me. “That's the best you can do.”  
“Unless you want your ship to catch fire, or just stay grounded forever. Yes, that’s the best I can do.” I replied, I was proud that my voice only shook a little.  
He growled but backed up a bit, turning his back on me to confront Delanius.  
“If it’s as bad as she says, I’m afraid a week is the fastest you can hope for.” He squeaked. I’d never seen him so scared. “And… there is the matter of the cost.” Little bastard always focused on the bottom line.  
“How much?” Glaciers would be jealous of how icy he made those two words.  
“Seven days work, plus parts…” Delanus pretended to add up in his head. I rolled my eyes and tried to guess on how much of a markup from what he should have been charging was going to come out of his mouth.  
Weirdly the man in black seemed to twitch and look at me out of the corner of his eye. I could have sworn my brain felt... itchy? Like when the roof of your mouth itches. As soon as I noticed the sensation it was gone.  
“You’re looking at around 200,000 credits.” Delanius finally blurted out, with a self deprecating smile. “And thats with discounts.”  
I scoffed internally. That was more than a 200% increase.  
The hulking figure twitched again as that weird static filled my head for a fraction of a second. Suddenly it made sense. He could hear me.  
Well wasn’t that… nifty.  
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head as I tried to warn Delanius with my body language that this was not a good idea.  
“200,000 credits.” The cloaked man repeated, his voice dangerously calm.  
“Yup, that's the lowest I can go I’m afraid.” The purple man’s smile was warm and friendly. Well practised.  
“I have it on good authority that this shouldn’t cost more than 70,000.” He countered and Delanius drooped. I prayed he took the deal, it was still more than it was worth.  
“But-” He stuttered, it was like looking at a child whose favourite toy had been taken away. All those credits, slipping through his fingers.  
“I’ll allow that it’s difficult to get parts this far out. 80,000 and your ‘team’ start immediately. Do you understand?” I was impressed, he had no reason to sweeten the deal and yet he had, simply to keep Dalanius on side.  
“Uh…” He hesitated. I couldn’t believe that the bulbous idiot actually hesitated.  
“I said ‘Do you understand?’” He stooped so his helmet was in line with Delanius’ face, I could feel the influence he was pushing at him, and I wasn’t even in the firing line.  
“Yes!” He squeaked and backed up. He turned to me and coughing to regain his voice ordered me to get on with the repairs and return to the workshop at sundown. He pressed the control at his waist then turned tail and fled.  
If he hadn’t have just left me with them I would have laughed at his retreat. As it was I cleared my throat as the troopers and their commander stared holes in my face.  
“I’d better get started then.” I tried to smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship is pretty damaged but nothing she can handle. She's not the first like her to have an affinity for machines but she's the best (or so she believes).  
> Oddly enough someone seems to agree, judging by her light night visitor.

I was on my hands and knees a little while later, reaching into one of the holes blown in the floor of what (I assumed) had been tall and dark’s bedroom. With a lamp clamped in my teeth I could see that the pipe below me was about as thick around as my arm and had been sliced along the length of it for around three foot. The cut wasn’t clean, the metal melted around the edges.  
I ran a gloved finger over the mottled metal and frowned, contemplating how to fix it.  
“Okay, I’m going to need a PX259 pipe coupling and a welding kit from the workshop to start with. It looks like you’re using Alpha16 coolant. I’ll have to get some from the dealer tomorrow.” I rattled off things to the trooper assigned to watch me. He dutifully made notes on a data pad.  
“If I run back quick I can get the stuff I need from the workshop and get it on the pipe today. Might save you a half day.” I continued, pushing up to my knees.  
“Come on then.” He reached out to help me up and followed me out and down the street.  
“What’s your name?” I asked as we passed food stalls opening for the evenings trade, spices and the smell of cooking meats filling the air.  
“FN2892.” He said and I scoffed. Weird name. “What’s yours then?” he countered.  
“At the moment it’s ‘Girl’.” I chuckle. “I suppose I haven't got much room to judge.”  
“Wait. Your name is ‘Girl’?” He almost stopped walking.  
“My name is whatever Delanius wants to call me. He only calls me ‘Girl’ so…” I take a deep breath. I lifted my wrist to show the dented metal cuff that wrapped around my skin tightly.  
“You’re a slave.” He stated and I smiled.  
“Yup. Also the best engineer in the quadrant.” I tucked my hands behind my head as we walked. “But don’t say it too loudly, I don’t want to get a big head.”  
The trooper snickered unexpectedly, the voice modulator turning his voice to crackling sounds.  
We retrieved the coupling and welding kit. Delanius hid in his office while we were there and FN2892 helped me carry the stuff back. He was surprisingly strong and when I commented on it I could have sworn he got a little bashful.  
Soon I was back on my hands and knees in the officers chambers. I affixed the coupling down, pleased that I’d picked the right one first time, as usual, and began the slow process of welding it in place.  
It was hard going. Without power the ships atmosphere control was down so it was quickly broiling in the room. I pulled my overalls down off my abdomen, tying the arms at my waist. I wore a tank top under it and had to be careful not to burn my bare arms but it made it more tolerable. Sparks bounced off my face shield as I worked.  
At some point my escort was called away but I was so intent on my work I didn’t look up when I heard footsteps behind me. Assuming he’d returned to his post.  
I finished the last of the welding and turned off the torch. Sitting back on my knees I pulled off my face shield and wiped my sweating face. I stretched my arms up languidly, moaning happily at the pop my shoulders gave and arching my back.  
I realised I was giving my guard a bit of a show, inadvertently. I heard a soft intake of breath behind me and felt a little flush of mischievous joy. When I turned to make a comment my voice died in my throat.  
Staring at me from the door was the owner of the debris around me. He was gripping the doorframe hard enough I could hear the metal squealing in distress.  
“Uhh…” I hesitated, pulling my overalls back up. “Almost done with this bit sir! I’ll get you some more coolant in the morning, or you can send some troopers to get it now. FN2892 knows what kind. I’ll refill the system then check for leaks. If I work quick and there’s not too much damage I’ll be done by the end of the day tomorrow and free to work on the electrics.” My heart was in my throat, I knew I was babbling. He seemed to notice my distress and released the doorframe slowly and stepped back.  
I took my que to leave and gathered my welding kit quickly.  
“Your employer will be annoyed that you’re working so quickly. Surely he wants you to stretch things out so he can make more money?” He asked as I passed him. I stopped but didn’t turn around.  
“With all due respect sir I couldn’t give a fried Bantha’s arsehole what Delanius wants.” I replied and before he could react I bolted.  
I got back to the workshop mere seconds before my wristband began to beep. The purple bastard burst out of his office and began to rant at me immediately.  
Apparently the drop in price was my fault. When I didn’t apologise fast enough I was treated to his usual response to my ‘poor attitude’. I felt the bruises forming after each strike and when he left me curled up on the floor focusing on my breathing and counting my teeth he informed me that I had no dinner and he would be cutting the power and heat to the workshop in one hour.  
Once his stomping footsteps died away I picked myself up and limped over to the small shower room off the workshop. I stripped off my sweaty clothes and examined myself in the mirror. Delanius wasn’t the first man to beat me, he was just the first to do it with four fists.  
One of my eyes was swollen and I was covered in darkening bruises.  
I sighed and showered quickly. The water, as usual, was frigid but it helped with the growing discomfort. I pulled on a fresh tee and underwear after drying myself off then climbed into my cot, pulling the thin blanket up to my chin. I did my best to ignore my growling stomach and aching limbs. I didn’t cry. I was beyond that now.

In the morning I dressed and readied my kit, making sure I had everything I needed. Delanius emerged, blurry eyed and grumbled at me before pressing the control again for my wristband and returning to his sty upstairs with a few thinly veiled threats.  
I headed out to the ship with several coils of wire over my shoulder and a bundle of tools and diagnostic kits under my arm.  
When I arrived FN2892 came forward to greet me. For the first time he took off his helmet so I got a better look at him. He had tawny skin, sweet brown eyes and a lonely smile. He did his best to ignore the great purple and yellow bruise overy my eye.  
It seemed that the great Lord of the First Order had spent the night in a hotel as he and his knights were absent while I got to work. The troopers had gotten the coolant for me and I hooked it up to the pump to refill the system. While it worked I ended up crawling around the floors of the ship to check for cracks and fissures. Luckily there weren’t many beyond the main one that I had fixed.  
I cleared the spilled coolant and began to trace the damaged wires while my diagnostic droid checked the coolant system.  
While I worked the troopers chatted to me. It was nice to have company. I was surprised to find that almost all of them were lighthearted people. Most had been abducted as children and trained for this life but they were happy. Of course I related but I was a little jealous of their freedom.  
In the early afternoon their leader returned.  
“Status?” He barked and FN3972, the lead trooper, stepped forward.  
“Lord Ren,” I’d suspected that was his name but of course no one had introduced us. “The girl has nearly completed her repairs of the coolant system and will be ready to work on the electrics ahead of schedule.”  
Ren grunted and stormed off into the bowls of the ship without a glance in my direction. I watched him leave and noticed the troopers relax. I shook my head and reminded myself to get this job done quickly.  
The diagnostics droid beeped from the other room and I headed back to the officers quarters to check on the readout. Ren stood in the wreckage with his back to me. He’d removed his helmet and I caught a glimpse of his face. His skin was tanned and his long brown hair had a slight curl. What surprised me was the freckles. The dread lord had freckles!  
I bit the inside of my lip and coughed politely.  
“Excuse me please sir, I need to check the readout.” I said and he put his helmet back on, stepping aside.  
“Go ahead.” He said once his face was covered again.  
I entered the room and checked the droid. No leaks, ready to reinitialise. I couldn’t help but grin and mutter a little self congratulations.  
“Have you got it working?” He asked from behind me.  
“Yes, once I’ve got the power back on I can turn it on and it should work nicely. I’ll start stripping out the burnt out wires now.” I stood up and turned to leave. He was closer than I expected and when I tried to step back I stumbled. His hand shot out and grabbed my arm to steady me but he accidentally caught one of the bruises blooming under my overalls.  
I hissed and pulled away once my feet were on solid ground again.  
“Thanks.” I said and looked up at him. I could feel his eyes examining me, taking in the damage to my face and guessing at other wounds. “May I go, sir?” I lowered my eyes and he stepped aside.  
I left and headed to the main command area to start work on the wiring. Every so often I could feel a certain gaze but managed to avoid him as best I could.  
I admit I found him a little fascinating. The rumours about Kylo Ren were everywhere. They told of his power, ruthlessness and ambition. The glimpse I saw was of a man only a little older than me, only just grown out of his boyish looks. The two didn’t seem to match up.  
I sat crossed legged by the console for hours, stripping out wires and sending the odd request for tools and materials to the troopers.  
I got lost in my work and my wristband gave a warning chime. I stood and gathered my tools, the troopers assured me they’d me where I left them and I thanked them before sprinting out and back to the workshop. I tore through the door at breakneck speed only to find I had five minutes left.  
Delanius demanded a progress report and I gave it. He was angry at my progress, as Ren had said, he was unhappy I might finish before I’d thought and thus he wouldn’t be able to charge as much.  
I had however finally earned my first meal in over a day. I scoffed down the flavourless gruel like it was ambrosia and took another shower before bed. Delanius had been drinking and I could hear him snoring above me.  
I was finally starting to drift off when three loud knocks clanged around the workshop. I got up and pulled on a overall quickly to investigate. I pulled the huge rolling door aside a few inches.  
Stood in the glow from the streetlamps was the last person I’d expect. He tilted his head looking at me quizzically even through that damned black helmet of his.  
“Lord Ren, can I help you?” I shivered a little in the draft from the door. I noticed he seemed to be looking down and realised in my rush I hadn’t done the zip on my overalls up, the very top of my underwear and an inch or so of skin were on show. I zipped it up almost as high as it would go out of embarrassment.  
I pushed the door open further and he stepped inside. I stood back against the wall and he seemed oddly confused.  
“You’re not going to close it?” He asked after a moment of anxious silence.  
“Uh, Delanius cuts off the power at night. We’d be in the dark.” I explained.  
He gestured at the door and it rolled closed of its own accord. I jumped slightly, my eyes took a moment to adjust, luckily I knew this room like the back of my hand. He was only a shadow to me, the slightest glint off his helmet the only clue that he was there at all.  
“I would prefer not to be observed.” He remarked and I nodded, wondering how well he could see me. “My communicator is damaged, can you fix it?”  
“Is it short range or long range?” I asked, jumping up to grab my fine tools from the lowest drawer of the tool caddy.  
“Short.” Came his terse answer. “It’s in my helmet.”  
“Ah.” I paused, reaching for a battery powered lantern. I stood up and turned, switching on the light. It was a poor beaten up piece of kit and it cast the most dreadful shadows around the room. I didn’t believe he could be more menacing.  
“Can’t you simply wake your boss to turn on the power?” He asked as I pulled the trolley to me and began to put my tiny tools down on it in my usual arrangement.  
“He’s asleep in his rooms. I couldn’t go in there if I tried.” I say, trying to push the thought at him not to ask more questions.  
“Then turn on the power yourself.” I forced myself not to roll my eyes at him.  
“I couldn’t get near the controls.” I avoided his gaze.  
“Why?” He persisted. I wished he could just pluck the answer from my head like he did before. It would be easier than hanging to admit to something I hated.  
“Can you take off the helmet please. I can’t fix it unless I can see what the problem is.” I tried to divert the conversation.  
He reached up and unlatched it from his head. Lifting it off and handing it to me. I decided to keep my eyes down. I doubted he wanted me to look too closely at him. I thanked him and got to work looking at the tiny device inside.  
“You haven’t answered my question.” He really wasn’t going to let this go.  
I sighed as I pulled out a penlight to see more clearly into the cavernous thing. A wire had come loose. Easy fix.  
“I’m not permitted to go into his private rooms or to leave this workshop without leave.” I said plainly.  
“My men say you are a slave.” His voice was clearer without the helmet, pleasant and almost melodic.  
“They’re right.” I say. This is not my favourite subject, in daylight it was easy to ignore what I am but when asked so bluntly it made me want to stamp my feet and scream.  
“How-” He began another question but I cut him off by slamming down one of my tools a little too hard.  
“Look, you don’t want my sob story. Yes, I’m a slave. Yes, my owner beats me, though thankfully not often. Yes, I hate this. All of it. No, I can’t escape. Yes, I’ve tried.” I dared to look up at him, too angry at that moment to take in his youthful good looks. “Any other questions?”  
His brows knitted, It was clear people didn’t often dare to speak to him so bluntly. I wondered if he’d kill me for my insolence.  
“No.” He replied and I bent back to my work.  
I fixed the wire and handed him back the helmet.  
“There, try it out.” He slid it on and checked it by contacting one of the troopers. It worked as it should.  
“How much?” He said as I packed away my things. It took me a second to realise he was talking to me. I’d been ranting in my head.  
“No charge, it only took a second anyway.” I said over my shoulder.  
“Your ‘owner’ won’t like that.” He said and I huffed.  
“Couldn’t care less. You need a better comms system though. Those DX9 things are so fragile. I’m guessing it’s broken before.” I took my time putting away my tools in their right spots, nothing irritated me more than these drawers being messy.  
“What would you recommend?” He was curious now, how strange to think of the dread Lord Ren being curious. Or handsome. Though that thought was a tiny whisper at the back of my head.  
“The Sirius 8nd4’s would probably work better. Higher range, stronger network ability and you can drop the damn things off a cliff into a river and they’d still work. A bit bulky though.” I mused, touching a screwdriver to my lip while I thought. “I might be able to make them more compact but it would take a little work.”  
“Do you have any?” He seemed less imposing now, he was bowing to my knowledge and I doubt he often accepted the intellectual superiority of anyone. Hell, if I could wave my hand and shut up anyone I wanted I might just do it too.  
“No, but if you get one before I finish up your ship I’ll see what I can do. There might be a few on the market.” I gave him a smile. “No charge.”  
“Very well.” He pulled open the door and stepped out, closing it behind him.  
Not one for saying goodnight then.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She finishes the ship repairs in record time but not before impressing everyone aboard.  
> Tall, dark and dangerous realises that her life is much harder than it seems.

The next day, as promised, I found all my tools and equipment where I’d left it aboard the ship. Everything I’d requested had been delivered so I got to work fixing the systems one by one.  
I got the atmospheric vents working first and the sigh from the troopers when the air conditioning turned on was a sound I’ll remember forever. As a thank you one of them bought me a Buxson salad roll from the local vendor and I sat on the ramp to eat it for lunch.  
I noticed the troopers had set up a rudimentary firing rang to keep them busy and I watched them fire at the targets for a while as I ate. It didn’t take long before I noticed a pattern.  
Five shots would hit nearly perfectly then the next few would always miss until they stopped firing for a while.  
“Nine-two!” I called and the trooper jogged up to me. I’d noted they called each other by the last two digits of their frankly clunky designations and started doing it too.  
“Yes?” The other troopers had stopped to watch us.  
“Can I see your blaster?” I held out my hand and he passed it to me. I stood and fired at the targets. After five shots it began to jerk in my hand when I pulled the trigger.  
I turned it over in my hands then pulled a few tools out and opened the side. Nine-Two protested but it was quick to make a couple of alterations to the firing chamber. I closed it and handed it back, telling him to fire.  
He fired ten perfect shots, right on target.  
“You fixed it!” He blurted out. “Guys! She fixed it!” He shouted and they all crowded round, pushing their guns at me.  
Every single one had the same problem. After five shots the chamber got hot and one of the pins came loose. Once it was pushed back in and tightened it didn’t shake when fired anymore.  
They looked at me like I’d cast a spell or gown an extra head.  
“Phasma is going to freak out over this!” One spouted and in her excitement actually hugged me.  
“Hey! You’re welcome.” I showed them how to fix the issue and how to keep it fixed.  
Word must have spread because later in the day the very scary knights of Ren who had generally only lurked in the background came up and had me look at their weapons too.  
Turns out that the reason for the stormtroopers legendarily bad aim was a manufacturing fault with their weapons that had never been corrected.  
It struck me how much of history would have been different if someone had just fixed the problem years ago.  
Delanius dragged himself to the pad that afternoon to inspect my work. I stood back while he poked and prodded my welding and wiring. I knew he had no idea what he was looking at but needed to keep a semblance of superiority.  
Lord Ren arrived while he was looking at the console screens I’d replaced.  
“Ah! Good to see you, sir! I trust the repairs are going to your liking?” He simpered at Ren.  
“Yes, it seems that she is ahead of schedule.” Ren replied, though I could have sworn his eyes were on me.  
“Oh yes! I shall have to give her a bonus for her hard work!” Delanius beamed. I kept my face smooth and expressionless. ‘Bonus’ was generally his word for hitting me with something. I felt that itch between my ears again and averted my eyes from Ren. High handed bastard needed to stay out of my head.  
“Indeed.” He replied and Delanius went on to give my work a glowing review whilst walking out of the ship. Once he was finally out of earshot I sagged and ran my fingers through my short, roughly chopped hair.  
I considered pulling out clumps of wiring and generally breaking things. Maybe one of the thropers would be forced to shoot me. Reluctantly I got back to work.  
I didn’t see Ren again before I headed back to the workshop. I had plenty of time today and dawdled a little on the way, taking in the sights and sounds of the town.  
Delanius was on me as soon as I entered the workshop. He smacked at me with the handle of a broom and constantly berated me for working too efficiently. I just covered my head and took the hits.  
Eventually he ran out of steam and stormed upstairs. I dragged myself to the shower room and stripped to take a look at my back. It was covered with long red marks that stung terribly.  
I washed and redressed, wincing at the slightest movement. I’d have to sleep on my stomach tonight whether I liked it or not.  
I lay down tentatively and was near sleep when three loud knocks woke me again. I groaned and limped to the door, I opened it and stood aside as my cloaked visitor stalked inside.  
“Look, sir. I’m sorry but I’m in no shape to fix anything tonight.” I stepped back in the dark.  
“He beat you again?” He asked but there was no sympathy in it. I actually appreciated it, I was so tired of being pitied. I could have drowned in it by now considering the amount poured on me by others.  
“Yes and it’s made me a little slow. I need to rest if I’m going to be able to work tomorrow at all.” I explained.  
“Let me see.” His tone told me he wouldn’t take no for an answer so I turned around, rolled down my overalls and lifted the shirt underneath so he could see my back. I guessed the helmet had something that helped him see clearly in the dark. I could hear his intake of breath. Even he wasn’t immune to the network of bruises, grazes and scars that criss crossed my skin.  
I gasped as he reached out and touched my bare back. He must have taken off one of the gloves he seemed to always wear. I could feel the heat of his fingertips as he traced one of the worst marks slowly.  
That itchy static feeling filled my head again and a cooling feeling spread from where he touched me. As quickly as it began the cold receded and he removed his hand. I realised that I was no longer in such pain. Not completely healed but significantly better.  
I turned to him and gave him the biggest most sincere grin I could muster.  
“I don’t know what you just did, but thank you!” I would have hugged him but I’m not sure how he would react. As is, he seemed… smug? Bashful?  
“Can you work on the communicator now?” He said and I grabbed the lamp and turned it on, nodding profusely.  
He handed me the small device and I began working straight away. I told him he could leave it and go but he wanted to stay.  
He wondered around the workshop while I tinkered. He browsed my tools and inspected the landspeeder. I could hear him humming to himself every so often. It was such a normal, human thing to do I was surprised.  
I pulled off the housing of the tiny unit and was pleased to find my idea for scaling it down would likely work.  
“Can I grab your helmet please?” I asked and he pulled it off with significantly less ceremony than last time and handed it to me.  
It took only a few minutes to carefully extract his old communicator and replace it with the new one, covering the exposed wires neatly with a resin shield I made on the fly.  
“Will it work?” I jumped at his voice. He was leaning over my shoulder and I could feel his breath on my neck. Was he smiling at my reaction? Hard to tell out of the corner of my eye.  
“I think so.” I replied and handed it up to him.  
I watched as he put the helmet back on and muttered into the new unit. He contacted one trooper after another and then his knights.  
“Try addressing them all at once.” I said and he did it. Guessing by the muffled voices I supposed it was working.  
“It works.” He said once he’d turned off the unit. I pumped my fist in the air delightedly.  
“Another win for super brain!” I congratulated myself. If he had anything to say about my self appointed title he didn’t say it.  
I started to clear my tools.  
“This would be a useful upgrade for all of our people.” He mused.  
“Get your techs to take a look at my modifications. I’m sure they’ll work it out.” I replied as I replaced the last pair of pliers and stood up.  
“The same people who have taken literal years to notice the simple problem with our weaponry?” He grumbled. I chuckled and turned back to him, crossing my arms.  
“When you say it like that I guess they might not get it. I’ll note down what I did in detail and you can take it to them. I’ll make it really simple. Baby's first rewire.” I said and he chuckled. He really chuckled. The dread Lord Ren of the Knights of Ren actually chuckled.  
“We could use a mind like yours in The First Order.” He said, looking at me steadily.  
“Got 45 million credits to hand, have you?” I sighed, running one hand through y hair and leaning back against the tool caddy.  
“45 million?” He seemed surprised. I wished he would take off the damn helmet so I could see him properly.  
“That’s how much I’m worth, last I checked.” I smiled.  
“That…” He gestured upstairs. “Cretin, payed 45 million for you?” I laughed a little.  
“No. He rents me from my real owner for 10,000 a month.” I explain. He tilts his head and I wonder what expression is on his face. Surprise, curiosity or anger.  
He seemed to read my mind again and removed the helmet. It was nice to see his eyes, they were brown and very shapely. Full lips too. I could feel myself getting distracted.  
“Explain.” I roll my eyes at his blunt response.  
“I’m owned by the Hutt family. Wabb is the main one I’ve worked for. He’s got a good head for business, not as... Debauched as his brother was. I was sold to him as a child to pay off my father’s gambling debts, when it turned out I had a natural talent for engineering he put me to work. As my abilities grew he started to rent me out to his clients. Mostly for a day or two to fix things. Then Delanius struck a deal with him. 10,000 a month for as long as he wanted to keep me. I make him at least 30,000 a month so he’s making out like a bandit. If I’m lost, damaged to the point I can no longer work or killed,” I took a breath there, knowing I’d been ranting a little. “He has to pay Wabb 45 million.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Good deal eh?”  
“But he beats you.” He sputtered, clearly unsettled by the mathematics of my life.  
“There are rules. He can ‘discipline’ me as he sees fit but cannot damage my hands or do anything that could be considered sexual.” He blushed at my words.  
“What about that?” He pointed at my wristband.  
“Clever little thing isn’t it?” I held my arm out and turned it, it sat flush with my skin, I was so used to it that I didn’t notice it at all usually. “There's a sensor field around the workshop. If I leave… ZAP!” I clicked my fingers and Ren winced. “Enough volts through me to at least knock me cold. Hurts like hell too.”  
“But…” Ren took my arm and explored the band with his gloved hands.  
“Delanius can give me a curtain amount of time I can be outside the field. If I’m out too long…”  
“Zap?” He finished.  
“You got it.” I looked up at him and he bushed, taking his hands back. He was blushing. “So to get me you’d need to either pay a heck of a lot of money, or steal me. I’d suggest the first one, a lot less painful for me.” I smiled and he turned away to put his helmet back on.  
He headed for the door.  
“I’ll take it under advisement.” He said before leaving.  
I felt oddly sad that he’d left.

The next day was spent mostly half in half out of the bowls of the console. I’d gotten lights and even long wave communication back up but was struggling with the engines. No matter what I did they just wouldn’t respond.  
I threw down my wire snips infrustration and pulled myself out from under the panel.  
“Four-Three, I need to check the belly of this thing. I think there’s something else I didn’t notice before.” I called one of the troopers who took me outside.  
I hunkered down and scooted under the ship. There, a hole not much bigger than my head right where the main starter motor would be. I shone my little light in and breathed a sigh of relief. There wasn’t much more than superficial damage. I reached in and pushed the main cable back in, it clicked into place wonderfully.  
One problem fixed, now I had a new one. I was stuck.  
With my head and arm through the hole I couldn’t wiggle free. I tugged and pushed but couldn’t get loose. I swore and began to panic.  
“Help! Four-Three? Anyone?” I shouted and screamed, tears beginning to flow at the pain and embarrassment.  
Strong arms gripped my hips.  
“Hold still.” A muffled voice. I did as they asked and they started to pull. The metal groaned but I came free like a cork out of a bottle. My savior and I fell backwards and I landed on top of them.  
I laughed and thanked them, sitting up on my elbows. I froze, it wasn’t a trooper I was laying on top of. It was Ren. I rolled off quickly and sat up, bumping my head on the ship.  
“Thank you!” I called behind me as I scrambled away and back to the main console.  
It took ages for my blush to fade so I hid under the panels. At least I’d fixed the issue. Half an hour later and the engine hummed to life. All the systems winked on and I hauled myself out to start the diagnostics.  
“There!” I said to the troops around me. “I knew I could fix it. It’s not perfect but You’ll get home.”  
“Well done!” They congratulated me and one even slapped me on the back.  
Ren emerged from one of the hallways, flanked by his knights.  
“Yes, you have done well. Several days before schedule as well. We will leave within the hour.” He turned dramatically, his cloak billowing.  
I packed up my things and headed back to the workshop.  
Dalanius met me at the door and I tensed for a blow. Instead he was unbelievably happy.  
“100,000, Girl!” He whooped. “They just transferred 100,000 to my account. Hot food for you tonight.” He practically skipped away.  
I shook my head and turned as I heard the engines roar and watched the great black ship rise elegantly over the buildings and up into the sky.  
For a second I fancied I could feel that itchy static again before I lost sight of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interest has spread in her abilities, attracting the attention of the single most powerful being in the galaxy.  
> Though someone has issues letting her go it seems life in The First Order has its advantages.

Life returned to normal for a while after that. I returned to working on speeders and Delanius was at least happy enough to leave me alone for a time.  
It was odd to think that while many who met him would remember Ren for his brutality and temper, I would remember the softest brown eyes I’d ever seen.  
Months passed and I heard the occasional bit of news regarding the conflict between the First Order and The Resistance. I rarely paid more attention than necessary though when a First Order ship was destroyed I couldn’t help but think of the troopers that had been kind to me and thankful for my help.  
Winter came and Delanius denied to allow me an extra blanket. I huddled in my cot one night, trying to sleep despite the frozen air.  
I felt rather than heard the ship land, it was too cold to investigate so I stayed in the cocoon of minor warmth I’d created.  
Three loud knocks roused me.  
I sat up, already wearing several layers, and stumbled to the door. I opened it the most minute amount only for it to be flung open.  
In came several troopers in what looked to be a thermal version of their uniform. My frozen brain piped up to wonder if they’d let me have a spare. It shut up quickly when a man with orange hair and a very irritable expression entered the building.  
“Girl! What’s all the noise!” Delanius yelled from upstairs and I heard the crashing of him coming closer. He exploded out of his office only to halt at the sight of the First Order troops.  
“Delanius Pax. We have finished negotiations with the owner of this girl.” The man motioned to me. “We are here to take possession of her and the control pad you have.”  
“What! I still have seven months on that contract!” Delanius shouted indignantly.  
“It has been rescinded. The girl now belongs to The First Order.” The man’s words were leaden.  
“Who do you think you are!” Delanius was actually foaming at the mouth.  
“I am General Hux. If you contact Wabb of the Hutt clan you will find everything in order. She has been paid for in full and will be coming with us regardless of your input.” He looked down his nose at my, now former, owner before turning to me. “Fetch your things, girl.”  
“I- I don’t have anything.” I replied. It was true, even the clothes I wore were owned by Delanius.  
“Then come along now.” He spoke to me as you would a child despite the face we looked similar in age.  
Troopers stepped forward to flank me and escort me away. I nodded and turned to go.  
“No! That bitch is my property!” Delanius howled.  
He must have grabbed his control and pressed it because without warning my body was on fire. Electricity flooded every nerve ending and my legs gave way. My jaw locked and I couldn’t breathe as I fell forwards onto my face and twitched there.  
A distant sound, an explosion maybe, and the current halted. The troopers lifted my limp form up by my armpits. My vision was hazy but I could see Hux peering at me, as if assessing if I were with the bother. Behind him was a big purple lump, gently smoking on the floor of the workshop.  
My fried neurons didn’t make the connection between what I was seeing and the lack of Delanius’ shouting.  
My brain decided at this point that shutting down to reboot would be a good plan.  
I only got little snippets of what happened next. Being carried through the cold and then dumped on a hard surface. Some muttering nearby. Being poked and prodded. Sharp pain in my arm.  
When my eyes opened and the world swam back into focus I was confused to say the least. I was on a bed, not a cot or a bench, an actual bed. I was looking up at an immaculately white ceiling. I followed the lines of the panels above me for a while, letting my awareness spread slowly. I found myself hearing more, feeling my limbs more and realising how thirsty I was.  
“Ah, awake at last I see.” I looked away from the ceiling to the speaker, it was the orange haired officer that had come to take me away. What was his name? Lucks? Huss? “How are you feeling?” I’ve never heard anyone less concerned about another person.  
“I’m alive.” I reply, my voice cracks. His lip twitches. Was that a smile? Is that how he smiles?  
He summons the doctor who checks me over before I’m handed a set of grey clothes to wear. Grey slacks over a grey button down shirt. I sit up to change only to notice that the orange haired fellow is still looking at me. I raise my eyebrows and he coughs before turning his back while I change from the medical gown to the drab clothes.  
“Okay. I’m ready.” I say and he turns, seemingly satisfied with how I look in the odd uniform. I’m given slip on shoes and led away out of the infirmary.  
As we leave I catch sight of several people in other beds in significantly worse condition than me. Doctors and patients watch us pass with curiosity and I start to feel that knot of anxiety pull tight in my stomach.  
He leads me down long shining hallways and into a lift. I’ve never been somewhere so clean and efficient. I say so and he scoffs, commenting that there will never be a comparison to this facility. That was at least some information.  
After what felt like hours of walking we come to a wide, black door. Flanked on each side by armed guards in red. He ushers me inside, following after.  
The room felt cavernous but empty. There was only the smallest shaft of light in the centre which I guessed is where I was supposed to stand.  
“Uh… Hello?” I whimper, thoroughly unsettled, when a holographic display winks into life in front of me. I’m being towered over by one of the most malformed creatures I’ve ever seen. He sits in a great red throne, beady eyes fixed on me and what I can only interpret as a look of mild amusement on his face.  
“I see you’ve finally woken.” He says, his voice echoes around me and I feel my knees shaking. I know who this is. I bow to him as deeply as I dare.  
“Supreme Leader Snoke, it is an honour.” I say and he laughs.  
“So the slave-girl from the back end of the galaxy has some manners. Now that is a surprise.” He muses.  
“As you say, sir.” I reply. Hours spent with the protocol droids as a child taught me well.  
“Do you know where you are?” He asks, linking his fingers.  
“With The First Order, sir.” I reply, keeping my eyes on the floor. This creature could probably kill me with a thought from clear across the galaxy. That sort of power requires respect.  
“Indeed. You are inside the Starkiller base on the planet Ilum. I have, on the urging of several… interested parties, purchased you from the Hutt family.” He explained and my throat, already parched, dried up entirely.  
“Purchased me?” I gasped, protocol forgotten.  
“Yes, you now belong to me.” He peered at me, gauging my reaction. Honestly I wasn’t sure how to react. It’s not everyday you get plucked from working for an abusive, moronic little despot to working for the most powerful entity in the known universe.  
“I- I understand.” I managed to say.  
“You will start work here, I’m told you have remarkable talent with machines. You are to use that ability to work in our engineering team here. Hux will oversee your work. See that it is to the highest standard. We have spent rather a lot of resources to obtain you. Do not make me regret that decision.” With that the screen fell dark.  
I stood still for a second before Hux, that was his name, grabbed my arm and pulled me along with him.  
He spoke quickly as we walked, also a little too fast. Why was he always in a hurry? He talked about the First Order, that I needed to uphold their standards and ideals. He alluded to possible punishments should I fail, I supposed in an effort to scare me. Silly bastard. I’ve lived with the imminent possibility of being beaten to death every day for years, not really motivation anymore.  
He told me the times I needed to be awake, working, sleeping, eating. A pretty strict schedule but I’d pretty adaptable. I’d started to phase out and let his words wash over me when he dragged me in front of a small silver door with the number X5 on it.  
“This is your new designation. You are X5.” He explained.  
“Well its better than ‘girl’.” I joked, again the slight twitch. Did he even know how to smile?  
He opened the door and gestured for me to enter. A small room with a bed, a desk, a wardrobe and a little door leading to a shower room. Everything was grey or silver and it was all clean.  
“Is this mine?” I asked. Another twitch.  
“Yes, these are your rooms. In the desk is a handbook for the base and your duties. In the wardrobe are your new uniforms. I will have food sent to you and I will collect you for your first shift tomorrow at 0700 hours. Do you understand?” He stood back and brushed a non-existent speck of dirt off his uniform. He was distancing himself from me.  
“Yes, sir.” I reply and he shuts the door.  
Alone at last I turn full circle, tears pricking my eyes. I began running too and fro inspecting things.  
A bed! Blankets and a pillow and its soft!  
A desk! MY desk. Mine.  
My own shower room, I’ll bet there’s hot water. There is! And towels!  
Uniforms that aren't three week old overalls! Hey look! Pyjamas!  
The door locks! I can lock it!  
I sat on the bed, hugging a set of plain white pyjamas to my chest. I supposed to a normal person this would be austere and cramped but to me it was the height of luxury.  
I showered and changed into the pyjamas before laying on the bed to leaf through the handbook.  
For the first time since my father handed me over to the Hutt’s I had a little hope. Just a little.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day blues. At least she has company, of sorts.

I spent hours going over that handbook. So many rules and schematics, I found a pad and pencil and took notes and drew sketches to help me remember. I was lucky, some slaves are never taught to read and write but since the day I fixed that droid without even hesitating dear old Wabb invested a lot of time and energy making sure I was as educated as possible.  
I slept well. I was so used to sleeping no matter the situation that it came easy as ever. Got up, dressed according to the regulations, stuffed some of my notes into my pockets and waited for the po-faced general to arrive.  
At 0700 hours exactly the door chimed. It took me a second to work out how to unlock it and open it. I stumbled out to him and saluted.  
The corner of his mouth twitched again as he returned the gesture.  
“Good Morning, X5.” He said after he let me relax.  
“Good Morning, General Hux.” I replied and he gestures for me to follow him.  
There was no small talk as he led me to the canteen. He pointed at the lines of people in various uniforms and told me to get some breakfast and that he would collect me in half an hour.  
I selected a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of juice and managed to find a table to myself. It was overwhelming to be surrounded by so many people. A table of officers chatted behind me and in front a set of troopers without helmets laughed and joked.  
The food was good, better than I was used to, but then practically anything is better than the watery gruel I usually lived on, and I ate slowly. By the time Hux returned I’d only just finished the last gulp of juice.  
“Come on.” He ordered. I noticed that the conversations around me halted, heads bent low over food, eyes tracked elsewhere. The general was not a popular man it seemed.  
I stood and moved to put my tray away.  
“Leave it.” He snapped and I bit my lip. Definitely not a popular man. I’d thought he had a meeting or something, I’m now pretty sure he’d just eaten breakfast alone because he wasn’t welcome here.  
I did as he asked, reluctantly, and followed him as he marched quickly through the halls.  
“Um… General Hux?” I asked and he finally slowed down.  
“Yes?” He said, clearly clenching his jaw  
“Where are you taking me?” I caught up to him but he didn’t turn as he spoke.  
“To the engineering unit where you will be working.” I gathered myself to risk another question.  
“Well thank you, but…” I trailed off, losing my nerve.  
“Why am I the one escorting you?” He growled.  
“Yes, sir.” I squeaked.  
“Our gracious Supreme Leader has decreed that for today at least I will escort you around. Hell knows I have better things to do, yet here I am.” He grumbled.  
“Thank you, sir.” I replied and he grunted. Subject closed, I suppose.  
He brought me to a bustling workshop, a hundred times the size of the one I’d used with Delanius. There were dozens of workstations, people in various uniforms darting around.  
Hux got the attention of two men and a woman who approached. One whispered something to the woman who rolled her eyes. The set of Hux’s jaw, already dangerously solid, grew tighter.  
“X5, this is Lieutenant Mace, Lieutenant Karter and Captain Thrax. They are the head engineers for the base. They will get you set up with some work.” He introduced, stiffly. I saluted and kept my back straight. He turned to me then. “I will return for you at the end of your shift.”  
“Yes, sir.” I said obediently and he turned away and stalked off. The atmosphere seemed to lighten ever so slightly once he was gone.  
“‘X5’ huh? Got another name?” the woman, Lieutenant Mase, asked.  
“No, ma’am.” I replied and she shook her head with a sigh. She asked me to follow her and she brought me to a workbench near the back of the room. Next to it were crates and crates of blasters.  
“Your job is to fix all these.” She motioned to them, blonde hair sweeping over her shoulders. “You were smart enough to work out how to fix the… fault, now we need to have all of our current weapon cache upgraded.” I looked up at her, she is rather tall anyway and clicked around on high heels that were definitely not regulation wear (or smart to wear in a workshop).  
She lay a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me forward. Once I was behind the bench she was gone, click clacking across the floor like she couldn’t wait to be away from me.  
I opened drawers and opened cupboards. There were tools of course but they were all pretty worn, as was the bench. Looking around nearly everything else gleamed, even the light above me flicked a little.  
They’d given me the worst workstation with the oldest tools and the most tedious job. Was this test? Were they ‘hazing’ me? Nah.  
More than likely they were just dickheads having their petty revenge. I had made them look bad after all. Big bad First Order engineers outsmarted by a junkyard engineer with no formal training. I smiled sadly and got to work.  
It was easy stuff. Open the blaster, push the firing pin back into place and seal with heat-resistant resin. Once I got a rhythm down it was quick to do.  
Unfortunately my superiors were not done yet. Once I’d finished all the crates they’d started me with they had more brought out. Then more, and more. Until I was boxed in by crates full of blasters of all shapes and sizes.  
I asked when I could take a break and was informed I could have a break once I was done with my task. Mase seemed to enjoy saying that, as if I’d never been mistreated. In the grand scheme of things this prickly ice queen would have to work a lot harder to break me.  
So I worked through lunch. Crates on my right emptied of faulty blasters and ones of my left filled with fixed ones. I must have fixed hundreds by the time the other workers started to clear out. I’d pulled off my jacked and shed the ill-fitting gloves they’d given me by the time I noticed I was behind watched.  
Turning I noticed Hux peering over the barricade at me. There was no expression on his face at all, he was just watching me work.  
I stepped back and saluted, my fingers ached.  
“General Hux! I’m sorry, I must have lost track of time.” I said and he grunted before walking around the bench to look more closely at my work.  
“So this is what they have you doing. I was told about the fault with our weapons. How are you fixing it?” He asked, he didn't stand too close and his hands were behind his back. I picked up another blaster and put it in front of me.  
“You have to open this panel to see the problem.” I opened it and pointed at the thin chrome rod that ran a quarter of the length of the barrel. “That pin is part of the firing mechanism but after a few shots it overheats and comes out of its housing. After that it rattles around and unless you compensate for it your aim will always be off until it cools again.” I looked over my shoulder at him and he just looked interested. This close I could see bags under his eyes and he was paler than he should be, his cheekbones too sharp.  
“How do you fix it?” He asked and I turned back to the blaster.  
“You just push it back in place and lay a thin strip of thermoresist over it. Like this.” I demonstrated. “Now it should stay steady.”  
I closed the blaster and held it out to him. He weighed it in his hand and aimed around the room with it.  
“It should feel the-” I started but got cut off as he fired a single shot, hitting the light fixture above me, the one that had been flickering all day and frankly giving me a headache. I yelped and jumped as it smashed and fell down a few feet away.  
Hux turned and put the blaster back down casually before looking at me, that damn twitch in the corner of his mouth again.  
“Good work, X5.” He said and honestly I was a little shocked.  
“Thank you, sir.” I replied and stepped away from my workstation to pull on my jacket.  
He nodded and took me away from the workshop and to the canteen. I stopped him before the entrance.  
“General Hux, sir. If you don’t think the Supreme Leader will mind, I can make it from here myself. I don’t want to take up any more of your valuable time.” I rubbed the back of my neck as I spoke.  
“Very well, X5. I will check on your progress in a few days.” He turned neatly and in a quick click of his heels he was gone. I shook my head. I really couldn’t read that man.  
I ate quietly by myself, watching people come and go. It seemed that it was never empty here.  
I only took two wrong turns finding my room. It was kind of a relief when the door shut behind me. Quiet at last.  
I headed straight for the shower, peeling off the stuffy uniform as I went. I got under the blessedly strong, hot torrent of water and scrubbed every inch of me till my skin sang. Once I was as clean as I was going to get I leant my forehead against the tiles and sagged a little.  
I was angry at Lieutenant Mase, confused by General Hux and terrified of Supreme Leader Snoke. At the same time I was grateful to be free of Delanius, ecstatic about my own space, joyous about the decent food and super happy to be clean.  
All these emotions whirling around were giving me a hell of a headache. I took a deep breath as I turned off the water and dried myself off. I padded back to my bed, wrapped in a towel and rubbed my eyes hard.  
I’ve been through worse. I kept repeating that. I’ve been beaten, bitten, broken, insulted and molested. I’m still here through all that. I looked down at my bare legs and idly traced some of the scars on them.  
Each one told a sad story. Some big, some little. Some, like the jagged scar on the inside of my left wrist, were just accidents. Others, like the fine line that threaded across my throat, told of something significantly more… well… significant. Then of course there was the wristband still wrapped tightly around my wrist. I guessed that Snoke now held the remote, but where were the sensors? So much to think about.  
I lay back in nothing but the towel and, after checking my alarm was on, drifted into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X5 receives a late night visitor again. What does he need fixing now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING HERE THERE BE SMUT**

I woke to my door chiming. I sat up listlessly and peered at the clock. I still had four hours before I was due to wake up.  
I pulled the towel back around me and answered the door.  
There he was. Tall, dark and dangerous, himself. He was obviously a bit shocked to find me in nothing but a length of cloth looking thoroughly disheveled. It’s heard to say what expression was on his face because of that big black bucket he insisted on wearing but I got the idea easily enough. We stared at each other for a moment before I broke the silence.  
“Commander Ren, sir.” I saluted, keeping one hand on the towel to keep it up. “Um… Would you like to come in?” I stepped back and he slunk past me, the door shutting behind him.  
It was overwhelming to be alone with him in such a confined space. I was a bit embarrassed by the clothes I’d left around but if he noticed he said nothing. He stood with his back to me, looking over my notes from the handbook that were strewn across the desk.  
“I came to check that you were settling in.” He said, not turning.  
“Yes, sir. All a big change but I’ll acclimate quickly.” I replied, unsure of myself.  
“Wabb said you were adaptable.” He picked up one of my notes, a redrawn schematic with a few changes. “Seems he was right.”  
“Thank you, Sir.” I replied and he put down my scribbles.  
To my surprise he took off his helmet and laid it on top of the papers.  
“You’ll need to be adaptable to make it in the First Order.” He said as he turned to me. He instantly blushed and turned his eyes to the floor.  
“I will. Um…” I bit my lip. “Was there something else?”  
“Yes.” He pulled out the desk chair and sat down, leaning his elbows on his thighs and gesturing for me to sit on the bed. I did so, keeping my ankles together and towel tight around me.  
“You are aware you were bought off Wabb at a significant cost.” He said, twining his gloved fingers together and keeping his eyes on the floor.  
“Yes.” I replied and he nodded.  
“You were bought by Supreme Leader Snoke, personally. You do not belong to The First Order. But rather to him.” He twisted his hands together, I hoped he was leading to something rather than waking me in the middle of the night to tell me things I already knew.  
“He is testing you. He found out about your modifications on the blasters and my communicator. You did something to my ship as well didn’t you?”  
“I just made it so the reaction time of the engines was a little faster. That’s all.” I blushed, I hadn’t thought anyone would notice that little tweak. 0.7 of a second isn’t much faster after all.  
“He wants to see if you have any other useful ideas, to see how useful you could be.” He looked so intense I was getting scared.  
“Well, I have a few thoughts…” I began but he looked up directly into my eyes and I could feel that itchy static sweep over my mind. He saw everything.  
“They just have you repairing blasters?” He snapped, face tightening with anger. His hands tightened into fists and I could feel this aura burning around him, it was hard to breathe. I had to calm him.  
I reached out and touched his knee gently.  
“It’s okay.” I soothed. “Like you said, they’re just testing me. They want to see if I’ll lose my cool and go griping to Hux.” He glared at me and I could feel his influence flowing over my skin.  
“They don’t believe what the Supreme Leader has told them. What I have told them!” He snapped and I could feel my throat contract slightly. He was lashing out, not truly seeing me. It reminded me of a slave I one knew who had severe post traumatic stress from being forced into the fighting pits. Anger like lightning, just looking for someone or something to earth it.  
I leant closer and touched his cheek lightly, shushing him soothingly.  
“Commander, Its okay. They do believe you. They’re not like you or Snoke, they need proof that I am who they’ve been told. It’s hard to believe that a slave should have such talents.” I said as his eyes began to refocus and the feeling of his power subsided. “That’s better, breathe with me for a moment. In… Out…” I encouraged him to follow me and he did. I caught him looking at my chest rise and fall but chose to ignore it.  
“They’re just seeing if you are… as good as they’ve been told.” He repeated and I smiled.  
“Yes. Plus they’re probably a bit mad. No one likes to be outshone. Least of all by…” I trailed off, unsure how to describe myself.  
“A slave.” He finished, eyes darkening again. “They shouldn’t doubt you because of that. A slave can surprise you.” I laughed.  
“Well, yes.” I agreed. I realised I’d kept my hand on his cheek and shifted to remove it. He grabbed my hand to keep it there. There was a hunger in his eyes that was equally fascinating and a little scary. “And then… it’s good to be surprised occasionally.” I smiled.  
He reached out and touched my own face with a gloved hand. As he did so, I could feel my mind turning to static.  
“Hey, can you stop that.” I twitched. “Makes the back of my eyeballs itchy.” I joked. He looked surprised.  
“You can feel that?” His velvety brown eyes were wide in shock.  
“Yes, can’t everyone?” I had thousands of questions suddenly.  
“No.” He pulled his hand away and let mine drop. “Seems you’re even more remarkable than I thought.” He seemed oddly sad about that.  
“Thank you, Commander.” I replied and he twitched.  
“Kylo. Call me Kylo.” He said softly.  
I touched his arm, running my thumb over it in gentle circles, unwilling, for some reason, to stop touching him.  
“Kylo.” I repeated and he smiled softly.  
“I-” He began, his gaze settling on my lips. “I should go.”  
I hummed in response and he leant forward to touch his fingertips to my cheek. I shifted forward to make it easier and he dragged them down to my throat.  
“I should really go.” He repeated and I licked my lips.  
“Yes, sir.” I said, it came out in a husky whisper.  
His fingers slid round the back of my neck and pulled me slowly but firmly towards him.  
I put my hands on his thighs for balance as he pulled me and he gasped softly. My towel was slipping but I didn’t really care.  
“I should-” He began again but fell silent when I closed the gap a little myself, we looked at each other from an inch or two away before he leant in and touched his lips to mine.  
The kiss was chaste to start with, he was warm and smelled good. Of soap, leather and something unique to him. A thought skittered across my mind that I was glad I’d taken a shower.  
Slowly the kiss deepened, he pulled me to sit in his lap and coaxed my mouth open to tentatively dance his tongue with mine. I sat on one of his great thick thighs with my legs draped over the other. He held me to him with one arm and the other cupped the back of my head, fingers mingling with my badly cropped hair. I explored his chest and shoulders with my own hands, rough and calloused as they were; they seemed tiny in comparison to his.  
We stayed like that, breath mingling, hands sliding over fabric, soft moans drifting in my tiny room. That is until I couldn’t stand it any longer. I pushed up swapped my legs around to straddle his lap and wrap my arms around him, tugging at his shirt insistently.  
He obligingly tugged it free and sent his gloves with it.  
The towel fell away as I moved position and he took full advantage of my bare chest. He ran hot, rough fingers over my breasts, tugging gently at my nipples and gazing into my face with hooded eyes.  
I could feel his arousal growing between my legs and I locked eyes with him before I ground my hips down over him.  
He hissed and threw his head back, I took advantage of this position to pepper his throat with kisses before sitting up to survey my work.  
His chest was wide and dappled with soft black hairs. He was muscular without being too hard. I could see him taking in my naked form at the same time and felt myself blush from crown to toes.  
I’m pretty sure he could feel my hesitancy as he pulled me back to kiss him again. I rubbed against the tent in his trousers again and he groaned into my mouth.  
“I- I-” He stuttered as our lips parted. I shushed him guiding his hand downwards to touch me tentatively. He obviously had little experience but his intuition was good and I gasped as he explored me, riding his hand slowly.  
My hand joined his but with a different purpose. With difficulty, mostly because I was distracted, I undid his belt and trousers, pulling him free from his trousers.  
I pushed his hand away and braised myself on his shoulders, looking into his eyes as I lined up with the tip of him. He kissed me while I slowly slid downwards, impaling myself on his hardness until our hip met.  
He panted, fingers pressing into my hips with the effort not to move until I was ready. I was grateful, he wasn’t my first (nor second or third) but it had been a long time and I needed to get used to the feel of him.  
After a moment I began to ride him slowly. He threw back his head, eyes closed, soft moans coming from his full pouting lips. He helped support and guide me with his hands as I lifted and lowered myself with a gentle pace.  
“Kylo!” I gasped his name as the feeling of him crashed over me. It didn’t take long for me to reach my climax and my mewing cry as I gripped him.  
He seemed to take this as some signal to take control. He stood up for a second and lay me down on the bed with some urgency, crawling over me and entering me again. He moved with quick, hard thrusts that made my head swim. I grabbed at his back, digging into his skin and muttering a constant stream of gasps, moans and encouragements.  
I came again within moments and I grabbed at him hard enough to pierce his skin with my nails. He growled and claimed my lips again, quickening the pace until he joined me in ecstasy.  
He lay on top of me, head tucked into my shoulder, breathing hard until he regained himself. He pushed up on his hands and looked at me. I saw a great many emotions cross his face. Joy, fear and even shame.  
“I should go.” He repeated and I nodded, helping him to disentangle himself from me.  
“Kylo.” I said, sat on the edge of the bed while he dressed. “Please, don’t punish yourself for this.” He paused, facing away. “Everyone has needs.” I continued. “Even you.”  
“This shouldn’t have happened. You’re a-” He said as he pulled on his shirt.  
“A slave. Yes but not your slave. We both serve the same master, even if I don’t do so by choice.” I stood up and handed him the glove he was looking for. “If there’s a rule that says I can’t bring whoever I want to my bed then I haven’t seen it.”  
He brightened at that. It was plain he thought he’s somehow taken advantage of me. Silly boy.  
I grabbed my pyjama top and some fresh underwear, pulling them on just as he replaced his helmet.  
“What now?” He rasped through the mechanical speaker.  
“That's up to you. You can visit me to… relax… When you need it.” I smiled and I guessed he blushed under all that metal. “Or if you’d prefer this can be a one time thing and it’ll never come up.”  
“This- This can’t happen again.” He looked at me, silver bands glittering.  
“Well then, thank you, Commander, and good night.” I saluted. I must have looked a sight, stood to attention in nothing but a pyjama shirt and panties, covered in kiss marks and grazes from his stubble.  
He walked towards the door and spared me a look before opening it.  
“Goodnight, X5.” He said and disappeared.  
I sagged against the wardrobe and couldn’t help but break into fits of giggles.  
He finally learnt to say ‘goodnight’.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X5 comments on those around her, as well as meeting a certain trooper we all know and love

For the rest of the week I followed the schedule I was given. I got up, ate, worked, ate, showered, slept. Every day I fixed blaster after blaster. Once I finished the sidearms they brought me rifles to fix.  
No one mentioned the broken light, it was repaired quickly. I didn’t see, hear or feel Supreme Leader Snoke, Commander Ren or General Hux.  
No one much spoke to me and I was starting to miss Delanius, as deranged as that sounds. He might have yelled at me nearly constantly but at least he interacted.  
I listened even if people didn’t speak to me and I found out some things.  
Mase was sleeping with Captain Thrax and two high ranking troopers I hadn’t met. None knew that she wasn’t faithful.  
Lieutenant Karter was likely in a relationship with a man who had defected to the rebels.   
There were rumours about the parentage of Commander Ren. Some said he was Snokes illegitimate son, people who hadn’t seen Snoke obviously, others that he was the horrifying result of incest between Luke Sywalker and his twin General Leia Organa. Though the overriding theory was that he was an attempt to clone the famous Darth Vader.  
General Hux… people just plain didn’t like him. People in his hierarchy thought him uptight and inflexible. People not in his hierarchy thought him brash and too quick to anger. The troopers were terrified of him, almost as terrified as they were of Ren.  
You may ask what I did with all this information. Nothing, absolutely nothing.  
Mase can have sex with whoever she likes. I felt bad for Karter but there's nothing I can do about his predicament. I had to admit Hux was a bit... abrasive. Okay, he was an arse, but no more so than others I’d met on the base. As for Ren… well from I’d seen he was definitely human at least.   
On the fifth day Mase informed me I only had five crates left. I decided to skip dinner and finish that day so I could finally do something else. Though it was all too likely they’d find some other tedious task for me to do.  
One by one the other engineers left and I settled in for the evening. I hummed as I worked, rifle after rifle passing through my hands. It struck me if I’d had a mind to I could have sabotaged every one one I’d touched.   
Eight hour shifts, missing lunch and staying late make it ten hours a day. 5 crates per hour, 60 weapons per crate on average… that’s approximately 15,000 troopers who could have pulled the trigger and nothing happened. Or it could have exploded in their hands. Or fired confetti.  
It was absurd that they’d left me unsupervised. Was someone checking my work? Were they being scanned? Or were they just being handed out like nothing could be wrong?  
Food for thought there.  
I stopped to flex my fingers and realised I wasn’t alone. A young man in a grey jumpsuit with ‘Sanitation’ written across the shoulder blades was making his way around the room with a mop and dragging a cleaning cart behind him.  
I watched him work over my barricade of crates. He was muttering under his breath as he moved, something about his superior officer. I smiled at that, people are the same wherever you go.  
He rounded the corner of my crates and jumped when he saw me. He rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks darkening with an embarrassed blush.  
“Woah! Sorry! Didn’t see you there!” He said with a charming smile.   
“Am I in the way?” I say and he sputters a little.  
“No! I mean! Yes, uhhh…” I couldn’t help but laugh at his anxious display.  
“Its okay.” I stood up and moved away from my desk so he could clean. “Go ahead. I need a break anyway.”  
It was true, my back ached and my fingers were stiff. I rolled my shoulders and when my left elbow clicked I grunted in relief as it loosened up the whole arm.  
“Working too hard?” He ventured.  
“Yeah, but that’s not unusual.” I replied, leaning back against the smooth white crate behind me to watch him sweep and mop the area.  
“I’ve not seen you around before.” He ventured as he finished up.  
“It’s my first week. You got a name?” I stepped up and offered him my hand to shake. He wiped his on his overalls before taking it. His hand was rough but warm.   
“FN2187.” He said as he shook my hand once before letting go.  
“Nice to meet you. I’m X5.” He smiled at that.  
“Not met an ‘X’ before.” He put his mop back on the cart. I shrugged.   
“Not been an ‘X’ before.” I said and he chuckled. He turned to leave.  
“Alright, see you round ‘X’.” He called as he left.   
It was a little easier to finish up after that.  
When I finally threw the last rifle into its crate I nearly whooped for joy.  
I headed back to my room and fell face first onto my bed without turning on the light.  
After a while I noticed a little blue light flashing on the tiny screen next to my desk. I had a message.  
Heaving myself up I pressed the button and the screen winked into life. I had two messages in fact. I sat in the chair and hit play.  
“X5.” It was Hux. He was sat at his desk, looking terribly official. “Your first week review is tomorrow at 1600 hours at my office. Do not be late.”   
“Yeah, yeah.” I breathed as the next message played.  
There was no video with this one. Just a black screen.  
“You are to report to Supreme Leader Snoke at 0700 tomorrow.” A computerised voice said. It repeated three times before it shut off.  
I rolled my eyes and turned on the lights to head to the shower. Apparently it was a busy day tomorrow. Good idea to look my best.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impressing Snoke has... unusual results

I got lost four times on my way to Snokes audience chamber. It was lucky I’d set off early.  
I reached the doors with only two minutes to spare and the red-clad troopers opened the door without me having to ask.   
I stood in the light, hands tucked in the small of my back. My uniform was immaculate and I’d done the best with my hair. Years of cutting it with whatever I had to hand when it got too long had left it choppy and very shaggy.  
The hologram turned on and I bowed as the handbook described. Greeting him as befitted the leader of The First Order.  
“Ah, X5. I see you are settling in well.” He said as I straightened out. He was once again in his rather gaudy throne.  
“Yes, sir.” Only speak when spoken to, obey without question and always present yourself to the highest level. Those were the rules in the book.  
“I understand you have been tasked with correcting the faults with our weaponry.” He steepled his fingers as he speaks, eyes glimmering.  
“Yes, sir.” Eyes down, back straight, hands at your back.  
“How is that coming along?” He seems disinterested, like he’s checking a child’s schoolwork.  
“I completed it last night, sir.” I replied and his attention suddenly snapped into focus.  
“Really. I was told there were over 10,000 that needed attention.” His voice didn’t change cadence but there was something in his body language that had changed.  
“15,046 weapons accounted for, sir.” I recited. I’d checked the figures before I left last night.  
“By yourself?” I fancied I could feel him looking through my mind like Ren did. Could he do that from so far away? How far away was he? He could be hunched in the broom closet next door, as far as I knew.  
“Yes, sir.” He dropped his hands to his lap.  
“I was informed it would take a single person weeks if not months to complete.” He was testing me, I guessed. I knew someone had been.  
“Its a simple procedure, once you know what you are doing it takes only a few seconds to fix each one, sir.” I put as much sincerity as possible into my words.   
“That is remarkable, X5.” He leaned back slowly. I had no idea if he believed me but I supposed as it was the truth it didn’t matter.  
“Thank you, sir.” I was getting pretty tired of all the ‘sirs’.  
“Do you have any questions about your work?” He pinned me with his stare then. My thoughts from the previous evening surfaced.  
“Only one, sir. If I may?” I bowed my head respectfully.  
“You may.” I almost felt heat from his gaze but decided to continue.  
“Has anyone been checking my work, sir?” I asked and he looked confused. I almost laughed.  
“Explain.” He ordered and I took a breath.  
“I was given a task that should have taken months but because of my abilities has taken a week. In that time I, a person who is new to The First Order and has no strong loyalties here, yet-” I swallowed. “Has had her hands inside over 15,000 weapons. My question is, has my work been checked. If I made a mistake would someone have caught it?”  
“I would presume so, X5, why does it matter?” He looked as serene as ever but I was beginning to see his tells.   
“How do you know I haven’t sabotaged each and every baster, sir? I could have filled them with explosives or snapped the firing pins.” I say and those sharp eyes narrow.  
“Have you?” He asks and I nearly shiver. The room feels colder.  
“No, sir. I value my life. However my point is that I was left unsupervised for so long.” I replied and he seems thoughtful.  
“A good point. I will have someone look into it, of course your work will be checked over, X5. We can’t have you delivering shoddy work now, can we?” He looked amused.  
“No, sir.” I replied.  
“You have done… adequately thus far X5, continue on this path and I may see fit to find you better work.” He said with a slightest of smiles. It made Hux’s twitches look like open grins. “You are dismissed.”  
I bowed and left the room. In the hallways I took a deep breath to steady myself.   
Looking at the time I had just enough to grab something quick and head to my shift, that is if I didn’t get lost again.  
When I got to the workshop it looked like an upturned insect hive. There were men in black uniforms everywhere, looking over every screen and scrap of paper.  
I swallowed hard, guessing this was the result of my meeting with Snoke.  
“You!” I turned as Mase click-clacked her way over to me at high speed, her face was red and the set of her shoulders was dangerous. I saluted. “Is this your doing? We’re being accused of not checking over our work! Of sending out shoddy equipment!” She was shrill with anger and fear. Her hands were balled into fists.  
Experience with dozens of masters with short fuses told me to keep my mouth shut. I had bruises, fractures and worse when facing someone so angry.  
“Well? Speak up!” She snapped. I opened my mouth, I should have kept it shut.  
“Have you been checking?” I said and wished I could scoop the words up and ram them back into my mouth.  
“How dare you!” She nearly shrieked, I braced for a blow.  
“Ma’am, I need you to come with me.” While I was distracted one of the black-clad men had approached us and stood behind Mase. She deflated and followed him meekly, only sparing me a killing glare over her shoulder.  
“Are you X5?” A trooper I didn’t recognise approached. Their armour was shiny and they wore a black cape over one shoulder. I knew an officer when I saw one and saluted immediately.  
“Yes.” I replied, unsure who I was addressing.  
“I am Captain Phasma. You are to come with me.” She ordered.  
“Yes, ma’am.” I relied automatically and she led me away from the workshop.   
I noted that everyone seemed to move around the base at breakneck speed when leading me anywhere. I had to nearly run to keep up with her.  
“I have been told you did well this week.” She said as we travelled deeper into the base. I hadn’t had time to explore at all but could tell by the signage that we were getting to higher security areas.  
“Thank you, ma’am.” I panted.  
“You have been reassigned to research and development. You will report here every day ay 0800 hours. Do you understand?” She kept walking.  
“Yes, Ma’am.” I wondered if she’d just keep walking if I fell down.  
“Here.” She stopped and pressed a button by a wide white door. It slid open and revealed another workshop space. Same work-spaces and tools but every desk was piled high with the most advanced equipment I’d ever laid eyes on. Laser torches, flesh printers and even a plasma injection unit. I was in heaven.  
A man in a slightly dishevelled uniform bumbled up to us. He was oddly shaped. A large stomach with slim arms and legs.  
“X5, this is Captain Bazor. He is your new commanding officer.” Phasma introduced.  
“Sir!” I saluted and he offered me a crooked smile.  
“Ah, so you’re the one that has everyone so…” He waved his hands while he searched for the word. “Abuzz.” he finished with another crooked grin. “I’ll take it from here, Phasma, Thank you.”  
If she was perturbed by his dismissal she didn’t show it as she left.  
“Come on then, let me show you to your station.” He turned and lurched away. I followed him. He moved so strangely, always seeming to be on the verge of toppling over.  
He took me to a set of worktops in the middle of the room, I could feel the curiosity of those around me.   
“This is yours, X5, the details of the project we’re working on are on the computer.” He pointed at the screen set into the desk. “Take today to get acquainted with it, ask any questions you have and we’ll see about getting you involved tomorrow.”  
“Thank you, sir.” I replied and he grinned.  
“Call me ‘Baz’, X5. Everyone here does. Go on and get settled, there's a drinks dispenser in the corner there.” He ushered me to the chair and left me.  
I clicked on the screen and entered my details when prompted. The file popped up immediately and I felt a little faint.  
‘Project level 1 - Dark matter containment.’


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A run-in with Ren goes... badly

I read until my eyes felt dry and itchy. Various members of the team came up and introduced themselves. They were surprisingly friendly considering it was already widely known that I’d outed my previous team to Snoke.  
It was either an act or they were glad I’d done it. I guess I’d find out.  
Lunch was welcome, the first time in fact that I’d had a chance to grab any since my arrival. I sat with my new team and listened to them chatter about their work.  
FN2187 was sat nearby, with his friends, and he waved at me with a smile. I returned it awkwardly. I’m not used to people being nice to me without wanting anything. Its… pleasant.  
I remembered to tell Captain Bazor about my appointment and he kindly wrote down the directions to Hux’s office.  
I arrived a few minutes early so dawdled outside. This area of the base was very different, more… shine. I wondered what the officers quarters looked like. Eight times the size of mine I would imagine.  
At 1600 on the dot the door slid open and I was called inside.  
The office was huge and pretty empty. One long wall was dominated by a window showing the icy landscape of Ilum, it was the first I’d really seen of the planet and I could feel myself wanting to go and look out.  
The floor was glimmering black, the walls stark grey with only a few screens and shelves and the only furniture a huge intimidating metal desk. There was only one chair, the one behind the desk that was currently occupied by Hux.  
To my surprise behind him was Commander Ren. He stood against the wall like an unsettling statue and I could feel his eyes on me through that stupid helmet.  
Hux looked up from a datapad as I reached a respectful distance and saluted them both.  
“X5, Commander Ren will be supervising this meeting.” Hux said and I could tell he was annoyed with the intrusion. The animosity between the two of them was well-documented and I doubted Ren was here for my benefit. Snoke wanted to know what I said.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied and he nodded.  
“It seems that you’ve succeeded in impressing the Supreme Leader. I have been informed of your previous commanding officer’s indiscretions.” He was watching me carefully.  
“Sir?” I honestly didn’t know what was found.  
“There was a lot of evidence of neglect, dereliction of duty and even theft. If you hadn’t drawn attention to it then a great deal of damage may have gone unnoticed until it was too late.” His eyes met mine and I could see he was a little impressed as well.  
“Yes, sir.” The best answer to anything.  
“I will be overlooking your progress in the R&D department. You will meet with me weekly to give your status reports. Is that understood?” He lifted a datapad to examine it.  
“Yes, sir.” I relaxed. I had worried this would be at least a verbal thrashing but unbelievably I seemed to be doing well in their eyes.  
“A moment, I need to read this.” He’d gotten a message. I let my eyes rest on the floor.  
Ren was staring holes into my head.  
It wasn’t long before that static-like feeling began at the edges of my awareness. I’d asked him not to do this. I quenched my annoyance quickly with a mischievous idea.  
I began to visualise in as much detail as possible myself sitting in Hux’s lap. Running my fingers through his hair and kissing him passionately. I watched Ren from the corner of my eye. He stiffened, stepping away from the wall ever so slightly, fists clenching.  
I then visualised the words ‘I told you to stay out of my head.’ in bright flaming letters.  
It worked. I could almost hear his muscles clenching but the feeling of intrusion stopped.  
“X5,” Hux looked up, not noticing the tension between myself and Ren.  
“Sir.” I replied, snapping to attention.  
“You have done well, keep up the good work. You may go.” He dismissed me.  
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” I replied with a salute. I turned on my heel and left, quite ready to be out of there. I swallowed when I heard the heavy footsteps of someone following me.  
When the door shut behind us I barely had time to turn around when I was picked up and slammed face first against the wall.  
I let out all the air in my lungs in one quick guttural sound before I was flipped around to face a very angry Kylo Ren. Note to self: don’t taunt force users.  
Being lifted by the force is not a pleasant experience. It’s not like being physically carried or the weightlessness of space. You feel heavier, like you’re being held in a bubble of strength. I tried to move but couldn’t.  
He was stood, breathing hard, one hand raised (presumably directing his abilities) and pointed at me. I saw several troopers round the corner behind him and then back away quickly. I was on my own.  
“Something I can help with, sir.” I managed to say.  
“You’re with him?” He accused. Ah.  
“No, sir. I was just imagining it to get your attention.” I explained.  
His raised hand shifted and I could feel my throat constrict, as if invisible fingers were wrapped around it tightly.  
“How dare you!” He growled. I gasped for air.  
“How dare you read my thoughts!” I managed to squeak. If I was going to die, it wouldn’t be passively.  
He pulled me away from the wall and for the briefest of moments I was held in the air before he slammed me into the wall again. My head knocked into the durasteel panel and I saw stars. His grip on my throat tightened and my head swam.  
“What is the meaning of this!” A new voice, it seemed to come from a long way away. “Ren! Whatever you think she’s done your master will not be pleased if you kill her. She cost millions for goodness sake!”  
The hold on me wavered then disappeared. I dropped to my feet then slid down the wall, coughing and clutching at my throat. I heard his boots stomping down the hall as my eyes cleared.  
“X5.” I looked up at the speaker. Hux, of course it was, he heard the commotion and came to investigate. “Get in here. Now.” There was venom in his voice. I had just enough brainpower to know he was incredibly angry.  
I tried to stand but slipped back down. He grabbed my arm roughly and dragged me into his office. He flung me at his desk and pushed me until I was perched on the edge of it.  
“I’m sorry, sir.” I manage as he stands a few feet away regarding me. I rub at my neck, wondering if it was bruised as my brain began to swim into focus.  
“What was that about?” He asked, his voice more even but his stance still tense.  
“I-” I begin but have to pause to cough. “I underestimated the Commander's reaction to something, sir.”  
“What did you do?” He took a step forward and leaned down to inspect my neck. I guessed an out and out lie was a bad idea, but it was better it not be common knowledge I could ‘feel’ Ren’s mental incursions.  
“I heard a rumour that the Commander can hear the thoughts of those around him.” I began, Hux looked intrigued. “I could see he was staring so I… visualised something to get his attention. When he reacted, I- I- I didn’t think and made it clear I didn’t want him in my head.” I explained. Looking up, I was shocked, he was actually smiling.  
“And what, if I may ask, were you thinking of that so grabbed his attention?” He “Stabbing him in the head? Blowing up the base?”  
“I uhhh…” I sat up, blinking. I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks.  
“X5?” He raised an eyebrow. “Was it sexual?” He guessed and I lowered my head in shame, nodding. “You were imagining having… relations, with him?” He asked and I looked away.  
“Not him.” I muttered.  
“Not him.” he said, standing straight and pondering for a moment. “With me?” He asked softly.  
“-es.” I managed and readied myself for him to yell to scream or to hit me.  
“Well now. No wonder he was angry. If he’s in a room no one must exist except him.” Hux stepped away to look out the window, his back to me. I pulled myself together.  
I stood up and straightened my uniform, running a hand over my head to try and make sense of my hair.  
“I- I- meant no offence to you, sir.” I said quietly while I pulled my jacket straight.  
“Understood, X5. No offence taken. If you have fully recovered, you may go.” He said, not turning to look at me.  
I walked out to attention, ashamed of having to tell him my innermost thoughts. I resolved not to involve myself with ‘High Lord Buckethead’ again.  
Jealousy is very unsexy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She can't run from him forever.
> 
> *Warning: dubious consent*

I avoided ‘Buckethead’ for a whole three days before he turned up again.  
As before he woke me with three loud bangs on my door. I had a door buzzer but no, this idiot just has to be dramatic. It had been a long day and I was tempted to ignore him, even claim I wasn’t alone.  
I could feel his feelers buzzing inside my skull and that had me jumping up to open the door. Intrusive bastard.  
“What?” I snapped at him. I must have looked fearsome enough in my sleep-dishevelled state that I gave him pause because he took a step back.  
“Uh… May I come in, please?” He said and I suppose I was addled by his politeness. I stepped aside and he came in. I stood in the middle of the room as he sat in my desk chair again. “Please, sit.” He said but I stood resolute, arms crossed and lips tight. I didn’t want him near me. He sighed and removed his helmet. His boyish face was drawn in, what I had to guess, was remorse.  
“What do you want?” I repeated and he winced.  
“I came to say… that I’m sorry.” He looked at the floor, wringing his hands.  
“Oh?” He flinched again as I spoke. “Apologise for what? For flinging me around with your goddamned superpowers? For intruding on my mind, again? For attempting to fucking kill me?” With each accusation I grew louder.  
He stood up, shoulders set and fists clenched.  
“Yes! For all of it!” He shouted back.  
“Well you can shove your apology up your arse and shove your force powers with it!” Not my best insult I know, but it was a tense situation.  
“You ungrateful little bitch! I’ll bet you are fucking Hux, idiot whore!” He hissed and I raised my hand to slap him.   
He caught it and pushed me back against the wall, invading my space.  
“Get away from me! I’m not fucking anyone, and even if I was its none of your business!” I growled at him.   
“Whore!” He hissed, pinning my hand against the wall and pressing against me.  
“Bastard!” I replied through gritted teeth.  
His lips crashed against mine and I hate to say it but adrenaline took over. My hands were in his hair and his tongue was in my mouth faster than you can say ‘bad idea’.  
All the hesitance, the letting me take control, was gone this time around. He was forceful and very aggressive about what he wanted from me.  
He literally tore my pyjama trousers off before wrapping my legs around his waist and grinding me into the wall. I gasped into his mouth and he growled back.  
He freed his hardness from his trousers and was in me quicker than I could think. It was lucky I wanted this and I was ready for him or it would have hurt like hell.  
He thrusted against me relentlessly as I clung to him, able to do little more than dig my fingers into his back and moan into his neck as he took me.  
We climaxed almost in unison and stayed leaning against my, now slightly dented, wall for a moment before he let me stand. My legs were weak and there were fingertip bruises over my thighs and I had to sit down heavily on my bed.  
“I- I-” Ren was aghast at his own actions. “I don’t know what came over me.” He said, stepping away.  
“It’s okay. That was… something.” I smiled weakly at him which seemed to help.  
“You really, aren't sleeping with Hux, are you? Not that it’s any of my business!” He backtracked quickly. I had to laugh.  
“No, I’m not sleeping with Hux. Nor has he asked.” I said and he sat in the chair again, the blush on his cheeks fading.  
“Ah. I really am sorry I reacted like that.” He offered me a small smile.   
“You’re forgiven. This time.” I held up a finger so he was paying attention. “You so much as glance in my head on purpose again and we’re going to have problems. Do you understand?” I couldn’t believe I was threatening him. What was I going to do? Hit him with a hammer?  
“I understand.” He replied with a sweet look. He was a nice guy with a temper. Unfortunately that temper came with unbelievable destructive powers. A devil in disguise.   
“Look-” I began and he tensed. “I don’t do… relationships. I’ve tried before and it always ends badly. I literally belong to someone else and I’m pretty sure Snoke wouldn’t be pleased that you and I were together.” I tried to explain what I was thinking. His brow knitted. I patted his knee. “I won’t tell him if you don’t.” I joked.  
“So what you’re saying is?” His face was dark again, I swear his moods shifted quicker than plasma currents.  
“What I’m saying is that… if you just want to have a little fun I’m happy to come along for the ride but if you want more-” I took a breath. “Then this has to stop right here right now, and I don’t care if you kill me over it.” I braced myself for his reaction.   
He stood up and paced towards the door, giving me his back while he thought.  
“What about love?” He asked, his voice so soft I almost didn’t hear him.  
“Love is for people who have a choice. I don’t. I won’t put myself through that. Never again.” I replied. Every time someone had failed me running through my head, lending force to my words. I could feel his temptation to look in my head but he resisted.  
“What about… both times I… Won’t you…” He started over and over before I finally got the idea.  
“I won’t get pregnant, Kylo.” I said and he turned, his gorgeous eyes boring into mine. “Wabb doesn’t like it when his workers breed. I was sterilised years ago.” He looks away as if that was more aberrant than the idea of me in bed with Hux. Whatever hormone you get when you have a really good orgasm was wearing out of my system and I just felt bruised and tired. I sighed.   
“What if I want to keep… visiting.” He spoke slowly, as if thinking carefully about each word.  
“I’d like that but you can’t go throwing me around or breaking things if I show anyone else attention.” I stood to emphasise my point (although that was probably slightly undermined by my torn clothes and his marks on my skin).   
“I’ll… Try.” He replied and reached for his helmet. It flew to his hand and I shook my head at this absent minded display of power. He pulled it on and headed to the door. “Until next time, X5.”  
“Yeah, until next time.” I said as he left.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X5 gets to prove herself at last.
> 
> Note: sorry about the short previous chapter. I'm trying to keep the smut a bit self contained.

As it turned out ‘next time’ wasn’t to be for a while as Ren was sent out on a mission the very next day. I had no idea how long he’d be gone or what he was doing, and to be honest I didn’t much care.  
With time to reflect I know I shouldn’t have even let him into my room, let alone my body. He was going to get ‘feelings’ for me and it was going to go badly. I just hoped that his lightsaber wasn’t going to get involved.  
As if I don’t have enough to think about apparently Snoke was growing impatient about our department's progress. As if harnessing the power of dark energy was as easy as flicking a switch.  
We were having trouble with containment. We could grab the energy and harness it but not store it. If we tried to use the system as it was it would blow us all to kingdom come. I helped the others with their theories but one after another they turned out to be wrong.  
I was developing my own idea but I had to work on it, building a set of simulations and even a scale version to prove my theory.  
A week passed like a heartbeat. The rest of the team had given up early in the day, yet another experiment had blown up, literally, and three were in the medical suite. The others were taking some time to themselves. Baz had told me off, saying I needed time to think, I explained I thought best by doing and he left me to it.  
I was fiddling with the model I had built when I could feel someone watching me, not unusual. I felt them leaning over me to watch my hands.  
“So this is what was so important you forgot our meeting.” He spoke and I froze. Hux. I was supposed to give him my progress report today. I forgot. I was dead.  
Instead of reprimanding me he seemed enthralled by the system I’d built. He pointed at a part I’d just installed.  
“What is this?” He asked and I didn’t have the nerve to look at him.  
“It’s a thermal oscillator, sir. I used to use them to help stabilise the connectors in the speeders I serviced. It’s my own design.” I explained. I pointed at various parts of the model. “The energy is drawn in here and, by use of carefully tuned vibrations, we can condense the dark matter into phantom energy. Then harnessing the gravity, heat and pressure of the planet we can contain the energy until it’s ready to be used.”  
“I see. Will it work?” He was leaning very close over me and I could feel his breath ghosting over my shoulder as he spoke.  
“The simulations suggest it will but we won’t know till I finish this prototype and switch it on.” I explained. He stepped back and I turned. He wasn’t angry, or at least didn’t seem it.  
“I had assumed that you avoided our meeting due to Ren’s outburst last time. I’m glad to see it was simply because you were immersed in your work. I’m sure the Supreme Leader will be pleased.” He explained.   
“Thank you, sir.” I saluted.  
“I will forgive this indiscretion this time but see that you attend our meetings promptly next time.” He admonished, I nodded.  
“Yes, sir. Thank you for understanding.” I said. “I should have it working my our next meeting. That is if it doesn’t blow up in my face.” I joked. He smiled the slightest amount at that.  
“See that it doesn’t, it would be a shame for your face to be blown up.” He replied and left me with my mouth hanging open.  
Was that a joke? A compliment? Was he flirting with me?  
After that I simply couldn’t work and left it for the night.  
I was used to eating with the other R&D crew but they were all gone so I grabbed my food in the canteen, intending to eat alone.  
“X!” A call from across the cavernous space. It was FN2187, he was waving at me. Glad of a friendly face, and a distraction, I headed his way.  
The troopers with him looked a little confused and a touch perturbed as I sat down but they soon calmed as FN2187 (or ‘Eight-Seven’) explained who I was.  
It turned out no one much had liked the people I got demoted. They chatted amiably with me. They were all some variant of ‘FN’ and most of them were around the same age as eight-seven. He’d trained with a lot of them and they sang his praises. Apparently the only reason he was in sanitation and not head of a platoon was he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. When I said I could relate they laughed with me.  
None of them knew what I was. It was nice to be seen as a colleague. Even the other engineers treated me differently, knowing I was a slave. They asked me to get things and I automatically did so without thinking. I was so used to following orders I never hesitated.   
I think some of them liked it, a bit of a power trip, despite the fact I’d proven myself as capable as them.  
To these troopers I was just a rare engineer that ‘didn’t have a stick up her ass’ as Eight-seven put it.  
I slept better that night.

Another week passed and I worked every hour I was allowed to get my prototype working. Hux sent me a message to remind me of our progress meeting. I sent one back explaining that it would be easier to show him as my machine was about ready to be turned on.  
He agreed to come and see instead. I bit my lip, maybe having the leader of the base there was too much pressure.  
I fiddled and tweaked the model right up until his arrival, at which point all the other engineers gathered to watch and take notes. I took a deep breath and pushed the button.  
The inlet valve sucked in the dark matter I fed it and the oscillators began to whirr. The vibration was so minute and fine tuned you could barely tell it was there but for the slightest hum. The dark matter flowed into the great spherical chamber and swirled until it calmed and formed a gently swirling orb at its centre.  
It worked.  
It really worked.  
I almost whooped with joy. The others murmured appreciatively. Hux looked pleased. Everyone was happy except for Crayne. He’d been grumpy since I arrived. Another engineer who hated being outshone. It had been his invention that exploded a week ago.  
“Great work, X5, amazing that someone like you has cracked it. With help of course.” He was addressing Hux, whose face was so plain you’d be hard pressed to tell if he was listening. I took a breath and watched as the lanky old git circled the prototype, looking for mistakes.   
“It’s all well and good till the weapon fires of course. You have tested that part, haven't you?” He asked condescendingly. It was all I could do not to roll my eyes. Of course it fired, there were dozens of plasma burns on the safety plate nearby that proved it did.  
Before I could open my mouth to explain he reached for the controls.  
“Let's check, shall we?” He said with a smirk. He knew what button he was pressing, it was the button to turn off the oscillators, not fire.  
“Wait!” I jumped forwards to stop him but it was too late. He turned them off and the little ball of phantom energy lost containment and exploded, destroying my model and sending both of us flying back, showering us with burning debris.   
I was knocked back against a desk and sprawled on the floor. Crayne was up in seconds, yelling and cursing at me about ‘shoddy design’ and ‘incompetence’. I lost my temper and lurched to my feet to yell back.   
“Silence!” The barked order cut through our bickering.  
Hux stepped forwards, brushing dust and detritus from his uniform. He was angry, his face was flushed and his bright green eyes seemed to glow with the fury he was keeping in check.   
“I will not accept such behaviour!” He shouted at us. I stood to attention. Legs apart, arms tucked into my back, eyes forward. I was used to being reprimanded. Crayne however was not. He was full of righteousness.  
“You are quite right, sir.” He simpered. “I’m glad you see this human waste for what she is!” He pointed at me, I kept my face smooth. “I say send her back to the junk heap she was found in. Or better yet send her to Snoke, where she can scrub his floors and serve his wine, as befits an idiot girl like her!” He was grinning as he jabbed at me. My fists tightened.  
I knew if I struck out it would be the end of me but nothing would have pleased me more than jamming a torque wrench down his throat.  
“That is enough.” Hux ordered and he stopped ranting.   
“General Hux, please-” Baz began but the red-haired man held up his hand to stop him.  
“X5, you will report to my office now. I will be there in a few minutes. Go, now.” He ordered. I saluted and scurried away.   
I realised I was limping and part of the way I had to find a quiet corner to extract the shard of glass that had buried itself in my foot and let out the frustrated tears that had threatened to overcome me as I stood listening to that jealous old fool tear into me.  
I stood outside Hux’s office for what felt like an hour before he arrived. I followed him in and stood as close to attention as I could in front of him.  
“General Hux, sir! You have to know-” I began the speech I had been rehearsing while I waited but he held up a hand to stop me. He leaned against his desk and crossed his arms as he looked at me. I was trembling and must have looked awful.   
“X5, I am well aware that the explosion was not your fault. Crayne was attempting to showboat in my presence and caused it himself. He will not be an issue any longer.” He explained. That sounded ominous.  
“Sir?” I asked.  
“He has resigned his commission and is being escorted from the base.” He explained before rubbing his face with one elegant gloved hand. “You are becoming an issue to some of the senior staff here.”  
I swallowed and felt tears forming again, my lip trembling like a child's.  
“I’m sorry, sir.” I managed to say.  
“I was joking, X5.” He said and I blinked several times in quick succession, as if to restart my thoughts. I glanced at him and he did look somewhat amused. “I was merely commenting that the staff here who are incompetent or unwilling to accept change seem to fall like flies around you. You are a lightning rod for abuse from those who are simply unfit for The First Order.”  
"I'm not sure what to say about that, sir." I say, shocked at his amusement. He smiled at me again, I was struck suddenly at how much more handsome he was when he smiled. He looked younger and his bright eyes sparkled.  
“Are you bleeding?” He was looking at my foot.   
“Oh!” I stepped back, hiding the offending foot behind me. “It’s not too bad, sir.” I said quickly. “Just got caught by a little glass.”  
“Nonsense, sit down.” He grabbed me by the arm and swapped places by me so I could perch on the edge of his desk. I lifted my foot and pulled off the shoe and very stained sock.   
He sucked air in through his teeth as he looked but I knew better. I had a cut on the outside of my foot, no longer than my thumbnail, it was deep but had already clotted. It only needed a clean and maybe a bacta gel patch to help it heal.  
“See. It’s only little and it’s already closing. Nothing to worry about, sir.” I reassured him. He stooped to inspect it carefully. “I’ve had worse.” I added as he nodded at my assessment and stood up.  
He was closer than I expected as he rose to his full height. He was taller than me, though I didn’t have to strain my neck to look at his face. He had freckles! You couldn’t see them from a few steps away but this close they were visible as a dappling under his eyes.   
I looked away quickly and he stepped back. He had been examining me closely as well, I wondered what he had seen. The nick out of my left eyebrow? The three fine scars across my right cheek?  
“Very well, X5, but I recommend you have it seen too if it doesn’t seem to heal on its own.” He said calmly. He folded his arms behind him again. “As for your work, I must say I’m impressed. If you could send me the plans I will present them to the Supreme Leader at once.”  
“Really! Yes, sir!” I was excited now, there was a chance my design would actually be built and that was utterly amazing.  
I pulled on my shoe without the nasty sock and stood to attention, trying not to grin like a moron.  
“May I suggest you take the remainder of the day to recuperate.” He raised his eyebrows at me, definitely more of an order than a suggestion.   
“Yes, sir.” I saluted.  
“You are dismissed.” He stepped back to let me pass and I did my best not to limp as I left.   
I didn’t stop grinning all day after that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commendations and declarations

The R&D workshop was a little tense the next day, I guessed that Crayne’s exit was not pleasant. Baz reassured me that everything was fine and he was impressed with my work.   
I sat down and turned on my screen to find a message. It had only been sent a few minutes ago.  
It was a reply from Hux. I’d sent my work as he requested and he’d acknowledged it. I bit my lip as I opened it.   
It was a summons. To Snoke. In half an hour.   
I groaned and heaved myself out of my chair.  
I explained the situation to Baz and he pushed me out as quick as he could. Just the mention of the Supreme Leader seemed to bring him out in a panicked sweat.  
I got to the audience chamber at the same time as Hux, who should be following behind him but High Lord Buckethead himself. I cringed internally. When had he gotten back?  
I saluted and we entered the room. My superiors stood in front of me and I kept a measured distance behind as the holoscreen lit up and we greeted the sour faced Lord.  
“Supreme Leader, as requested we have here the girl, X5.” Hux gestured for me to stand in front of them and I did so, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.   
“Ah, X5. Once again you have proven yourself. I am glad to find my investment was a worthwhile one.” He croons, I keep my eyes on the floor.  
“Thank you, sir.” I reply, back straight.   
“I have looked over the plans you have made. All of our engineers agree that it is the best design we have. When can work begin, Hux?” He addressed the General over my shoulder.  
“Immediately sir, we’ll have to excavate somewhat but we should be ready to test within a few months.” Hux was quick to answer, obviously well rehearsed.  
“Do we have the supplies we need?” Snoke leaned back with a weird satisfied smile.  
“Yes, sir. As long as our supply lines remain secure.” Hux replied and I heard Ren grunt softly. A jab at him no doubt.  
“I will see to that personally.” Ren replied. I could tell, even through the mask, that his teeth were gritted.  
“See that you do.” Snoke seemed happy with his protege’s discomfort. “X5, you are to oversee the construction of the new oscillators.”  
“Me?” I squeaked, my spine turned to ice.  
“Yes. You designed them and you are best placed to overcome any issues during their installation. Hux will go over the schedule and new arrangements with you.” He radiated smugness. I could understand it. With this weapon operational he would be the most powerful being in the galaxy, bar none.   
“Th-Thank you, sir.” I managed to say. I was reeling, only a few weeks in and I was now going to be in charge of one of the most important projects the First Order had. I felt homesick for my freezing workshop and Delanius. Or maybe just sick, my breakfast was rolling around in my stomach.  
“We reward good service in the First Order, X5. Keep it up.” He steepled his fingers.   
“Yes, sir.” I replied, my brain was full of fog. That’s my only excuse for not noting the mischief in his face.  
“Oh and I have been informed of your… interactions with Commander Ren.” He said. I stopped breathing. I couldn’t respond. Couldn’t move. I could hear Ren behind me, the squeak as the leather of his gloves tightened around his fists. No doubt Hux’s face was smooth and impassive.  
“I don’t usually approve of relationships. They distract from duty, sentiment is… demanding.” Snoke went on.  
“Sir.” I managed to push the response through my lips, though it took a lot of energy to do so.  
“However as long as it does not detract from either of your duties. Feel free to continue.” He smiled grotesquely. I realised with a lurch he was leering at me. “If it were not against the conditions of your service I may have considered you as a companion myself.”  
“T-thank you, sir?” I replied, I was regretting the extra muffin I’d swiped earlier.  
“You are welcome, X5.” He chuckled. I’d give a lot never to hear that sound again, ever. “You are dismissed.”  
The screen shut off and I was left in the dark with the two men. It could be worse I suppose. It could be a Rancor. Or a horny Bantha.  
“I-” Hux started to talk but I bolted. My bad foot shrieked at me as I half ran half limped out of the audience chamber. I guess they didn’t expect me to run as I got a fair distance before I had to stop to catch my breath.  
I was panicking, I know. I hit in an alcove until my heart rate slowed down. It took a few moments before I realised I had no idea where I was. I’d just taken off, no thought at all. Stupid girl.  
There was no one around to ask and no signage. I’d just have to walk till I recognised something.   
I took a breath and started walking. The building was better here, higher end. The durasteel shone and the mouldings were nicer. It even smelled better. It took a second to realise I was walking past windows, real windows.  
I stopped and looked out at the planet beyond. Ilum isn’t exactly a resort world but it’s pretty in its own way. I remember the first time I saw snow, this was different but still sparked a memory of that odd joy. I’m not even sure what kind of planet I was born on but I don’t think it had ice or snow.  
“Enjoying the view?” Muffled, mechanical breathing and a familiar hand landing heavily on my shoulder. I didn’t want to turn around but I could see him behind me in the reflection on the glass.  
“I was.” I sighed.  
He grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the window. In a whirlwind of black cloth he manhandled me through a set of black doors before forcing me to sit down.  
I took in my surroundings. Bed, desk, sofa, big window. All much larger and nicer than my own rooms. Everything was black. Black sheets, black sofa, black walls. No guesses where I was.  
He’d pushed me down on the sofa and stood over me.   
“Hi.” I breathed.   
“Why did you run?” He growled.   
“How did Snoke know about us?” I countered and he backed off only to sit down heavily next to me and remove his helmet. It was simultaneously easier and harder to talk to him without it. What can I say, I’m a sucker for big brown eyes.  
“You didn’t answer my question.” He said, there was that tic in his jaw again.   
“I was embarrassed.” I said and he looked away. “How did he know?” I repeated. “Are there cameras in my room? Did someone see you? Was someone listening? Did you tell anyone?” I was rattling off possibilities, assuming he was just as mortified as me.  
“I told him.” He admitted and my train of thought crashed and burned. I turned and met those eyes. Those stupid brown eyes.  
“You, what?” I breathed. Hoping, praying I’d misheard him.  
“I told him. You said that you don’t have a choice, that you couldn’t love anyone because of what you are. I thought if-” He was smiling. The idiot was actually fucking smiling.  
“You thought that telling your ‘master’, the man who holds my leash, the most powerful, terrifying and vindictive person I’ve ever met that you and I had sex and (I assume) you wanted to continue doing so… You thought that was a good idea?” I ranted a bit I’ll admit but it didn’t matter. He looked so pleased with himself.  
“Don’t you see.” He reached out and touched my leg. “We can be together now.”  
“Whoah!” I stood up and backed away from him quickly. “Do you realise what you’ve done?” My voice rose and he got up to face me, that smile wiped from his face.  
“I-” He began and I stomped my foot.  
“You high-handed bastard.” I interrupted. “Hux knows, he’ll never listen to a word I say ever again. Nor will anyone else. They’ll all think I’m just your sex toy!”  
“I didn’t intend anyone-” He started, reaching for me.  
“Too late for that!” I swatted his hand away. Every time my abilities have been overlooked was running through my head. Because I’m a woman. Because I’m younger. Because I’m a slave. “They’ll all think I’ve been given privileges because of you.”  
“It’s okay. We can be together now. Isn’t that better?” He’s trying to soothe me but it just makes me even more furious. I wish I had the force. I’d rip his head off and leave it in the audience chamber for Snoke to find.  
“Together.” I snap at him. “Oh great. Love conquers all.” I grit my teeth. “We fucked, Kylo. That’s all it was and all it will ever be.”  
“No.” He denies me and I can feel his influence creeping into my head. “It was more than that.”   
“You want into my head?” I shout. “Go ahead and look. You’ll see exactly what you mean to me.”  
He barely waits for my voice to die away before plunging into my mind. Its not the gentle fizzing I’ve felt before. That was luxury in comparison.  
I grit my teeth against the assault. It’s like thousands of needles burning into my brain. I can tell what he’s looking at.   
My memories of the times we’d had sex, my thoughts on him. Anger, lust, confusion and a little affection but not enough to call it love.   
He looks deeper, I can’t stop him, how would I even try?  
He looks at my past, masters who beat me, relationships gone sour, sex, fear, desparation, pain, longing, loneliness, hopelessness. He watches my mother's death through my eyes and my father selling me to Wabb to pay his gambling debts. The pain of that day is fresh again. He’s hurting me on purpose.   
I relive that first night in the slaves quarters. Alone, so alone.  
At last he leaves me, at some point I must have slumped over because I’m on my knees.   
“You see. You can move past that now. We can move on together.” He says stepping closer and pulling me back to the sofa to sit on his lap.  
He rubs my shaggy hair as my mind reforms. I know what he wanted. He wanted me to look at my isolation, my loneliness, and grab at him as my last chance for something more than meaningless sex.  
He wanted to burn me down so I’d submit to him.  
Idiot.  
“Together.” I breathed as he began kissing my neck.  
“Together.” He repeated. “We can take things slow.” He punctuated each word with a light kiss that made my skin tingle and the heat behind my eyes build. “But you won’t be alone anymore. Neither of us will be.” He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. It was hard to form sentences in my head right now. I was waiting till I could think to react.   
He pushed me down on my back and lay on top of me, pressing his lips to mine. He was taking my limp lack of ration for compliance.  
“You’re free now, Krysta. You can trust me. Love is about trust.” He sighed. He didn’t notice my back go rigid at his use of my birth name. I hated that name almost as much as the man who gave me it.  
“Love?” My brain had righted itself. Every neuron fired in defiance of his touch.  
He drew back to look at me, his eyes were soft and a gentle smile gave him light dimples. I might have fallen then but the fire didn’t burn me down, it turned my heart diamond hard.  
“Yes, love. Maybe not yet but you’re free to feel for me, as I do for you. I know you will. Ever since that night in that filthy workshop. I knew you would be mine.” He smiled and I leaned up to him so he wouldn’t miss a single word.  
“I could never love you.” I said and the softness broke immediately.   
I used his confusion to push out from under him. I turned to walk away.  
He was on his feet in an instant and I heard something I’d not heard before. Most only hear it once. Red light flowed from behind me and I had to whirl round.  
His lightsaber is a thing to behold. It crackles and hums and screeches. I could feel the heat from it in the confined space. He stood with it drawn and pointed towards me, his eyes full of fury.  
I should have cried. Begged for my life. Promised him I’d love him. Offer him my body.  
What did I do? I walked away. He let me.  
As the door closed behind me I heard him let out an animalistic howl and begin to take out his anger on his room.   
I could hear the impacts as I left.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little easier

I returned to the R&D workshop, I must have looked pale as Baz asked if I was well. I reassured him and went back to work.   
I had a message from Hux. It was just a schedule of the construction as well as a list of names of people who I’d be working with. He made no mention of Ren.  
I looked over the schedule, the digging would begin tomorrow. Say what you like about the First Order but you have to admit they are efficient.  
Word didn’t spread about me and Ren until later.  
I’d suspected that rumors would burn through a place like Starkiller quickly. I was right.  
As I sat down to dinner I could hear people muttering about me. Ren had destroyed his quarters and was nearly inconsolable. Snoke had sent him offworld to take out his fury on the resistance.  
His tantrums were fairly commonplace and as normal as rain to the people here. What interested them was the reason for it. They knew that it was due to a girl. They knew that girl was a slave owned by Snoke. They knew that girl had sex with him at least once. They knew that girl rejected him. They knew that girl was me.  
I dined alone and cried myself to sleep. I dreamt of shadows with glowing red eyes waiting for me in the dark. The shadow had my father’s voice.

I reported for the first meeting regarding the construction. Hux presided over the head engineers and construction personnel. They discussed the logistics of what was to be done, argued over timescales and consulted with me about what was needed.  
They sniggered about me when they thought I couldn’t hear. They barely looked at me and questioned everything.  
When the meeting concluded Hux met my eyes once and nodded. I returned the gesture. At least he looked at me.  
I passed FN2187 in the hall. He smiled weakly at me.   
The other engineers didn’t know what to say to me. They avoided me unless they needed something. Even Baz, who had been so welcoming before.  
I spent the day checking over plans and designs, answering questions.   
I ate alone then slept.  
The pattern continued as work began. Eat, work, eat, sleep. I didn’t talk to anyone unless I needed to. It was easier this way. I was numb.  
Then the first tunnel collapsed a few weeks later. They didn’t reinforce the structure and it caved in, killing four men. I checked and rechecked all our calculations. It was their fault, they didn’t follow protocol. People didn’t like that. They wanted to blame someone, they blamed me.  
As I sat down for dinner I was suddenly surrounded by angry faces.  
They tossed my dinner on the floor and threw insults and accusations in my face. I knelt to clean up the mess and one spat on me.  
“Stupid slave girl should go back to her masters bed.” He growled.  
“Little whore. Go back to opening your legs for Ren and leave this stuff to worthwhile people.” Said another.  
They threatened and insulted but none struck me. I could let it flow away from me easily. I’ve heard worse, in a dozen languages. It didn’t matter.  
“X5. To attention.” I stood immediately, dropping the food I’d gathered up. Hux had arrived without my tormentors' notice. They all saluted. “With me.” He ordered and I followed in his wake. He stopped for a moment and ordered the man who spit on me to clean up the mess.  
He didn’t say a word as he led me back to his office.   
He sat down and I stayed to attention in front of him, face as placid as his.  
“X5, our findings show that the construction team were at fault for their own deaths. AS you reported they did not follow safety protocol and paid with their lives.” He said calmly.  
“Yes, sir.” I was on autopilot.  
“It hasn’t escaped my notice that you’ve been somewhat… distracted since it became public that you and Ren were an item.” He seemed upset.  
“Sir.” I responded blandly. I wasn’t going to discuss it. Not with him or anyone else.  
“As I understand it, that dalliance is now over.” He was pushing me.  
“Sir.” Statues would have thought me inexpressive.  
“Regardless.” He waved a hand. “It has been decided that you will now work directly under me in order to maintain your efficacy.” I blinked.  
“Sorry, sir. Could you repeat that?” I said.  
“You are to work directly under me, starting tomorrow.” He repeated. “It is hoped that removing you from general contact with the lower ranks will stop this hostility and return us to full output.” My stomach dropped.  
“With respect, sir. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I said slowly and he raised an orange eyebrow.  
“And why is that?” He leaned back to regard me cooly.  
“Permission to speak freely, sir?” I hesitated.  
“Spit it out, X5.” He sighed.  
“If you do that people will just think I’m sleeping with you now.” I spoke quietly, averting my eyes.  
“Preposterous!” He snapped. I closed my mouth and looked at my feet, cheeks burning. “You’d simply be working under me, we will set you up a desk here in my office and-” He stopped suddenly to think. “You may be right.” He conceded.  
“I have a reputation now, sir. I’m just Ren’s sex slave. It’s unlikely they will ever see me another way. Believe me, I’ve been through this before.” I said softly and again he raised an eyebrow.  
I could feel his curiosity like a physical thing. I swallowed.  
“Be that as it may, you will report to me from now on. I will find somewhere for you to work, away from prying eyes. If the other engineers wish to ask you anything they will have to go through proper channels.” He said calmly. “You will report here at 0800 hours tomorrow. Until then you are on leave.”   
“Yes, sir.” I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a relief. To be able to work without the stares and whispers would be pleasant.   
“Oh and I’ve been informed you’ve not used any of your commissary credits. If you continue to accumulate them they will be frozen.” He was gruff but softened when he saw my confusion.  
“Sorry, sir. What are commissary credits?” I asked tentatively.  
“As you work you earn credits that can be used at the stores here to buy personal items. Casual clothing, toiletries and such. Has no one explained?” His words were gentle.  
“I have money.” I whispered, in awe.  
“Yes, It can only be used at the stores here but you have a fair amount.” He smiled at my joy.  
“May I go, sir?” I was excited. I’d never had money of my own before.  
“You are dismissed.” He seemed amused as I left as fast as I could.  
I found the stores and I’ll admit I was overwhelmed.  
At first I went a little mad, outfits and food and soaps. In the end I settled on a few comfortable clothes, a handful of treats and a few little comforts. The major expense was on a huge soft blanket, it was eight different shades of purple and it was the best thing I’ve ever owned.  
I spent the evening wrapped in it, reading a book and eating these little chewy sweets all the colors you could think of.  
I still had nightmares but they felt a little further away.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New office, new life

At 0800 hours I was ready in front of Hux’s door. Unusually for him he was late and arrived looking somewhat disheveled.  
“Are you alright, sir?” I asked and he smoothed his fiery hair self consciously. He grunted rather than answer me and stormed past into his office. I followed and found him attempting to straighten his uniform in the reflection in the window.   
“Sir?” I repeated and he sighed, rubbing his eyes.  
“I will be fine, X5.” He said at last. I didn’t believe a word of it but experience told me not to argue. “Commander Ren has returned.” My throat constricted as if he were already there, coking the life from me.  
“I- I see.” I stuttered.  
“He has orders to stay away from you, though I suggest you stay alert.” Hux turned and gave me a level look.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied, trying not to sound as scared as I was.  
Hux turned to his desk and pressed a button. A door I hadn’t seen before opposite the windows slides open.   
“Please.” He waves me towards them. I tentatively step forwards to peer in.   
It’s a little office, not much larger than my quarters. There’s a desk with what looks like all my work piled on it. It looks like not too long ago it was a closet or storage and its been altered to be a small workspace. There are two doors. One leading from Hux’s office and the other presumably to the hallway.  
“Is this mine, sir.” I asked, picking up a datapad and skimming over the contents. There was all my work right there.  
“Yes. You will be working here for the remainder of the project. I will check in with you from time to time. Good day, X5.” He pressed the button again and shut me in.  
I stood stock still for a moment.  
At my best guess I’d say that Hux and Ren had had some form of disagreement and Hux had at the very least been pushed aside. I was now in a closet, with no windows, and I was supposed to work here for months.  
I took a breath to steady myself and started to explore my new workspace. The door to the hall opened at my touch but not the one to Hux’s office. That one only opened from his side, hardly fair but it made sense.   
I had a computer terminal, enough supplies to work easily as well as a full toolkit minus some larger things. I guess Hux didn’t want me playing with a plasma welder next door to him.  
The chair was comfortable and I supposed I could personalise the space a bit. I started working, conscious of the confined space. I kept telling myself it was cozy and I could leave if I wanted. Not the best mantra but it helped a little.  
Hux opened the door without warning a few hours later, I jumped at the sound and stumbled to my feet quickly.  
He stepped in looking much more himself. The corner of his mouth twitched.  
“At ease, X5. How is your work going?” He asked, looking at my screen.  
“It’s going well, sir.” I replied quickly. “The excavations look to be back on track and construction of the first Oscillator is underway.”   
“Good work.” He straightened from where he had been looking at my report. “You’re settling in?” He raised his eyebrows.   
“Yes, sir.” I wanted to say no, that I felt trapped but I just couldn’t. They didn’t tolerate weakness here.  
“Cozy?” His lip quirked. He was jabbing at me, hoping for a reaction.  
“Very, sir.” I replied with a bright smile, as brittle as ice.  
“Good.” He turned away to return to his office.  
“Sir?” I said sweetly and he turned as he stepped through the door. “Your collar is still lopsided.”   
He reached up without thinking and his brow knotted. I met his eyes for a moment before he closed the door on me. If he wanted to mess with me I could do it right back.  
He didn’t appear again that day. I grabbed dinner from the canteen and smuggled it back to my room, locking the door and even turning off the main lamp in case it was possible to tell I was in by its light.  
I ate under the small reading lamp and went to bed early dreading knocking in the middle of the night. 

By some miracle he left me alone. I spent the next week scurrying too and fro between my new workspace, my quarters, the canteen and a few meetings.   
I snuck little comforts into the tiny office. It was cold in there, never intended to be used to work in, there was little heat and no temperature controls. So my new purple blanket ended up in there as well as a cache of sweets. The first time Hux caught me bundled up at my desk he was shocked to say the least. He made no comment but the next day there was a hot drinks dispenser wedged in the corner. Aww he did care.  
FN2187 cornered me in the canteen one evening and blackmailed me into eating with him. In my absence the general populace had begun to realise the deaths of the construction workers was not my fault and with Ren rampaging around like a toddler with a welding torch a lot of sympathy was heading my way.  
Instead of assuming my reassignment was the result of any… promiscuity on my part, it was now generally accepted I was using Hux as a human shield against Ren. Everyone was alright with that.  
Eight Seven made me promise to eat with him at least once a week as did his friends Zero and Duce.   
I caught sight of Ren once, storming down a hallway, I managed to duck out of sight. So I’m a coward, judge me again once you’ve told a madman with a laser sword that you’ll never love him.  
Construction was going well. As my work grew so did my hair. It was odd to have it so long. I considered chopping it again but an errant comment from Hux that he thought it suited me made me hesitate. Zero said it made me look hot and Eight Seven almost sprayed his drink out his nose when he said it.  
It was nice to feel attractive, in a normal way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very long day
> 
> **trigger warnings in effect***

I was working one morning, looking over reports on the progress of building the second oscillator, we’d learned a lot from building the first one and were implementing those lessons carefully. Lessons like: do not allow people who have never held a welding torch before attach anything to the oscillator. Freaking idiots.  
I was sitting at my desk, chewing the end of a pencil and peering at my screen. Hux had been surprised to find that I’m actually a very tidy person. My blanket was always neatly folded when not wrapped around me, my sweets had their own jar and wrappers were fastidiously cleared away. Eight-seven often chided me that he had nothing to do when he came to clean. It was suspicious when he suddenly turned up with his cleaning cart and a big smile but it was best not to speculate.  
The door between my office and Hux’s opened suddenly. He was standing, leaning against his desk, red in the face, uniform ruffled and rubbing at his neck. He rasped something at me but I didn’t understand.  
I got up immediately and went to him.  
“Hux! Sir! What happened, are you alright?” I asked. He shook his head, holding a hand up. He was trying to look as he usually did, back straight, face impassive but it was clear he was having problems breathing.  
I reached him just as his eye rolled back in his head and he slumped over. I caught him but he was bigger than me and we tumbled to the floor. He lay flat on his back as I scrambled to kneel next to him.   
I tore at his clothes, pulling away his jacket and shirt to show deep purple bruising over his chest and neck. His breathing was forced and he was wheezing terribly. I felt around carefully, I had a little training in first aid but I’d never dealt with anything like this.   
I shot up and hit the communicator on his desk.  
“Infirmary.” A terse voice answered.  
“This is X5, I’m in Hux’s office and he’s hurt. Barely breathing. Looks like a blow to the chest. We need help now.” I explained quickly.  
“Keep him alive till we get there.” They replied and cut the line.  
I nodded absently and returned to the flannel general.   
In the time I’d been gone he’d stopped breathing and he’d gone limp.  
I pressed my ear to his chest, his heart was beating but extremely slowly. I needed to do something.  
I sat up and braced my legs before leaning down to touch my lips to his. I formed a tight seal like I had been trained, holding his nose closed as gently as I could. I could see his chest rise and fall as I pushed my breath into him.  
After a few breaths I sat up and joined my hands together, centering them over his heart I began to press down in a rhythm I was told once would save him. I could feel his broken ribs shift under my hands but kept going. Pausing to breathe into him again every so often.  
I was sweating and my arms were numb by the time the door snapped open and several medics flooded in.  
I was shoved aside as they got to work, hooking him up to various machines and loading him onto a gurney. I sat with my back to the cool durasteel wall and watched them take him away.   
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was being shaken gently. I looked up into the face of a friend. Kind brown eyes and a wide smile.  
“Eight-Seven.” I grunted as he pulled me to my feet. “What time is it?”   
“‘bout midday.” He replied, letting go but looking concerned as I stretched my back. “Everyones been looking for you.”  
“Well here I am.” I joked when the mornings events washed back over my mind. “Hux. Is he?” I was scared of the answer.  
“He’s gonna live.” He said and I relaxed somewhat. The grey, slack, face of Hux as he lay there on the floor would haunt me but at least I knew he was alright.   
“What happened to him? Any ideas?” I asked, walking towards my office. I picked up a few stray candies from the floor, scattered as I’d rushed to Hux’s side.   
“Nothing’s been reported yet.” He took the candies from me and put them in the trash can. “But you need to head down to the infirmary. Phasma’s waiting there, she needs to know what happened.” He explained and smiled reassuringly at me when I blanched. “Hey, it's alright.” he put his hand on my arm to steady me.   
I nodded and headed out to the Infirmary, repeating ‘its okay’ to myself over and over, smoothing my uniform compulsively.  
When I got there it looked like an upturned ants nest. Every officer I could think of was there, yelling over each other and generally getting in the doctors way. I spotted Phasma’s shining helmet at the same time she spotted me and we headed towards each other.  
“X5, I’m glad we found you.” She said and I could almost feel the relief pouring off her.  
“Yeah, sorry about that.” I rubbed the back of my neck nervously as all eyes turned to us.  
“I understand we have you to thank that the General Survived this attempt on his life.” She said and I admit I was shocked at the blandness of her words.  
“Wait.” I held up a hand as if I could pause the world. “Someone was trying to kill him.” I looked at her in askance.  
“Yes. A man, we assume a member of the Resistance, infiltrated the base and hid until the General and several other senior members of staff passed by. He then set off an incendiary device. Luckily it was poorly placed and the General was only hit by rubble.” She explained. ‘Only’ hit by rubble? How dumb are they? “It seems the blow was worse than he was willing to admit.”  
“Yeah.” I agreed. “What about the other officers?” I asked and she tilted her head.  
“One was killed, the others survived.” She said. “Now, explain to me what happened when you called the medics.”  
I related the tale to her, explained my exhaustion and she nodded.  
“It was well done. We are just waiting for news.” She said and clapped me on the back with one huge gloved hand. I stumbled forward a step.  
As if on cue a doctor emerged from one of the side rooms. He approached Phasma as if the other milling officers were invisible. He glanced briefly at me and seemed to file my existence under U for Unimportant.   
“Captain, he is awake. He will make a full recovery.” He said, hands clasped behind his back.  
“How long before he is back on his feet?” She asked and he blinked several times in succession, as if checking some internal paperwork.   
“A day or two.” He said and she nodded.  
“Can- Can I see him?” I asked meekly. They both turned to look at me as if I had suddenly sprouted a second head that spoke wookie. “I mean-” I stuttered.  
The doctor looked at Phasma who shrugged.  
“Yes, I suppose you may see him. You’re responsible for his survival after all.” He mused, as if the idea of visiting a person who is unwell was novel to him. “But do not antagonise him.” He shook his finger at me.  
“Of course not.” I reassured and he ushered me to the door he had emerged from, opened it and pushed me through before closing it behind me.   
Hux was laying on a medical bed, propped up on several thin pillows. A machine hooked up to his arm bleeped several times as we looked at each other. He was wearing one of those awful blue-grey hospital gowns and his orange hair was mussed. He looked pale and drawn but his eyes were bright with suspicion and anger.   
I stood to attention and saluted him. He narrowed his eyes.  
“Sir, I’m glad to see you’re recovering.” I said carefully.  
“X5.” He said in a careful monotone. His voice was horse and low. “What are you doing here?”  
“I-” I hesitated. In truth I wasn’t sure. Just seeing that he was alive with my own eyes, I suppose.  
“Well?” He snapped and the machine beeped in warning.  
“I just wanted to see-” I began, failing again.  
“You wanted to see the spectacle of General Hux laid up in a bed. Is that it?” He growled and I stepped forward, apologies on my lips.  
“No, sir. I just needed to know you were okay.” I blurted out.   
I doubt he could have looked more shocked had I started to dance and sing.  
“Explain.” He breathed and I stepped a little closer, I stayed at the foot of the bed.  
“I was worried.” I couldn’t look at him and felt a blush light up my cheeks.  
“I see.” He said and I kept my eyes on the floor, fidgeting slightly. It was an odd thing to say, that I had become accustomed to his rather rigid form and that tiny twitch in the corner of his mouth he had instead of a smile.   
“When you collapsed I was scared I-” I stopped myself and took a breath before giving him a sunny smile, finally looking up at him. His bright eyes were wide and shining under the fluorescent lights. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” I finished.  
“Well.” He said, coughing a little. “Thank you for your concern, X5. As you can see I am fine.” He said diplomatically. “You may return to your duties.”  
“Sir.” I said with another salute. As I turned to the door he stopped me.  
“I expect a full report of the current state of the project on my desk before I get back to my post.” He ordered and I relaxed, that was the man I knew.  
“Yes, sir!” I replied and then fled.  
The scrum of officers had vacated and but for a pair of armed troopers hanging around the Infirmary had returned to normal. I snuck out and headed back to my office. I hoped to finished a bit of work that couldn’t wait then head back to my quarters to have a mental breakdown in peace.  
Of course I wasn’t allowed a break. I opened my office door to find a certain black clad buckethead perched behind my desk, leafing through my work. He didn’t seem to notice I was there, he’d removed his helm and bit his lip as he read.  
“Need help with the longer words?” I said and he looked up. He was obviously trying to look as blank faced as Hux managed but he needed practice. I could tell by the set of his jaw and the stiffness in his shoulders how tense he was.   
He stood smoothly and gestured for me to come into the office and shut the door. I hesitated but he seemed happy to wait.   
With a resigned sigh I did as he wanted. With a swish of the doors we were alone.  
“I hear you’ve been busy today.” He said calmly, he seemed serene but for his eyes boring into me.   
“Yes.” I refused to rise to his questioning.  
“Have you been well?” He asked. I crossed my arms, meeting his gaze.  
“Yes.” My one word answers were getting to him. His jaw ticced and his eyes were blazing. We stood in silence for a moment, the normally chilly room heating up. I broke first and made a disgusted sound at him. I breezed past and walked into the open door to Hux’s office.   
His paperwork was everywhere and I started to pick it up, determined to ignore Ren for as long as I could. He was watching me.  
“Why are you doing that?” He snapped as I stacked his papers neatly on the desk and slid his chair underneath carefully.   
“He’ll want it tidy for when he gets back.” I explained mildly.   
“Why do you care?” He growled, I could hear him marching towards me.   
“He’s my superior.” I said through clenched teeth. Again with he Hux jealousy? I was glad he hadn’t stumbled on me giving the redhead cpr. I shuddered to think what he would do.  
“He’s a pompous prick!” Kylo said shoving the papers back onto the floor in a flurry. I turned to face him then.  
“Well it takes one to know one then!” I almost shouted. It was all too much for me today. “You’re all just as bad. Stomping around in your big boots like you own the galaxy!” He didn’t finch and we stood less than a foot apart, I had to crane my neck to look up at him. “What the hell do you want anyway?”  
He stepped forwards and did my best to not back up. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.   
“I wanted to apologise.” He said through gritted teeth. “If you’d give me a chance.”  
“Apologise?” I laughed in his face. “Again? Do you think that’s all it takes? One little ‘I’m sorry’ and I’ll come running.”  
“I am sorry.” He repeated, his jaw was clenched so hard I thought it might break and I could hear the leather of his gloves squeaking in protest as he formed fists at his sides.  
“I don’t care. I won’t be your little sweetie just because you remembered your goddamn manners.” I hissed and he started to back me up against the desk. I had no choice and soon I was trapped between it and him. We were both breathing hard.  
He planted his hands on the desk on either side of me, hemming me in.  
“Why are you being so difficult?” He snarled at me, leaning close.  
“Because you tried to manipulate me.” I held up one finger to illustrate my irritations. “Then you rummaged around in my head so you could emotionally gaslight me.” I held up a second finger. “Then you drew your stupid lightsaber on me.” I held up a third finger. “Plus you made me look like an idiot slut in front of the whole crew.” A fourth finger. “Get the idea.”  
He didn’t flinch but he did back off. Free from the prison of his arms I saw the defeat in him.  
“What did you think I was going to do, Kylo?” I sighed, at least he was calm right now.   
“It doesn’t matter.” He grunted, ever the child.  
“No, it does. I have no idea what you want from me.” I touched his arm and he whirled around.  
Before I could speak he had me back against the desk, arms wrapped around me, lips mashed against mine. All I could do was grab at his shirt for some sort of leverage.  
“Kylo.” I managed to gasp as he moved from my lips to the column of my throat, kissing, nipping, licking. “Kylo!” I managed again, more urgently this time. /He grunted in response and continued his assault on my senses.  
I’m ashamed to say I was responding to it.   
I buried a hand in his hair and jerked his head back at last so I could speak to him.  
“This is a bad idea.” I said, he was panting slightly. “Every time we fuck you get the wrong damn idea.” I keep a firm grip on him as he tried to dip back to my skin.   
“You want this.” He said huskily, brown eyes dark with lust. I could feel the need coming off him in waves, ready to pull me under. I couldn’t deny it, I could feel the heat in my abdomen, I had to press my thighs together tightly to get some friction.   
“I do but I don’t like what comes after.” I said, gasping as he pushed against me. “If we do this it has to be sex, just sex. Nothing more.”  
He hummed and pressed forward, running a hand over my backside and making damn sure I knew he wanted me.  
“Kylo.” I said in warning, jerking his head back again. “Say it. ‘Sex and nothing more.’”  
“Nothing more.” He repeated then a wicked smile played over his face.  
He grabbed me roughly and turned me around to bed over Hux’s desk.  
“Wait!” I protested as he pushed me down and began to pull at my slacks. “Not here!” I heard him chuckle darkly as he pulled down both my slacks and underwear. “Kylo, no!” I snapped and he planted a solid smack on my ass.  
“Oh yes, X5. Just sex. Just pleasure. Just here.” He said, punctuating with a smack each time. I was gasping and wriggling when he finished.  
By the time he freed himself from his trousers and pressed his hardness against me I was lost to arousal.   
He pushed in slowly, I grabbed at the desk for support. Moaning in unison with him. He began to thrust quickly and as hard as he could. A thought drifted through my addled brain that I would have some tell-tale bruises.  
He gripped my hips solidly and had the desk not been bolted down it would have screeched across the floor with the ferocity of his movements.  
I could do nothing but hold on. I came quickly, and cried his name. This seemed to spur him on and he pounded against me harder and faster, panting and grunting like a man possessed. He pushed me towards a second orgasam and when I fell so did he.  
He collapsed against me and lay there for a few minutes getting his breath back. Before he stood up he lay a single soft kiss to the back of my neck.  
My treacherous legs trembled under me as I turned to face him and fumbled to pull my clothes back on. I looked up at him and saw that our coupling had healed something in him. He stood higher, his colour was better and he even smiled.  
He bowed slightly and turned to go.  
“Until next time.” He called as he summoned his helmet to fly to his hand and left. I cursed him silently with every name I knew and invented a few more.  
Sexy bastard buckethead.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X5 gets a thank you

I must have cleaned Hux’s desk a hundred times before he returned. I was paranoid that he’d somehow know, or worse that Ren would taunt him with it.  
He was in recovery for about a week before he appeared looking much as he ever did by his desk, surprising me somewhat. I’d kept the linking door open so I could answer his comms if needed and he crept in so quietly I didn’t notice him at first.   
He stood, looking over my report with a bundle in his free hand.  
“Sir!! I said and stood to attention quickly. “Good to see you back.”  
“At ease, X5.” He said, putting the report down and finally looking at me. He motioned for me to cross the threshold and I did so, biting my lip nervously. “I brought you these, from your constant consumption of those cheap treats I assumed you’d enjoy them.”  
He held out the bundle and I opened it. There where three bags of the premium candies I coveted from the stores. They contained real fruit and honey but where just too expensive for me to warrant buying them.  
“Thank you, sir!” I said with a genuine smile. The corner of his lip twitched. He moved to sit at his desk.  
“I’ve been informed that my survival was down to your efforts so I wanted to get you something to show my gratitude.” He seemed embarrassed.   
“I’m sure I will enjoy them, sir.” I said quietly, stowing them behind my back.  
“Looking over your report it seems you’ve handled things well. Were there difficulties?” He arched an eyebrow. I’d dreaded this, should I lie or not?  
Tell the truth and shame the devil. That’s what someone said to me once.  
“In truth, yes, sir.” I admitted and he leaned forwards expectantly. “In your absence the engineers attempted to leave out important elements of the Oscillators to keep to schedule. Captain Larse and I had a disagreement about that. Had those components not been installed likely the oscillators would have shaken the planet apart.” I gritted my teeth, remembering the shouting match over the conference table. He had some choice names for me that I won’t repeat.  
“A ‘disagreement’?” He said, another quirk of the lip.  
“I’m surprised you didn’t hear it in the infirmary, sir.” I said and he actually smiled. A real smile, so rare I wanted to take a picture.  
“I see. Anything else.” He leaned back more comfortably.  
“Some of the construction crew took it upon themselves to begin work on tunnel 7 when they hadn’t finished tunnels 4 or 5. 6 hasn’t even been started. Their excuse was that the rock was easier there.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve corrected them.”  
“Another argument?” He asked and I nodded. “Whatever am I to do with you, X5?” He cocked his head to the side. I stayed silent, eyes on the floor. Oddly I didn’t feel as if I were being admonished. He hummed at me and I peeked up through my lashes. “As you were, X5.”  
I returned to my desk, expecting him to close the door between us. He didn’t. In fact throughout the day he would call out to me, asking me questions or, it seemed, simply gauging my reactions to things.  
After lunch we were to have a meeting with the chief engineers on the project. I picked up my paperwork and scurried to the conference room to take up my accustomed position at the back.   
As the officers entered almost all of them sneered at me. Despite numerous examples of my abilities they still considered me beneath them.   
Hux entered last and stopped at the door, looking around. I wondered what he was looking for until he met my eye and beckoned me forward. I hopped up at his gesture and he pointed at a seat to the right and a little behind his own.  
“With me, X5.” He said simply and I shifted my things.  
The meeting began well, the engineers reiterating my report. That is until they got to the ‘incidents’ part of the presentation.  
“Sir, I really must insist that silly slave-girl be removed from the project.” Larse said, pointedly not looking at me. “She is irrational and-” Hux cut him off by raising a hand.  
“X5 has informed me of your disagreement.” He said blandly. Larse looked pleased, as if he expected me to be catapulted out the window.  
“Yes, sir. She is disrespectful and ignorant.” He said, crossing his arms and finally looking at me.  
“So you weren't planning on leaving out vital components from the Oscillators?” Hux asked, I couldn’t see his face fully, only in profile but I guessed that telltale eyebrow was up.  
“Well- That is- Yes sir, we were in the process of altering the design.” You’ve gotta hand it to Larse, he was a master of twisting things to make them sound better.  
“Despite warnings from X5 and several of your own staff that doing so was dangerous?” Hux said, still little emotion in his voice.   
“Uhhh-” Larse looked as if he were deflating, the light above glinting off his forehead. Was he sweating?  
“And when asked to return to the original designs you called X5…” He checked a datapad in front of him “‘An idiot whore who needed to go back to sucking dick’.”  
I swallowed, trying not to laugh. This was better than the candy.  
“Sir, I-” Larse floudered under Hux’s glare.  
“You forget, Captain, X5 is here under the Supreme Leader's orders. To countermand her presence is to disobey him.” Hux didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t need to.  
“Sir, I- I-” He stuttered. I wanted to woop with joy but kept my composure.   
“Let that be a reminder to all of you.” He finished and stood up. “I expect a report from each of you regarding the progress of your section of the project on my desk by 1000 hours tomorrow morning. X5, with me.” He marched out and I scurried after him, my arms full of papers.   
I practically had to jog to keep up with him as he marched to his office. I darted to my own desk to unload my arms and returned to stand in front of his to wait for instructions. He settled and picked up a datapad.  
“Sir, is there anything you need before I get back to work?” I asked and he looked at me carefully. There was something different about the way he looked at me now, as if he could actually see me, rather than just the slave his boss had dumped on him.  
“No, X5. Back to your duties.” He said, not unkindly.  
“Yes, ummm, sir?” I said, the words I needed to say pushing at my brain like a physical urge.   
“Yes?” His eyebrow raised and his lips set in a line. I could feel the blush start to form on my cheeks.  
“Thank you, sir. For defending- My work, I mean.” I blurted out and then bolted for my office.  
“You’re welcome.” He replied so softly I might have imagined it before he closed the doors between us for the rest of the day.

It’s no coincidence I got a message from Buckethead that afternoon.  
‘Report to my quarters at 1800 hrs. Do not be late.’   
Every inch of me demanded I ignore it. Well, not every inch. There was still this stupid treacherous part of me that wanted him to rock my world.   
I found his room easily enough. Someone had put a great deal of care into foxing the damage he’d done in his tantrum the last time I was here. Not that I noticed as I barely had time to blink before he was on me, all hands, lips and teeth.  
He pinned me to the wall, my jacket and shirt practically torn open.   
“Kylo!” I gasped as he grabbed me and literally threw me across the room onto the bed.  
He climbed over me like a predator and latched his lips onto my neck and sucked hard. The pain and heat made me thrash under him and he pinned my arms above my head until he was done. He relinquished my skin with a loud pop and sat back to look at his handiwork.   
“What did you do?” I reached for my neck, it was tender and I could almost feel the bruise forming. I squirmed away and found a mirror in his wardrobe. There it was, already dark and blooming where everyone would see it. No mistaking what made it either.   
“Don’t you like it?” He purred and I spun around. He was lounging back, arms behind his head, already gloriously naked and oh so very pleased with himself.  
“How in the hell am I supposed to cover this up you fucking bastard!” I growled and he laughed at me. I stomped around the bed, headed for the door when he grabbed me and pulled me onto the bed, pinning me beneath him.  
“Where do you think you’re going?” He grinned and if he hadn’t held my arms down i would have smacked that smirk clean across the room.  
“I’m leaving. You can’t just mark me like that!” I thrashed under him, grunting through clenched teeth.  
“Oh no, I’ve got you right where I want you, right where you want to be.” He leaned against me and I could feel his arousal, I blushed in shame as my body responded eagerly. “See? Just give in.”  
“Damn you!” I snapped and he laughed again, a low soft chuckle that sent waves of heat right where he wanted. “Just fuck me you devil.”  
“As you wish, kitten.” He said before lowering his head to kiss me. I knew I’d regret this in the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get complicated
> 
> **Sorry about the big gap between posts!**

I was right.  
No matter how hard I tugged the collar of my uniform I couldn’t cover the damn bruise on my neck. I just had to hide until my lunch break when I could run to the stores and find something to cover it with. They sold a small selection of makeup, surely they had a product that could do the job. Small hope.  
I locked myself in my office and prayed, to whoever might be listening, that I’d make it to lunch without being noticed. Just a few hours.  
“X5.” The door between me and Hux opened and he walked in, staring at a datapad. Damn.  
“Good Morning, General.” I said perkily. He must have guessed something was off, I was never usually that cheery. He looked at me and I could feel the second he noticed the purple mark on my throat.  
“X5-” He started then stopped himself. “Do you have that report on Oscillator 3? I can’t find it anywhere.”  
“Here.” I found it quickly and handed it to him.  
“Thank you.” He took it and paused for a moment, he wanted to say something. Something funny? Rude? Condescending? I braced myself.  
He must have thought better of it as he turned on his heel and left. I let out a long breath and cursed Kylo Fucking Ren for the hundreth time that day.  
Sure he was hot stuff but he came with a god complex so unassailable it was maddening. Of course that wasn’t helped by him actually having god-like powers.  
I found the make up, it covered the bruise enough it wasn’t too noticeable. Luckily only Hux had seen it. I was sure he’d spread it around everywhere that I was back with Buckethead but strangely life went on like before.  
I ate with Eight-Seven and his buddies, worked on the project and was an all round productive member of the Order. Ren left me alone but I could feel him smirking whenever I spotted him.  
I hated him. I wanted him. I wanted a drink.

Hux didn’t talk to me much anymore. It was like, in marking my neck, Ren had made me repugnant to him. It was hard work being in the same room as him now, the support he’d given before had all evaporated.  
He barely acknowledged me in meetings, didn’t disagree or sneer or anything like that. He didn’t show any dislike or hate. He just nothinged me. It hurt. After months of working together, even saving his life, all it took was for Ren to mark me as his personal sex toy and that was it.  
I told Eight-Seven who warned me not to go to bed with Ren again. Like I have a choice.  
So my days dragged on, it was odd to see how easy my time slipped past when Hux was friendly (or as friendly as he ever got) and how slow it now ground on now that he barely looked at me.  
The Oscillator Project was near enough two thirds completed when I stood up and stretched in my little office one afternoon. Things had been going well but the work had increased, I’d had to stay late a lot and as far as I knew so had everyone else.  
I knocked on the connecting door, I had a report for Hux. It had been a couple of months since we last spoke to each other like people.   
Ren had reclaimed me several times, and only stopped marking me because I said he might damage me permanently soon. The ever present bruise was fading to a sickly yellow now. Always sudden, and always rough, he pounced on me often enough. It seemed the idea of just having sex appealed to him. We didn’t talk much and he usually left me or pushed me away as soon as I got my senses back.  
With Hux not talking and Ren not talking the only people I had were the odd band of misfit troopers I ate with. Even they seemed distant, scared to get close due to my association with their superiors. I found myself missing Delanius. Mad, I know. The bastard may have beaten me, but at least he talked.   
There was no answer and the door didn’t open. I knocked again, I was sure he was there.  
“General?” I called through the metal. “Sorry to disturb you but I have the report you wanted.” I waited a beat, no response. “General?” I called again, same thing.  
Worried as memories of him gasping on the floor of his office flooded my head I went around to the main door and tried it.  
Thank the stars, it opened. I stepped in to see him slumped over his desk.   
I made myself watch him carefully. Yes, there was the gentle rise and fall of his chest. His face was relaxed and his colour was fine. Asleep. Just asleep.  
I thought about leaving him there, after all he worked hard and deserved a rest, but someone less sympathetic would find him eventually. There were so many people biting at his heels it must be maddening.  
I came closer to him slowly, quietly, I didn’t want to scare him out of sleep. He looked different, younger and sweeter, and I found myself studying his face.   
“General?” I said softly and he didn’t stir. I repeated a little louder and then even more so and he didn’t even flinch. Heavy sleeper.  
I reached out to touch his arm, he was using one as a pillow so I carefully touched the other and shook it ever so slightly.  
Quick as a snake he grabbed my wrist, twisted my arm up painfully then kicked my legs out from under me. I fell hard on my back and he came with me, wrapping one long-fingered hand around my throat and raising the other in a fist to strike me.  
I made an incoherent squeaking noise, gripping his wrist with one hand and raising the other to shield against the blow. We froze as he came back to himself and could see I wasn’t an attacker.   
“X5?” He said, lowering his fist. I nodded against his hand and he pulled it away. He’d been straddling my hips to hold me down and he sat back against his desk and rubbed his face. I stayed still, in case he still wanted to strike me. He grunted and looked at me before offering his hand to help me sit up. I took it.  
Sat up we were almost huddled together, he didn’t let go of my hand and he was studying me closely.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I said and he blinked slowly at me. “I called and you didn’t answer then I came in and you were asleep and-” words tumbled out of my mouth until I was able to bite them back.  
“It's alright. I didn’t hurt you?” He replied, here on the floor, uniform rumpled, hair a mess and eyes wide. He didn’t look like General Hux. He didn’t look like a man that could have me torn apart, he didn’t look like the man who had ignored me for months. He looked like a person.  
“No, I’m okay.” I rubbed my neck unconsciously and he followed my movement, his eyes darkened when he looked at the bruise. He let go of my hand then. “I-” I began to speak and found I didn’t have the words.  
“He hurts you.” He said at last. I nodded. “Do you want him to?” I shook my head. He nodded slightly as if some suspicion had been confirmed. He made as if to stand.  
“Do you hate me?” I said and he looked at me, mouth open. “Do you hate me because he and I-” I found I couldn’t be crass, not now.  
“Who you go to bed with is none of my concern, I just-” He stopped himself before standing and I followed suit. He straightened his uniform and smoothed his hair, hands behind his back he looked like General Hux again. The moment was over.  
“The report you wanted is on your desk, sir.” I said with a salute before heading to the connecting door. He obligingly opened it for me.  
“Thank you, X5.” He said before closing it again behind me.  
I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something. I wanted life to make sense.  
Damn him. Damn Ren.  
Damn men.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren is a bastard

Luckily for me, the project shifted into high gear for a while. The head engineers had worked out I knew what I was talking about, at last, and were constantly dragging me down to the construction site. The rebellion was getting bolder and Snoke wanted them G.O.N.E. Gone.  
I was hardly in my office at all, writing my reports from dingy corners, surrounded by equipment. More often than not I pitched in with building and installing. My jacket was often left crumpled in a corner while I worked but soon I got so fed up with the uniform constricting my movements I ended up appropriating a jumpsuit.  
Sweaty, tired to my bones and covered in dirt and grease? I felt at home for the first time in months. The other workers turned friendly as we worked and we chatted amiably during breaks. The higher ups seemed more comfortable with me like this and while they listened they no longer sneered or ignored me.   
Even better, Ren stopped haunting me. Free of his infulene Hux became warmer towards me and it was easier to walk the halls.   
Soon Oscillators 1-10 were installed and the last two were almost done, the building around them was finished so it would be only a week or so until we were ready to fire. I’d have to cross my fingers that my system worked but I supposed as we would be blown to hell if it didn’t, so I probably wouldn’t notice.  
Someone walked in while I was working late, I’d pulled down my suit as I used to do on hot days, wrapping the arms around my waist. I wore a tank top under it and it was so stained it was hard to tell it had once been white.   
“X5, I-” He started as I was reaching up to replace a panel above my head. I was perched atop a stepladder on my tiptoes.   
“Just a second!” I called as it finally clicked into place. “Whoa!” I stepped back too far and began to topple off the ladder.   
Strong hands caught me and lowered me carefully to the ground. I turned around with a grateful smile and found myself face to face with Hux yet again. It was like the universe was conniving reasons for us to be close enough I could count the freckles on his nose.  
It was only a few seconds but it felt like longer before I jolted and stepped back, knocking into the ladder and laughing nervously.   
“Oh! I mean- Uhhh…” I pushed my hair out of my face and noticed the tiniest smile on his face. A real smile, the second I’d ever gotten from him. “Thank you, sir.” I managed to say.  
He stepped back and handed me a datapad.  
“You’re welcome, X5. Here are the latest readings from the reactor, the levels seem good.” He said as I took it, folding his arms behind him as usual.  
I looked it over, humming to myself as I swiped through the data.  
“Yes but O5 is wavering a little, I should check the mountings…. O4 too.” I said, mostly to myself.   
“Always working.” Hux commented but I didn’t look up. Absentmindedly I rolled my shoulders and I heard the smallest intake of breath from him.   
“It’s what I’m here for.” I replied, double checking my suspicions. “Look here,” I held out the pad for him to see and he came to stand next to me and look over it. “All the ones with fluctuations were installed by RX269’s team. I knew that arse was cutting corners!” I pointed out the relevant information.  
“You’re certain?” He said, leaning closer to the pad and I nodded profusely.  
“I told him he had to triple weld the mountings but it looks like he ignored me, again. I’ll shove a wrench…” I realised who I was talking to. “Sorry, sir.” I said meekly and he turned to me with another small but genuine smile.   
“Don’t be, I appreciate your passion for your work.” He replied and gently took the datapad off me. “But, as it’s getting late may I suggest you stop for the night. The Oscillators will still be here in the morning.”  
“Are you sending me to bed, General?” I joked and he chuckled. I liked that sound.  
“Yes. You work too hard.” He remarked and tucked the datapad behind his back to prevent me from taking it back.  
I was about to reply when a feeling came over me. One I’d become well acquainted with over the past few weeks. Ren.  
“General, much as I appreciate your concern I suggest you leave now.” I rubbed my face in exasperation. He started to protest. “He’s searching for me. I can feel it. He’ll get a lock on where I am soon enough and come find me. You really don’t want to be here when he does.”  
He met my eyes for a long moment. What he saw there I can’t tell you but he nodded and handed me back the pad.  
“Goodnight, X5.” He said before turning on his heel and leaving without a backwards glance. There was a set to his jaw and shoulders that I was becoming accustomed to. Disapproval.   
I sighed and put down the pad, rolling my shoulders and grabbing a drink. All the while there was this niggling, nagging feeling in my brain that only got stronger.  
It was only another five minutes before he stalked in. He seemed agitated, great just what I needed.  
“Good evening, Commander.” I stood to attention and saluted as if to remind him we were not in a private space.  
“X5.” His helmet distorted his voice as usual but I could feel the tone regardless now. Here we go again. “It’s late, you will allow me to accompany you back to your quarters.” not a request, an order.   
It was always like that now. He’d accepted that I would not open my heart for him and now he just ordered me to open my legs. I could refuse but hadn’t yet built up the strength to do so. I’m such an idiot.  
“Of course, sir.” I didn’t need to gather anything, it would all be here tomorrow.   
The walk was quick, he set the pace and when I opened the door to my room he glided in before me as if he owned the place. I know in reality he kind of did own it but that's not the point.  
I turned to close the door and inadvertently locked eyes with one of my neighbours who was walking past. Several emotions crossed her face before she locked it down and turned away. Surprise, disgust and a little anger seemed to be the main points. I couldn’t dwell on it, the door had barely shut and he was pawing at me.   
“Clothes off.” He growled in my ear. He’d taken off his mask and was running open mouthed kisses down my neck, my breath hitched and my body warmed to him.   
I did as he asked and he watched appreciatively. After a few seconds of him looking me over he grabbed me and pushed me down on the bed. He crawled over me and began to kiss me while lazily rubbing against me.  
Before I knew it he’d freed himself from his trousers and was in me. Thank goodness he’d warmed me up a bit first. After that he was frantic, burying his face in the crook of my neck and thrusting into me.   
This was different, he always set the pace but normally he drew it out, delighting in making me breathless for him. This time he didn’t seem to care about my pleasure at all. In fact it was mere moments before he grunted and spilled inside me.   
I’d barely started and he’d already finished. For a moment I hoped he was just dealing with tension and would now focus on me and eventually we’d have sex as we normally did.   
Instead he stood up with a satisfied grunt and tucked his softening member into his trousers.  
“Ah, thank you X5. Goodnight.” He turned to leave, helmet in hand. I shot up so fast I nearly hit my head on the bulkhead.  
“Wait! You know I didn’t-” I started and he turned back with a smirk.  
“Oh I know, but why should I care.” He said and with that he was gone. I could hear his boots in the hall even after the door shut.   
I sat amazed. He’d been rough with me before, left bruises and even dented walls but he’d always been passionate. Chasing my pleasure as well as his own. That was pretty much the only reason I’d let this go on so long.   
This was unacceptable.   
I was furious, at him, at myself, at the whole damned place. I needed to get out.  
I look a ferociously hot shower then pulled on my pajamas but I just couldn’t sleep. My body was pent up and I was ready to break something.  
I spent all night tossing and turning till exhaustion finally claimed me less than an hour before my alarm.   
At breakfast Eight-Seven joined me, his usual jovial smile was gone and we both looked at each other with exhausted eyes.  
“Whats up?” I asked first, pushing my porridge around listlessly.   
“I’ve been reassigned.” He said softly. I looked at him carefully.  
“Where to?” I could see he was worried.  
“Delta squad.” He replied.  
“But that’s front line! You’re a trooper again?” I knew Eight-Seven had been demoted for running his mouth and disobeying orders a few times but he’d never been in an active battle before, he was better suited to support work, we both knew that.  
He swallowed and nodded.  
“We head out later today. To Jakku.” He took a big bite out of the apple he’d been turning in his hands and tried to smile around it.  
I knew Jakku. Sand world, mostly junkers and pirates with a couple of settlements hanging on like limpets to a rock. It was littered with the broken husks of old empire star destroyers, I’d been sent there once to see if I could get an engine out of one undamaged. It was only a couple of weeks but it was a hard place. Credits had little meaning there, you traded for food and water. I’d hated every minute of it.  
“Well hopefully you won’t be there long. Watch out for sandtraps. They’re the worst.” I said jovially as I could and he nodded with false enthusiasm.  
The rest of breakfast passed under a tense air. I scolded myself inwardly, it was stupid of me to get so angry at Ren’s immaturity when those I care about where going through much harder things.   
I had to a bit though I was relieved when I heard Ren was going to Jakku as well, at least I could work without him bothering me. Or so I thought.  
On my way to work I was grabbed and dragged into an empty conference room. I didn’t scream or struggle. I could feel who it was, I should have noticed him before but I was distracted by worrying for my friend.  
Ren had me pinned on my front to the conference table before I could so much as squeak. I Pushed back against him but he held me down.  
“I’m on a mission today.” He growled as he leant over me, grinding into my rear end. He snaked one hand under me to push at my sensitive spots through my clothes. “When I get what I’m looking for, the last threat to the First Order will be gone.”  
“So happy for you.” I panted, damn his talented hands.  
“But for now I need a release.” He pulled at my suit till it was round my knees then pushed me back onto the table. To my shame I was aroused, likely due to him leaving me unfulfilled last night.  
It was a surprise when he entered me and I cried out, I wasn’t quite ready this time. He once again set a punishing pace, gloved hands grabbing my hips as he slammed into me again and again.   
It felt good despite everything and I gasped and moaned feeling that coil in my stomach building. Unfortunately he had other ideas.  
He came quickly and pulled straight out without so much as a kiss.  
I rolled over to push up on my elbows. He was still wearing his helmet, how hadn’t I noticed? I was horrified, I hated that helmet so much and now I’d fucked him with it on.  
“To your station, X5. I will see you again when I return.” He left quickly.   
I was in shock. Once might have been a joke, a prank to make me angry so the next time he was with me he could ‘make up for it’. Twice though? No, this was not fair.  
I pulled myself together, stopping off in my rooms on the way to work to clean myself up. As I suspected he’d bruised my hips but it didn’t hurt. I got to work and the foreman turned to yell at me for being late but I must have looked pretty damn intimidating as his words died on his tongue.   
I worked with anger fueling me. I decided then and there that unless he changed his ways it was over between me and Lord Buckethead. He could find some other woman to warm his bed, goodness knows there were enough volunteers.   
I worked hard and barked orders throughout the day, the engineers and workers did exactly as I asked. I have no idea if it was in fear of my fury or the possibility of me setting my lover on them that drove them to such efficacy but the issues I’d found yesterday were corrected and the Oscillators were ready to install. We were now a full day ahead of schedule.  
While I thanked the team and apologised for my behavior I couldn’t find it in myself to be pleased we were doing well.   
I slept like the dead but woke to feeling unrested.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get even more complicated

Eight-Seven’s shuttle returned about mid morning. Word that the raid on Jakku had failed but for the capture of a resistance pilot quickly spread through Starkiller.   
The poor man’s screams from the interrogation room could be heard from halfway across the base.  
I only caught sight of Eight-Seven in passing, he was pale and wide eyed. I wanted to throw my arms around him but he was being watched intently by Phasma so I kept my distance.   
I wish I’d hugged him. I really do.  
I was walking through one of the halls not long after lunch, it was nearly empty, with my focus on a datapad. I was headed to Hux’s office to discuss the final installation and testing. I heard a sound to my right as I passed a turning.   
There, huddled behind a pillar was Eight-Seven and a man in an orange jumpsuit and brown jacket. The jacket had the resistance symbol on it.   
Eight-Seven met my eyes and I knew then what he was doing. He was leaving and taking the prisoner with him. I froze, I knew what I should do was alert the base but I just couldn’t.  
Footfalls ahead and the worst possible person came into view. Ren.  
If he found them he’d kill them. Tear them apart.  
I had a choice and I made it.  
I nodded at Eight-Seven with a sad smile and bounded forward with fake enthusiasm to Ren.  
“Kylo!” I said loudly and cheerfully, letting the men hiding nearby know who was here. “I’d hoped to see you. Can I get you alone for a moment?” I bit my lip and made my voice sultry as I dared.  
He tensed for a second, regarding me though his helmet but he did exactly what I needed him to do.  
He grabbed my arm and turned to drag me to someplace private. I wished Eight-Seven luck in the silence of my mind and let myself be taken.  
I’d hoped he would take me to his rooms clear across the base but instead he took me to an unused office and fucked me against the wall, leaving yet another indentation and once again left me unsatisfied. At least this time he took off the damn helmet.   
I didn’t complain this time when he left me there to tend to my bruised body and equally bruised ego. I’d just prostituted myself to save a friend and I really hoped it worked.  
When I left the office and found the base to be in shambles because someone had stolen a ship and escaped with the prisoner I had to suppress my urge to whoop.   
Of course that urge was ruined by the news that the ship had been shot down over Jakku and there were no known survivors.   
It took every ounce of strength I had to hold myself together till I was alone. The second my door shut behind me I stood frozen in my room. I started to tidy, in a trance of sorts. It wasn’t till I found the hollow Eight-Seven had taken of us at the shooting range a few months ago that the tears came.  
As a ‘known associate’ of Eight-Seven I should have been questioned but as I was with Ren at the time of the escape I was excused from this process. They didn’t ask what we had been doing but I could tell by the badly concealed sneers that they guessed well enough.   
Ren was, of course, utterly furious. He tore apart three hallways and a conference room.   
I tried to stay clear as he waited for news of some droid he was now hunting but I had little luck. He was constantly hunting me, I guess It was better he take out his frustrations on me with his dick than on the station with his lightsabre but I was growing tired of it.  
Sometimes he didn’t even let me speak before he pinned me down and fucked me. I didn’t fight but that was more out of habit than consent. By the time the droid had been sighted I was a mess of bruises. Hux and the others looked at me with pity now. Poor Kylo Ren’s sex toy.   
I was hiding in my office a day or two after the escape when the connecting door opened. Hux looked chasined when he saw me flinch at the sudden intrusion.  
“X5, I thought you should know there’s news about the droid.” He said with as soothing a tone as he could. I looked up at him from my seat. I was cocooned up in my blanket and there were wrappers from my favorite sweets everywhere. He should be reprimanding me but I suppose he thought I’d been through too much lately.  
“The droid was found but escaped along with a scavenger girl and the known fugitive FN2187.” He read from a datapad in his hands.   
Something in me bloomed with joy at that, Eight-Seven was alive! I nearly cried with relief but held myself together. Hux looked stern and I knew the next bit of news was not something I’d enjoy.  
“You should know that the ship they escaped on is the infamous Millennium Falcon. Have you heard of it?” He asked, one eyebrow quirked.  
Of course I had. Any engineer in the galaxy knew that ship. Corellen light freighter, heavily modified, max speed over 1000 kph. Famous for its involvement with the defeat of the former empire, when it was flown by none other than the famed smuggler Han Solo.   
Han Solo. Wabb hated Solo. He’d been instrumental in the death of Wabb’s older brother Jabba and he was banned from Hutt space, as was his partner Leia Organa. I knew their faces well as all of Wabb’s people, slaves or otherwise, are taught that if we can capture or kill either of them we’d be rewarded beyond measure.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied. “Fast ship, well flown.” I added and he sneered.  
“Well I think you should know-” He started then stopped himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Was he telling me something he shouldn’t.  
“Sir?” I stood up to look in his face and he looked at me for a long moment as if weighing something up.  
“I think you should know that Han Solo is Commander Ren’s father.” He breathed.   
“What?” I replied, unbelieving, yet it rang true. The shape of the nose, the eyes, the way he smirked.   
“It’s not common knowledge. I thought you should know due to your-” he hesitated looking for the words “-association with the Commander. He hates his heritage and this is likely to… complicate things.”  
“Complicate.” I repeated blinking quickly. I sat down again quickly, clutching at my head. “What a clusterfuck!” I snapped holding my face in my hands. Kylo was already skirting the boundary of what I was willing to accept. No doubt this might kill me.  
“That’s one way of putting it.” Hux said and I looked up quickly. He was smiling a little.  
“Sorry, sir. I-” I took a breath. “I may need to hide for a few days.”  
He chuckled, walking into the office further and scooping up some of my wayward sweet wrappers and depositing them in the trash.  
“It’s alright. We’ve all been under stress with this… clusterfuck.” He met my eyes when he swore and I couldn’t help but grin at him. Such a lewd word from such a proper man felt scandalous.   
“At least the oscillators are in and seem to be doing well in the tests. Should be ready to fire in the next day or so.” I said as I collected up the remaining wrappers and disposed of them. “He might just let me live to see it if I hide long enough.” He looked quizzical at that as he perched on the corner of my desk.  
“Can you do that? Hide from him?” He asked, eyebrow raised and eyes locked on mine.  
“I’ve been practicing. You know I can tell if he’s looking for me?” I nervously played with the corner of my blanket as I spoke but he nodded. “Well I worked out that if I can feel him looking I can deflect it by putting up a barrier in my head. Like raising a shield.” hux looked impressed.  
“You’ll have to show me sometime.” He said and I gave him a small smiile.  
“If you think he’s in your head, start counting to 1000. First by twenties then tens then fives and so on. It frustrates him and he stays out.” I nearly whisper this fact. Something I stumbled across when he was trying to sneak into my thoughts again after sex a week or two ago.   
“Useful, thank you.” Hux said and he smiled fully at me. I started to think I should take a picture of him smiling to prove that he could and how handsome it made him when he did.  
As I smiled back that otherness seeped into my head.  
“Damn! Speak of the devil.” I said under my breath.  
“What is it? Is he looking for you?” Hux stood up looking alarmed.  
“Yes. From the feel of it he’s in engineering, he’ll head here next. I’d better go.” I stood up and stepped past him to leave.  
He gripped my arm suddenly.   
“Wait, where are you going?” He looked angry, though not at me.  
“I was going to find somewhere to hunker down till he gets distracted.” I explained. I had a little known supply closet in mind on the lower floor.  
“Come with me.” He put the pad down and headed for the door, letting go of my arm but beckoning me to him. He left my office and headed with purpose towards the officers quarters with me trailing after him. When we were alone he stopped and pointed ahead. “Go down there and make two left turns to reach my quarters. The door code is 8-7-9-5-2. I’ll head him off and make a big noise about him inspecting the oscillators. Go.” He urged me forward then was walking the opposite way, heels clicking on the shining floor.  
I didn’t hesitate. He was right. Ren would never think to look for me in Hux’s quarters. As far as most people knew we barely spoke.   
I did my best not to be seen, luckily the halls were near enough empty and it was easy to avoid those who were there. I reached the door and punched in the code.   
The door opened and I slipped in, quickly closing it behind me.  
His quarters were strangely surprising. I expected something like Ren’s but this was more homey.   
Direct to my right was a kitchenette with a huge bowl of fruit on the counter and some washing up still in the sink. Ahead of me was a small round dining table with four chairs, the tabletop was clean and there was a large wide candle with three wicks sat in the middle in a simple holder. The candle had obviously been used.   
To my left was a sitting area with a huge plush sofa with a lot of cushions. It wasn’t black or red or silver and wasn’t leather. It was green and made of some soft material I didn’t have a name for. Behind that was a desk covered in papers and a computer but it was the shelves next to it that drew me quickly. Books, real printed books. An antiquity of course but I’d so rarely seen any they were beautiful. Books contained old secrets and beautiful stories to me. There was a hollo on one of the shelves in front of the books of an older woman with a beautiful smile. Her hair was russet red struck through with strands of white. His mother maybe.  
I was shaken from my thoughts by a sound I barely recognised. I looked around for the source and found it sat on the sofa looking up at me with gorgeous green eyes. A cat.  
“Hello.” I said softly and offered my hand to it. It jumped onto the back of the sofa and sniffed at me for a moment before pressing its soft head against my knuckles. It began to purr almost immediately and I smiled. It was ginger with a big white patch on its chest and belly, little white socks and a white tip to its tail. It wore a green collar with a bell and a tag. I gently lifted the tag and read its name:  
“Millicent.” I said aloud and the cat mewed in acknowledgement. “Nice name.”  
I stood still for a moment, petting the beautiful unexpected creature. I could still feel the itch of Kylo’s attempt to find me.. He was obviously becoming agitated but I kept my shield up. I hoped Hux hadn’t gotten hurt for his trouble. He’d offered me sanctuary so quickly I hadn’t really chosen it, just followed.  
Saying that I didn’t know how long I was meant to be here and what was I supposed to do while I was here. I wondered about, looking at his neat little home. I found a fresher, clean and pleasant smelling, and took an illicit peek at his bedroom, there was a woolen blanket much like mine rumpled at the end of his bed but I couldn’t tell the colour.  
Absentmindedly I did the dishes and wiped the sides in the kitchen, not that they needed it. Millicent followed my every move as if to keep watch. When that was done I took a look in his fridge but tempting as the high quality food looked I opted for a glass of water.   
I could read but touching those books felt too personal. Three was a large windscreen opposite the sofa but It felt wrong to watch TV. I felt like a trespasser. For goodness sake I didn’t even know his first name. His initial was ‘A’ but that’s all I knew.  
I sat on the sofa and the cat instantly jumped on my lap and settled down. I petted her for a while before realising that niggling feeling was gone. He’d stopped looking for me. I breathed a sigh of relief.  
I settled back against the sofa, it really was very comfortable and waited for a few minutes. I wanted to be sure he wasn’t looking for me anymore before I left. I focused on my breathing on millicents warm body on my lap. Tension I’d forgotten I was caring ebbed away. I’d done it. He couldn’t find me.  
What must have been hours later I was woken by someone gently shaking my shoulder and saying my name.  
“X5?” I opened my eyes, millicent was gone but judging by the warmth left behind it must have been recently and looking intently into my face was her owner.  
“Oh!” I sat up from where I’d snuggled into the sofa cushions and immediately saluted him. “I’m sorry, General I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I meant to leave ages ago!” I made to stand up and he gently pushed me back down.  
“Its okay. I’m just glad he didn’t find you.” He smiled and I relaxed a little. “He was obviously angry but couldn’t express it. I took him on a long inspection of the oscillators, It seems you have more allies than you think. Almost all of the engineers did there best not to mention you at all.” He rubbed at his shoulder with a wince. “I’m afraid he rather took it out on me.”  
“What?” I looked closer at him, his uniform was rumpled and the collar was twisted. Without thinking I pulled it aside to show bruises forming. “What did that fucking bastard do now?” I hissed. Hux chuckled.  
“He choked me with those wizard powers of his then threw me into a wall.” He took my hand and pulled it away from his collar. “I’m alright. I’ve had worse.”   
“That’s not the point and you know it.” I said with a sigh. “What am I going to do, General?”   
“Perhaps, you should just tell him that you no longer wish to see him?” He suggested and I chuckled darkly.  
“Ever try and break up with anyone who has a lightsaber and a temper?” I said and he smiled slightly.  
“No, I can’t say that I have.” I realised how close together we were sitting and yet I didn’t feel uncomfortable. It was easy being close to him.  
“Well it’s difficult to say the least.” I said softly. He still had hold of my hand and was running his thumb over my knuckles. It was nice but I don’t think he realised he was doing it.  
“Maybe if someone else was present? To allow you an escape?” He reasoned and I bit my lip.  
“Like you? No he’d just take it out on you, General.” I said, shaking my head.  
“You needn’t be so formal, X5.” He said. “Please, if we’re alone call me ‘Armitage’.”  
“Armitage, huh?” I tried out his name and he seemed pleased to hear it.   
“You’ve saved my life, I’ve now saved your dignity if not your life. I think I owe you my name at the least.” He said with another smile. “And what about you? Surely X5 isn’t your real name?”  
I could tell he was deflecting the conversation though why, I couldn’t tell.  
“I had a name my father gave me but I stopped using it the day he sold me.” I said and he seemed contrite at pulling out old hurts.  
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t-”He started and dropped my hand.  
“No. It’s alright. It’s a long time ago. My masters call me what they want and that's how I’m known. Wabb calls me ‘Sparky’, or the huttanese equivalent anyway. Some masters gave me a name some just called me ‘slave’ or ‘girl’. A couple gave me a name but I don’t remember.” I explained.   
“I see.” He sat back against the sofa and looked at me. “Would you dislike it if I gave you a name?”  
“Really?” I turned to him. “Well… that would be okay, as long as you only use it in private.” i say and he smiles.  
“What about ‘Xia’? I’ve heard some of the troopers call you ‘X’, it could just be an extension of that.” He lay one arm on the back of the sofa.  
“Xia.” I breathed. “I like it.”  
“Good.” He replied and I blushed involuntarily. “It suits you.”  
“Thank you.” I blushed harder and stood up, suddenly needing the distance. “And thank you for letting me hide here. I’ll get going now.”  
“You can hide here anytime you need. You know the code, and Millicent seems to like you.” He motioned to the ginger fluffball winding her way through my legs.   
I nodded and headed to the door quickly.  
“Goodnight, Xia.” He called after me and I paused at the door.   
“Goodnight, Armitage.” I replied.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hard lessons and tender moments

Hux, Armitage, was right. I needed to end things with Ren but how to do that exactly. He’d murder me on the spot I’d imagine and while being a slave wasn’t much of a life I’d rather keep it.  
Then there was this... thing with Hux. Too complicated.  
The next time Ren looked for me I’d hide in a closet, though I’d miss Millicent.  
The next day I woke to a message from Hux.   
‘Snoke has told us the first firing will be today.’  
I put my head back into the pillow at that.  
Was the machine ready, yes. Was I? That was the question.   
I’d spent most of my life working on engines and such, weapons where something I dabbled in and managed to convince myself that they were for self-defence. Now I’d enabled a superweapon on an epic scale, come to life. It would destroy anything it was aimed at, no need for a second shot. The Death Star of old would pale in comparison.  
I had to keep telling myself it wasn’t me pulling the trigger.  
Other messages followed, I needed my dress uniform as I was expected to stand at the ceremony and look my best. I found it at the back of the closet and examined it closely. It was the same as my normal uniform, only slightly sleeker.   
I showered and did my best with my hair. It was long enough to pin behind my head now. I even put on a little makeup.  
The unveiling was set for an hour from now. I headed to the canteen to eat, the tension in the air drove me to grab an apple and leave quickly.  
I arrived at the parade ground early and enjoyed the open air on my face. It was cold but I needed it. Others soon joined me and it wasn’t long before the fields below were filled with troops.  
A podium had been set up as well as giant vid screens so everyone could see and hear what was said. They’d had this prepared for a long time.   
I stood behind the offices and looked out into the sky. It was always semi dark here, after this it would always be dark.  
Hux appeared and began his speech. It was powerful stuff. I’m sure If you believed in the First Order it would have been stirring stuff. I couldn’t believe this inflammatory orator was the man who had gently caressed my hand last night. Complicated.  
When he finished someone flipped the switch and the weapon began to draw energy from the sun. Spectacular stuff. It was like it was being drawn through a funnel towards us.   
I knew that it was being taken into the planets core where it was changed from one energy to another, all held steady by my oscillators. I could feel the ground vibrate as they worked.   
The parade ground emptied and everyone headed inside to watch from safety. I was handed a datapad with the readings on. It was working.  
It took a very long time to drain the sun and as the day grew darker so did my mood. There was a countdown on my pad and I started to stare at it incessantly. I was desperate for something to do to keep my mind off it but there was no work to be done.   
Hours passed and at last it was ready.   
The trigger was pulled and I jumped as the scarlet beam of energy burst out of the planet and shot off into space. I watched the monitors and tried not to wince when the shot hit its mark. The new republic was gone.   
It’s said that those in touch with the force could feel it when such things happen. I silently hoped that Snoke could feel every last life he’d just snuffed out.   
In the turmoil of celebration afterwards I slipped away. The base felt empty and heartless now, colder.   
While I had been distracted by Ren and his madness maybe I should have thought about the people I was helping to hurt. I knew my lot in life, I didn’t get much choice in anything but could I have done something?  
Yes. I could have done something.

The next day I was dragged before Snoke who practically drowned me in accolades. I stood with Hux and Ren who seemed to be ignoring each other.  
Snoke reiterated that the rebellion was still active and he wanted the droid that Ren had been chasing. None of my business.  
“X5.” He said and I snapped to attention. “I feel your turmoil. Perhaps it would be best if we spoke alone.” He met my eyes and all I could do was nod.  
Ren and Hux left, both offering me a worried glance. Aww, they did care. When the door slammed behind them, I took a deep breath.  
“Sir?” I squeaked.  
“You are fractured, I see it. Joyous that your invention has worked and you will now receive recognition for your talents. Horrified at what your invention has done. Am I correct?” He sat back in his throne and regarded me.  
“Yes, sir.” No use in denying it.  
“You are valuable to us, X5. Do not let this shake you. You knew what it was you were creating.” He steepled his fingers. He wasn’t concerned for me, rather my potential. If I could make something like this function, what else could I do?   
I didn’t want him in my head. I hated him seeing my emotions.  
I did a stupid thing then. A really truely stupid thing.  
I put up my shield, I blocked him out.   
I knew the second he realised what I’d done. He looked shocked, then angry and then intrigued.  
“Perhaps I should have you reassigned to my ship.” He pondered, one of this awful long fingers pointing at me. “There’s more potential in you than I thought.” I couldn’t reply. This was my master, he owned me. He hummed in thought for a moment before leaning back. “But not yet, We need to be sure of Starkiller’s viability first.”  
“Yes, sir.” I swallowed hard, I realised how much I did not want to leave and, more importantly, how much I did not want to be in a room with him.  
“You may return to your duties. Tell Ren and Hux to return.” He dismissed me and I left the room like I was shot out of a cannon.  
I motioned for them to return to the chamber and Hux looked at me archly before following Ren back through the door.  
I scurried back to my office to look over the readings from yesterday’s firing. I tried to bury myself in numbers. I flinched when I heard Hux return to his office but thankfully he did not come to speak with me.  
I managed almost my entire shift without speaking to anyone. As I got up to head to my quarters the connecting doors slid open. Hux was stood at his window, his back to me.  
“Xia-” I twitched a little when he used that name. “Will you join me please?”   
Reluctantly I came to stand nearby, out of arm's reach, and turned to see what he was looking at.   
The landscape was just as spectacular as it ever had been. Great mountains and snow covered ridges dotted with massive buildings containing the base and the gargantuan weapon beneath it. It was dark, lit only by the floodlights of the airstrip and parade grounds. It would always be dark now. It would consume any star that dared to light it and use that energy to kill. I shivered a little, it was colder now too.  
“How can I help, sir?” I said, I could have used his name but it still seemed wrong.   
“You can relax. Ren has gone off base, looking for that droid again.” He didn’t look at me, I could only see his face as a ghostly reflection in the glass. I did in fact relax a little.  
“Thank you for telling me.” I said and caught the smallest smile from him.  
“I wondered if you might like to join me for dinner?” He asked and I froze, that was why he wasn’t looking at me. He was afraid of my reaction.  
“I- I-” I stuttered.   
“Just as friends of course.” He added which relaxed things slightly but couldn’t change my answer. I wanted to, I was so lonely since Eight-Seven left. I missed that companionship.  
“I think that would be a bad idea.” I replied, my voice soft.  
“Oh?” He turned to me at last, that just made it harder.  
“Even as friends, if Ren found out he-” I swallowed, hard. “He’d tear you apart and I couldn’t live with that. And-” I searched for the words while he searched my face. “I’m having trouble with what happened yesterday.” His brow wrinkled.  
“Yesterday? The firing? But it went brilliantly! Your oscillators worked perfectly. What could be bothering you?” He said, stepping closer. He stopped suddenly. “Ah. You’ve never killed before, have you?”  
“No.” I choked out, trying to will my eyes to stop welling up.  
“You had to know what it was you were building. What it was going to do when you finished.” He was pushing me, it was gentle but insistent, forcing me to accept what I had done, what I had enabled. Building those oscillators, I may as well have pressed the fire button myself.  
“All those people.” I sobbed, tears finally coming.  
I hid my face in my hands, trying to control myself. I was ashamed, I felt weak.  
I expected him to turn away, men often react badly to a woman crying. I didn't expect his arms to wrap around me. He let me bury my face in his chest and cry for strangers. He stroked my hair and hushed me softly. Such tenderness reached into the void of my heart and pulled harder than anything ever had.  
I didn’t resist his embrace and he didn’t try to force me to stop crying. I took a deep breath after a moment or two and managed to get a grip on myself. I looked up at him and he gave me one of those half smiles.  
“It’s alright, I felt the same the first time, and that was only one person.” He joked softly, dark humor but it made me chuckle a little. “Feel better?” I stepped back slowly out of his arms and he let me go. I missed his warmth immediately.  
“Yes, thank you, Armitage.” I said honestly. It did feel better having voiced my pain.  
“Good, the feeling will fade.” He tucked his arms back behind him and looked a little sad. “However I feel that you are correct. If Ren were to suspect you and I were in any way intimate, even platonically, he would likely kill both of us.”  
“When he returns, if he’s successful maybe it will be easier to tell him it’s over.” I mused then rubbed my face. “Or maybe he’ll just slice me in half.” I chuckled darkly.  
“You have to decide which is worse. Him dragging you into every dark corner to use you or the possibility that he may cut you to ribbons.” He chuckled too. It was easier somehow, to treat it like a joke.  
“If he kills me, would you like my blanket? Millicent might enjoy sleeping on it.” I took a breath and smiled at him.  
“Once the crumbs are washed out, definitely.” He retorted.  
I pouted and turned to leave.  
“Goodnight, Armitage.” I called over my shoulder.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very bad day

I got up the next morning to a message from Hux. He was informing me that Ren had gotten in late with a new prisoner. The scavenger girl who stole the droid he was after.  
I wondered when he would interrogate her, a painful experience I knew. I felt pity for the poor thing. Doubtless he would tear her apart looking for answers.  
I needn't have wondered long. I felt it when he began to tear through her mind. It was like a wave of energy radiating from the prison block. It have me a headache from this distance.   
I knew that Starkiller had been repositioned to aim at another set of worlds. Another firing today. I couldn’t beg off and hide in my room, I was needed.  
I grumbled and finished brushing out my hair and pulling on my uniform.  
I felt it when she fought back. The energy changed, it was different, like a different vibration pattern. Rens was low and thumping like a bass rumble. Hers was faster and more erratic. I sat down and closed my eyes to feel it. The two warring signatures ended suddenly and I felt a spike from him. He was angry. So angry.   
I could feel him moving away from her, I could almost see him stomping down the halls towards Snoke’s audience chamber. I’ll admit curiosity got the better of me. I needed to see her, to put a face to someone who could best him in using the force. I finished getting dressed and headed to the prison wing.   
I usually avoided this area of the base. I’d been held in cells like these before by a former master and didn’t wish to be reminded of them. I Passed a few troopers who barely noticed me. There were no questions asked, no suspicion. I suppose being Kylo Ren’s personal sex toy had its advantages.  
I turned the corner to the interrogation rooms to see someone stepping out of one looking confused. Dressed for the desert with her hair tightly bound behind her head there was a young woman, she was younger than me by a few years and her skin shone with a sheen of sweat. Obviously fighting Ren off had taken considerable effort.  
She had a blaster so I lifted my hands to show her I meant no harm.  
“Easy now. You’re the scavenger girl Ren brought back, do you have a name?” I asked, her big brown eyes where wary but I hadn’t attacked.  
“Rey.” She said quickly.  
“Okay. Now, Rey, I don’t know how you got out of there, though I can guess.” I nodded towards the door. “But I suggest you get out of here quickly before he comes back.”  
She looked surprised. I don’t know what she was expecting, for me to lunge forward and beat her?  
“Wait, you want to help me?” She spoke in a harsh whisper, I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at her. “Why?” Before I could open my mouth to explain she shook her head and looked at me differently. “I saw you, in his head.” Her eyes were unfocused as if she was seeing something I couldn’t. “He hurts you, he wants something from you and you won’t give it to him.”   
“Love. I won’t give him my heart.” I reply truthfully. My voice seems to break her trance. “I want to help you because if I don’t he’ll tear you apart.”  
I turn and beckon for her to follow me. She hesitates but joins me.  
I take her down lesser used routes to one of the hangers.  
“Can you fly?” I ask as we move.  
“Yes.” I push her into an alcove as several troopers march across the junction we’re nearing.  
“Then I’ll get you a ship. I have access to the engineering systems. I’ll take over one of the TIE Fighters and then set off an overload to distract them. Get in and get out as fast as you can.” I explain as they leave and we begin moving again.   
“Why don’t you come with me?” She asks. “I don’t even know your name.”  
“Its X5, and I would if I could. But I can’t so don’t ask again.” I said and she seemed to understand.  
We were into one of the quieter areas now. With the weapon reading to fire they cleared the halls, the shields were up anyway. No real fear of an attack.  
We stopped at a corner because I heard voices.  
“You can’t be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My troops will storm this block and kill you all!” I knew that voice, who was she talking to?  
“I disagree. What do we do with her?” Wait. That couldn’t be who I thought.  
“Is there a garbage chute? A trash compactor?” Another voice, a man I’d never heard.  
“Yes. There is.” THe second voice replied.   
I took off cautiously, with Rey creeping behind. I heard a door swoop open. Several curses and then the door closing. Chuckles from two male voices.  
I turned the corner to look in the face of a man I thought was dead.  
“Tell me that wasn’t Captain Phasma.” I said and he ran forward to hug me and then Rey.  
“Hey, hug later! We need to set these charges!” The other man said.   
My smile faded. Those eyes, that nose, the set of the jaw.   
“No, no, no, no, no! Not you! You can’t be here! You all need to go, now!” I said and Eight-Seven looked confused.  
“Its okay, X. This is Han.” He held my arm and introduced me. “Han Solo, this is X5. She helped me escape with Poe.” I pulled my arm away and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.  
“Wait-” I had to rewind the conversation in my head. “What charges, Eight-Seven?”  
“Finn. It’s Finn now.” He corrected, then looked sheepish. “Look X5 I know you worked really hard on those oscillators but…” He trailed off.  
“You’re going to blow them up! But that’ll tear the place apart!” I lunged forward for his back only to have a blaster shoved in my face. Han grabbed my hands and pulled me away.  
“That’s the idea, sweetheart. Now unless you want to join the good captain in the garbage I suggest you calm down.” He growled. I swallowed then nodded.  
They dragged me through the base to the main oscillator block. A wookie joined us there. I was in awe for a moment, they were so rare as to be nearly extinct these days. He roared and whined rather than spoke yet Han seemed to understand him.  
There were distant explosions. Several of my oscillators jutted up from the landscape like pylons. I guessed they were the target. I flinched each time the ground rumbled.   
“Look kid, you tell us where best to set the charges and we’ll let you come with us.” Han offered as we stood next to one of my creations.   
“I can’t go with you.” I sighed.  
“You keep saying that. Why can’t you come, is it Ren?” Rey asked and Eight-Seven, Finn, turned away. He knew.  
I lifted my arm and pulled up the sleeve to show the cuff built into my wrist. Han seemed to recognise it.  
“See this? I’m not a member of the First Order. I am a slave, owned by Supreme Leader Snoke.” I explained and Rey’s eyes went wide. “If I leave my designated area, thats this base, then two things will happen. This cuff will send a shock through my nervous system that will at minimum knock me flat and-” I paused for effect. “It will emit a tracking signal that can be detected across the cluster.”  
“Ah.” Rey lowered her eyes. There it was, pity, always damn pity. I hate being pitied.  
I pointed a little over head height on the oscillator.  
“There, that panel, attach them there and it’ll do the most damage.” I say with a sigh. I may as well help.  
“Thanks, kid.” Han offers me a roguelike smile but I turn away as they begin to dash around to attach them.   
I lean against a railing, looking down at the chasm under us. I’d spend hours in a harness dangling over it that it almost felt like home. I could feel the vibrations as the weapon beneath me woke up. A great beast stirring.   
There was the feeling I’d been dreading, pricking at the edges of my awareness. He was coming.   
There he is. I can see him walking, searching on the lower level. The light reflects off his helmet as his robes flutter around him. He looks like a demon, a devil. I pull up my shield but he’s not looking for me, hasn’t even noticed me.  
He turns to walk over one of the narrow bridges that crosses the pit, as he walks Han steps out of hiding.  
“Ben!” He calls. I feel Ren’s ripple of emotion at hearing his voice. Anger and sadness and longing so deep it almost makes me choke.  
He turns to his father slowly. I want to call out, to stop what I’m sure us about to happen.  
“Han Solo, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” I hear him clearly despite the mask. I can feel my mind being dragged into his head, I try to fight it but I have no idea what is happening or why, like I’m caught in a riptide.  
“Take off that mask, you don’t need it.” Han’s voice is soft and gentle.  
“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” Ren’s fists unfurl and I can feel him trying to gain control of his emotions even as I’ve pulled along by them.  
“The face of my son.” I can feel Han’s emotions now too. Guilt, anger, hope, love. I latched onto his hope as a lifeline to stop me from being dragged under by the darker thoughts. I feel his pride and his pain as Ren removes that damn helmet. I feel myself grip the rail for support and that there’s someone next to me but beyond that I can’t say.  
I feel the men speak to one another, Han ‘s trying to reason with his son and I feel it, almost see it, when Ren almost gives in to his desire to do as Han wants, to hug him and beg forgiveness.  
He offers his lightsaber to Han but I feel it before it happens. He ignites the blade, impaling his father.   
I gasp, feeling his pain, his shock and his deep sadness. I grip the railing and whimper, as I feel him fall, I fall with him but grab onto Ren’s bittersweet triumph to pull away from the dying man as he disappears into the chasm. His body will be consumed by the energy I helped contain.  
I hear screaming above then an animalistic howl next to me. A great warm hand grips my shoulder and flings me aside to fire at Ren. The wookie.   
He hits and I feel that too. I try to claw my awareness back to my own body even as I force myself to move to the wall and curl up against it.   
I hear footfalls, basters being fired nearby. At last after a moment of frantic activity all around I’m alone and I feel like I’m back in my own head.  
What in the name of the Great Mother Sarlac’s Left Tit was that!  
Was that the force or am I going mad?  
I decide that I’m mad. In all senses of the word.  
I sit up and then pull myself upright.  
They’ve all gone to scream and lash out at each other in the snow.  
I knew he’d kill Han, it was inevitable. The man was a concentrated ball of parental issues and I’m done with it.  
I felt him out there. He was fighting, hurting.  
I’m done with him.  
Damnit.  
I rush outside to follow them. There’s a dead trooper or two on the path towards some dying trees, what was once a gorgeous snow covered forest is now decaying with no sunlight.   
I scoop up their sidearm and follow the obvious tracks in the snow. Not that I needed to, Ren was lit up in my mind like a beacon.   
There’s a deep rumble nearby, the charges. Damn the resistance, damn Han, damn that wookie, damn Eight-Seven, damn Rey and double damn Great Lord Buckethead!   
The world wasn’t breaking apart so some of my oscillators must still be working but it was only a matter of time.   
It’s not long before I see the glow of lightsabers. Ren and Rey are dueling as if the universe depended on it and Eight-Seven is on the ground.  
Tears prick my eyes as I head for him and fall to my knees next to his prone body. He’s hurt, bad, a huge smoking gash across his chest and stomach. There’s nothing I can do but he’s alive.   
The ground lurches and cracks split around us. I yell wordlessly and scramble away from the fissures forming as the planet is breaking up. I look up in time to see Rey land a vicious hit on Ren who drops to his knees.   
She could kill him now, should kill him but she turns away and heads towards us. She cries out for Finn, no longer my Eight-Seven. I help her lift him to carry him away. She’s crying.  
It’s hopeless we’re going to die here.  
Lights, a ship, their ship.  
Correction, I’m going to die here.  
I help her to the hatch lowered by the howling beast at the controls and I step back.  
“Come with us!” She shouts above the noise.  
“Go!” I shout and run away. I know they hesitate but they leave. I run back to the man whose mind I still hear.  
He’s lying in the snow, a great gash across his face and body, breathing ragged. I pull him up to try and drag him to safety, cursing at him all the while. I pull him from the woods, skirting around the worst of the fissures.   
“There!” A shout that almost makes me collapse. Troopers appear in the smoke and ruin and take my burden. I let them take him and fall down, exhausted. A trooper stops by me and speaks into his communicator.  
“X5 is here too, sir, shall I bring her?” I’m not sure if I recognise the voice. I don’t hear the reply but they nod and stoop to help me up, I swoon as soon as I’m upright but stay awake.  
He drags me to a ship and dumps me in a seat, I lean to watch out the window as we leave Starkiller, I watch as the planet falls apart and feel my eyes flutter, darkness threatening to take me.  
“Hux.” I manage to say to the Trooper next to me. “Did he make it out?”  
“Yes, he’s ordered me to get you off the base.” he replies.  
I nod and brace myself as we leave the atmosphere. As soon as we’re out my cuff activates and I drop to the floor like a dead weight, twitching and screaming as the shocks burn through my system.   
I can see several troopers standing over me trying to understand what’s happening, one tries to grab me but is shocked in turn. It’s almost funny.  
At last sweet unconsciousness takes me and the pain fades.  
I hate everything.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another bad day
> 
> ** I am aware that there are a lot of spelling errors etc but I'm a lazy editor, SORRY!**

I woke with a start, still lying on the floor of the transport ship. Someone had kindly rolled up an old jumpsuit to put under my head.  
I groaned as I leavered myself up on one elbow to look around. The ramp had been lowered and there was a flurry of activity outside. We were on one of the fleet, big is all I could tell you.  
I rubbed my face and pulled myself up using one of the seats, nausea rolled over me but I resisted the urge to throw up. There was nothing in my stomach anyway. My wrist stung like hell and I rolled up my sleeve tentatively to look. The skin around the band was swollen and red, hot to the touch and very painful. I’m no expert but it looked like an electrical burn.  
I stood, cradling my arm against me to protect it, and limped down the ramp.  
Troopers were running everywhere and transports were landing and offloading constantly. It was like someone had kicked an insect hive. I leant on a support strut for a moment just watching, mesmerized. No one noticed me and I had no orders.   
At last I flagged down a trooper and asked them where medical was. He pointed me in the right direction then ran off after someone distant barked orders at him. I watched him go then started to head, slowly and carefully, in the direction he’d pointed.   
Once out of the hanger bay it was quieter but there were still people rushing to and fro. I made a couple of wrong turns and had to stop people but in the end I found my way to the treatment centre.   
It was packed with people. Officers and troopers standing, sitting lying on gurneys or just in heaps on the floor. The place smelled awful and there was a constant cacophony of groaning and coughing.  
There were medical staff flitting between people asking questions and checking people over, entering data on pads and yelling to each other. Every so often someone would be taken through a set of double doors, I guessed it was to be treated. This was triage and I would have to wait.  
I leaned on a table next to a young woman with a cut on her head that was closing but had bleed profusely over her face. She looked at me for a second but there was no recognition before she returned to staring into space.  
It felt like forever before a man in green scrubs and a white jacket bustled up to speak to me.  
“Name?” He said, tersely. He was looking at a datapad rather than at me.  
“X5.” I said and he nodded, noting it down.  
“What's wrong with you then?” He looked at me then and I lifted my arm gently.  
“Some kind of burn, I think.” I replied. He put the datapad in his pocket and reached for my arm. He pulled back the sleeve and looked carefully at the skin around the cuff.   
“What happened here?” He asked and I had to take a breath.  
“I- I’m a slave. There’s a failsafe built into that-” I motioned at the metal built into my arm “That went off when I left Starkiller. Someone must have forgotten to turn it off.” He looked up into my face for a long moment then returned his attention to my arm.  
“Well it’s burned the skin around it as you can see, I think your body is rejecting it as well.” He mused before stepping back, pulling out the pad and entering some things. “You’ll have to wait. We’ll get to you as soon as we can.” With that he left me to talk to someone else.   
I sat on the floor in the end and tried to block out what was going on around me. No better time to try and adsorb what had happened.  
What the hell did happen? It was a blur.  
Somehow I’d tapped into the emotions and thoughts of other people. Ren, Rey, and Han. I’d felt the blow that killed Han as if it had been me.  
I couldn’t control it, it was like being pulled along by a tether. I did manage to push myself in the right direction in the end but it had been hard work. I wondered if it only worked on people who could use the force. Ren certainly could, I guessed the same of Rey and if Ren could it stood to reason that his father could as well.  
I closed my eyes and leant my head against the wall behind me. I tried to see if I could replicate the feeling. I tentatively reached out to the woman next to me, trying to see into her head.  
I didn’t get anything from her and so just relaxed and tried to breathe, maybe get some sleep.  
Pain. A huge wave of pain and fear washed over me. I could feel it, everyone nearby. Anxiety and anger spiking from some, hopelessness and utter disbelief from others. It was overwhelming and I could feel my mind slipping. I took another deep breath and focused on my own body, the cold floor, the pain in my arm and the sound of my heartbeat.  
After a few minutes I felt more stable and able to comprehend what I was feeling. The emotions and sensations almost had colour and texture to them. Pain was black and sharp. Anger red and rolling like a thundercloud. Fear a deep putrid green and it seemed weirdly sticky. Glimmers of hope and relief were like bright stars amongst a sea of darker more destructive thoughts.  
I watched this moving tapestry of sensations for a while, I saw people change colour as they moved from one thought to the next. I watched a man die across the room from me. The deep black pain became so vivid that it made me wince and then it was gone. I opened my eyes and the man who had been writhing on a gurney opposite me had gone limp. I knew those around him assumed he’d lost consciousness but I could see it, he was dead.   
I scrambled back into my own head then, trying to understand what I was looking at. The force as I knew it was much more straightforward and anyone who had control of it did so from a young age.   
I was scared of it and yet it was thrilling.  
“You there!” A doctor called to me and I dragged myself up. He led me to a smaller room, clinical and white and asked me to remove my jacket. He poked and prodded my wrist, checking it over. He confirmed that my body was rejecting the cuff and they would need to remove it before it became infected. I was told to wait while the surgeon got ready then was left alone.   
My thoughts turned to Ren and to Armitage, how strange to think of his first name. I knew they were both alive but beyond that, nothing. Better not to ask the staff here. I’d rather not open that particular can of worms.   
The surgeon arrived, dressed in a sickly yellow colour and already wearing a medical mask. He wheeled in a set of equipment and asked me to lay my injured arm on a strange table he pulled up to me.   
“I need to numb your arm then remove the implant, it shouldn't take long.” He Clamped my arm in place and injected me with something from a gun-like device. Within a minute my arm was numb to the core and I couldn’t move my fingers.  
It’s a strange thing to watch someone prise open a part of you and pull bits out with tweezers. I watched carefully. It was a beautifully simple device, attached to the main nerve and tendon. It was obviously fried though. One too many shocks had broken it utterly. There as more skin left under the cuff than I realised and it looked deathy pale compared to the rest of me. The surgeon lay careful layers of artificial skin over the opening in my wrist and attached it with some kind of laser that I’d love to look at with more detail.   
He covered the whole area in Bacta gel and wrapped it in bandages before helping me put it in a sling that he told me to wear until I got feeling back in my arm. I asked to keep the cuff and he shrugged before giving it to me.   
A few swipes on his datapad later and I was being ushered back out into the hall. The door closed behind me and I stood there a moment, trying to think felt hard. I’d pushed myself too far it seemed. My stomach rumbled.  
At least that dealt with what to do next. I flagged down a passing trooper and got directions to the canteen.   
I was fantasising about eating a whole bowl of something hot and filling when a set of troopers in red armour stepped out of a side hall and stopped me.  
“You, Slave. Come with us, the Supreme Leader Demands your presence.” One ordered and They took up formation around me.   
I was frogmarched through the ship, up a lift and through a labyrinth of hallways to a huge set of doors. I knew then that this was no hollo chamber but a throne room. I swallowed as the door opened and I was taken inside.  
Damn this guy loves red.  
The wall behind him was red the troopers (his personal guard I suppose) were red and the accents on everything were red. What wasn’t red was black, dramatic but it felt like he was trying a bit too hard to be menacing.  
I threw my shield up instantly as he looked at me from his throne on a raised dais in the middle of the room. He was tall, taller than I’d imagined, and wearing some kind of gold robes. He was twisted and malformed but gave off an aura that felt wrong. I wanted to run from him but what would be the point.  
“Ah, X5. I’m glad to see that my investment survived.” He said as I was deposited in front of him. The troopers retreated to the edges with their comrades but I could feel their eyes on me.   
“Yes, sir.” I replied carefully. Feet together, back straight, eyes forward. I focused on the top of his throne.  
“But it seems I have been negligent. The security device in your arm was activated.” He was leaning back in the chair, fingers of one hand touching his chin.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied quickly.  
“I see you have already had it seen to.” He was playing with me. I had to hold my tongue.  
“Yes, sir.” I held out the fried device and with a gesture it flew from my fingers to hand in his hand.  
“Fascinating. I shall have to devise some other way of keeping you aboard.” He chuckled.   
How odd that it never occurred to me that I could now leave. Unfortunately if you wanted me to take a ship apart and put it back together more efficiently I’m your woman. Flying the ship was another matter. No escape.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied and he put aside the broken thing. He moved to speak but the doors opened behind me and I heard boots on the reflective black floor.  
“Ah, General Hux. I assume you are here to deliver some kind of convoluted explanation for this farce.” Snoke’s voice was sharp and I winced on his behalf.  
I kept my eyes on the throne but knew he was standing nearby.  
“A farce indeed, Supreme Leader. Ren’s vendetta against his family has cost us dearly. He delayed efforts to combat the intruders by insisting he face them himself.” I have to say, tense as he was, it was good to hear his voice. “That and the traitor’s knowledge of the base led to this destruction.”  
“I find myself wondering how they knew so much. Tell me X5,” I twitched when he returned his attention to me. “How close were you to FN2187?”  
“I-” I stuttered. “I was friends with him.”  
“Truely? How much did you tell him of your work?” Snoke sat forwards and I began to tremble. I could feel him pushing at my shields, worming his way into my mind.  
“I- I-” I stuttered, tears pricking my eyes.  
“Well lets see shall we?” He said and raised his hand from the armrest. I floated into the air unable to move or speak.  
My shields fell under the onslaught and he was in. It hurt. Ren’s intrusion was a loving kiss by comparison. Every nerve ending shrieked and I could feel my body contorting as I desperately tried to curl up defensively.  
He rifled through my mind but amongst the panic and the hurt I could see a way out a unstable but viable escape. He wasn’t looking at things randomly but following my thought streams. If he looked at a memory with Ren it led to another, thoughts tend to flow that way don’t they? One thing reminds you of another. I could control this if I concentrated.  
I did, and by the stars it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I pulled my thoughts away and focused on Ren. Snoke got an elongated show of every illicit encounter we;d had. Every kiss, every thrust, every gasp and moan. I twisted my mind to make it seem like I was obsessed by Ren, my libido totally focused on him.   
I could feel the disgust rolling off him (disgust by the way is snot green and slimy) as he searched for what he wanted.   
He saw what I chose to show him. He saw me head to the prison block, seemingly in search of Ren and be captured by Rey. I did my best to change her in my mind, make her more beautiful, more vivid than my self image. I wanted him to assume I hated her, was jealous of her. He saw me being taken through the base by her at blaster point. He saw me be threatened by Han who I looked at with confusion and saw me forced to tell them how to set the charges. I made it seem I was hyper-focused on Ren during his confrontation on the bridge and cheered him on. I managed to skip over my experience with the force and push past helping Rey get Eight-Seven, Finn, aboard the ship and straight to dragging Ren out of the woods.   
He let me go and I fell on my back with a thud. I was dazed and I could feel a trickle of something warm from both ears and running down my face. My vision was blurred and I was breathing as if I’d run for hours without rest. I couldn’t command my limbs and lay gasping like a fish out of water.  
“Well it seems X5 had something to do with the attack.” Snoke chuckled. “Your desires got you in trouble there didn’t they, girl?”  
“Sir?” I heard Hux speak but I couldn’t see him.  
“She went seeking Ren for one of their sordid little meetings and ran straight into the rebels. To her credit she resisted but then showed them how to destroy her invention.” I could hear him tutting. “Get her out of here.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least the day ended better
> 
> **the return of the smut**

At his order two of the Scarlet clad troopers came and, taking one arm each, dragged me across the floor and out of the chamber. Once outside one hoisted me up onto his shoulder and began to walk, not caring how rough he was with me.  
I closed my eyes, willing my limbs to move but I was so tired, I wanted to sleep for a thousand years.  
They took me to a large room filled with bunk beds and deposited me onto one so hard I bounced then left me there. I was on a bottom bunk, staring lifelessly up at the bed above. Not much of a view.  
Slowly I regained myself and sat up. There were streams of dried blood running from both of my ears, my nose and one of my eyes. I was in filthy clothes that still smelled of smoke from the forest I was starving, desperately thirsty and my wrist itched under the dressing.  
In all I was as low as I’d ever felt.   
But it worked. I’d directed the stream of my thoughts and warped them to be what I wanted that bastard to see. It was like overworking a muscle that was rarely used but it did what I needed.   
I laughed softly and slumped against the bedpost. I must have passed out like that or just blinked for a long time. I twitched, realising someone was shouting at me.  
“X5! Get up this instant!” I opened my eyes to see General Hux stood in front of me, face red with anger. I tried to move but failed. He lunged forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me roughly upwards to stand in front of him. “Get up, I said! How dare you disobey a direct order!” He snapped.  
“Sorry, sir.” I managed to say but my words were slurred and I was unsteady on my feet.   
There were people all around us. The room I was in was obviously a quickly constructed refugee area. Everyone was somewhat familiar from Starkiller and all looked disheveled. They were looking at us with interest.   
“Follow.” He ordered and turned on his heel to march out. He was so fast, I simply couldn’t keep up, I stumbled after him as best I could. I could feel the eyes of the people around me, pity on their faces. That spurred me on. If they weren’t going to help, let them shove their pity where the sun doesn’t shine.  
I straightened and headed off after him. As I followed I could see he too wasn’t looking his best, his uniform was coated in ashes and other dirt and his usually carefully combed hair was somewhat mussed, as if he’d tried to fix it with his fingers.   
We walked for what felt like hours until reaching a section of the ship that was empty. I hadn’t looked at the signs, I was too sluggish to note them. Hux turned and marched towards me, pushing me back into an alcove. I leaned against the wall and waited for whatever he intended to do.   
“How could you be so monumentally stupid!” He hissed. He didn’t tower over me but stood back with his arms crossed. “What did you think you were doing?”  
“What did Snoke tell you?” I asked. I barely recognised my voice.  
“Some tosh about you being obsessed with Ren, seeking him out and getting captured. I don’t know how you did it but he’s pretty convinced you’re in love with Ren.” He didn’t seem able to look directly at me. “Whatever happened Starkiller is gone, and he’s laying the blame on you.”  
That hit hard. I’d worked day and night for months to make that damned weapon work. To be told that I was to blame for it being destroyed, it was too much. The day had been too much. Something hit me in the way he was acting and I began to cry. Not softly either, great big blubbering sobs.  
“I’m sorry!” I managed to say as he finally looked at me, this time in shock. “I didn’t- I couldn’t stop it! Now it’s gone! All gone!” I hid my face in my hands and had to really force myself to stay upright. “My work and the base and my home and… Millicent!” I realised all at once that the beautiful creature that I’d petted might now be dead and that just made me more hysterical.  
“X5. Stop.” Hux said, his voice was softer now but I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. “X5. Xia.” He tried to coax me to take my hands off my face but I wouldn’t. He rabed my arms firmlyand prysed them away, forcing me to look at him. “Millicent is fine. I got her out of harm's way as quickly as I could. I wish I could have done the same for you.”  
I sob a few more times then get a hold of myself.  
He pulls me out of the alcove and looking carefully around takes me by the arm and leads me to a set of doors, he puts in a code and they open. These rooms are nowhere as comfortable and homey as what he had on Starkiller but these are still undoubtedly his rooms.  
Millicent hops up on the sleek metal counter and mews at us. The kitchen is metal, the floor is metal, the sofa is leather and shiny. A far cry from the softness that she was used to I'm sure. I reached out my hand and she butted it gently. Hux grabbed a towel from the side and wet it at the sink before returning to me. He washes my face clean of tears and blood, I’m too tired to stop him.  
“I have a fresher here, take a shower then rest. I’ll be back in a few hours. Ren is still unconscious and I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’ve put you in an airlock and flushed you into space.” He says when he finishes. I laugh at his remark and he smiles before backing up and turning away.  
He quickly leaves, the door snapping shut behind him. I sigh and look around me.  
I do as he asks and wash myself, careful to keep the bandage dry. The water is cold, not so easy to heat in space, but I’m glad to be clean. The soaps are generic but work. I wrap a fluffy towel around myself and pick up my clothes. They are simply too filthy to even consider putting back on. I wash my underwear in the sink and lay them out to dry for a while. He said he would be hours so I feel safe to explore.   
There’s not much here. Milicent follows me of course, watching my every move. The hollo of the older woman is here, as is a handful of his books, a great number of datapads scattered about and… wait. There on the end of the sofa. Bundled into a bag something purple and familiar is waiting for me. My blanket!  
I pull it out finding his own similar one in there with it. I hug my own to my chest, breathing in its familiar smell. I almost started crying again. Yes, I know it’s just a blanket but Its been a long damn day. My stomach rumbles in agreement.  
I sneak a look in the kitchenette and find it’s fully stocked. Guilty I opt for some plain toast with butter. It’s simple but it doesn’t feel right having anything else. I clean up after myself so it’s like I was never there. I go into automatic, tidying his few belongings, putting the hollo in pride of place and even draping his blanket over the end of his bed, smoothing it over the drab grey sheets. Milicent instantly jumps up on it and starts to knead furiously, purring like a freighter engine. I use the bag he had the blankets in to stuff my filthy clothes in and pull on the still damp underwear.   
I hang up the towel and wrap my blanket around myself instead, that should keep me decent enough till I can borrow some clothes or have a droid bring some to me.   
Final ounces of energy expended, I lay down on the sofa, glad on the warm wool keeping my skin separate from the cold leather, and fall asleep.  
“Xia.” He shakes me gently and I open one eye cautiously. Being woken up hasn’t gone well for me lately. It’s just him, he seems amused by me bundled up on his sofa, this was becoming a habit. I grunt at him and he chuckles. “It’s okay, I was just seeing if you need anything.” I shake my head and bury it back under the blanket. “Are you sure? I was about to have dinner.” My stomach roars at me and I huff before sitting up. Forgetting I’m only in my underwear. He blushes and turns around before I scramble to pull the blanket back up.   
“Oops! Sorry about that.” I say and he gets up and disappears into his bedroom for a moment, he returns with one of his shirts, freshly pressed. He hands it to me then turns around.  
I obligingly pull it on, it’s way too big on me, hanging about halfway to my knees. I laugh at myself.  
“I must look ridiculous!” I say as he turns around. “Like a little girl in her big brother’s clothes!”  
“Adorable.” He agrees while I roll the arms up to my elbows to stop them flapping around my wrists. “Dinner?” He points to the austere dining table and I enthusiastically take a seat.  
Dinner is simple but very welcome. Some kind of stew with thick chewy bread. While we eat he asks me about what happened the previous day. I try my best to explain, he’s intrigued by this new sense of mine but doesn’t press me for details.  
“I was very glad to find out you’d survived.” He said sheepishly. “I’d heard you were down in the battery when the explosives were set off. I feared the worst.”  
“Sorry to worry you, Armitage.” I replied and he turned away to have a sip of his drink. I stood to take the bowls to the sink and rinse them.  
“Why didn’t you come and find me when you woke up?” He turned in his seat to ask me.  
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I was in a lot of pain.” I replied, laying the bowls to dry and turning around. He was right behind me, I hadn’t heard him move.  
“Apologies, of course you needed to get help first. Just-” He took my hand, the one partially covered by bandages and runs his thumb over my knuckles gently. “Don’t scare me like that, okay?”   
He’s stood so close to me and my heart is hammering against my ribs, yet I feel safe. I look up into his face.  
“Armitage, I-” I say, my voice a whisper. I can’t say anything, I’m overwhelmed.  
He leans down, slowly pausing to give me a chance to move, to reject him but I lean up into him and our lips meet.  
We stay there, kissing slowly, gently. He’s firm but not harsh, as if at any moment he expects me to bolt like a frightened animal. I step a little closer and he lets go of my hand to cup my face tenderly, I put my hand on his chest and feel his own heart thrumming against my palm like a bird in a cage.  
He gets bolder the longer I stay here burying his hand in my air and wrapping his other arm around my waist to pull me against him, dominant but not overpowering. I moan against his mouth and open my lips to him, letting him deepen the kiss.  
I explore him with my hands running one through his hair and finding an untucked part of his shirt sliding my hand underneath to the skin of his back. He jolts slightly at the feel of my skin on his but does not push me further. He continues to kiss me as if he’d be happy with just this, forever.  
At last he pulls away, heavy lidded eyes looking down at me with wonder. We head to the sofa and I fold myself into his arms to resume the kiss.  
It takes time but he starts to explore me as I had him. Running his fingers up and down my back.  
After what feels like a lifetime he finds my chest, I gasp softly as he cups one breast and massages it, rolling his thumb over my nipple through the shirt.   
I begin to unbutton the one he is wearing and while I fumble a little it’s soon open so I can touch his lean chest. He is not muscular but there’s a strength to him that feels welcoming. I experimentally run my nails over his skin, testing what feels good. He growls softly, okay he definitely likes that.   
“It’s not fair.” He breathes, breaking the kiss to look at me. “You’re still buttoned up.” I bite my lip and start to undo the buttons, he watches, uttery rapt as my skin is revealed. “Beautiful.” A whisper before claiming my lips again, snaking an arm around my waist to pull me closer.  
His lips leave mine to trail open mouthed kisses along my jaw and onto my neck, I’m panting and gasp his name as he finds a sensitive spot just as he begins to investigate my bare chest.   
He’s leaning over me now, pressing me into the sofa. I wrap my arms around him, gripping his hair gently with one hand and pulling ever so slightly. His hips stutter and he pulls back to look in my face.  
“If you keep doing that, I might not be able to stop.” He pants, pupils blown with desire.  
“Don’t stop.” I reply, my voice is breathy, more seductive than I’d ever known it to be.  
He captures my lips again but pulls me against him, sweeping my legs up and standing to carry me to the bed.   
He lays me down and lays next to me to resume his slow, sweet torture. I’m soon pushing my thighs together for friction while he unhurriedly kisses my collarbones and teases my nipples with his hands. When at last his mouth descends on one warm bud I nearly fall apart right there. He hums softly and I’m paying too much attention to his mouth that I don’t notice his hand slithering over my stomach and around my thigh. He kneads the skin there and seems to drink in the noises I’m making. With every move of his hand his fingers graze the line of my underwear and it’s slowly driving me mad.  
He bites down lightly on one of my nipples and my own hips lift in response. He seems pleased with this and does it twice more before a whine in my throat calls him back up to kiss me again. Our tongues dance together and he takes the opportunity to remove his hand from my thigh and to place it innocently flat on my stomach, just above the hem of my underwear.   
He’s teasing me I know, I buck my hips to try and convince him to touch me more intimately but he just continues to kiss me until my head swims. I lase my fingers with his and move his hand myself, over my underwear to where I want him to be. I feel him smile against me at my reaction to him touching me there.   
He circles the small bundle of nerves and rubs along my aching lips, I’m soaking for him and he knows it. I mewl at him and grind against his hand while he pleasures me, my gasp of shock devolves into a growl as he pushes aside the thin fabric to sink one long finger into me.   
He pulls away a few inches, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and looks intensely into my eyes as he slides his finger slowly in and out, rubbing my clit with his thumb and crooking his finger to touch that sweet spot inside that made me see sparks.   
All I could do was clutch at him as leisurely stoked my pleasure up and up. I lifted my knees to give him better access and he began to kiss my neck again.  
I grabbed at his back, pulling at the shirt still draped over his shoulders as I came to a shuddering, knee knocking, toe curling climax. Gasping out his name. When I regained control of myself I grabbed at his kin and kissed him forcefully pulling at the waistline of his trousers.  
“Not fair.” I gasped between kisses. “You still have these.” He sat up and, keeping eye contact with me, took his time unbuckling his belt and pulling off his slacks. His i  
underwear was definitely having issues containing him and I gripped at the elastic waistband to pull them down, revealing his hardness to me.   
I wanted him then and there but he still wanted to take his time. He lifted my legs to remove my underwear and shrugged off his shirt. I ran my fingers over the dappling of red-gold hair that led to his waist. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, trying to pull him down on top of me but he resisted, kissing me while he ran his hands over my legs, settling them behind my knees and lifting them, settling himself between them.   
He released one to push me down on my back and began to kiss up the inside of my thigh. I squirmed under him in anticipation but he put one hand flat on my stomach to hold me there. When his mouth met my core I must have lifted off the bed for a moment.   
The sight of his messy ginger head buried at the apex of my legs, licking sucking and thrusting his tounge into me was the most erotic thing I have ever seen. I buried one hand in his hair pulling slightly. He let go of my stomach and wrapped both arms around my legs, attacking me with his mouth in a way no man ever had.   
I climaxed again, writhing and gasping his name. He carefully drew out my pleasure until I fell back onto the pillows. He crawled up my body until he was lined up with my entrance nudging me. To his surprise I wrapped my arms around him, locking his lips with mine and pulling him down on top of me, pulling him deep into my body.   
We lay like that a moment, kissing deeply while he twined his fingers with mine. He was letting my body relax and I was grateful as I was overstimulated and needed to come down a little.   
He pulled his head back and studied my face closely. For his part he looked sublime; his hair was a mess and his skin was flushed but his eyes almost glowed with the intensity of his gaze.  
“What is it?” I asked softly.  
“You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He said simply, now tell me who wouldn’t melt a bit at that? I pulled him back for another kiss and as our lips met he began to move his hips to begin a slow, steady rhythm against me.  
It wasn’t too long before I was a gasping writhing mess beneath him. He lifted one of my legs to deepen his thrusts and I saw stars. I let out a stream of praise and desperate pleas for him not to stop. I scored his back with my nails and kissed every inch of him I could reach.  
At last his rhythm began to falter and become more urgent. I was close behind him as he chased his own end. He dropped my leg and pulled me close, kissing me deeply as he thrust against me and we groaned in unison as I came, hard and he fell over that precipice straight after me.   
We lay tangled together, kissing and caressing each other until we regained our senses.   
“Armitage.” I said as he moved to climb off me.  
“Yes?” His boyish grin suited him far better than the stern look he’d had when we met.  
“Thank you.” I said and he lifted my hand to kiss the back of it tenderly before rolling off and pulling the covers over us both. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his chest so he was curled around me.   
“Goodnight.” He said softly and kissed my shoulder. I realised I was still wearing his shirt and giggled a little at that.  
“Goodnight.” I replied and let sleep take me.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff, a bit of smut

He was angry. He was apocalyptically angry.   
I didn’t realise I was awake until I heard Armitage desperately trying to calm me. I’d reacted to the surge of emotion I’d felt in my sleep, thrashing and crying out.  
I sat up, eyes wide, trying to determine where the anger was coming from.  
Ren. He was awake and by rights his fury should have shaken the ship. He wasn’t looking for me, wasn’t even thinking about me. He was thinking about her, the girl, Rey.   
“It's alright, you’re safe. What’s wrong?” Armitage was crouched in front of me, still naked and wonderful in the dim light from the stars outside.   
“Ren. He’s awake and he’s angry. It hurts.” I gasped, it felt like my lungs were in a vice. I tried to pull away from his feelings but it was hard, I was being pulled towards him like a black hole.  
Armitage wrapped his arms around me, kneeling so my head was against his chest.  
“Focus on me. Listen to my heartbeat and focus on me, Xia.” He ordered and I closed my eyes to listen.  
It took longer than I would like but my attention shifted to him. His heart beating in my ear, warm skin on mine, his breathing, his smell. I could feel his mind. Worry, a cloying pale blue mist, was dominant but there were flashes of other thoughts like lightning in a thundercloud. Anger at Ren, at Snoke, fear of my new abilities, the desire to protect me and a sputtering spark of something bright that never lasted long enough for me to identify.   
I calmed and relaxed in his embrace. He sat back so he could face me easily, cupping my face and searching it carefully.  
“We shouldn’t have done this.” I said. “If he ever finds out he’ll tear us both apart. I-” He touched the pad of his thumb on my lips to stop me.  
“No matter what happens. Even if all we ever have is this night together it will still be worth it. Do you understand?” He said, staring into my eyes. “Even if he throws me in an airlock tomorrow it was worth it.” He smiled, trying to make a dark joke, like always. “Got it?”  
“Yes.” I said and he leant down to kiss me.   
It was wonderful for a moment or two before that niggling sensation began in the back of my head. I pulled away from the kiss with an angry sigh and put up my shield.  
“Is he looking for you?” He asked, brushing some stray hair out of my face.  
“Yes.” I said tersely.   
“Well let’s enjoy the time we have.” He said and pushed me onto my back so suddenly I squeaked. His lips were on mine, the gentleness was gone, now there as desperation, a fiery passionate need and I responded in kind.   
He was hard against my stomach and was about to shift to enter me but I surprised him by pushing him hard so he fell on his back. I straddled him and took his hands, guiding them to my hips and lowering myself onto him. The look of surprise on his face melted into joy and then pleasure as I began to ride him.   
I put my hands on his chest for balance as I rose and fell over him. He didn’t push me or try and control my movements, in fact he spurred me on. He reached for my breasts and drew gasps from me as he kneaded and rolled my nipples in his fingers.   
When I started to come close to my climax he snuck a hand between my thighs and began to run circles around my clit, heightening my pleasure till I came, crying his name. I slumped over him and he held me, kissing my neck and letting me come back to myself. When I did I kissed him hard, rolling my hips to make him growl.   
“I need-” I began but he thrust upwards into me making me lose my words.  
“What do you need?” He nipped at my ear, starting a rhythm. I had to stop him and pull him to look at me as he was still seated inside me.  
“I need you to fuck me, Armitage.” I managed and he responded immediately. He sat up and pulled out of me, pulling me firmly to kneel in front of him, facing away. He pushed on my back till I was on my hands and knees and slid his hardness into me. He thrusted once or twice, making me mewl and clutch at the covers but then wrapped his arms around my waist to hoist me up, fish with his chest. I turned my head to kiss him and he trapped me there, one arm over my chest, clutching my breast and pinning me there. The other around my hips and pushing between my legs to touch me there.  
“Armitage!” I cried as he began to thrust into me, all the while rubbing at my most sensitive spot. It was intense and utterly amazing. I felt helpless yet safe and protected. He was rough, his thrusts were hard and I could hear him grunting and panting as he moved and it felt amazing. His name left my lips like a prayer, over and over. He played my body like a fine instrument. I came in his arms again before he joined me and we tumbled over, his softening member still inside me as he kissed my neck and shoulders and pulled me to him.  
I reached for his hand and linked my fingers with his.  
I’ve never felt so wanted, cherished, needed.  
He’s right. It’s worth it.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a hard knock life

He’s gone when I wake, a cup of still warm coffee by the side of the bed and a note telling me what I need to do. He’s had my uniform cleaned and it’s sat, carefully folded, on the sofa, I pull it on and head out as instructed.   
I reach the briefing room and wait by the wall. It’s a large conference room with a large amount of chairs around the table but all of the officers and senior staff from Starkiller are expected so I don’t sit. They appear slowly, on ones and twos, barely offering me a glance. Soon the room is full and feels warm from so many bodies. I’m glad I stayed by a vent.  
Armitage arrives after we’ve waited for a few minutes and the conversations in the room cease immediately.   
“This meeting is to discuss the destruction of Starkiller base. Only those of sufficient rank or importance need be here.” He intoned then stepped up to the head of the table and pressed a button. A hollo of the remains of Starkiller flickered into life above the table. It was in pieces, atmosphere gone, just hunks of rock and metal drifting through space.  
“Supreme Leader Snoke has ordered a team of workers to the remains to salvage what we can. At present it is estimated that 67% of the base’s materials can be removed and reused. Mutations, ships, metals and other materials.” He said clearly and simply, his eyes on the hollo, not the people in front of him. “Anyone thinking of going out to find personal belongings is forbidden to do so.” A ripple through the room at that. Everyone lost something, even Armitage lost most of his books. “Anyone with a problem with that order need to take it up with the Supreme Leader.” The muttering died down.  
“How did they know how to attack?” A voice piped up. Another seconded.  
“A group of rebels led by former trooper, FN2187, infiltrated the base and forced personnel to lower the shields.” He explained, his back was straight and his hands tucked neatly behind him. A different man than the one I’d shared a bed with.   
“And how did they know what to aim for?” Another voice piped up. “Phasma lowered the shields, I saw her being dragged out of the garbage chute-” a few stifled giggles at that “But how did they know what to aim at?”  
I opened my mouth but thought better of it. Despite my judgement all eyes turned on me.  
“You! Slave girl! You told them, didn’t you? Traitor!” the spiteful words came from someone I couldn’t see.  
“X5 has been exonerated by Snoke. She was threatened but the rebels already targeted the oscillators as our weak point.” Armitage corrected. I hung my head.  
“Exonerated? I’ll bet she’s fucking Snoke as well.” The nasty comment was meant as a whisper but I heard it clearly. I bit my tongue.  
“Moving on, there will be new assignments sent out to you in the next hour. Some of you will remain here aboard the Supremacy, others will be sent to other ships and bases with appropriate orders. At present our highest priority is to recover from this attack and continue our pursuit of the Rebels.” There was another ripple at the idea of being reassigned. Many people had served on Starkiller for years, the idea of being split up was galling. “If there are no further questions then this meeting is adjourned.”   
He stepped back and everyone filled out. I left as soon as I could and headed towards engineering. I wondered where I would be assigned, I’d been told to wait with the engineers for now.  
“Excuse me, X5.” A tall sleek black droid approached me. He moved smoothly and his casing was so clean it mirrored the world around him. I stopped and waited. “Commander Ren requires your presence. He is currently in the medical suite. Do you require directions?”  
Damn. Had to catch up to me eventually.  
“Uhh… no. I think I know the way.” I replied. The doid saluted and headed on its way.  
I only took one wrong turning, so found my way back relatively easily. I changed my own bandages this morning, my new skin looked like it was healing well so I’d hoped to stay away from here.   
It was quieter today. All the beds were full but there was no one moaning on the floor or dying in the corner. A nurse pointed me to the right room and I hesitated before knocking. I needn't have bothered as it opened immediately.  
Ren looked terrible. Stripped to the waist and lying in a bed he looked like he’d melt steel if he touched it he was so angry at the universe.  
“X5.” His voice was steady. I came in and the door shut. The attack had left him with a gash starting below his right eye and ending halfway down his chest. The wound had been treated and covered with a black medical mesh. He would be fine but for a scar. The doctors here could halt the scarring but I doubted he’d let them. Probably wanted to scar.  
“I’m relieved to see you are on the mend, sir.” I said, standing as Armitage would.   
“I understand I have you to thank. You carried me from the woods to safety.” He didn’t comment on the ‘sir’. I often called him that rather than his name.  
“Yes, sir.” I replied, trying not to stare at the wound or his bare chest, or him at all actually. My shields were up and I could feel him prodding them.  
“Well then, you have my thanks. However, we have something else to discuss.” He gestured for me to come closer. “I have been in contact with the Supreme Leader.” I took a step forwards as he spoke.   
“He questioned me about the events at Starkiller.” I said blandly. ‘Questioned’ is not the right word, ‘mind-rape’ is closer.  
“I’ve been told you got involved after seeking me out and being accosted by the scavenger.” He was staring at me, I could feel him pressing harder against my mind. I couldn’t keep Snoke out, but he damn well wasn’t getting into my head. I’d stick a lightsaber up my nose and turn it on before I let him rummage through my thoughts again. I chose not to answer.  
“And you were present during my altercation with the smuggler.” He continued. Smuggler? He was your father, you arse. Granted, I’d gladly chop my own father into bits and feed him to a TaunTaun, I’d at least acknowledge it was him.   
“Yes, sir.” I said and he sighed.  
“I have been… advised that we should end our association now, X5. It seems that your desires for me have become unhealthy.” He looked uncomfortable. Was he breaking up with me? I forced myself to look upset, better to play the fool here.  
“As you say.” I look at the floor.  
“I am aware that you were resistant to our relationship but now that you seem to have embraced it I hope it’s not too hurtful that its ending.” He said. It was like he was reading a script. I’ve been broken up with, many times. It’s usually more heated than this, or more sad. This was like he was reading lines from inside his head.  
I carefully let my awareness focus on him. Could he feel it the way I felt him?  
“I’m sure I’ll survive sir. Is that all?” I goaded him. There it was, a flare of anger laced with regret.  
“You’ll survive?” He snapped. Of course he wasn’t sincere at all. He’d been ordered to stop having sex with me. An unexpected but welcome outcome.   
“Yes, sir. If the Supreme Leader believes we should no longer be together it’s probably for the best. I was becoming a distraction after all.” I said and he pulled back on his blank mask. “It hurts but I’ll be strong.” I gave him a sad smile. Another flare of emotion. Sadness, cold and heavy, ebbing out of him. He didn’t want to give me up, I was his comfort blanket and his punching bag.   
“May I go? I need to check on my new assignments.” I step back, bowing my head slightly.  
“You are dismissed, X5.” He says and I turn away, stepping out of the door. The second it shut I began to run. As if on cue I heard things being hurled around his room. A porter came quickly but I stopped him shaking my head.  
“Wait till its quiet for at least ten minutes.” I advise. He nods, eyes wide.  
I head straight to engineering, praying no one else stops me on the way. I get my wish and enter the huge workshop. I ask a passing worker if there’s a spare workstation and she points me to one.  
I log in to find my new assignment waiting. I was to work on the ‘Harbinger’, a Star Destroyer that was tasked with the Starkiller cleanup operation. I was to report to a transfer shuttle in an hour's time and my new position was to aid in the dismantling of anything that could be scavenged from the wreckage of the base.   
Grunt work. Great.  
I logged out and headed off to find the hanger where my transfer shuttle would be. I was numb. On one hand it was upsetting to be separated from Armitage, but of course that relationship couldn’t last. He had a reputation to uphold and now, of course, without my association to Ren I was just a slave girl who knew her way around an engine. On the other hand this was a chance for a fresh start, away from Ren, Snoke and the others.   
I had to remind myself I was just a slave, I’d had delusions of grandeur when they picked my design but in the end I’d always return to being what I was.   
I was directed aboard the shuttle by a helpful trooper, I passed Phasma on my way and nodded to her when she acknowledged me. I climbed on and sat down. There were a number of lower ranking workers aboard, some clutching bundles of belongings they’d managed to grab before evacuation. Others like me had nothing but the clothes on their back.  
The ramp closed and the shuttle lifted up and headed out to open space. It was a short ride, barely ten minutes before I was being herded off the ship and told to join one of the lines aboard the Harbinger. She was a large ship, though small in comparison to the city sized Supremacy, and it looked like she was one of the older ships in the fleet.  
I dutifully waited my turn and on reaching the front was confronted by an irritable administrator in a grey jacket, his thinning hair slicked back over his head. He peered at me over his silver rimmed glasses.  
“Designation?” He demanded.  
“X5.” I replied and he began to type into the computer in front of him.  
“X5- what?” He spat not looking at me.   
“Just X5, sir.” I said and he grumbled a moment before typing furiously. A small printer next to him hummed to life and spat out a slip of paper which he thrust at me.  
“Bunk assignment and commanding officer.” He said as I took it. He was already looking at the next person in line. “Next!” He snapped and I moved away.  
I followed the directions given by another administrator and headed off to find my bunk. By the time I found it I felt I’d walked for days. I was down in the bowels of the ship, between the Main Battery and Sanitation. I’d been given a single berth room which was a blessing but when I opened the door I knew why, another person couldn’t possibly fit in there with me.  
There was a single bunk suspended above a desk and that was it. There were drawers and a cupboard for my clothes, some rather worn sheets and a flat pillow and a tiny computer screen. The bunk was only just big enough for me to lay flat in if I tried.   
There was no fresher, I’d have to use the shared one down the hall.  
I opened a drawer experimentally and found it was deeper than expected, flowing further into the wall than it looked. It was already full of my new uniform; jumpsuits and overalls in wonderfully flattering orange shades. I’d been issued protective footwear as well at least.   
I logged into the computer and found my assignment details. I was to report to cargo bay 3 at 0600 hours tomorrow morning. No other messages.  
I say for a moment then let impulse drive me. I sent a message, possibly the most carefully worded one I ever have. Who knew who read these before they arrived.

General Hux,

I have been reassigned to the ‘Harbinger’ indefinitely in order to aid in retrieving vital parts from the remains of Starkiller Base.  
Thank you for your cooperation during our time working together.  
It is unfortunate that it ended in this fashion. If you require my assistance in any matters please do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

X5

I hit send and logged off immediately. It seemed terse but it was the easiest way I could think of to tell him where I was. To anyone else it would seem innocent, or at worst a weaseling attempt to return to my former status. Neither was a crime.   
I left my cupboard of a room and followed the signage to the canteen. I was given a bowl of nutrient paste and a glass of water. Life in space was hard, I guess they saved the good stuff for the officers. Still, I’d learned long ago not to be picky about food, you never knew when someone would take it away.   
No one sat with me but I did stick out a bit as I was still in the low ranking officers clothing, I might have better luck once I wore more ordinary things.   
I cleaned my bowl and headed off to take a shower. I grabbed a towel from my room, it was rough and very old by the feel of it, and headed for the shower room.  
It was as you’d expect, split into male a female, white tiles, rows of lockers and benches and a long row of showers that were in no way separated from each other. I changed in the corner and stepped under the spray, lukewarm but pleasant. I scrubbed quickly with the abrasive soap and got out to dry myself.   
I’d been alone when I entered but a few other women were there now, getting undressed. I stayed away from them as I dried off and redressed. Despite this I felt their eyes on me. My scars set be apart from them instantly.  
“You're her aren't you?” Said one tall woman with long blonde hair. “The slave girl?”  
I turned and assessed them. There were four women, all about five years older than me. The blonde was the tallest and seemed to be the spokesperson for them.   
“Yes, I am X5.” I said, trying to be friendly.  
“I heard you designed the Starkiller.” One of the shorter women piped up, she had big brown eyes and full hips.  
“Just part of it.” I replied.  
“I heard you saved Kylo Ren from rebels.” Another spoke, she was thin with long black hair. I opened my mouth to speak but the last woman butted in.  
“I heard you’re fucking him.” She was blonde as well but hers was darker, her eyes were blue and her smile wicked.   
“We broke up.” I said and they looked scandalized. No use denying the truth.  
They scared off to wash while I gathered my things and headed back to my room.   
I could have banged my head on the wall. Different ship, same story.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New life, new chance

Armitage responded to my message overnight. Just one word ‘acknowledged.’   
That was that then.  
I got up, dressed, pumped down my nutrient paste and headed for work. The Harbinger was in orbit around a nearby planetoid and junker ships were gathering bits of the debris that was Starkiller, dragging them back to the Cargo bay to be inspected and dissected.   
My new supervisor, Lieutenant Grant, was a grumpy old man who seemed to just enjoy belittling people. It was a simple job. The junker would dump a section of machinery etc and we’d take it apart and split the parts into various mineral bins. One for durasteel, another for copper etc. There were ten of us in this bay and we worked on different areas. Grant treated us all like trash, but me, oh boy, he really hated me.   
He would berate me over anything and everything. I wasn’t sure why he hated me so much but he did me a favor really. The other workers saw how he treated me and began to see me as one of them.  
Each breakfast and dinner saw more people willing to sit with me. I was asked tentative questions about Starkiller and for the most part I was honest. One young woman even pulled me aside one day to ask what sex with Ren had been like. I laughed and told her it was nothing like she was imagining.   
Weeks flew past and the sections of the base were whittled away. The bins of metal and other materials were always empty when we started our shift and full when we left. Apart from one. Domovite. A rare element used in weapons manufacture. Literal tons of it had been used to create Starkiller but it had almost all melted into unusable slag during the attack.  
As time went by it was getting apparent there was pressure on Grant to find more. He was getting more and more anxious by the day. Rumor was that Snoke wanted to upgrade the whole fleet’s main weapons but couldn’t as they had no reliable source of domovite.   
For a long time I filed that under ‘not my problem’ until one evening in the canteen. Several of the guys I worked with were playing cards. One of the younger ones, roughish hairstyle and a twinkle in his eyes, started to talk about visiting the casinos in Canto Bight.  
He talked about the place like it was a paradise and the others hung on his every world. I however had worked there for a few months and knew full well that it was nowhere near as idyllic as he made it out to be.   
Canto Bight was great if you had money. If you didn’t it was a cesspool.   
I’d worked there for three months, designing, fabricating and installing a new set of security gates for the racetrack. If I concentrated I could still smell and hear the Fathiers shifting around me while I worked. I’d been rented by the owner of the track, Cameron Thrax, an ex-spice runner who made something of himself.   
I remembered he still had a lot of dirty dealings under the table including… trading domovite.   
I sat up with a start and excused myself.   
I headed to my room and logged on. After a bit of digging I found Trax was still running the racetrack. If he knew where we could get domovite I’d bet the First Order would pay a pretty penny for it.   
I sent a message to the only person I knew who might listen.

General Hux,

I know it has been some time since we have spoken but I believe I am in possession of some information that may be helpful to the First Order.  
I have been given the impression that we are currently lacking the resources available to upgrade our weapons systems. In particular we require domovite.  
I believe I know how to obtain some.  
If I am wrong please just ignore this message but I’m certain I can help acquire what is needed.

Regards,

X5

It took less than ten minutes to receive a reply.

Report to conference room 7 as soon as possible.

Hux

I was still wearing my grease covered work clothes but I practically ran to the conference room. I entered to find several of the ships ranking officers waiting, along with Grant who sneered at me. I stood to the side rather than sitting, trying to show I knew I was lower rank.  
The Captain pressed a button on the table and a hollo of Armitage appeared.  
“General.” The Captain, Lews, greeted. “Whats this about?”  
“Captain, as you are aware we are currently in the process of upgrading our fleet to follow the standard of upgrades made to our flagship. Unfortunately we are lacking in one resource, domovite.” He said, the hollow flickered.  
“Aye, sir.” The captain responded and Grant looked like a thundercloud.   
“X5.” Armitatge’s image turned to me and I stepped forward.  
“I know where we can get some.” I said, trying to sound confident. “I used to work for a man in Canto Bight, he used to deal in domovite and I doubt that’s changed.”  
“Well then, what are we waiting for, lets set up a deal.” A younger officer piped up.  
“There’s a few problems.” I admitted and stepped forward to type into the hollo projector and an image of my old master appeared. He looked much the same as ever, handsome and sly.   
“This is him, name is Trax. He only hates two things in the universe. The Rebellion and the First Order.” I explain and the officers look irritable, I can feel their distrust and anger roll over me and I have to take a breath to keep from getting pulled under.  
“So this is a dead end? Why bother us with it girl?” Grant snapped at me.  
“Because I think I can convince him to sell, he loves money more than he hates the First Order but he can’t be seen to be openly dealing with us without scaring off a lot of his contracts.” I explain and Armitage nods. “Last time anyone on Canto Bight saw me I was working for Wabb the Hutt. I can go and make the deal without him losing business.”  
“You, idiot upstart whore!” Grant snapped. “You just want to climb back out of the cesspit you’ve built yourself, You’ll take our credits and run.”  
“Lieutenant!” The Captain silenced him.  
“X5, can you make contact with this Thrax, fellow?” Armitage asked, ignoring Grant’s outburst.  
“Yes but it might take a while to catch him. He doesn't like unsolicited calls.” I explain.  
“Good, start work tracking him down as soon as possible. Dismissed” His hollo faded and I had to stop from slumping over. It had been nice to see him.  
I left the conference room before Grant to lay into me and headed straight for my room. It took hours of work but I managed to find a reliable communications link for Thrax. I sent it to Armitage and fell into bed almost immediately.   
I woke to an incessant beeping I didn’t recognise. I rolled out of bed and hit the lit button on my console. The screen lit up and there he was, Armitage, he was at his desk on The Supremacy.   
“X5.” He didn’t look phased by me being in my pajamas. “We’ve looked over the information you’ve given us and Snoke has given permission to proceed. However he does not wish you to be unsupervised. A shuttle will be prepared to bring you here where we can organise the trade easier. We have a budget and a time limit.”  
“A shuttle? When?” I asked, rubbing sleep from my eyes, a look at the clock told me it was less than an hour till I had to get up for my shift.   
“It will be ready at 0600. Make sure you are on time.” He ended the call there.  
No way I could sleep after that so I headed out for a shower and got changed. I wondered if Armitage wanted to renew our brief connection. I’d like that but of course we’d have to be discreet. I returned to my room to find a message I didn’t recognise.  
It was from an unknown source, the signal had been purposely masked and bounced between four or five comm links to keep it confidential.

Xia,

I have missed you these past months. My apologies for not contacting you sooner but I needed to make preparations for masking my messages to you.  
If Snoke knew of my affection for you no doubt he would use it against me.  
I look forward to seeing you again and if you wish it I will try and find some time for us together.  
If you no longer want that then I will accept it.  
You can reply to this message, it will not be traced.

A

I was shocked. I had assumed that he’d moved on. Prepared myself for him to be as he ever was, aloof with an undertone of dark amusement.  
This message made my heart leap into my throat.  
I typed a reply carefully.

A,

I have missed you as well. Yes, I would like to see you again.

Xia

I hit send then shut down the computer, wiping as much as I was able. It was early but I headed to the shuttle bay anyway. I spent my time watching the ships come and go before mine arrived.  
I couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bright lights ahead

The trip to the Supremacy was pretty uneventful, in fact, I slept for most of it. As did the other passengers. I realized after we took off that I’d neglected to tell Lieutenant Grant that I’d been called away. That, if nothing else, made me smile.  
When the ramp lowered after landing I was ushered off the ship and led to some temporary accommodation (little more than a bunk, some drawers, and a fresher) to stow my bag. I was told I had very little time before a meeting regarding the possible trade deal and needed to head straight there. I asked the trooper who was escorting me to take me as the Supremacy was still a daunting labyrinth.  
The conference room was already full when I arrived. I’d taken care to dress in my old uniform that aped the lower-ranking officers as well as putting my hair up so it fitted neatly under a cap. No way they’d listen if I were in my stained orange overalls.  
I saluted smartly to the room and waited for orders.  
“Hux isn’t here yet, girl, go stand over there where we don’t have to look at you.” Allegiant General Pryde snapped and did not look at me. It was the first time I’d been in a room with him though I knew of him from reports. The other men and women appeared to be of similar rank and looked at me with just as much disdain.   
I did as I was bid and stood in the corner furthest from the empty head of the table. I listened to them talk for a few moments, as it always had been Hux was just as unpopular amongst the officers as he was with the normal rank and file. I began to wonder which was the act, the stern no-nonsense man they knew or the sweeter one I saw in private.  
That thought had to be stowed away as the door opened and the man himself marched in. He acknowledged everyone but me, understandable, and sat at the head of the table.  
“I have called you all here as we have been successful at making contact with the trader, Cameron Trax. He is willing to speak with us today, Supreme Leader Snoke has ordered we all be present along with the slave X5.” He explained, looking around. Citing Snoke’s name seemed to smooth the way as they nodded. “Very well.” He pressed a button in front of him and the hollo embedded in the table lit up, showing the system connecting with the communications array in Canto Bight. After a tense moment, the screen changed to an image of my former master. He looked angry. I took a deep breath.  
“Mr Trax, I am General Hux. On Behalf of The First Order, I’d like to thank you for speaking with us today.” Armitage said carefully and Trax snorted.  
“Well, you can keep your thanks. I only answered because you mentioned an old friend of mine. You there Sparks?” He peered around looking for someone, looking for me. I stepped into his line of sight and his face lit up as it always had.  
“Hiya, you old bastard,” I said (much to the irritation of the officers around me, though I noted Armitage hiding a smile) and Trax laughed hugely.  
“Sparks! I heard you were on that monster of a space station when it fell apart! I drank to your memory.” Dramatic as always, his eyes sparkled with mischief even over the hollo.  
“Well I got out of there in time, I’ll buy you a drink one day and tell you all about it,” I replied.  
“You’ll do no such thing, I buy the drinks around here!” He laughed. Pryde coughed nearby and we both looked at him.  
“Trax, sorry hun but can we get to business please?” I say meekly, he looks annoyed but nods.  
“Domovite, yeah. I’ve got a guy that can get it to me in a day or two, how much do you need?” He directed his question at me but another officer answered before I could.  
“We need 14 and a half tonnes.” She said to him and he rolled his mouth.  
“Yeesh, I’d ask what you guys need all that for but I doubt you’d tell me.” I smiled at that.  
“Can you get it?” Pryde snapped.  
“Yes,” Trax answered after a pause. “But It’ll cost you. This stuff ain’t cheap.” He looked at Pryde like you would a small angry dog.  
“How much do you need?” Armitage asked and Trax looked at him and seemed to take his measure, liking what he saw better than the others.   
“750 a pound.” He said smoothly.  
“That’s nearly 25 million credits! This is outrageous!” Pryde exploded, standing up. “This man is a charlatan!” He continued to rage while I locked eyes with Armitage. Pryde had no idea what he was talking about.  
“Sir.” I interrupted but he continued to call Trax every insult the could (Much to Trax’s amusement) then he turned his ire on me of course.  
“And you, degenerate sex-slave. Go back to the trash heap they found you on!” He snapped.  
“Hey!” Trax spoke up, face red. “Don’t you think you ought to listen to her for just a sec?” Pryde stopped ranting and looked at me.  
“What he’s offering is near enough half the price of anyone else I can think of,” I say to him.  
“That’s right, you mouthy git. Think about that next time you mouth off at my girl here.” Trax said triumphantly as Pryde sat down.   
“You have conditions, I assume,” Armitage asked, ignoring Pryde.  
“Smart man. Conditions are easy. This is a one time deal I’m offering here, you come crawling back for more in a few months and I’ll ignore your calls. I’ll organize the shipment to be picked up in two days, money first or no deal, and it has to be picked up personally by Sparks here.” He points at me and everyone's focus shifts from him to me.   
“I’m no freighter pilot, Trax, you know that,” I say with a smile.  
“Plus we would never allow this… girl, to go off by herself with no much valuable cargo. Doubtless, she’d sell it and run off with the profit.” Pryde grumbled.  
“I’ll allow one escort. No troopers. I see one plastic bobble-headed trooper in Canto Bight and the deals off.” I had to stop a smile at his description of the ground troops. “Or you, sunshine.” He points at Pryde. “You can consider yourself banned from my town until further notice. Pryde grumbled at that but kept his mouth shut. “What about you, Firecrotch?” He turned to Armitage, I almost choked at the name he’d called him. “You seem the sort to listen when people speak before answering. What was your name? Pucks?”  
“Its Hux and I-” Trax cut him off.  
“That was it, Hux. You and Sparks come alone, no uniforms, I’ll arrange a time. Can you get here for tomorrow morning?” Trax was talking to me.  
“Yes. But-” I started but he steamrollered over me.  
“Great, I’ll sort the landing permit and send you the navpoint. See ya tomorrow!” With that, he signed off and we sat in silence for a moment.   
“Sir, I must protest!” Pryde stood up and marched over to me. “This is obviously an elaborate set up to let this idiot girl escape from The First Order.” As he spoke his spittle landed on me. I stood to attention, hands in the small of my back and eyes focused straight ahead. “She’ll kill you, first chance she gets, then run off with this Trax. Isn’t that right?” He snapped.  
“No, sir,” I replied and he grabbed the back of my head, knocking off my cap and gripping my hair. I couldn’t help but squeak as he pulled it.  
“Admit it! You fed the information needed to destroy Starkiller to the rebels and now you’re planning to abscond with millions after assassinating the General!” He roared into my ear.  
“Pryde! That’s enough! You know full well that X5 was cleared by the Supreme Leader, would you like to voice your suspicions to him?” Armitage didn’t shout, though his voice was low with menace.  
“No, sir,” Pryde replied.  
“Then I suggest you put her down and get out. All of you.” He said. Pryde didn’t so much let me go as throw me to the ground and march out, the others scurried out in his wake.  
I sat on the floor massaging my scalp as the door snapped shut. It took me a moment to realize we were alone, really alone, for the first time in months. The first time since our night together.  
“Sorry about that, sir. I could have handled it better.” I groaned as I stood up, looking around for my cap.  
“Here.” He had picked it up and was holding it out to me. I walked up to take it from him. The air felt charged, as if before an electrical storm. “Your hair’s grown out.”  
“It has been a few months,” I say with a smile.  
“I like it, it suits you better than that choppy nonsense you had before.” He smiles, a real smile from him.  
“Thank you, sir,” I say and he raises an eyebrow.  
“You needn’t bother with formalities, now we’re alone.” He said calmly.  
“Sorry! Habit!” I bite my lip.   
He takes a seat and motions me to sit next to him.  
“Tell me about Trax, what are we walking into here?” He asks and I take a breath.  
“He’s a scoundrel but a good one. His brother joined the rebellion a few years back and not long after was killed in a battle between a rebellion supply ship and a First Order Frigate. He hates both sides, the rebels for convincing him to join and The First Order for killing him.” I play with my cap as I speak, turning it in my hands and focusing on the tabletop in front of me. “I built some security gates for him, he owns and runs the fathier racing track on Canto Bight. We got talking while I was there and as you can tell he took a liking to me. He hates bluster and people who talk too much. He likes people who are outspoken and upfront.” I look up at Armitage who seems to be taking it all in. “He says ‘he’d rather get spat at in the face than stabbed in the back.’”  
“Not the worst motto.” He commented with a quirk of the corner of his mouth.  
“Oh! He feels he owes me his life. A card game went wrong and a guy pulled a blaster, I hit him with a wrench before he could fire.” I smile at the memory. “He would have bought me off Wabb there and then if he could have.”  
“I’m glad he didn’t.” It’s almost a whisper but I hear him.  
“I’m sure you could do without my blathering.” I joke but his eyes lock with mine and he leans in, as before giving me a chance to retreat, to reject him. I don’t move.  
He finds one of my hands with his and holds it tenderly as he kisses me. I open my lips to him and the kiss deepens, his tongue swirling with mine as his free hand cups the back of my head, running his fingers through my hair.   
“I have missed you, Xia.” He breathes as he releases my lips. I close my eyes as he kisses along my jaw to my ear. “Your voice, your laugh, your beautiful eyes.” He continues. “If I didn’t fear us being caught I’d lay you on this table and show you just how much I’ve missed you.” My breath caught, by the stars I wanted him to act on that thought.   
He sat back, his own cheeks flushed and eyes dark.   
“Armitage,” I whispered his name softly.  
“For now I need to make arrangements for this mission. Come to my office for 1300 hours and I’ll give you the details.” He stood up, pulling me with him and planting one last sweet kiss on my lips before leaving.  
I watched him go and stood dumb for a moment. Did that really happen? I was going to Canto Bight with him? Well it’s better than getting yelled at by Grant over nothing, for the thousandth time.  
I had a few hours to kill before meeting him. I headed back to my temporary bunk and looked up some directions. I headed to the stores first. It was significantly better stocked than the one on the Harbinger, although that was hardly surprising. I made a few purchases, brought them back to my bunk before heading to the canteen to grab lunch. I stuck to the normal canteen rather than the officers one, no need to make them hate me more.  
I was practically humming with anxiety by the time I made it to Armitage’s office. He opened the door when I buzzed and called for me to come in. It wasn’t as big as the one he’d had on Starkiller but he still had a view. I stood looking out at the stars while he finished something on the datapad in front of him.  
“I’ve gotten the green light for us to go to Canto Bight. We’ve been issued a light freighter big enough for the load as well as access to the funds needed. The Supreme Leader is pleased with you.” Armitage explained and looked up at me with a small smile. “We leave at 1700.”   
I nodded and kept looking out the window, I rarely had the chance to look out when aboard the Harbinger, windows were a luxury.  
“Sorry, distracted by the view,” I said to him, he reached out for me and I came round the desk. He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap.  
“I could say the same.” He said, flicking a stray hair off my shoulder.  
“Smooth talker.” I chided gently. I looked around us. “I liked your old office better.”  
“So did I, this one doesn’t have as good company.” He replied and I blushed.   
A sudden idea dropped into my head and I gave him a wicked grin. He raised an eyebrow.  
“Does that door lock?” I almost purred.  
“Yes, but it’s not soundproof.” He answered as I slipped off his lap to my knees and pushed his legs apart.  
“Oh, I’ll be really quiet,” I say, sitting between his knees and running my hands up his thighs.  
He pauses for a second as if arguing with himself before pressing a button on his desk and sitting back, watching me carefully.   
I unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers slowly, keeping as much eye contact as possible. His mouth drops open when I reach in to cup him and pull him out into the air. He was already hardening for me.  
He was a good size, big enough to enjoy without worrying about cramped muscles. I gripped him and gave it a few experimental strokes, running my fingers over the head.  
“Xia!” He gasped, his head falling back.  
“Shush.” I hissed playfully before leaning forward to kiss his hardening length and run my tongue down the outside of it. His gloved hands were gripping the arms of the chair as I slid him into my mouth and began to suck on him.  
I’m not the best at this sort of thing but he wasn’t complaining.   
I began a slow steady rhythm and encouraged him to put his hand in my hair to help me move the way he wanted. He panted and gasped as I worked him, cupping his balls and stroking the parts of him I couldn’t reach with my mouth. He eventually coaxed me to go faster and I was happy to follow his lead.  
His fingers tightened in my hair and he cried my name as quietly as he could as he came into my mouth. I swallowed what he gave me and sat back, massaging my jaw a little and feeling pleased with myself.  
He tucked himself away and pulled me back into his lap for a kiss, I straddled him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as his hands settled naturally on my hips.  
“That was- I” He said after a moment. “Thank you.” His smile was dopey and youthful.  
“You’re welcome,” I say and he chuckles.  
“I’ll have to return the favor later. I still have work to do. Meet you on the ship?” He seemed honestly reluctant to let me go as I stood up and stepped away.  
“Of course,” I say and head out.  
“I look forward to it.” He says quietly as I leave.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few cross words but soft forgiveness

I amuse myself by packing my new purchases into a bag and watching a brainless vid about speeders before heading to the ship. It’s a squat little freighter with no name. On the manifest, it was listed as KN22SCi. Its front was shaped like a bullet with a sharp nose flaring out to a larger rear end.  
The ramp was down so I headed aboard to stow my bag and get my bearings. The main cockpit seated two and there was a fairly bare room with a tiny kitchenette. I guessed that this was meant to be the dining area despite the lack of furniture, bar a narrow bench with a box sat on it. I put my bag down next to the bench and nosed around the other rooms, a fairly simple fresher with a narrow shower and a bedroom. The bed was a large single and there were a computer and datapads already set up. A realization hit me.  
I investigated the box in the dining room. In it were a pop-up cot, a wafer-thin pillow, and an itchy blanket. This was for me and the single berth room was for Armitage. Charming.  
I set up the cot in the corner and put my bag on top. I might be able to get a reaction out of Armitage when he saw it which might be fun.  
I stepped into the refresher for a moment and as I was washing my hands I heard voices. They were close but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I sat back down on the closed toilet and let my other sense seek them out.  
I’d been practicing aboard the Harbinger. Tentatively at first and then pushing my limits to find what I could do. I could seek people out if I already knew their ‘signature’ (as I’d started calling it), I suppose that's how Ren kept finding me. I could feel the emotions and physical sensations of others and even, in some cases, push them back. Calm someone who was anxious and one time I even dulled someone’s pain.   
The best thing I could do though was to kind of catch a ride in someone's head. I couldn’t hear their thoughts or influence them but I could experience what they saw or heard or felt. It was hard to do and easier if I knew someone well enough to seek out their mind without too much effort. Unlike feeling emotions remotely though I couldn’t do it on the move, I needed to be sat or laying down, otherwise, I’d just fall over.  
I reached out now towards the voices, I caught a familiar mind and latched on, Armitage. He was irritated and anxious. I felt hatred towards the man with him as well as exhaustion, brief flashes of pain from his shoulders. I felt my body roll my own in empathy.  
I could see what he saw, he was walking up the ramp with a man. It was Pryde, he was stalking alongside with a face redder than a beetroot.  
“I’m just telling you to be cautious. She seduced Ren, no doubt she’ll try it with you as well.” He snapped at Armitage, I felt his irritation almost form into a point to thrust back at him.  
“I assure you that such tactics will not work on me. Beyond the fact that I do not fraternize with other members of the Order, Enric.” He paused, his voice was calmer than his head. Pryde looked chastened, I felt shame rolling off him in waves. He’d been ‘fraternizing’. “I simply don’t find her attractive. Quite the opposite in fact.”  
“I know what you mean.” Pryde wrinkled his nose, I felt amusement coming from him now, billowy and light. “Quite hideous, not to mention arrogant and terribly uncouth. I’m glad you see it that way.”  
“I’ll be on guard. If she tries anything I’ll lock her in the cargo hold and leave her there till we return.” I could feel him force a quirk of his lip, a false smile.   
“Good show.” Pryde clapped him on the arm then headed off.   
I disengaged my mind from his. Had I felt an ounce of sincerity about his supposed lack of attraction to me I might have been worried. As was I was heartened to find he was as annoyed by Pryde as I was.  
I heard him moving around the ship now, could easily feel the anger coming from him as he spotted my bunk. I pulled my extra sense in and locked it down, I didn’t need to be in everyone's head all the time.  
I stepped out of the fresher and greeted him.  
He turned around and smiled warmly. He’d already stowed his bag.  
“Can you really fly this thing?” I said, heading towards the cockpit. He joined me and took a seat in the pilot's chair.   
“Oh yes, I’ve been flying since I was young.” He did a few systems checks and I watched his hands, trying to make sense of what he was doing. Fuel pressure, hull integrity, battery backups.   
“Sir, you are cleared to disembark.” A voice over the speaker. Armitage pressed a button before answering.  
“Acknowledged.” He said and then started throwing switches and pressing buttons all around him. I watched carefully, raising the ramp, activating the engines, powering shields.   
He pulled back on the steering and the ship lifted into the air, turned elegantly, and headed out through the protective shield bubble that was over all the hangers, out into space.   
I watched, rapt as we moved further and further from the Supremacy and out into open space.   
“Course plotted, we’ll get clear of that asteroid belt then head into lightspeed.” He said, pressing some more buttons. “It’ll take about ten hours to reach Cantonica.”  
“Do you need to be at the helm all that time?” I lean forward to look out into the stars.  
“Until we jump to light speed, yes. It'll be about half an hour. You can go get some rest if you want.” He turned and smiled at me.   
“I’ll get dinner started,” I say over my shoulder as I head back to the dining room.   
I pull out a bag of ingredients from my bag and get to work finding what I need. Luckily the pantry is stocked with utensils and I start cooking. I chop vegetables and set water to boil. I feel the jump to lightspeed and not long after Armitage appears, stretching slightly.  
“Smells good.” He says and turns to what I thought was a plain bulkhead and pushes a switch, a table and two beaches folds down. Thank goodness, I’d started to think we’d have to eat cross-legged on the floor.   
“Go wash your hands, it’s almost done,” I call and he leaves to do as I ask.   
While he’s gone I lay the table and am ready when he returns.  
“Wow!” He says, a genuine smile on his face.  
“Tribannan Noodles with Canbar filets, veg, and Hibus dipping sauce,” I explain as he takes a seat opposite me.   
He takes a bite and lights up.  
“This is good!” He says and I laugh.  
“I’m good for other things than machines you know. I like to cook.” I explain.  
“Oh, I know you’re good at other things.” He makes his voice husky and my breath hitches.  
“Ummm… would you like a drink?” I ask to deflect him.  
He eats every bite and seems to honestly enjoy it.   
“That was one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time.” He says, stretching his arms up and sitting back with a satisfied look on his face.   
“Well thank you, I was excited to eat something other than nutrient paste and went a little overboard as you can see,” I say, motioning to the empty bowls. Speaking of which I scoop them up to wash them as well as the pots I used to cook.  
“You’re more… domestic, then I would have guessed,” he says, amusement in his voice.  
“I adapt to where I’m put. If all I get is a corner to sleep in and the occasional bit of food I can deal with it, tell me to prepare a four-course banquet for ten with coffee and aperitifs I can deal with that too.” I say as I scrub. “I’ve done both.”  
“You’ve done a lot.” He says and I laugh.  
“Understatement.” I look over my shoulder at him, he seems honestly interested. “But you don’t want to know all that.”  
“Actually I do. I realized after you got reassigned I knew nothing about your life before I collected you from that squat little workshop. I want to know.” He says and I turn away to bite my lip and smile. “I have questions.”  
“Ask then? I’ll decide if I want to answer.” I say, finishing up and drying my hands. “Can I ask you questions as well?”  
“It seems fair. May I go first?” He motions for me to sit and I do, picking up my cup of wine to take a sip. I nod. “Where are you from? That is which planet?”  
“A moon actually. Nar Shaddaa. My parents met there, they both worked for the Hutt’s.” I explained. “And you?”  
“Arkanis. I lived there with my mother until there was an attack and my father took me to safety.” He looked uneasy and I considered stopping but he pressed on. “What did your parents do?”  
“My mother was a seamstress. She made beautiful and elaborate clothes that the Hutts traded with great leaders and such. My father was a bounty hunter, not a very good one though.” I took a breath before carrying on. “What about yours? They didn’t live together?”  
“My father was Commandant of the former empire. My mother-” He paused “was a cook that he had a brief affair with. He didn’t acknowledge me as his son until his wife couldn’t give him one.”  
“Armitage.” I reached for him but he smiled sadly at me.   
“What happened to your parents?” He asked and I returned the smile.  
“My mother died when I was five. A fever they couldn’t cure at the time that the First Order just gives you a pill and tells you to stop complaining about.” I chuckle and he smiles. “When she died my father’s gambling problem got out of hand. He sold me to the Hutt’s to clear his debt. I have no idea what happened to him after that.” I dook a deep breath. “In truth, I don’t want to know. For me, he died when the door shut behind him and he left me as a slave.” I took a drink. “What about yours?”  
“My mother is alive. She currently lives on Corellia, we speak every few months. My father is dead.” He met my eyes as if to challenge me to ask about his father’s death but I thought better of it. Some things are best left uncovered. “What happened to you after you were sold?”  
“Wabb initially had me trained as a house-slave, intending to sell me once I got old enough. Then I got older and it turned out I had some skill with machinery. He switched to engineering and got me to fix up his speeders. I spent a lot of time on Tatooine, Wabb took over the races there when his brother died. I got better and better and word got out about my abilities so Wabb started to rent me out for set periods or to do certain things.” I explained and began counting things on my fingers. “I’ve built water filtration systems, rebuilt starships, dismantled starships, designed and built security systems, weaponry, armor, manufacturing equipment… so on.” I said and he looked impressed. “I made that old slug a lot of money.” I laughed. “And with each success, my price tag got higher.”  
“What do you mean?” He asked and I wagged a finger at him.  
“My turn. Why did you become a General like your father?” I asked and he looked shocked.  
“I felt it was my destiny to command as he did.” He said briefly. “What do you mean ‘your price tag’?” He pressed, leaning forward.  
“Wabb believes that every slave should have the right to buy their way out. As you work you build up credit in a kind of points system. Get enough points and you’re free. The points you need are equal to what you are worth. The average house-slave is worth about 4000 credits. A pleasure-slave-” He blushed a little. “Is usually 10-20 thousand depending on their skill level. Fighters 50 thousand and so on. Most slaves get free by the time they’re 40.” I ran a hand over my face. “Last time I checked I was worth about 45 million. Likely more now.”  
“Wait.” He held up a hand and blinked. “Snoke paid 45 million credits for you?” I laughed at that.  
“Of course not. He rents me, like everyone else. No doubt for quite a bit though.” I say and he stands up, turning away.  
“No. Snoke told me and Ren that he bought you, that he owned you.” He wasn’t looking at me.  
“He lied. Remember that awkward meeting when he okayed the oscillators? When he said ‘if there weren't rules against it’ he’d have me as a concubine.” I say to him, my voice is flat.  
“I remember.” He says, his shoulders are tense.  
“The rules are set by Wabb. No sex with the contract holder or ‘master’. If he owned me he could have dragged me to his bedchamber kicking and screaming and there would be nothing anyone could do about it.” I shivered. “Although I might have just thrown myself out of an airlock if he did.”  
“What of the tracking device you had removed? Couldn’t you just run?”   
“It’s my turn to ask,” I say and he tenses again.  
“Just answer!” He snaps.  
“Even without the tracker if I went AWOL no doubt Wabb would send bounty hunters after me. I’d never be able to rest anywhere. Plus I can’t fly so that’s out of the question.” I finish my wine and stand to rinse the cup. “No. I only have a couple of million credits against my price tag. I’m trapped for the rest of my life, I accepted that a while back.” I hear a sound and turn to see him heading for his room. The door shuts behind him and I sigh.  
So much for a romantic dinner.  
I clean the kitchenette from top to bottom and change into some pajamas before trying to get comfy on the bunk. Not an easy task.   
I turn down the light and curl up, I’ve slept worse places and I start to drift fairly quickly. I hear his door open and I assume he’s headed to the fresher but hear him heading my way instead.  
“Xia. “ He calls softly and I open my eyes. He crouches down to look at me. “I’m sorry, I was just having difficulty dealing with what you told me.” I touch his face and he leans into my touch. “I had to look into it, initially to prove you wrong but-”  
“I was right. Wasn’t I?” I say and he nods.  
“Wabb is charging Snoke 50,000 credits a month for you. He had to pay a fine over the damage to the tracker and I followed the trail.” He says, I can see him a little in the low light, the shine from his eyes.   
“How much am I worth these days?” I joke.  
“60 million.” He replies and I almost choke. “But not to me.” He says and leans forward to capture my lips.   
I’m shocked at first then kiss him back. He tucks his arms under me and lifts me to carry me to his bedroom. Laying me on the bed he begins to tug at my pajamas. He’s already shirtless and I just pull mine over my head to join him.  
His desire is apparent as he pulls at the trousers till they are in a heap on the floor as well. He pulls me to the edge of the bed and kneels on the floor between my legs. I cry out as he begins to ravish me with his mouth. He’s in a hurry though and doesn’t wait for me to climax before standing and removing his trousers.   
I playfully skitter backward away from him as he climbs on the bed but he grabs one of my ankles to pull me back with a sly smile on his face. He keels on the bed and pulls my hips up to meet him, slipping into me effortlessly with a groan.  
He pushes my legs up onto his shoulders to deepen the angle and I’m a gasping mess. Almost at once. He’s strong, dominant but not rough. He’s careful not to hurt me though he bottoms out with every thrust.  
When I come and nearly scream his name he drops down to kiss me and slow his movements, carefully coaxing me through the first orgasm I’ve had in too long. Once I’ve regained my senses he picks up the pace again and I wrap my legs around him, hooking my ankles together to hold on as he moves.   
It’s not long before I climax again and he joins me, falling next to me and wrapping his arms around me to pull me in for another long kiss.   
“Priceless.” He mutters as I settle down to sleep. “You’re priceless.”  
Damn, I wish that were true.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trax has plans for X5, so does Hux

I wake up slowly, realizing his arms are around me and he’s woken up frisky. He’s woken me by kissing my neck and once he realizes I’m awake he sneaks his hand between my legs.  
“Ah! Good Morning!” I gasp. He’s behind me, body curled close to mine.   
“Good morning.” He replies, relishing my reaction to his fingers rubbing, curling delving under the covers. “Would you prefer breakfast first or-” I squeak as he slips a finger into me, I’m already soaking.  
“Bastard.” I moan, turning my head to kiss him and lifting my leg to give him better access. He takes this as an invitation. He moves his hand away but before I can protest the loss he’s entered me from behind and is trusting lazily against me.  
It’s slow and intense. He doesn’t stop rubbing my clit while he thrusts into me and I feel groggy still from sleep.   
When we both come he spends another few minutes kissing me before getting up and ordering me to stay put till he brings me breakfast. I wriggle under the covers, relishing in the glow for a moment. This must be what it’s like to be in a relationship. It is bittersweet for me. A taste of something I can never truly have.  
He returns with some toast and coffee and we eat in companionable silence. Its nice, calm, and relaxing.   
“I’d better get dressed, I guess we’re close to the planet now,” I say after finishing my coffee and grabbing the plates and cups.   
“We have about three-quarters of an hour.” He says after glancing at the computer.  
I take out the plates and wash them before heading to the fresher. I shower quickly and braid my hair. As I leave, wrapped in a thin towel he steps out of his room, fully dressed.  
“Damn, I should have joined you!” He remarks and I laugh. He looks different in these clothes. A deep green button-down shirt loosely tucked into black slacks.  
“Green suits you,” I say and head to the tiny bunk where my bag is to pull out my clothes. New purchases from yesterday for the most part. Several months of built-up credits in my account let me go a little mad. He watched from the table as I dressed.  
I pulled on deep blue leggings, a long white tunic that tied at the throat, and buckled a wide brown belt on my waist. Sturdy brown boots and a small pouch that attached to the belt finished off the ensemble.  
“You’ve lost weight.” He points out and I smile at him. “You’re leaner.”   
“Months of tearing up hunks of metal and 5-star meals of nutrient paste will do that to a girl,” I say and I turn on the spot to show off my outfit.  
“You look great.” He says and heads to the cockpit.  
He pulls us out of lightspeed and there it was, the planet Cantonica. A desert world but the coats were fairly lush. We headed towards the biggest settlement, the gaudy lights of Canto Bight.  
“Good Morning, designation and landing clearance please?” A voice over the intercom.  
“Morning, Cameron Trax should have made a reservation for us, the name’s ‘Sparks’,” I say and I can hear typing on the other end.  
“Yes, here it is, Sparks plus one to the south spaceport. We’ll let him know you’ve arrived.” The pleasant voice said and cut the line.  
“South port then,” I say and Armitage steers us that way. We land amongst various other freighter-style ships. I remember that the northern port was for smaller, more luxurious vessels, the ones that were sleek with immaculate paintwork.   
We head out to find someone to give us directions but are greeted by a familiar face.  
“Dorg!” I call out the elephant-faced alien who was looking around. Dorg is a Lumarian, they have long faces with trunk-like noses. Bigger than humans and often more aggressive but Dorg was fairly sweet.  
“Ah, Sparks! Good to see you girl, who's your friend?” He saunters over, his long arms moving fluidly.  
“Good to meet you, Call me Armitage.” He introduces himself, I hide my shock, he sounds so casual it’s weird.   
“Hey, any friend of Sparks is a friend of mine. Come on, Trax is waiting for you.” He turns, becoming us to follow.  
“This early?” I say as we pass out of the port to the streets below the main concourse, this is where the normal people of the city lived and worked. Narrow streets and dark alcoves, pretty much everyone worked for the casinos and other attractions for the mega-rich but people still needed to eat so there were plenty of restaurants and shops for the little people. All tucked out of sight. A city in a city.  
“Ha! He didn’t go to sleep last night if that’s what you’re asking.” Dorg laughed.  
The streets were fairly quiet right now but I remembered how vibrant and busy they were in the evenings. Armitage seemed to take it all in his stride, who knew how many worlds he’d seen, dignitaries met and rebels destroyed.   
Dorg took us the quick way towards one of the large buildings attached to the racing paddock, you could smell the spicy-sweet stink that followed the fathiers around. He took us inside and the building was much as I remembered it. Everything as worn but good quality Trax didn’t like luxury, he preferred sturdy.  
We breezed through the building to Trax’s office where he was snoozing behind his desk, feet up, head back, snoring loudly.  
“Boss?” Dorg said and Trax just snorted.   
I pushed his feet off the desk and he sat up with a start, anger crossed his face before he realized who’d pushed him, then it was replaced by delight. His face lit up and he rushed around the desk to embrace me.   
“Sparks! Look at you! How did you get more gorgeous!” He spouted as he picked me up to whirl around. I giggled and pushed him away.  
“Put me down, you old letch!” I snap playfully and he does so before turning to Armitage and offering him a hand to shake.   
“You must me Hux, you’re taller than you look on the hollo.” He says as Armitage shake’s his hand. Trax of course tries to crush his hand but to his credit, Armitage doesn’t flinch.   
“I could say the same to you.” He replies when they break their hold. That was always what people noticed about Trax, he was over six feet tall and fairly muscular. A Heartbreaker in his youth. He laughs at the comment then sits back down, motioning us to sit on the two other chairs.  
“Right, thanks for coming. No troopers?” He peers at us.  
“No troopers,” I confirm and he smiles.  
“Good, I hate those weird plastic helmets. Big black eyes give me the creeps.” I smile at that as he sits back and lights a cigar.  
“Shall we discuss the shipment?” Armitage asks and Trax nods as he takes a deep drag off the awful smelling cylinder and blows smoke at the ceiling.  
“Yeah, so we said 750 a pound right? So 23.9 mill for the 14 and a half tonnes you need.” He says, he has a remarkable mind for numbers and I have no doubt he worked that out in his head.  
“That was the agreement,” Armitage confirms. “Do you have it ready?”  
“Unfortunately there’s been a delay.” Trax looks a little sheepish and I’m suspicious.  
“What delay?” I say and he rubs the back of his neck.  
“My guy had to outrun some rebels trying to steal the damn stuff. He got away but had to take a detour.” He explains, not looking at me.  
“When will he be here?” Armitage asks, the only clue to his annoyance is tightness in his jaw.  
“Tomorrow morning,” Trax says and I relax. A day is not so bad. “To apologize I got you both room at the Aria.”   
“What's that?” Armitage looks confused.  
“That’s the biggest Casino. Trax owns a big chunk of it.” I explain and Trax treats me to a grin. “What are you up to?” I ask him and he tries to look innocent.  
“Me?” He points at himself. “Just doing a favor for an old friend. Go on, check out the Casino, take in the sights. I’ll bet you haven’t had a day off in a while. Plus I’m having a bit of a shindig tonight at the Aria, I’d be glad if you wanted to join in.” He waves his arms as he speaks. I meet Armitage’s eye. Definitely, something going on here.  
“A party? What for?” I ask and he looks sheepish again.  
“It's my 60th birthday today.” He admits.  
“Oh! Well happy birthday!” I smile and he lights up.  
“So you’ll come?” He looks pleading and I still think there's something more going on.  
“We have to report back and get clearance,” Armitage says and I nod in agreement.  
“That's right. We’ll head back to our ship and report. We’ll let you know.” I say standing.  
“Alright, but be quick about it.” He says to our retreating backs. “Got a lot of stuff to do today without you bein’ a distraction.”  
I tell Dorg we can find our own way. I lead Armitage back the way we came, he tries to speak but I tell him to keep quiet till we’re back, no telling who Trax has listening out for him.  
Back aboard I raise the ramp and sit back at the kitchen table.  
“He’s up to something but I can’t tell what,” I say as Armitage heads to the cockpit to transmit back to the Supremacy. I had no doubt they’d give us clearance for another day, He was General after all.  
“You’re right, of course, but what can we do?” He replies after returning. “They’ve given clearance but what we do with this day is down to our discretion.” He sits next to me  
“I didn’t get the feeling we were planning anything bad. Just… Ugh! I don’t know.” I looked at him. “Is it just that the idea of a day off is so strange. You’ve said it yourself, we work too much.” He chuckled.  
“Maybe we should just enjoy ourselves, face the consequences when they arrive.” He suggests and takes my hand, lifting it to his lips. “It might be nice to just have fun for once.”  
“Alright then, I guess I should grab my bag.” I stand up and begin repacking. He disappears to do the same and meets me at the ramp.  
The walk through the resort town is very different, the walkways shine in the sun and everything is clean. The people are stylish and all the servants scurry to and fro seeing to their every whim. I messaged Trax before we left and just as he said, when we get to the front desk of the Aria they take up to some of the most luxurious rooms I have ever seen. The bed is big enough for ten people and so is the bathtub, I could almost swim in it!  
The vanity is full of complimentary creams, perfumes and ointments and the towels are like clouds. The hotel staff has said that while we are gone they will bring a selection of evening wear to our rooms for us to pick from, compliments of Trax.  
Armitage and I head out to look at the city for the day. It’s strange to be alone with him in daylight, to see him so relaxed. We buy a coffee and a pastry each from a bakery (the prices make me wince but Armitage just pays without thought, I suppose he must have a great deal of money), and walk along the shore for a while as the city begins to wake up.   
There’s a zoo and I beg Armitage to go with me, he smiles indulgently and follows behind as I run from animal to animal. In the aquarium, I’m completely rapt looking at a huge tank full of exotic fish in every colour you can think of.   
He stands next to me in the dim light and takes my hand. My heart jolts at the gesture, odd I know but I’ve never really held hands with someone. He realizes my shock and raises my hand to his lips but doesn’t let go of me.   
We pass through shops full of marvels and at one point while I investigated a shelf full of strange delicate little droids he slipped away from me. Saying he wanted to buy something to send to his mother. I end up talking to the artisan who made the droids, he’s happy to discuss their design and how he miniaturized their parts. One is made almost entirely from glass and it sings in a reedy voice.   
When Armitage comes to collect me the artisan presses a tiny gyroscope, a part from an unfinished droid into my hands, and waves away any offer of payment. Armitage leads me down onto the beach and we take off our shoes to walk on the sand.   
I notice he’s concealing something behind him.  
“What have you got there, sneaky?” I say, grabbing it. He twists away with more grace than I’d expect, with a big grin on his face.  
“I was wondering when you’d notice.” He says pulling it into view. It’s a little black bag with delicate silver writing on it, evidently from one of the boutiques we’d passed by.  
“Something for your mother?” I say with a smile.  
“No, for the other lady in my life?” He holds it out to me.  
“Millicent?” I say playfully and he swats at me before pushing the bag into my hands. “Armitage I-” I start to refuse it, I can’t take gifts from him, I can’t offer anything back in return.  
“Just see if you like it, okay?” He pulls me to sit on a sun lounger set up for guests of the casino.   
I roll my eyes and reach in. There’s a flat velvet box about the size of my palm inside. I pull it out and open the catch. Inside is a thin, delicate chain that shone like moonlight. On the chain was a single gemstone that glittered in the sun, every colour you can think of. It was small, barely the size of my fingertip but it was beautiful. I knew this stone, it was one of the rarest in the whole galaxy. A Kyber Crystal.  
Famed for their ability to trap and condense energy they were used in weaponry for the most part. There had been huge amounts used in the creation of Starkiller but the planet itself had provided them. Tiny gems like this one were prized, too small for weapons but glorious all by themselves.   
“Do you like it?” Armitage asked and I looked up at him.  
“Its- It's amazing but I can’t accept this. It must be worth thousands.” I say, closing the box and handing it back to him. “Take it back.”  
“I lost the receipt.” He says with that quirk in the corner of his mouth.  
“Liar,” I say and he smiles fully.  
“I won’t return it.” He says, taking my hand.  
“Then give it to your mother, or save it for the woman you marry. I-” I realize what I just said and my heart drops. I remember how temporary this all is, a facade over the top of reality. Much like Canto Bight itself.  
“If you wear it for tonight, just tonight. I’ll take it back before we leave tomorrow.” He says and hands it to me again.  
“Alright,” I say. I decide to live the lie for another few hours. Pretend I could be his.   
He encourages me to turn and lift my hair so he can put it on me. After closing the clasp he kisses my neck once before backing off so I can turn and he can look at me.  
“Beautiful.” He murmurs as I toy with the gem slightly, I’ve never really worn jewelry so it feels strange sitting there at the hollow of my throat.   
“It should be, judging by the amount you paid for it!” I joke and he cups my cheek and leans forward.  
“Not the gem. You.” He whispers before kissing me tenderly.   
He’s kissing me, softly, sensually, lovingly. In public.   
When the kiss ends naturally we sit back with his arms around me to watch the waves lap the shore. I’ll remember this for the rest of my life.   
“What would you do? If you were free?” He asks, toying with my hair.  
“I’d find somewhere I could build my own ship, even if it was out of scrap. Then I’d just travel. The galaxy is full of things I’d like to see. Maybe-” I sigh. “Maybe find someone who’d want to see it with me.” I turn slightly to look at him. “What about you? What if it wasn’t your destiny to command? Would you go with me?”   
“If you’d asked me that a year ago I’d have told you not to be foolish.” He looked out to sea. “But now? The prospect of traveling the galaxy with a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman? I could be convinced.”  
“Well, you best go and find one then,” I say coyly and he pulls me to him for another long kiss.   
We sit there for hours, talking about everything and nothing. He tells me about his mother and how she bates the best cocoa cake in the galaxy. I tell him about the time I spent growing up with the other slaves, the pranks we used to pull on each other.   
An earnest young man in a hotel uniform finds us and brings us some drinks. Odd sticky sweet brightly coloured, very alcoholic things in decorative glasses. A few sips and I was already giggling. I rarely drank and even when I did it was really only one or two glasses of wine or beer. This drink was like being hit by a sugar encrusted truck of booze.  
Armitage laughed with me and I was struck again at how different he looked when he smiled. I ran my fingers through his hair, mussing the carefully combed lines.   
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, taking my hand out of his hair and kissing my palm.  
“Just enjoying the moment,” I reply.  
The server returns and takes away our half-finished drinks, warning us that Trax’s party is due to start in two hours if we want to head back to our rooms to get ready.  
“Two hours is rather a lot of time,” I say as Armitage rises and pulls me up with him. He laughs at my confusion.  
“Most women would need longer to get ready.” He says as he links his fingers with mine to walk back to the hotel. “You however are exquisite exactly as you are.” I blush.  
“Charmer,” I say at his smirk.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night amongst the stars

My room is filled with bags and boxes when I return. There’s a note from Trax saying he asked a lady friend to pick some things out. I sigh and start to root through the mountain of high fashion.  
I start making two piles. One of the possible outfits and the other with definite cast-offs.  
The ‘no’ pile gets big quickly as I put aside strange voluminous gowns and feathery headpieces. There’s a massive tulle monstrosity in an unnatural pink, a barely-there gold thing that seems to be made from chains of various lengths and a technicolored thing that I had no idea how to even wear.  
The ‘maybe’ pile was significantly smaller. Only two things; a floor-length black dress that covered everything but my arms and a grey dress of a similar shape.  
I sigh as I look at them and decide to give up for a while and go and wash. There is an enormous bathtub and dozens of bottles of various hair and skincare. Baths are an indulgence I rarely get so I soak for a while, shaving my legs and armpits carefully. I wash and condition my hair and lay back in the heady scented water to consider my options.   
I considered them both and hated myself for my lack of daring. What would Armitage say if he saw me in that fuschia thing? I smiled at the thought, playing with a mound of bubbles.  
I hauled myself out and dried myself. There was this marvelous machine that you put over your head and it dried your hair almost instantly. I wanted to take it apart to find out how it worked of course but I knew I had limited time and the hotel probably wouldn’t appreciate it. There was a floor-length mirror and I regarded my naked form for a moment. Years of hard work had made me strong and months of living on a nutrient paste made me leaner than I had been for some time. Scars still crossed my body like a map of my life and I knew that these were the reason I was being so conservative. Te gem still hanging around my neck looked so alien on my skin.   
I wrapped myself in a towel and returned to the bedroom. I sat at the vanity to look over the myriad of makeup and jewelry that had been left for me. I picked up a bottle of perfume and sniffed it experimentally. It was wonderful of course.   
As I smelled it I caught my reflection again and I decided to try and see myself through Armitage's eyes. He wasn’t the first to tell me I was attractive. I’d had lovers before him and Ren, all of them had done their best to convince me of my beauty. For once I tried to see it too.   
I noted the graceful curve of my neck, the shape of my eyes, the colour of my skin, and the way my lips lifted into a smile. Okay, maybe I wasn’t the plain creature I imagined and for at least tonight I could be the woman they said they saw when they looked at me.  
I looked at the pile of dresses and noticed one had slipped to the floor. I picked it up and fell instantly in love. It was silver and made of some heavy material that moved like mercury. It was figure-hugging, nearly backless, and held up by two thin straps that crossed over behind the neck. On me, it would hang to the floor but was split to mid-thigh on both sides allowing some freedom of movement.  
There was a pile of lingerie as well that I had pointedly ignored but I saw there was a some that was designed to go with this dress. No bra, the dress couldn’t be worn with one, but a pair of panties in the same material with soft lace in a darker colour. I bit my lip and looked in the mirror. Did I dare wear this?  
Yes.  
I slipped it on over the panties and carefully brushed out my hair, I put on minimal makeup but smiled at myself as I gave myself flaming red lips. I stepped into some low heeled sling-backed shoes the same colour as the dress. I didn’t dare try any of the higher heels, I preferred my big boots but those just wouldn’t suit. A spray of the perfume and I was done.   
The woman looking back from the mirror was sublime, painted lips and smokey eyes. A snapshot from a different life.  
A knock at the door and I’m pulled from my thoughts. I nervously open it but its only an attendant. He smiles and asks if I’m finished with my choices. I nod and let him in. He and several others troop in, scoop up the rejected piles of silk and lace, then troop right out.  
“Wait!” I stop them a second. One turns around with another careful smile. “What about the jewelry and makeup?” I point at the vanity.  
“Mr Trax has decided that you are to keep that, as a gift.” He says before turning on his heel and marching off.  
A gift? There must be thousands of credits worth of jewels and perfumes here. I haven't even worn any of the jewelry as I think it’s too much for me. I go through the velvet-lined boxes again and pick out a pair of elaborate ear cuffs to wear, at least if I’m asked I can show my appreciation.  
I sit for a moment longer and the door is knocked again. I open it expecting another servant only to be confronted by Armitage.  
He is dressed in a beautiful silk suit. Black as the night sky. His shirt is spotlessly white and his bowtie matches the suit. His shoes shine and his hair is slicked back perfectly. He looks shocked by my appearance and he takes a step back.   
“Am I-” I pause, resisting the urge to bite my lip and ruin my lipstick.  
“The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He breathes before reaching for my hand. I let him take it and he bows over it, kissing it softly before righting himself.   
He lets me close my door and then takes my hand, tucking it into the crook of his elbow and leading me formally to the elevators. I expect us to go down to the casino floor but it seems Trax has taken over the roof terrace for his party.  
Armitage is silent during our assent and I focus on my breathing.   
The doors open and we’re greeted to a large space, tiled in glasslike black marble and open to the stars. There’s a long bar filled with bottles of every colour imaginable and great plooms of white flowers everywhere. There are couches strewn around, already filled with the richest and most influential people in the sector. A band on a raised dais is playing softly and wait-staff are darting to and fro with trays of drinks and food. Trax is installed on the largest couch, a man on one side of him, and a woman on the other. Both are dressed in gold and are beautiful with wide blue eyes and bright smiles. Trax himself is dressed in a white suit that fits him personally, a gold flower in his lapel. He is smoking as usual and his hair is immaculately combed. Lightyears from the disheveled rouge I knew.  
He smiled at us and beckoned us over.  
“Sparks! By the stars, you scrub up good, girl! Give me a twirl!” He spouted as we approached. I turned on the spot to indulge him. He whistled appreciatively. “Had I known you looked like that under all that engine grease I’d have tried harder to keep you.” He settles back onto the couch, throwing his arms over the back. The man to his left is watching me with a dark-eyed desire in his eyes, the woman to his right is outright staring.  
“I think I prefer the grease if it’s all the same to you old man,” I reply and he laughs riotously.  
“Go on and enjoy yourselves but save me a dance for later, Sparks. Consider it my birthday present.” He waves us away and Armitage leads me off, though I feel the eyes of Trax follow us as we leave.   
We find a quiet corner overlooking the resort and grab two glasses of sparkling wine from an orbiting server. I look up into the sky and try to focus on the stars. Armitage settles one hand onto the small of my back and the heat of his hand through the dress is comforting.   
We chat about the surroundings, the music, the elaborately dressed guests around us. He’s so much more at ease than I am. Oddly I was more comfortable in the woods the day that Starkiller fell apart.  
“Excuse me, my lady.” I turn at a man's voice. He’s approached us without me noticing. He’s tall with slicked-back black hair. His suit is all black and so tight it could be painted onto his skin. His eyes are black and his skin is almost red. “May I have this dance?” He bows and offers me his hand.  
Confused I allow him to take my arm and lead me away from Armitage. A glance back and his face is smooth, expressionless.  
The man takes me to the dance floor and shows me where to put my hands as he leads me into a dance.  
“Excuse my forwardness, I am Diago. Dear Trax often speaks of you. Sparks, the master engineer!” He laughs as he leads me effortlessly despite my clumsy feet. “He spoke of your talent and your fire but not of your beauty.” I blush.  
“Thank you, Mr Diago. What is it that you do?” I ask, keeping my tone formal even as his eyes drift over me. The dance is getting faster and it’s harder to keep my feet.  
“Me? I am a man of simple means. I just help people for a few credits here and there.” He deftly avoids answering me. “And please, my friends call me ‘D’.” He somehow shifts his body closer to mine.   
“Are we friends?” I say as coyly as I can.  
“We could be. I saw you with that drab little man and thought, there is a flower surrounded by dirt.” He joked and his dark eyes seemed to glow.  
“So you decided to pick this poor bloom?” I reply and he smiles, his teeth are pure white and sharp. “You need to mind out for thorns.”  
“Oh yes, but perhaps this bloom is not as sweet as I thought.” He raises an eyebrow before leaning down to mutter in my ear. I can feel his breath on my skin, I can smell his spicy cologne and the wine on his breath. “And yet I do enjoy a challenge.”  
“Even an experienced gardener should know when to give up.” I play along with his metaphor a little longer.  
“Then let me leave you with an invitation my sweet bloom.” He breathes in my ear before leaving the briefest of kisses on my cheek as he steps back, the song ends. “If you should tire of the company of such, earthy” He raises his eyebrows as he speaks. “Man, come and find me. I assure you, I do not fear your barbs.”  
He bowed to me and left on his long legs. I wanted to run from the dancefloor but another set of hands claimed me.  
“I hope old D didn’t fluster you, darlin.” Trax smiled as he pulled me into another dance. I smiled at him, my hand tiny in his and his grip on my hip was loose but very solidly there.  
“Devils don’t scare me,” I reply and he laughs.  
“He is a devil at that, though an artist with a blaster.” He grins at me as we move slowly through the steps. There are a great many other couples on the floor and as we twirl I catch sight of Armitage now engaged speaking to several other people, glass in hand and diplomats smile on his lips.   
“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?” I ask him and he looks shifty.  
“Is it not enough to indulge me on my birthday?” He scoffs and I graze his instep threateningly with my heel.   
“Trax,” I warn and he sighs.  
“Do you remember what I said after you clobbered that fella, years back?” He asked and I tried to think back. I’d been working in the other room when a fight broke out over a card game. I man drew a blaster on Trax and would have killed him had I not stepped in. I could clearly see the amazement on his face when his would-be killer collapsed in front of him.  
“You said: ‘Honey, marry me.’” I said and he grinned.  
“Offer still stands.” He pulled me a little closer.  
“Won’t your new friends have something to say about that?” I joke and he looks over at the pair in gold who are lounging on his couch.   
“I’m serious, Sparks.” He looks into my eyes and I can see he isn’t joking.  
“Cameron.” I use his first name and he winces. “You know I can’t marry anyone. I don’t have that luxury.” He runs his fingers over the spot where my cuff used to be.  
“No chain.” He says and I chuckle.  
“When a Sith Lord owns you you don’t go running,” I reply and he smiles sadly.  
“What if you could? What if I put a hole in your escorts head and we ran?” He says and I blink.  
“Wait.” I realize what he means. “Diago, he’s an assassin isn’t he?” I lower my voice and Trax grins broadly.  
“Still as quick as I remember.” His eyes sparkle with mischief. “One word from me and your redheaded friend disappear. I sell up what I’ve got here and we run. Together.” He squeezes my hand. I’m struck dumb. “The First Order won’t catch us and you’ll live the life you deserve.” He lets go of my hip to take my chin between his fingers and lift it so I’m looking at him dead in the eye.   
“What if I say no?” I whisper. I can feel the dancers whirling around us to the beat.  
“Then we finish our dance, you have a lovely evening and tomorrow you go back to your master, Domovite in tow.” He says just as softly. “You’ve got a choice, Sparks. I’d never force you, not like the rest.”   
“Take me and you’d be signing your death warrant, Trax. That’s not just any redhead.” I reply.  
“I know the head of the Order when I see him, even if the rest of these fools don’t.” He’s stopped even trying to dance now, we’re stood still in the middle of the floor and while there are many eyes on us it feels like we’re alone.  
“Even if I wanted to. I couldn’t do that to you.” I say and he frowns. “No, Trax. I’m sorry to disappoint.”  
He whirls me round to rejoin the dance. He takes me to the edge of the floor and kisses my hand.  
“You could never disappoint.” He says with a parting wink before rejoining the crowd of well-wishers that have gathered at his couch.  
I head to the bar and signal for a shot of something heavy. I down it and the bartender refills my glass without needing to be asked. It burns my throat but it helps.   
I drank two more shots before stopping.   
I didn’t want anyone to get hurt for me. Least of all Armitage. I glanced over at him as he spoke easily with the various arms dealers, slave traders and other high ranking degenerates.   
The alcohol loosened my control over my senses. My mind opened up and I could feel everything. A great cloud of emotion and I was in the middle of it. Lust, joy, and boredom mixing in an overwhelming haze. I closed my eyes and let myself drift.  
I could feel Trax, he was regarding me from a distance. He was angry and disappointed. He wanted me, I could feel his desire like a physical thing but underneath was real affection, solid, and warming.   
The man on his arm wanted me too but the woman’s brain was a hotbed of jealous anger. She hated me the way you hate someone with a better ship or nicer haircut.   
I felt someone familiar approaching, another mind full of jealous anger but also a spark of something pure underneath.  
“Xia? Or shall I call you ‘Sparks’ here?” I turned and opened my eyes. Armitage looked at me with a face controlled by the habits of a statesman but I saw the telltale signs of emotion.  
“May I have a dance?” He offered his hand and I took it dreamily, lost in the miasma around me.   
He led me back to the dancers as a slower song began. I put my hands on his shoulders as he settled his own on my hips. As we swayed and turned I could feel the anger growing behind his calm facade.  
“Armitage-” I began but he cut me off.  
“I had thought you’d grown bored of me.” He quipped sharply. “So many beautiful people are interested in you.”  
“Armitage-” I tried again, feeling his jealousy, spiky and poisonous, raking at me.  
“But I suppose you can’t be blamed.” He was looking anywhere but at me. “I’m hardly a match for these preening fools.” His self-loathing pierced through the jealousy as his anger turned inwards.  
“Armitage-” I tried another time and again he ignored me.  
“In another life you’d be with one of them, laughing away with no cares but-” I kissed him, I pulled him close against me and pressed my lips against his.  
For a moment he was shocked but his arms wrapped around me and he kissed me back.   
“It’s you I want. Only you.” I say to him when I pull away.  
He takes my hand and tows me through the crowd. I think at first he’s taking me back to our secluded corner but no, he’s taken me back to the elevator.  
As soon as the gilded doors shut he’s wrapped his arms around me, kissing me breathless. Relief is flowing through him like sunshine burning away the fog. I see fear being chased from his psyche. He was so scared I’d leave with someone else.  
The doors open and he pulls me down the hall to his room. The door is barely shut behind us before he has my back pressed to it.  
“You’re-” He speaks between desperate kisses as he shrugs off his jacket. “You’re-” He keeps trying to speak.  
“Shush!” I snap and he smiles against my mouth. His hands are everywhere. He lifts one of my legs to try and hook over his hip but in the heels I over ballast and knock into his vanity.   
He doesn’t hesitate and lifts me to sit on the ornate worktop, scattering the bottles and brushes that were so neatly lined up there. He pushes between my knees, rudely pushing my skirt up around my waist to grind against my core.   
I gasp and grab at his back, clutching handfuls of his formerly pristine white shirt as he ravages my mouth. He lets go of me for long enough to unzip his trousers and push my underwear aside. He lets out an animalistic growl as he pushes into me and begins to thrust against me, the vanity shaking and hitting the wall. All I can do is hold onto him and twine my tongue with his as he claims my body.   
I cry out his name when I climax and he becomes more crazed, gripping my hip with bruising force and fisting a hand in my hair as he chases his end.   
When he finds it he shudders and leans against me, kissing me more gently now.  
“I-” He’s panting and there’s a sheen of sweat on his brow. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” His cheeks are red with exertion and embarrassment.   
“Don’t be. I wanted you too.” I soothe and kiss his cheek.   
We disentangle and he tucks himself away before helping me down and pulling me to the couch. We sit and cuddle together in silence for a moment but I can feel the tension still in him.   
“Armitage, what's wrong?” I ask and he sits up, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“Nothing.” He replies and I roll my eyes.   
I stand up and move to pass him.  
“Goodnight then,” I say and he grabs my hand.  
“Stay.” he pleads.  
“Only if you tell me what’s wrong,” I say and he stands as well and begins pacing. I stand at the foot of the bed, arms crossed. The initial rush from the alcohol has passed but I still feel his thoughts spilling over. Anger, self-hatred, longing. It churns together and all I want to do is shout at him.  
“I can’t.” He says and I step towards the door.  
“Thank you for a lovely evening, General,” I say in false formality. He latches onto me again.  
“Alright!” He says and I stop trying to head for the door. “I hate this, that after tonight we’ll go back to the Supremacy. I’ll go back to being General Hux, leader of the First Order, and you’ll-” He hesitates and I turn to him.  
“I’ll be X5 again.” I finish for him. “Just a slave.”He pushes an errant lock of hair out of my face and cups my cheek.  
“Never ‘just’ a slave,” he says and I can feel the affection flowing through him. I smile at him and he returns it.  
“Okay. I’ll go back to being the best technological mind in this part of the galaxy, who is also a slave.” I correct and he laughs before pulling me into his arms for a tender kiss. “You don’t want to go back?” I say after a moment, we’re still close enough my breath ghosts over his skin.  
“I should, but I have a problem.” He replies and I feel it before he says it. It’s like a firework that is breathtaking before it sets fire to the forest. I almost stop him but can’t bear it. “You see, Xia, I think I may be in love with you.”  
His voice is so soft that I could have claimed not to hear him. I should run, I should push him away and go to my room. I should kill this before it takes root, douse the flames before it burns me alive.  
Instead, I melt into his arms, breathless and weak.  
“I think I may have the same problem.” I manage to say before he claims my lips. If he notices my single tear of despair as a wave of triumph overwhelms him and threatens to drown me, I might never know.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all starts to crumble

I wake in his arms, curled up under the covers in the too soft, too big, too elaborate bed. My dress is in a puddle on the floor and his suit lies discarded not far from it. We spent the remainder of the night showing each other the way we felt, though we didn’t voice it again.  
He was still asleep and in the light seeping in around the curtains I studied his face. I tried to stop myself from thinking about what it would be like to be his. Really his.   
My mind rebelled though and images of soft mornings and endless nights crept in as the light did to our room. Would he marry me? Would we have a home together? I could never give him children the normal way but we could get around that with a surrogate. Or maybe he’d be just as happy with another cat to keep Millicent company.  
He stirred and muttered something in his sleep, his arms pulling me closer. I had control over my senses again so his mind was his own. Would he be angry if he knew I could tell what was going on in his head?  
I disentangled myself from him to use the bathroom. I inspected my face carefully in the mirror after relieving myself. My makeup was smudged and my hair was a mess. The ear cuffs had been discarded but the gem remained around my neck. I touched it briefly and decided that I wanted to keep it. Even if I couldn’t have him I would keep this to remind me of him and last night.  
I washed my face and did my best with my hair. I considered sneaking out but when I returned to the bedroom he was sat up in the bed and greeted me with a smile. Before I could speak there was a knock at the door.  
Armitage’s brow furrowed but he got up and threw on a bathrobe before going to the door. I stepped into my dress and pulled it back up before he opened it.   
“Good morning sir!” A servant stood there and bowed respectfully. “I have been asked to inform you that your shipment is now ready to load. Once payment is received, Mr Trax will authorize its transfer for you.” I could have slapped him. I’d hoped for another hour at least.  
“Thank you,” Armitage said and made to close the door.  
“Would you care for some breakfast?” The man chirped but had the door closed on him. A little rude perhaps but I’m sure he was used to worse, I made a mental note to leave the staff a tip.  
Armitage walked past me and picked up a datapad. He tapped it a few times then swiped.  
“Funds transferred.” An electronic voice chimed. He threw the pad onto the bed and rubbed at his face, not looking at me. He looked so small then, the Great General. Commander of one of the greatest military forces in history, reduced to just a man. He looked up at me at last and opened his arms. I stepped into them without speaking.  
The dream was over, for both of us.  
I went to my room and packed my bag, it didn’t take long. I considered keeping the dress but in the end, I left it on the bed. I left the jewelry and the makeup too. I left a note telling the staff they could have it if they liked it. I kept the shampoos and soaps, the girls back on the Harbinger would bite my hand off for those.  
I dressed quickly and headed out into the hall. Armitage joined me and we trudged back to the ship in near silence.   
Trax’s men met us and we directed them in loading the crates of domovite. We signed for the delivery and after a few checks we took off. I watched the planet recede into the distance.  
“How long till we get back?” finally broke the silence.   
“Only six hours this time. The fleet has moved closer since we’ve been gone. We have orders to report to Snoke as soon as we return, better get changed before we land.” He said as he threw a few switches to send us into lightspeed.  
“Yes, sir,” I said and stood up, leaving the cockpit to retrieve my uniform from my bag.   
“You didn’t ask me to return it.” He said as I rummaged through my things. I’d felt the ship shudder as we sped up. Turning I saw him in the doorway to the kitchen. I’d left my bag on the countertop.   
“No, I didn’t. Do you want it back?” I reached for the clasp and he stopped me, stepping forward and taking my hands in his.  
“Keep it.” He ran his fingers over the backs of my hands tenderly. It felt like we were mourning, grieving for something we couldn’t name.  
“Thank you,” I say and the corner of his mouth quirks. I’ll miss that little movement.   
We don’t talk much during those hours together. We make love once, slowly and tenderly. Every touch is like saying goodbye.  
When we emerge from lightspeed we’re both ready in our uniforms. We land and the ship is immediately refueled and flown away, I assume to wherever in the fleet it’s needed first. My bag is taken by a trooper who tells me it will be in the temporary quarters I used before. Armitage’s is taken as well, to be stowed in his office or quarters I’d imagine.  
I follow him through the halls in silence, the regulation two steps behind as he leads me to Snoke. I should be scared to face him again but I’m just sad. It's too much to hope I will be kept aboard the Supremacy, even then we’d have to keep our relationship a secret for Armitage’s sake at the very least.  
The doors open and we enter the throne room in lockstep. He bows at the waist while I fall to one knee. Our different status is evident. Snoke lounges in his throne, a twisted king in his crimson palace.  
“Ah! Welcome back! Especially to you X5, even when given the most menial of tasks you prove your worth to the First Order. You have redeemed yourself.” He declares. I stand up but keep my eyes on the floor. “I trust there were no issues, General.”  
“None save the delay, sir,” Armitage replies quickly.  
“Good, good. You may go, General.” He dismisses my lover who bows again and retreats. I focus on keeping my mind blank, my defenses up while the doors open and close behind me.   
Snoke regards me with a smile as I stand still, awaiting his orders. His personal guard stands ready around the perimeter of the room. Like shining red statues. I can feel them looking at me.  
“X5 there is a matter that we need to discuss,” Snoke says, at last, steepling his fingers and watching me. “I think you know what I’m referring to.”  
“What do you mean, sir?” I say meekly.   
“You can’t believe its escaped my notice?” He seems amused, I’m not sure that's a good thing.  
“I’m afraid I don’t understand, sir,” I reply, I’m praying inwardly. Make him leave me alone.  
“Come here.” He beacons to me with one bulbous hand. I hesitate but comply, this is the closest I’ve been to him physically. I’m shaking, I can’t help it. “X5, you know that I am referring to the force.” He sits back to regard me. I swallow, hard. “Ren mentioned previously that you can feel when he or I am attempting to read your emotions and thoughts. Now I’ve noticed your abilities have grown, you can shut him out, can’t you?” I can only nod. “I wonder if you can do the same to me?” I can feel him pressing against my defenses. I panic, holding them up harder. “Ah, so you can.”  
He stands and steps towards me. He’s tall and slim and moves strangely like his hips are attached wrong. He grips my jaw with one malformed hand and forces me to look at him.  
“What else can you do?” Before I can speak he squeezes my jaw sharply, a warning.  
“I can feel what others are feeling,” I say and he smiles. “I can even help them feel calmer.”  
“Nothing more?” He enquires and I feel him pushing harder and harder against my mind. I keep it up, I keep him out.  
“No, sir,” I say and he releases me stepping past me to look out of one of the massive windows.  
“It seems your abilities have manifested in a way rarely seen on either side of the force.” He says I want to rub my jaw but resist the urge. “You can see the flow of the force but not influence it. Fascinating.” He folds his arms behind him. “Perhaps that is how you have such natural talent for machinery.”  
He seems to consider the void in front of him for a moment.  
“It is decided then, you shall remain here on my ship and once Ren’s training is complete I shall train you in the ways of the force. You will become my new apprentice.” He turns to me and holds out his hand.  
I stumble back.  
“No,” I say simply and he looks confused.  
“No?” He takes a step towards me. “Do you understand what I’m offering, girl?” I step back again. “You could be a Queen. No one would dare stand against you.”  
“Yes. I understand but I do not want it, sir.” I say, trying to sound respectful.   
He reaches out with the force and grabs me, pulling me closer.  
“You dare refuse me?” He doesn’t raise his voice but doesn’t need to.   
“I-” I try to speak but he flings me across the room. I land on my face and my vision turns blurry.  
“How dare you! You will submit to the dark side, girl.” He growls as I try to stand, blood running down my face from my nose.  
“I- I- I don’t-” I stutter and he lifts me into the air.  
“You will learn.” He says and throws me into the glass, I fall back to the floor. All the air escapes my body in one great cry. “Throw her in a cell until I call for her.” He orders and two of his guard grab my arms to drag me away. I’m limp and I don’t fight.  
They haul me through the ship to the brig and toss me inside a tiny, dark cell. The door snaps shut behind them while I curl up on the floor.  
You may be wondering why I didn’t just submit. I’d seen what his training had done to Ren and I did not want it. I knew in the end that he’d make me do awful things that I didn’t have the strength to do.   
I was glad that I’d had a chance to say goodbye to Armitage.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spark of rebellion

I was in the cell for three days before I had a visitor. Ren arrived and stood in the doorway to glare at me. I sat on the hard flat bunk, back to the wall and my arms around my knees.  
“X5.” He said my name softly, he wasn’t angry. I looked up at him. I’d done my best to clean myself up but I knew my nose must be bruised and my shirt was stained with my blood.   
“We always meet in the best places,” I say, my voice is horse and slightly nasal. I try to smile.  
“Why did you refuse?” He isn’t wearing his mask. I’d heard the prison guards chatting, apparently, he’d smashed it after being provoked by Snoke. I’d felt the ship shake a little not too long ago. A jump to hyperspace then out again, the rumble of explosions. I was weak, they hadn’t fed me in days.  
“My choice is my own,” I say and he scoffs.  
“He’ll kill you if you don’t agree.” He doesn't step into the cell despite the door being open.  
“Better that, than being like you,” I say and his eyes almost glow with fury.   
“What?” He snaps and I sit up to look at him. The gloves are off.  
“I feel you. Ben Solo. I feel your anger. Anger at Snoke, your parents, your uncle, Rey, Me.” I sniff and rub my nose gently. “You do want to be accepted, loved, but you’re so angry you can’t see anyone. You wanted my love then killed any chance at it. You want your parent’s love but rejected it. You want Rey to love you-”  
“Stop!” He wants to hurt me, make me take it back. “Love is a lie. An illusion to make us stray from the path to power.”  
“That's it, spout his lies like a good student.” I’m mocking him. He glares at me for a moment, shrouded by a cloud of his anger and his hate. Then something cloying enters the storm. Jealousy.  
“He knows you’re down here. You know that.” He has a nasty smile on his lips. The kind of smile a child might have as it pulled the wings off a fly.  
“Who?” I already know, were there anything in my stomach I might vomit.  
“Hux. He knows you’re locked up here and doesn’t care. Snoke told him and there was nothing, no glimmer of anything.” He smiles wider and rolls his shoulders to release the tension in them.   
“Why should he care?” I say, keeping my thoughts locked down my face impassive.  
“He doesn’t.” Ren wants me to react but I give him nothing.   
He closes the door and I hear his heavy footfalls receding.  
Out of habit, my senses follow him, always so obvious, that storm of angst he weaves around himself. I hear muffled voices and then the storm changes, a flash of triumph.  
Curious. I lie down and focus on him, I can almost imagine myself walking beside him. In fact, at one point he turns to look around as if he can feel me there. He shrugs it off and continues on his way.  
I trail after him as he heads to a docking bay. I can see through his eyes and he doesn’t sense me at all. I can feel the anxiety tightening his muscles and hear the squeak of leather as he clenches and relaxes his hands.   
In the docking bay, an escape pod has landed, not First Order issue. It’s surrounded by troops who move aside as he approaches. He touches a few buttons and it opens. The burst of contradicting feelings makes me gasp as he sees her. Those doe brown eyes looking up at him, a lightsabre clutched in her hands.  
He drags her out and her hands are bound by a trooper before he marches her out towards an elevator. I drift into her head as easily as you might walk across a bridge. Something is connecting them, it's too easy to pass between them. I can almost sit in that connection, piggybacking on it to see the world through both of them.   
She has feelings for him. Not love, nor even affection. A shameful longing that he returns equally. She wants to save him and he wants to save her. She speaks to him, pleads with him, that she can help him. He sneers and denies her.   
From here I see it, two sides of the same coin. No. More like they are stood back to back. She faces the light, and he the darkness, neither one willing to take that extra step. The link between them is different though, less natural than their opposition. Its constructed. Someone put it here. Snoke.  
Idiots. They think they’re special, that the force demands they be together. In reality, they are being led down the path like animals to the slaughter.  
I hated Snoke even more if that were even possible.   
When they entered his throne room I did my best to hide, it was easy. He was so focused on them he didn’t notice me stepping into the heads of his guards. Their thoughts were so regimented I wondered if they were truly people anymore.   
Snoke taunted the girl, he loves to play with people. I wondered if he’d let her live, to dangle over Ren to force his compliance. He tore her mind apart looking for knowledge. She resisted as best she could but she was helpless against him. I feel something tiny but sharp and real from Ren.  
Rebellion.   
He resents Snoke’s treatment of Rey and himself. He so wanted their connection to be real, another falsehood to add to the pile. I wanted to help him then, that disappointment was so raw so real I needed to help.  
I needed to be quick, Snoke would only be distracted for so long. I grabbed a trail of his thought and pulled as hard as I could.  
“Ben,” I called out to him. I felt his mind react to me. He heard me, barely a whisper. “We need to stop him. I can help. Let me help.”  
I felt rather than heard his response. He agreed.  
“Let me in,” I asked and he threw open the doors for me. No longer lurking on the edges of his mind I was now able to move him. A second mind, the second set of thoughts. That was how we would beat him.  
Rey fell to the floor. I felt Ren’s muscles twitch, he wanted to help her as she struggled to sit up, to kneel in from of him. I held him in check with a warning.  
“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training, and fulfill your destiny.” Snoke speaks to him and I hear it as if it were me stood there in front of her.  
“I know what I have to do.” We speak as one. Snoke does not hear the echo in his ‘worthy’ apprentice’s mind.   
“Ben.” Rey looks up at him and I have to hold him back.  
“Be still. We can do this.” I whisper and he stays immobile.   
“You think you can turn him? Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent.” I felt him penetrate Ren’s mind and I push his thoughts in front of mine so Snoke cannot feel me. Distantly I could feel my own body convulsing with the effort to hold our connection. I might well die from this but not before I saw Snoke sent to hell. “Yes. I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true.” I tell Ren to imagine lifting the lightsabre at Ren’s waist and pointing it at Rey. I grab ahold of the force and use his command of it as my own. “And now, foolish child, he ignites it, and kills his true enemy!” I pull hard at the strings of his mind and at last, can only watch as Ren activates the Lightsaber on the arm of Snoke's throne, impaling him then sliding him in half as it flies out and lands in Rey’s waiting hand.   
I share in the triumph before falling out of his mind. I float away from the fight I can only just perceive, Snoke's guard has attacked the pair but there’s nothing more I can do.  
I feel minds around me, fighting, shouting, running but there’s nothing I can do. I return to my own body and gasp like I was rising from deep water. My heart races and my lungs are in agony and yet as soon as I regain my breath I laugh. I laugh so long and hard that the guards come to my cell door to look in at me.   
Blood has run from my ears and tears are flowing down my face as I laugh.   
“Gotcha.” I manage to say to their confused faces before I pass out.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spark catches

I’m woken roughly not long after.  
“Xia!” A familiar voice. “Please wake up, tell me you’re alright!”   
I open my eyes and look into his. His voice is rough and his uniform is rumpled. Armitage, my Armitage.  
“I’m here,” I say and cough. “Wow, what a rush,” I say as he sets me on my feet.  
We’re still in my cell but the door is open. There’s smoke in the air and alarms blaring. It’s a wonder I didn’t wake before. “What happened?”  
“One of the rebels used their ship like a damn torpedo. Took out half the fleet and crippled the Supremacy.” Armitage takes my arm and pulls me from the cell. I follow dreamily. “We have to get out of here.” He urges, towing me along.  
“What about Millicent?” I ask softly and he pauses.  
“I sent her to mother a few months ago.” He says without turning. I can tell immediately that he’s lying to me. I don’t know how I know. I just do. I nod anyway and let him pull me along.  
He pulls me into an elevator where I slump against the wall. He wraps his arms around me after the doors close. “I didn’t know where you were.” He says and I can feel his voice rumbling in his chest. He’s telling the truth. “I knew Snoke had you locked away but not where. Ren said you’d been sent to a training facility. I should have looked harder, forgive me.”  
“Forgiven,” I say, looking up at him with a tired smile. He cups my face with both hands and kisses me desperately.  
“Ren sent me to get you. We’re going down to the planet the rebels are hiding on.” He says after the kiss ends.  
“Okay,” I say. I have so little energy left I can only agree.  
He nods and as the door opens he leads me out and towards a smoke-filled docking bay. Sat in the middle like a sleek black bird is Rens ship. I recognize it instantly.   
Ren himself is stood by the loading ramp and gives us the slightest of nods before he heads in.   
Armitage brings me aboard and sits me down on a bench near the main cockpit. He can’t be affectionate in front of the others but he’s gentle.   
“Take off!” Comes the order from Ren. “Hux, go sit up front, I need to speak with X5.”  
He appears and Armitage salutes before complying.   
My stomach lurches as we lift off and I lean on the wall to support me, eyes shut against the throb in my head. I feel him put his hand on my knee and I flinch away from him. I look at him and I can see the roiling, confused mess of emotion in his head.   
“What?” I grunt.  
“Thank you.” He said softly as if he feared others would hear. “You did what I couldn’t. I don’t know how you did it but I know it was you.”  
“A thank you from the great Lord Ren? I wish I’d dressed up.” I joke and he gives me a small smile.   
“Supreme Leader now.” He corrects and I raise an eyebrow.  
“Really? Then what's the next move, boss?” I say and he stands up.  
“Crush the rebellion.” He says simply and walks away.  
I take the few minutes before planetfall to try and recover a little. My head hurts but my ears aren't bleeding any more. My lungs ache but I’m breathing and while a little light-headed I can think straight and move. That was enough.  
I feel the lurch as we enter the atmosphere and drag myself to standing to see what happens next. Ren intended I witness this. I suppose I should at least do that.  
The rebels have sealed themselves in some kind of mineshaft. The ground is coated in something that looks like snow. We’re flying only a few stories up alongside several of those foolish-looking AT-AT things. A relic still kept from the old empire. I always thought they looked like sad dogs. A great cannon was being placed to blast open the shield door of the mine. Looking at it I could see it would rip it apart like a finger through wet paper.  
The rebels have lined up in a trench to try and stop our approach. Small arms and a few bigger blasters against this. Hope was dwindling.   
A row of odd-looking craft mounted on skis headed towards us. They wanted to disable the cannon but I couldn’t see it happening.  
“Thirteen incoming light craft. Shall we hold until we clear them?” Armitage asks as they trail along the ground. It's not snow, its salt, or something else crystalized. Beneath it, the ground is blood red. How poetic.  
“No. The Resistance is in that mine. Push through.” Ren orders.   
Several of the craft are taken out simply because they disintegrate. Others are blown apart by blaster fire as we close on them and the cannon charges.   
A freighter I haven’t seen in months roars from the sky to destroy some of the First Order Fighters. The explosion of Anger from Ren is enough to make me flatten myself against the wall to steady myself.  
“Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!” He roars and Armitage sends all the small fighters after it. It pulls them away from the fight but of course, the order is confident of victory without them.   
The odd little speeders continue to advance despite the firepower but they get picked off one by one. Several peel off but one continues to skid towards the cannon. I hold my breath. I hear his mind, the pilot. I know it well. Eight-Seven, Finn.  
He’s planning on throwing himself at the cannon, a foolish suicidal plan.   
One of his comrades must agree as they slam their craft into his, knocking them both out of the way. As the cannon fires, I see him run to them. I’m too weak to hear him clearly but I know he cares for the other pilot and is hurt that they did what they did to stop him.   
The cannon rips through their defenses and for a moment there's silence. I feel the smug glee from everyone on the ship. I just want it all to stop. I’m crying silently. I have no defenses right now. I feel every mind wink out of existence, our soldiers, and theirs. It's too much. I hate it.   
I feel something change. A ripple of something I cannot place. I push away from the wall to stare at the hole blasted through the doors of the mine. I can feel someone new.   
I know the second Ren sees him. An older man dressed in brown and white robes walks out and stands in front of us like he’s challenging the whole First Order.   
“Stop! I want every gun we have to fire on that man.” Ren is seething with white-hot rage. It hurts to be near him but I can’t take my eyes off the man. So serene yet there was something wrong, something off about him.   
Every blaster in the vicinity fired at him and he was lost to a cloud of red dust. Ren screamed for more. He was blinded by his hate and it made me dizzy.  
“That's enough. That's enough! Do you think you got him?” Armitage calls out and the blasters stop. “Do you think we got him?” He goads Ren, a bad idea.  
The dust settles and the man is still there. He brashly swipes at some dirt on his shoulder and I have to hide a smile. I like him.  
I reach out my mind to him as best I can, though it takes more than I think I have left to do it, there’s nothing there to feel, just a ripple in the universe. Curious.   
“Bring me down to him. Keep the door covered and don't advance until I say.” Ren says to the pilot. Armitage is incensed.   
“Supreme Leader, don't get distracted, our goal-” Ren flexes the force and slams Armitage into the wall. I gasp and fall to my knees next to him. Ren doesn’t even look at us as he walks past to the ramp.  
Armitage is unconscious with a gash on his forehead. I manage to pull him to the bench just outside the cockpit and lay him down before Ren reaches his quarry.   
Now I’m angry.  
I’m irate.  
Furious.  
I watch him duel the man who slips around his attacks like a fish through water. This had to be him, Ren’s first master. Skywalker.  
I watch them and I can feel Ren’s emotions even from here. When Skywalker disappears I almost laugh. A trick.   
I sit across from Armitage and close my eyes. I reach out. I know what I’m looking for and I find them. The rebels. They’re inside the mine but they’ve run further inside. Hope flickers from mind to mind like lightning and for a second I touch a mind that feel me, it flinches back from me and I do not pursue.  
Then despair. Its a flood of broken despair, disappointment, and anger. A dead-end I suppose.  
I consider stepping into one of their minds to find out what happened but someone joins them and I’m instantly attracted to them. It's her. Rey.  
She’s looking at a pile of boulders and I know the others are on the other side. She wants to move them. So do I.  
“Let me help,” I whisper to her. She doesn’t hesitate.  
When she pulls at the force to move the hunks of rock I pull with her. Together we lift them up and away. I see her friends exit the cave. I see Eight-Seven. I see the pilot he saved. I see the woman who had to be Ren’s mother. Ben’s Mother.  
When she drops the stones back I feel my strength failing me again.   
“Thank you.” She says quietly and I feel it resonates through her.   
“Good Luck,” I whisper and let my mind drift back to my body.  
I’m dimly aware of someone standing over me, calls for a medic and pain before I’m lost to the dark.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dream ends

I wake alone. I’m in a hospital bed, there’s a breathing mask over my face and a drip in my arm. I remove both and sit up.   
Something changed when I killed Snoke. I can feel everyone around me now. A hive of activity. It’s easy now to feel it, like background noise. I breathe carefully and I can feel it, the ebb and flow of the force. I hate it but it’s beautiful.   
“Awake I see.” A young woman in doctors scrubs comes into my room. “You had us all a little worried.” She looks through a datapad and scolds me for removing the mask and drip.   
“Sorry,” I say quietly. “How long was I out?”  
“You were in a coma for three weeks.” She says matter of factly. “We weren't sure you were going to wake up at all.” She crosses her arms and I look into her without thinking. She’s amazed I’m alive, doesn’t understand at all what was wrong with me, and is a little scared of me. “The Supreme Leader will want to see you.” She says and I flinch inwardly.   
“May I have some clothes, please?” I ask and she hides her annoyance well.  
She disappears for a moment and returns with a clean uniform, shoes, and underwear. I find I’m still wearing Armitage’s gift and smile sadly at that. When I ask she just says that there were orders to leave it on unless it threatened my life.   
I dress under her supervision. She wants so desperately to order me back to bed but can’t. Her datapad beeps and her fear spikes hard enough for me to turn. He’s coming and she’s scared of him. I feel it then. A wave of fear approaching from somewhere close. Every mind near him is full of it.   
“Go,” I tell her, and she bolts without hesitation.   
He enters the room just as I finish buttoning my shirt.  
“I felt you wake.” He says and I look up at him. The helmet is back though now with a set of sporty red cracks across it. Its meant to look threatening, unnerving. He looks like a dropped celebration egg.   
“Good morning to you too, Ben,” I say, smoothing the shirt.  
“You will address me as Lord Ren.” He says, the mask once again distorting his voice. I don’t reply which irritates him. “Come with me.”  
He turns with a dramatic swirl of his cape. I follow him as I have little choice but he doesn’t take me far.   
He takes me to a small meeting room not far from the medical center. It’s dark but he doesn't call for the lights. Drama, he does so love drama.  
“X5, while you have been asleep I have looked over the records of the former Supreme Leader.” He stands by the window so he is silhouetted against the stars.   
“Anything interesting?” I say and he motions for me to sit down. I do so and he takes off the stupid helmet.  
“It seems that Snoke was lying to us in many ways. Plans, schemes, and outright falsehoods.” He says as he sets the helmet down. “You should know some of it. It's your right as the-” He halts.  
“As the one who killed him. It’s alright.” I say and he nods.  
The door opens and in the light stands the man I wanted to see.   
“You wanted to see me, Supreme Leader?” Armitage doesn’t see me until he walks further in and the door shuts behind him. I feel his relief and happiness, I would love to wrap my arms around him, to bury my fears in his embrace but the wave of fear and shame from him and Ren both frightens me.   
“Yes, General. I felt you should be here as I explained my findings to X5.” He motioned for Hux to sit but he chose to stand against the wall instead.  
“Well? What did you find?” I ask him and he sighs. This is the man I know from private. Before he tried to claim me as his own before his anger drove him to hurt me.   
“It seems Snoke was hiding rather a lot regarding you.” He begins. “He didn’t purchase you, never even tried. He had a contract for you just as your former master did.”  
“I knew that already,” I explain and he smiles briefly at me.  
“Of course you did.” He says. “He was also aware of your capabilities from the outset but waited to see if our… association would make it more powerful or not.” He’s being diplomatic.   
“Whatever caused it I can do things now I never could,” I say and he nods.   
“At the time of his death, he was negotiating with the Hutt clan to purchase you outright.” He said and I sigh.  
“I guess I was worth it,” I say.  
“Which brings me to another matter,” he says, all business. “General Hux are you aware that he recorded all meetings in his throne room?” He asks and I turn, wide-eyed at the guilt that flared from my lover.  
“I hardly see how that is relevant.” He said quickly and I turn back to Ren.  
“What recordings?” I breathe. Ren reaches out to press a button. Armitage calls out for him to stop but is too late.  
A holographic screen lights up with a view of the throne room from above. I see myself convulsing in midair. The timestamp marks it even if I couldn’t remember myself. It was the day Starkiller was destroyed.   
I watch Armitage stand and watch as I twitch and shriek. I can hear my voice. Armitage looks unimpressed, even bored.  
I watch myself hit the floor with a groan.  
“Well, it seems X5 had something to do with the attack.” Snoke chuckled, I clenched my fists at his voice. “Your desires got you in trouble there didn’t they, girl?”  
“Sir?” Armitage looks unsure in the hollo.  
“She went seeking Ren for one of their sordid little meetings and ran straight into the rebels. To her credit, she resisted but then showed them how to destroy her invention.” I could hear his tutting. “Get her out of here.” I watch two of his guards drag me away.  
“Sir, looking over the reports it seems some of the base can be salvaged. Ren is recovering already and we have a lead on the rebel’s whereabouts. We will come back from this, stronger than ever.” Armitage’s confident voice echoed around the throne room and Snoke clapped with a grin on his face.  
“Well said, General. You have my authorization to begin the appropriate movements.” He sat back in his chair as Armitage saluted and waited to be dismissed. “However I have another task for you.” He looked thoughtful.  
“Sir?” Armitage looked hungry for the task.  
“That girl, X5. She’s too valuable to allow to escape.” Snoke mused.  
“We can have another tracker put on her.” Armitage looks confused, even from above.  
“No. Better to have her stay of her own accord.” I swallow at that. As if I can predict the blow to come.  
“What would you have us do?” Armitage’s response is eager, he wants approval.  
“She needs a reason to stay. A person that she cares for enough to be loyal to the First Order. In short, General, you will be that person.” He says. I hear Armitage clench his fists inside his leather gloves behind me.  
“Sir? What of Ren? They already have a relationship and you say she’s fairly committed.” He’s trying to deflect it, a spark of hope flares in me.  
“No. Her relationship with Ren is tainted by his ill-advised fumbling at forcing her to care for him. She needs to feel-” He scoffs “Cherished. Loved.” He laughs darkly. “I think you can play the part.”  
“But sir-” Armitage protests.  
“That's an order, General.” Snoke staps and Armitage salutes immediately.  
“Yes, sir. Immediately.” He says and Snoke dismisses him.   
Ren cuts off the recording there.  
I only realize I’m crying when a tear falls to the table in front of me. I feel hollow.  
“Is it true?” I gasp between hard silent sobs.  
“You bastard!” Armitage has squared up to Ren, his face glows with guilty anger.   
“Tell her the truth, Hux,” Ren says sharply. “That’s an order.”  
“Is it true?” I say again. He kneels in front of me and tries to grab my hand but I snatch it away. I stand up quickly, pushing over the chair and backing away from him.  
“Yes. I was ordered to be with you.” He relents. He’s telling the truth. “But It wasn’t what you think!” He stands and tries to come closer.   
I lash out, a slap across his face with every last ounce of strength in me. He reels to the side away from me but he’s turned cold. He hates himself and Ren but not me.  
I feel smug triumph from across the room and I glare at the Supreme Leader.  
“Why now? Why tell me now?” I snap. I wish I could use the force like he did without help from another. I wanted to throw them both through the window into the vacuum of space.   
“You deserved to know.” He’s hiding something. A final blow.  
“If he was ordered to seduce me then you were ordered to break up with me.” I deduce. He doesn’t deny it. “You hate the idea that I fell for him.”  
“Of course.” He admits. Armitage stood to the side, silent though I could feel his turmoil.  
“And now you’re giving me back to Wabb. Aren't you?” I hiss. I can see it as though it was written on his face.   
“Wait. You’re sending her back to the Hutt’s?” Armitage finally speaks, he’s sincere. He didn’t know.   
“Yes. A transport from the Hutt Clan will be here within a few hours to take you back to them. Your contract was terminated. You are no longer the property of the First Order.” He seems to surprise himself. He’s not as happy as he thought he’d be. I can’t say I give a damn.  
“Then as a free citizen of the galaxy let me say this. Fuck the First Order.” I growl. I push at him with all my strength. He winces at the feel of my influence. “Fuck the Sith and the Jedi and the Godamn Force!” I’m shouting now. “Most of all Fuck you, Ben Solo.” His eyes almost glow with anger as I once again use his true name. “Get the hell out of here before I take that stupid melodramatic light stick you call a sword and shove it up your arse like I did Snoke!”  
He flees, terrified. Not his true reaction. In reality, had I allowed him to think clearly he might have just cut me down with the very lightsaber I threatened him with and flushed my remains into space.  
I made him scared. I pushed every button in his head to make him fear me at that moment. Perhaps what scared him most was the truth that he could not have killed Snoke without me.  
“Xia.” A whisper behind me.  
“Was any of it real?” I ask, not turning to him.  
“Yes. Please, look at me.” He pleads and I turn. “Never intended to hurt you.” He says to my face. “I only wanted you to be safe. I told you the truth.” He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. “I love you.” He says softly. I search him. He’s telling the truth, he’s sincere. It's bittersweet and awful.  
“It was a dream, General.” I take back my hand and he lets me go. “A stupid, vapid, beautiful, impossible dream.”  
“I know I hurt you but I would tear every star from the sky if it would make you forgive me.” He gestures to the void outside as he speaks with the same passion that he once spoke to the whole First Order. I almost smile. Poetry.  
“I’m just a slave, General. Don’t waste your time on me.” I say and reach for the chain around my neck. “You should have this back. Wabb will just take it from me anyway. Save it for someone worth your time.”   
I take his hand and put the gem in it before leaving him there and heading to the door.  
“Goodbye, Xia.” He whispers and I feel his utter despair like a whirlpool. I don’t look back.  
“See you around, General,” I reply and leave him alone in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
> 
> Don't worry. This isn't the end.


	35. Chapter 35

In the hall, two troopers stand waiting with some handcuffs. Of course, I wouldn’t be allowed the freedom of the ship till my escort arrives. Makes sense. Especially as I’m smart enough to know what systems to break and how.  
I nod and turn so they can put them on me, I don’t resist. I feel their relief that I’m not up for a fight. What would be the point?  
They lead me to a waiting area in one of the docking bays and stand guard by me while we wait. They have word it will be an hour or so till the ship arrives. I ask to sit down and one obligingly pulls over an old crate for me to sit on.   
It's oddly peaceful sitting here. I’ve been with the First Order for a little over a year now, strange how familiar it all looks. I look around at the carefully ordered movements of the workers and fall into somewhat of a trance. I’m trying to keep my thoughts dull. To not focus on what just happened. I’m so angry that I’m numb.  
I start listing what happened in my head so I can report to Wabb concisely. He’ll want to know everything and it's easier if I’m quick.  
I found out that some engineers were skimming off the top.  
I fucked The Dread Lord Kylo Ren.  
I designed and built a system for the most powerful weapon ever conceived.  
I saved General Armitage Hux’s life.  
I helped a friend escape.  
The weapon worked.  
I helped destroy the weapon and witnessed the death of wanted criminal Han Solo (Wabb would want a lot of detail on that part).  
I saved The Dread Lord Kylo Ren’s life.  
My tracker cuff was broken.  
I fucked General Armitage Hux.  
I broke up salvage for months.  
I brokered a multi-million credit deal for Domovite, with a major discount.  
I killed Supreme Leader Snoke by using The Dread Lord Kylo Ren’s body as a puppet.  
I aided in the escape of the Leader of the Rebellion General Leia Organa (I’ll bet Wabb has me flogged for that bit).  
Oh, and let's not forget:  
I got fucked over by Supreme Leader Snoke, The Dread Lord Kylo Ren, and General Armitage Hux.  
An eventful year to say the least. Wabb would probably lock me in a cell with a datapad to get me to try and replicate every bit of tech I’d seen.   
I was determined to hide my newfound abilities. The force was not something that would enrich my life, especially not in one of the Hutt’s slave camps. I’d push them down and down till they barely existed then I’d lock away that part of myself.   
The ship arrived, one of Wabb’s smaller junkers. It was a deep red and was clumsily designed. It landed and the ramp descended. Two Gand and a Rodian walk out to be met by some administrators. They speak for a minute before they’re pointed in my direction.   
I stand up and stretch my back as much as I can.   
“Time to go, is it?” I was so focused on myself I didn’t notice him approach but his distaste was palpable. I turn to look into the face of Pryde.  
“General.” I greet him without salute (mainly because my hands are cuffed but I doubt I would have anyway).  
“The slave girl finally goes back to the scrapyard where she belongs. Wonderful. I can see that Lord Ren will be an improvement over Snoke.” He’s surrounded by lackeys but he steps closer. The troopers on either side of me back off respectfully.  
“Remember this slave girl made your blasters fire and your engines run.” I retort and he grins.  
“All fire now that you don’t have to simper at your betters.” He invades my personal space, He’s trying to intimidate me. I don’t retreat. I want him to provoke me, I need him to. “You go on back to where you belong, little whore.” He hisses and his crowd of yes-men titter as if he’d just told a riotous joke.   
“You’re just angry you’ll never be as great as Hux or Ren,” I reply with a smile. “Not in the First Order or in bed.”  
He turns beet red and lashes out at me. That’s all I needed. I sidestep his clumsy punch and headbutt him with all my weight behind it. It hurts both of us but there’s a satisfying crunch as I break his nose with my head.  
He drops onto his arse with a cry and I stumble back. I can feel a bruise forming on my forehead but he’s covered in blood, clutching at his nose and shrieking muffled curses at me. I’m grinning like an idiot, by the stars, that felt good.  
The troopers help him to stand and he snatches his blaster from his hip and fires it at me.  
The blast freezes in midair between us. I should be dead if not for the Buckethead bastard that approaches us from the hallway.  
Everyone in the room has frozen to watch as he flings the bolt of energy into space and stalks towards us.  
“Lord Ren. I demand the execution of this filth!” Pryde screams.  
“Enough.” Ren walks past him to stand in front of me. He looks down at me through the slats of his helmet. “Consider it a gift to thank you for all you’ve done for the First Order that I don’t let him blast you to nothing.”  
“Let me out of these cuffs and I’ll show you my gratitude,” I reply with a grin.   
“Goodbye, X5.” He waves the crew sent by Wabb forward.   
“Go to hell, Ben,” I whisper before they drag me away.   
They bundle me aboard and trade the cuffs for a set of manacles attaching me to the wall of the ship.   
I get one last glimpse of Ren as the ramp rises and the ship takes off.  
The crew yammer at each other as we leave the fleet. They’re glad to leave so quickly and happy that it’s gone smoothly, though they have a small tale to tell their friends when we get back. A slave girl attacking a First Order officer isn’t something you see every day, not to mention Kylo Ren.  
My head hurts where I hit him but I’ll be happy to wear the bruise and lump with pride. I almost wish it would scar. That would be a story.  
My arms ache in the manacles. Ever have to hold your arms above your head for way too long? It’s agony after a while.   
The crew settles down, one watching me warily from across the room. If Pryde had killed me I would have accepted death. He was just the lightning rod to my anger anyway. Stupid pissant prick. However, I had no urge to die and wouldn’t give this group of delivery boys any trouble.   
My hands were just about numb when there was a rumble and some panicked squeaks from the pilot. I’m not fluent in his language by any means but I can tell fear when I hear it. Someone is firing at us.   
“Attention Junker. Power down your weapons and prepare to be boarded.” A voice over the comms. The crew shout at each other, seemingly unable to decide how to react, Junkers are slow but they have thick armor and I’ll bet they still have the shield enhancements I designed for the Hutt’s. If they’d reacted quickly they might get away but I hear the telltale clunk of another ship latching on. No escape now.  
I can hear a hatch opening somewhere and then blaster fire. Shouting and even an arrogant laugh from one of the invaders. It’s not long before they find me and I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes.   
The Resistance of course. It couldn’t just be pirates. It had to be the damned Resistance.  
They take out the rest of the crew and their leader hosters his blaster to take a look at me.  
“Well well, all tied up like a pretty present.” He says with a cocky grin. I recognize him. He’s the pilot that Eight-Seven took up with.  
“You must be monumentally stupid,” I say and he cocks an eyebrow. He’s roguishly handsome but hurt as I am, I’m immune to his charm. “Stealing from the Hutt’s is a bad idea.”  
“You are coming with us.” He says and one of his comrades runs forward to release me. I rub my wrists gratefully and look him over carefully.  
“It’s not like I have many choices is it?” I say. I never have a choice.   
“That’s the spirit!” They pull me to the connecting hatch and pull me aboard their ship. I know it even though it’s all new to me. The Millennium Falcon in all its glory.  
I’m hustled to a sitting area where a near-ancient protocol droid is panicking. I’m forced to sit down and then left alone as the ship detached. I feel the impact as they fire on the now empty ship. They want it to look like I’m dead.   
“Oh my! What on earth is going on!” The droid says to itself. It seems to notice I’m there suddenly and turns its golden face to me. “My apologies, miss! I am CP30, welcome aboard the Millennium Falcon. May I ask your name?”  
I realize I can’t answer him. I’m not X5 anymore.  
“Don’t have one,” I reply and he seems flustered. I’ve always liked the C-series droids, so easily bothered.  
“I thought it was X5?” The pilot emerges from the doorway, the orange and white jumpsuit is a dead giveaway but I’d know him anywhere.  
“Not anymore. You’re Poe, right?” I say and he dramatically bows to me with that roguish grin.  
“The one and only.” He straightens and settles his hands on the straps of his suit. “So what do we call you?”  
“I don’t care. Where are you taking me?” I ask and his smile wavers. Against my better judgment I let my senses free. There are six people aboard. Five humans and the Wookie. Poe is troubled but determined.   
“Ajan Koss. There’s a couple of people there who want to talk to you.” He says, meeting my eyes.  
“More than talk I’d imagine.” I lean back against the bulkhead, the ship smells. Not bad just of old metal and aging sealant. It feels homey compared to the ships I’m used to now. Less shining order and more normality.  
“That depends on your answers.” He replies and I can’t help but smile. He’s a little scared of me.  
He leaves and I decide to get some rest. Who knows how long it will take to get there. The damned fools haven’t bound me in any way, but who cares? I’m done fighting, for now.


	36. Chapter 36

Ajan Koss, it turns out, is a small planet covered in lush jungle. It’s humid and uncomfortable but I’ve been to worse places. I’m led off the ship at blaster-point, the crew is greeted by many friendly faces. It’s a little painful to feel the overwhelming level of relief and joy at our arrival. I stand in the center like a rock in a river.   
“Poe!” A familiar voice calls out and I turn.  
Eight-Seven approaches at a fast trot and clasps arms with the pilot before he even notices me. “X?” He breathes and I smile at him. He dashes forward to hug me, twirling me around. It's wonderful and I cry out happily as he roars aloud how happy he is to see me, to know that I’m safe, he compliments my hair and even points out that I’ve lost weight.  
“It’s good to see you again.” We’ve been joined by the doe-eyed scavenger girl. She looks uncomfortable but smiles at me and offers me her hand. I shake it, feeling her apprehension seeping out of her eyes. “You need to come with me.”  
She leads us through a shanty town of makeshift tents and ships, all the while Eight-Seven babbles about whats been going on. He tells me about his friend Rose, the one who saved him from himself, about Canto Bight, about his attempt to sneak aboard the Supremacy.  
Rey takes us to a larger tent, more sturdy construction, with various power leads snaking into it. She pushes aside the curtain and an older woman with elaborately braided hair turns to us. General Organa.  
I’m urged inside to stand in front of her. She doesn't smile at me, I’m glad. I couldn’t have borne it if she did.   
“You must be X5,” She says and I click my heels together and bow slightly.  
“No longer, ma’am. I am whoever my master chooses me to be. Call me what you want.” I say and she looks a little amused, I can’t read her emotions, she’s locked them away.  
“Leave us.” She says gently to the others. They protest, mostly due to curiosity I’d imagine, but she waves them away. I feel them hesitate as the tent closes but they leave.  
I keep my arms tucked in the small of my back and stand to attention.   
“You have no idea how many people her would call for your execution if they knew who you are.” She says as she settles into a seat.  
“With respect, ma’am, I can guess,” I reply.   
“You built that weapon, you’re responsible for the deaths of millions.” She folds her hands in her lap, she is graceful and calm but I catch a glimpse of the torrent beneath.  
“I did more than that,” I say and she raises an eyebrow, waving a hand for me to elaborate. “I fixed their blasters, that must account for thousands more, not to mention securing a shipment of rare minerals that will allow them to upgrade.” I look at the ground rather than her. I’ve made my peace with the advancements I gave the First Order, whining about it or denying it would do nothing. “But your hands are no cleaner than mine.” I meet her eyes then. She and her son share an eye color, their faces are the same shape and I see her poise in him.  
“I suppose not.” She replies with a sigh.   
“He misses you,” I say softly and she recoils. “Your son, Ben. He thinks of you.”   
“You know him?” She asks in shock. She hasn’t been told. Eight-Seven didn’t tell her who I was to Ren.  
“I was his-” I struggle to word it, it feels wrong to be crass to this woman. “His lover, for a while. Snoke played a terrible game with us.”  
“Rey tells me you had a hand in his death, though she doesn’t quite understand it.” She’s changed the subject.  
“I can use the force, but not like her. I can feel what people are feeling, see through their eyes, and communicate with them. I can slip into someone's mind, if they allow me to, and use their powers as my own.” I explain. “I used your son’s power to kill Snoke, he didn’t even realize it was me until the blow had been dealt.”  
“Is that how you helped her to clear our escape?” She stands to look me over.   
“Yes. I can’t move things on my own but I loaned her my strength. It nearly killed me to do so.” I say as she walks around me, looking me up and down.  
“Thank you, for both things.” She says, stopping behind me.  
“I didn’t do it for you,” I say and I can feel her tense behind me. “Snoke deserved to die, for many reasons, but I killed him for myself. Freeing you, that was to spite your son and to honor the man who bought you time to escape.”  
“Luke.” She whispers.  
“I only saw his shadow but I could see the man he was,” I say and she walks around me.   
“He was a good man.” She says softly, turning her back to me. She doesn't want to look at my face.   
“Why am I here, General? Poe could have shot that ship out of the sky and very few would have mourned me. I’ve been scraping salvage for months and in a coma for three weeks, I can’t tell you of their plans.” I don’t demand an answer but the spark of pity I feel from behind her defenses makes me clench my fists. “What is so worth you provoking the Hutt clan?”  
“I think I provoke them simply by existing.” She offers me a smile and I see the wit that would have drawn men to her like flies to honey.  
“Very true.” I return the smile.   
“You are here because you might be the only engineer that can help us against the fleet, that and a few interested parties demanded you be brought here after we found out you’d been discarded by the First Order.” I chuckle at that, I can guess who those ‘interested parties’ were. “Will you work with us?”  
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” I say. “Most will assume me dead for the time being but if I emerge I’ll be hunted. By Wabb as a fugitive slave and by the First Order as a rebel.” I say and she nods.   
“There’s always a choice.” She looks concerned, as if she’s realized the position she’s put me in.  
“Not for me,” I sigh. “Where do I start?”


	37. Chapter 37

By the end of the day, I’m cleaning and fixing engines. I have a theory on how to upgrade their shields and they’ve given me a space to work in. Eight-Seven, Finn, pesters me for a while until I tell him what happened since we last saw each other.  
I leave out my relationship with Hux. It’s still too raw, the hurt.   
He and Rose tore Canto Bight apart only days after I left. I laugh at that and apologize for not helping when he was caught on the Supremacy.   
All the while a small round droid keeps bumping at my legs making inquisitive sounds. I pull open his main grasper unit and pull out a chunk of soil that had gotten lodged in there. It beeps its thanks before trundling off.  
“How do you always know how to fix stuff?” Finn asks, staring at me in open-mouthed wonder.  
“Just comes naturally,” I reply.  
Finn and Rey are the only friendly faces. The rest of the rebels react to me very differently. Their responses range from distrust and avoidance to outward hostility. I’m spat at, called a ‘scum-sucking whore’ and at one point a drunken man even attacks me.   
Finn tries to stick up for me, tells how I helped destroy the weapon I built and even how I killed Snoke. No one believes him.   
Rey is in awe of me. She tells me she felt my mind as it linked with hers, she said it was overwhelming yet calming. Like I was meant to be close to her.  
How do you respond to that?  
I worked for days on end in the stifling heat. I fixed and upgraded their ships and their computers, their communicators were back to full efficiency and their blasters were way more potent.  
I barely slept and didn’t eat, I didn’t want to.   
I was being badgered once again to take a rest by Finn when I heard it.  
A voice called across the years to strike fear into everyone around me. I rushed to the comms tent where the voice was being transmitted.  
General Organa was there, Poe steading her as the voice continued.   
“I know you can hear me, the people of this galaxy once rose to fight and the actions of one deluded fool condemned me to death. But I am beyond death. I am beyond life. I have come again to claim what is mine and to wipe out all who would oppose me.” I knew that voice. I recognized it from the various historical vids I’d watched on Starkiller. It couldn’t be real. “Hold your loved ones close, rebellious fools, for none will be spared when the Final Order arrives.”  
The voice cut off and the camp was silent.   
“General?” Poe asked her for guidance.  
“Back to work everyone, they want to scare us but we will be strong.” She said as she swept out back to her tent. I watched her go as did everyone else.  
“Who was that?” Asked Rose, she was a sweet young thing, horribly idealistic and very wary of me. I don’t answer but turn away to go after Organa.   
I need to know if it’s real, if that voice was real. There was only one way to know, though it would hurt.  
“General!” I call when we’re away from the others. She turns to me and in her shock she can’t hide how she is feeling, deep cold dread mixed with disbelief. “Let me help,” I say.  
She hears me out and helps me to set up. I sit on a bench in her tent, Rey stands nearby, she wants to see what I can do, to be honest, I’m curious too.  
I close my eyes to their worried faces and take a deep breath before letting my mind fly free.  
I can see them stood over me, watchful and frightened. I feel the rest of the camp, panic flickering like lightning through so many minds.   
I focus on the sky, the stars, remembering the voice that spoke. I search for something I’m unsure of and I’m flying up to meet the sky.   
I leave the plant and drift in space, it's hard but getting easier. I reach out and I can feel whole worlds full of life, ships in the distance, and the world below me pulsing. I’m searching, searching for something.  
I fly further and further. I touch the minds of so many in my search, Men, women, even animals.   
I touch something familiar, a mind I know well and I flinch from it. He doesn’t need to know me.  
At last, I find what I’m looking for, A distant world, shrouded by darkness and wracked by storms. I can feel the mind of the man who spoke. A man who should be dead. Is dead. His thoughts are cold and sharp and he is full of hate.  
Before I can retreat he sees me and my mind is dragged towards him. It’s a tide I cannot fight. Just like the day Han Solo died, I cannot resist the pull, though this time it has a purpose.   
I fight, screaming into the dark. I imagine every force-sensitive soul in the galaxy can feel my terror.  
He drags me down to his throne and holds me there like my physical body was there.   
“Who are you?” I whisper and he grins, eyes aflame.  
“You know the answer, girl.” He replies. “I have not seen your like in centuries but you know my name. Don’t you?”  
“Sidious,” I say and he laughs at the sky. The lightning answers him and I see others nearby, dark shapes in the shadows. There are hundreds of them. He is cloaked in darkness but his face is pale and hideous.  
“Yes! And you, one of the grey, I thought your kind extinct.” He twists his influence and I am pulled closer to him. I wonder if he can see my body or if I am just a specter to him. “Tell them I am coming. Tell them to fear, to cower, to cry. The Final Order shall rise and the flame of the rebellion will be extinguished.”   
He releases me and I run from him.  
“We will meet again, grey child. At the end of hope.” He calls after me.   
I slam back into my body and sit up with a gasp. There are many others gathered around me now, waiting for my answer, hoping I’ll tell them it’s a hoax, a lie concocted to make them scared.  
I’ve been crying, my face is wet with tears. I’m hurt, blood runs from my ears and nose. I’m tired, my lungs are aflame.  
“X5.” Leia Organa kneels next to me and takes my hand and looks into my face. The hatred she felt for me is gone. Replaced by awe. “What did you see?”  
“Darkness, and cold and death,” I reply, my voice cracks. “He’s there, Leia.” I use her first name and her eyes widen.  
“Everyone out!” Rey shouts and all but a few stragglers depart.   
I feel faint and my eyes droop but Leia pulls me out of it.  
“Who is there, X5!” She demands but I don’t want to say it. The mind I felt there as I fled. The ship approaching that damned world.  
“Ben.” I breathe.  
She steps away and I fall back to the floor where I must have fallen. I hear her run from me. The others stay.  
“What do you mean?” Rey stoops over me, big eyes wide.  
“Sidious.” I rasp. “Sidious has Ben.”   
She stands and looks at Finn. They look appalled, terrified.   
I roll over and try to get up. Finn helps me. I’m bone-tired, as if I ran all that distance instead of flying. They lay me in my barely used cot and leave me. I hear them comfort each other and I pull my loneliness around myself like a cloak before sleep takes me.  
I sleep for two days before a clamor outside wakes me.   
The falcon is landing, its on fire. I watch the camp turn upside down.  
“They’re back.” Rey is beside me.   
“Didn’t know they’d left,” I reply, grabbing a cup of water and downing it eagerly.  
“Come on.” She pulls me aboard and Poe emerges from the smoke.  
They argue about the ship and BB8. I smile at their bickering.  
“What happened?” She demands.  
“Bad news, that's what happened.” He says, flicking switches as he moves through the ship. I follow them both. No one but Rey has noticed I’m even there.  
“No spy?” She asks and I raise an eyebrow.  
“No.” He looks at her seriously. “Spy.”  
“Did we make contact with a spy or not?” She’s frustrated, I hide my amusement as does he.  
“There’s a mole in the First Order, and they sent us a message.” He says and my heart stops.   
“Let me see it,” I say and Poe finally sees me.  
“Good morning sleeping beauty!” He greets, Finn arrives and grins at me. “We haven't decrypted it all yet.”  
“Let me see it,” I say more forcefully. He points me to a computer nearby and I walk to it. My legs aren't too steady yet and I stumble. Poe catches me and helps me get there.  
“You sure you should be up?” He mutters and I huff at him.  
My fingers fly over the keyboard. It’s encrypted and the onboard computer had managed some of the work but I finished it.   
“From what we’ve already seen you were right, X, Palpatine is back,” Poe says behind me.   
The others deny it but he reinforces the truth. “He’s been planning his revenge. His followers have been building something for years. The largest fleet the galaxy has ever known. He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin.”  
The Wookie howls while I read the remainder of the message.   
“The Emperor and his fleet have been hiding in the Unknown Regions. On a world called Exegol.” Poe continues.  
“Exegol does not appear on any star chart. But legend describes it as a hidden world of the Sith.” The damn protocol droid pipes up.   
They leave together arguing about what they need to do next. I hear them go but don’t move. They don’t notice they’ve left me.  
The rest of the message is mostly fleet movements, supply lines, troop capacity. I search for anything that will tell me who the mole is. There’s nothing, they’ve been careful. Wiped any trace. I could name dozens of people who would have access to this information.   
“X?” Fin has come back for me. “Come on, we need to plan.” He leads me away from the screen. He sits me down in the lounge of the ship where Poe, the Wookie, the droids, and Rose are waiting.   
I know who we are waiting for. I know where she will want to go. I know I need to go with her. The others agree.  
Rey resists but relents in the end. It’s inevitable and she knows it. She’s looking for some old sith artifact that will lead her to Exegol. She has an idea where it might be.   
Rose stays behind. She and Finn share a moment before she leaves. She loves him. I feel it without looking. It's beautiful.  
“You sure you’re up for this, X.” Poe corners me after I’ve changed my clothes. A borrowed grey tunic and brown slacks, a wide belt with a tool kit, and solid boots.   
“Doesn’t matter,” I reply and he grabs my arm to make me look at him. He’s worried, I’m touched.   
“It does. You don’t have to do this.” He’s looking into my eyes. I pull away from him.  
“You didn’t see what I saw. He’s strong, Poe. So strong I don’t know if we can stop him. I know I helped him without knowing. If it kills me I’ll do what I can to stop him. I hate him.” I clench my fists. “He knew me, he saw who I am and what I am and waved that knowledge at me like a taunt. He’ll do the same to Rey. The difference is I don’t care. I’ll tear him apart with my bare hands if it stops him.” I mean it too.  
We set off to a desert world that Skywalker once thought to find the artifact we need. I sit silently, I don’t want them to interact with me. It hurts too much.  
’Grey Child’. That’s what he called me. I’ve looked into it before. Months of stripping salvage gave my mind little to do. I hacked into the computers then and read everything Snoke had on the force. The light side and the dark side, always a balance. Dark tries to overcome the light, light repels it, the dance goes on. There’s a third dancer. The grey.   
They walk the line between the light and the dark, separate from both and forcing them apart. Enforcers of balance. The Sith killed most of them. The Jedi killed the rest. Sith called them Jedi, Jedi called then Sith. They were neither. Their temples were destroyed or taken over. They were erased.  
I shook my head at myself. I meant it, if I had to strangle the life out of Sidious I’d do it. Then maybe I could rest.  
Passana was alive with music and color. A festival. Good. Easier to hide.  
A legend walks out of the crowd to send us on our way. Lando Calrissian, one of the best pilots in the galaxy. He doesn’t notice me and I do not speak. I could walk through this crowd and past the lurking troopers without notice. Slaves are rarely noticed. The others seem to shout out their presence to the world. Perhaps I should have convinced Rey to let me go alone with her.  
I hotwire some speeders for us and we take off into the sands. Troopers follow.  
By a lot of luck and a bit of quick thinking we destroy or outrun them. Rey spots our destination. She's conflicted, she knows the ship from somewhere.   
Before we can reach it we step into a quicksand trap.   
We struggle in vain before it swallows us up. On the other side are tunnels made by a great earth eating beast. I hear voices calling my name. They’ve settled on X now and I respond to it quickly.   
They argue about silly things. Both Finn and Poe have feelings for Rey but they’re muddied. They act out at each other like children. I walk on ahead but call to them as I find an old speeder. A mark 5 class, old, older than me, lodged in the tunnel. Its rider is sprawled on the ground, decayed and broken.   
Rey stoops to inspect him. She finds an oddly ornate dagger on him and we both feel it. It's important. She meets my eyes over the blade.  
“Awful things have happened with that,” I warn her. “There’s Sith writing on it.”  
“Perhaps I can translate.” The droid pipes up. Rey holds it out to him as I grab an old hex charm from the corpse and pocket it. It may yet be useful. “Oh. The location of the Wayfinder has been inscribed upon this dagger. It’s the clue that Master Luke was looking for.”  
“And?” Poe urges him to continue but I already know the problem.  
“Where’s the Wayfinder?” Finn pipes up and I turn away.   
“I am afraid I cannot tell you,” CP30 says, I can almost feel him trying to do it, his programming smashing against a firewall installed long ago.  
“20.3 fazillion languages, and you can’t read that?” Poe accuses but I turn to them.  
“It's in Sith. He can read it but he’s forbidden from translating it.” I explain.  
“Just so, miss.” He agrees.  
“Why the hell not?” Finn snaps.  
I open my mouth to speak when a great serpent flows from the wall. We scurry away from it and it coils in front of us, growling.  
The others debate blasting it but Rey steps forward. I see what she’s looking at, its hurt. She can heal it and then maybe it will let us go.   
But it will cost her and we need her strong. I lean on the wall and focus on the worm.  
“Let me help,” I whisper in Rey’s head. She looks up at me and nods. She siphons some of my lifeforce and gives it to the worm. It heals and growls deeply. I feel it regarding us for a moment. A flicker of thought, thanks, then it is gone.   
I slump and Rey catches me.  
“You shouldn’t have done that, you’re still weak.” She says as we scramble out of the hole and back into the sun.  
“But you’re still strong.” I retort.  
“Yeah.” She smiles at me.  
There’s a brief debate about returning to the Falcon but its vetoed as it will be under watch now. We head for the broken-down ship. I pull a panel and start ordering the others to fix systems.   
It's not long before I get the engine to hum to life. Poe offers me his hand to help me stand, in awe at my skill.  
“Where is she?” Finn Pipes up and I notice that Rey is nowhere in sight. Poe heads to the pilot's seat and starts to pull debris off it.  
“Give me a hand with this.” He asks Finn who nods.  
“Chewie, tell Rey we gotta go.” The Wookie growls but lumbers off.  
There’s something wrong, I follow behind but start walking away. I can feel Rey’s mind in the distance and head for it. There’s someone else.  
The second I recognize it I begin to run.  
“Rey! Stop!” I find her in the desert, a couple of hundred feet from Kylo Ren. I stand between them. “You don’t need to do this, either of you!” I shout.  
I feel it, a wave of relief from him, he thought I was dead. He’d mourned me. Right now I didn’t have time to care.  
“They got Chewie!” I hear Finn shout and hear the transport engine nearby kick into life.   
Rey reaches out without thinking and starts to pull at it with the force. Ren reaches out as well to try and pull it away from her.   
“Rey! You have to stop, you’ll pull it apart! I stand in front of her holding her shoulders, trying to block her view. “We’ll get him back. Rey. You have to stop you have to-”  
Without meaning to, she sends a shockwave of electricity to the ship. It explodes and I’m thrown back from her, every muscle contracting.   
“X!” She cries out and runs to me, pulling me up. The transport is gone, I can’t feel Chewbacca.  
“We have to go!” I say as she helps me back to the wreck of a ship.   
I can feel Ren watching us leave.  
“It was me, it's my fault.” Rey is broken, her eyes wide.  
“No, it was Ren. He made you do it.” Finn is trying to hold her together.  
“Chewie’s gone, I almost killed X. That power came from me. Finn, there are things you don’t know.” She’s pulling at her hair, desperate and upset. I sit next to her and let her fall against me, this seems to calm her slightly.  
“Then tell me,” he says but she buries her head in my shoulder.  
“She had a vision. Of the throne of the sith. Of how she’s connected to it.” I reply for her. At the moment I was struck by the lightning I saw in her mind what she saw. Finn turns away.  
I comfort her as best I can. I fear what she saw as much as she did but right now she needed me. I’m compelled to help her to hold her close just as I had Ren before he tore me apart.  
“What do we do now? Chewie had the dagger!” Finn blows out his cheeks. Grief needs to come later. I had little love for the Wookie but I knew that tears would fall for him.  
“We’ve got 8 hours left,” Poe says from the pilot's seat.  
“We gotta go back to base.” Finn sits next to him with a grunt.  
“We don’t have time to go back. We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing.” Poe is focused on the widows, I feel his anger at Rey, at Ren at the whole world.  
“Poe, Chewie had the dagger!” Finn hammers his fist on a panel nearby.  
“Well, then we gotta find another way.” They’re bickering again.  
“Well, there isn’t. That was the only clue to the Wayfinder thing, and it’s gone.” Fin is defeated, full of despair and grief.  
“So true. The inscription lives only in my memory now.” C3PO pipes up. I sit up. Of course.  
“Hold on. The inscription that was on the dagger is in your memory?” Poe turns, at last, to look at the gaudy droid.  
“Yes, Master Poe. But the translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved. That is short of a complete redacted memory bypass.” He gesticulates as he speaks and my throat goes dry.  
“A complete what?” Fin is confused but I feel it, all three of them. A spark of hope. I have to make it catch.  
“It’s a terribly dangerous and sinful act.... performed on unwitting droids by dregs and criminals.” The droid is offended we’d even ask but I’d wager he didn't know he was in a ship with one of those dregs.  
“I can do it,” I speak up and all eyes are on me. “I can do it but I need tools. Special fine ones.” I explain.   
“I know a droidsmith, would he have them.” Poe looks into my eyes and I nod. “But he's on Kijimi.” He turns back to the window.  
“What's wrong with Kijimi?” Finn asks, he’s excited again, almost bouncing in his seat.  
“I had a little bad luck on Kijimi. But if this mission fails, it’s all been for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time.” He throws a few switches, we’re changing course.  
“We’re all in this.” Finn looks over at me and Rey. “Until the end.”  
Rey takes my hand and smiles sadly.  
“For Chewie.” I nod as the others agree.  
I search the ship for anything useful, there’s a tiny droid, dented and mistreated. Once online it twitters at BB8 and C3PO but seems harmless. There are no weapons, no tools, and nothing really of use. I pocket a pair of gloves, a tattered black scarf, and a few pieces of scrap that may be helpful in the future. Rey plays absently with the little droid, D-O it’s called.  
“I’m sorry.” She says to me, the men are in the cockpit, they shouldn’t be able to hear us. “I should have listened to you, I just-”   
“You got angry,” I say, stooping down and fixing a trailing wire hanging from the back of the droid, it thanks me.   
“Yes.” She says.  
“Well, I can’t blame you, just try not to zap me again please.” I try to joke and she smiles a little. I need to keep her strong, what I saw in her head was terrifying.


	38. Chapter 38

Kijimi is a shithole, a stupid, frost-covered, merc infested shithole.  
I recognize it now. I was sent here for three days once to fix a bounty hunters ship. He was an arse and I hated the planet. I hate it even more now.   
We scramble around the frozen streets, avoiding First Order patrols. We head down an alley and get intercepted by a woman in a mask. She’s amused.  
She’s an old flame of Poe’s after a bit of an argument she leads us around the patrols to a workshop. Poe has a quick angry conversation with the little creature who ran it while I make myself at home.   
I pull C3PO down to sit in front of me while I open the back of his head with the fine tools the droidsmith has here. I realize he’s not arguing anymore and is watching me work. I glance at him and he nods. He’s happy to watch me work.   
“I haven’t the faintest idea why I agreed to this. I must be malfunctioning. I must be malfunctioning.” The droid mutters to himself, I smile as I look through his functions carefully. I’m surprised by how much data there is. He must have been active for at least 40 years. There’s evidence of a clumsy memory wipe but it’s like looking into someone's head and seeing all their memories tucked away neatly in little boxes. I find it, the forbidden memory bank. There’s more in there than there should be, the wiped memories no doubt, but I find the most recent. A translation from Sith.  
“Got it,” I tell the others who are hanging around.  
“Can you make him... X, can you make him translate it?” Poe asks, his ladyfriend hanging around looking at us in curiosity.  
“Yes but.” I hesitate. “There’s a trip here. If I do it will cause…”  
“A complete memory wipe.” C3PO finishes for me.   
“Yeah, that,” I confirm.  
“Wait, wait, wait. We make him translate it... he won’t remember... Anything?” Poe says and the others look uncomfortable. I know why what I’m suggesting is nothing short of murder.  
“I might be able to bring him back. That other droid, the R2 unit. It’s got backups.” I try and reassure them.   
“Oh, please. R2’s storage units are famously unreliable.” C3PO is thinking, I can see him thinking almost like I was in his mind instead of just his head.  
“You know the odds better than any of us. Do we have a choice?” Rey touches his arm and he looks at her.  
“If this mission fails.... it was all for nothing. All we’ve done.... all this time.” I can see the memories he’s accessing. Images of people he’s known, things he’s done. Several forbidden files flicker as he even tries to look at them. I wonder who they were, the people he was forced to forget. I see him focus on each of them in turn. First Poe, then Finn, then Rey and BB8, finally he turns to look at me.  
“What are you doing 3PO?” Poe asks.  
“Taking one last look, sir.... at my friends.” He replies and damn it I almost tear up.   
There’s noise from outside. The others turn to it, I need to work now, I need to be fast.  
I power down C3PO and start removing the walls around his databank one by one. It’s hard but I’m good. The droidsmith hands me the right tools without being asked. He’s impressed by me.  
Distantly I can hear Rey and Finn talking, something about her parents but I need to concentrate. One wrong move and the system will just delete the data.  
The door bursts open just as I remove the final block.  
“There's an incoming Destroyer.” The masked woman huffs.  
“We gotta go now. Did we get it? X?” Poe looks at me.  
I stop, hand hovering over the switch. If I throw it everything C3PO has ever seen or heard or felt will be gone. He’s right, I might not be able to restore him. I can me him wake up but he won’t be him anymore.   
“X!” Rey snaps and I do it.  
“The Emperor's Wayfinder is in the Imperial vault. At Delta 3-6, Transient 9-3-6, Bearing 3-2.... on a moon in the Endor system. From the southern shore. Only this blade tells. Only this blade tells.” His voice is dull, deep, wrong. The second he stops speaking he falls limp.   
I killed him. I’ve killed so many it shouldn’t matter but this was personal.  
I feel empty and so guilty but he was brave.   
“Rey! Ren’s destroyer!” Finn calls and I snap out of my stupor. He’s right, I can feel Ren getting closer. We need to wrap this up. I turn the switch again and C3PO’s systems flicker back on. He’s a blank slate.  
“Chewie?” Rey mutters looking up. I catch her thoughts and throw my senses upward.   
“I feel him too,” I say and she grins madly at me.   
“He’s alive, on Ren’s ship,” Rey explains to the others.  
“We gotta go get him!” Finn exclaims and Rey agrees.  
“Your friend's on that sky trash?” The masked woman interrupts.   
“I guess he is.” Poe softens whenever he looks at her, definite affection there.  
“Might I introduce myself? I am C-3PO, Human Cyborg Relations. And you are?” C3PO has powered up fully. He stands and addresses Poe who looks at me with exasperation.  
“OK, that’s gonna be a problem.” He says before we hustle out of the workshop. I call my thanks to the droidsmith and tow the newborn droid along with us.   
Somehow we make it back to our ship and the masked woman gives Poe a code medallion. We can only pray that it works but someone is listening. We’re given clearance and land safely. Rey orders the Droids to stay put and despite a little resistance they do. I wrap the dead sith’s scarf around my head, I don’t need to be seen. I’m meant to be dead after all.  
Almost immediately we are cornered by two troopers but Rey uses her abilities to make them compliant. I wonder if I can do that. That would be useful. Imagine. Pryde go scrub the floor with your tongue!  
They tell us where Chewbacca is being held but Rey halts in her tracks.   
“The dagger is on this ship. We need it.” She says and I nod.  
“Why?” Poe is anxious, he wants to get out of here quickly.  
“The translation. ‘Only this blade tells’” I say and she nods. “We may still need it. Do you know where?”  
“I have a feeling. I’ll meet you at the hanger.” She turns to leave but I catch her arm.  
“Go slow, stay out of sight, and call out to me if you need help,” I say slowly, meeting her eyes and pushing my mind against hers. She clasps my hand and nods before running off.  
“You can’t just!” Finn tries to go after her but I pull him back.  
We sneak through the ship, I guide them as best I can. Finn and I both know capital ships like this one but it’s still a maze. At last, we reach the holding cells.   
Chewie bursts from the cell but I can feel the troopers closing in on us. I urge them to move faster. I’m trying to keep one eye on Rey as she creeps through the ship but it’s a struggle.   
Baster fire erupts around us, the others return fire and argue about which way we’re going.   
Poe takes a shot in the arm and we’re barely staying ahead of them.   
I can feel Rey reach Ren’s quarters. She’s a mess inside, so much conflict, so much anger.  
We take cover behind a pillar, I’m about to ask for a blaster for myself when it hits.  
Rey is having a vision and her despair drags me in like a riptide. I struggle to keep some control over my body but all I can do is slump against the wall and whimper. I hear Finn call my name, but it’s distant.  
I see her parents, the dagger, her being left on Jakku. Her mind links with Ren, I struggle. I don’t need to see this, I need to fight.  
I hear them clearly but I can’t see them. My eyes are open but I can’t move.   
A trooper grabs my arm and drags me along with Poe, Finn, and Chewbacca. My legs move, I can barely walk but I’m moving.   
“Tell me where you are. You don’t know the whole story. It was Palpatine who had your parents taken. He was looking for you. But they wouldn’t say where you were. So he gave the order.” I hear him say to her. I know what he’s saying and so does she. I hear the echoes of her parent’s death the same as she does.   
“Get out of there!” I snap and she hears me, turning as if to look for me.  
“The Slave can’t help you know. Tell me where you are.” Ren says and I finally manage to pull away.   
I regain my control as we’re being shoved in front of an all too familiar face. I hang my head to hide my identity.  
“Allegiant General, the scavenger is not with them.” A trooper behind us says. Al lI can see are grey trousers and shiny black boots.  
“Take them away. Terminate them.” I smile to hear the nasal note to Pryde’s voice. His nose must still be healing.  
We’re pulled to our feet and marched away. I trudge after them. My consolation is that Pryde will only find out he missed the opportunity to kill me after I’m dead.   
Finn and Poe bicker all the way to the Airlock. I suppose they plan on shooting us then flushing us straight out into space. Efficient bastards.   
“Actually, I’d like to do this myself.” I hear his voice and I freeze. I peer out from under my hood to see him. His hair is slicked back as perfect as ever. His uniform is immaculate and the corner of his mouth quirks slightly as one of the troopers hands him a blaster.  
“What were you gonna tell Rey before?” Poe turns to Finn while our executioner checks over the weapon he’s been given.   
“You still on that?” Finn snaps back. Should I reveal myself? What would he do?  
“Oh, I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” Poe’s retort makes me roll my eyes.   
“Yeah. Sort of is a bad time, Poe!”  
“Well, 'cause later doesn't really look like an option. If you're gonna let something off your chest, maybe now's not the worst time to....”  
Two shots. The troopers fall. My breath hitches.   
Hux steps over them with a smug look on his face.  
“Now don’t look so surprised. I’m the spy.” He holsters the weapon and steps closer.  
“You?” Finn and Poe say in unison and Chewbacca growls.  
“We don’t have much time,” Hux says as she frees our hands, he doesn’t see me.  
“I knew it!” Poe grins.  
“No you didn’t,” Finn says as Hux turns away with a roll of his eyes.  
“I did,” I speak up and he halts, turning back slowly and coming to standing front of me. I pull the scarf away and look up at him. “Armitage.” I breathe.  
It’s like time freezes as he looks at me.  
He lunges forward, pulling me into his arms and crashing his lips on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck as he fists one hand in my hair and presses me to him with the other.  
“Uhh… excuse us?” Finn interjects and we separate. Armitage coughs embarrassedly and points down the hall before walking ahead of us.  
“This way.” He says and we follow.  
“Armitage?” Poe mouths at me and I blush.   
He leads us through the bowels of the ship, careful for us not to be seen, and round to the docking bay where the Order has stored the falcon.  
Finn takes off for it with Chewbacca. There’s no one around.  
“I'll shut down the impeders. You've got seconds.” Armitage hands his blaster to Poe. “Now, shoot me in the arm.”  
“Wait! No!” I snatch the blaster from Poe. “Go to the ship, start her up, I’ll be there,” I order him and with one last leery eyed look at Armitage he bolts.  
“What are you doing here?” Armitage looks unsettled, embarrassed by his previous reaction to me.  
“I could ask you the same thing,” I say and he can’t meet my eyes.  
“I thought you were dead. We had reports that your transport was destroyed, I was convinced that Ren did it out of spite. I didn’t care who won anymore, I just wanted him to lose.” He says and I reach up to cup his face, he covers my hand with his.  
“Come with us,” I say and he closes his eyes.   
I feel his conflict. The First Order is all he’s ever known. I understand.  
“Xia.” He whispers and kisses my fingertips.   
“I forgive you, Armitage,” I say and he looks at me at last. “I’ve been dragged around my whole life. Never got a choice in what I did. I still don’t.” I try and explain.  
“Xia.” He says again.   
“I love you, Armitage Hux. I don’t have much time left but what I have I want to spend with you. Come with me, please.” I say and he pulls me to him for another desperate kiss.  
“Yes.” He says between kisses. “I’m not losing you again.”  
I pull him to the ship, pausing to lower the impeders.  
“What’s he doing here?” Poe asks as we enter the falcon.  
“He’s with me, Dameron. Let's go get Rey.” I say and he storms off.  
“They’ll all hate me out there,” Armitage says to me with a slight smile.  
“Not all of them,” I say and reach for him again.  
A sudden pull on my mind makes me cry out. He catches me as I fall.   
“What’s wrong?” He demands as Finn rushes to us.  
“Poe! Go! Docking Bay 14!” I shout.  
I can feel her being hunted, She’s calling out to me. So many troopers and of course there’s Ren, stalking towards her, taunting her with snippets of her identity.  
I do the only thing I can to help. I sidestep into a random trooper’s mind and force him to fire on his comrades. It hurts. He resists even when he doesn’t understand what’s happening.   
Rey scrambles aboard the falcon when we reach her and we take off as fast as we’re able.   
“What’s he doing here?” She asks when she sees Armitage holding me as I regain myself.  
“She needs rest,” Finn tells him pointing to a bedchamber, there’s a tiny point of understanding between them. Both traitors to the order.  
I’m carried there and laid down.  
“They’ll never see me as anything but their enemy.” He says softly, watching Finn retreat.  
“Well, you have killed a lot of them.” I sit up. “And so have I.”   
He sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand.  
“What was that? I felt something odd then you just fell.” He asks, I try to push myself up but he won’t let me.  
“That, was the force,” I say and he looks incredulous. “Oh, it’s true. I’m no sword-fighting wizard but I can climb into people's heads and move them like a puppet master.” I laugh and close my eyes against the light. “It’s why Snoke was messing with me, using you and Ren to push me, make my powers manifest. That worked out well for him.”  
“You killed Snoke.” He says, eyes open wide in wonder. I nod.  
“I’m not good at it yet though so it takes a lot out of me.” I push up again and he compromises with me by sitting against the wall and pulling me to sit between his legs, my back against his chest.   
“You’re going after him. Palpatine?” He says as I twine my fingers with his.  
“Yes.” I sigh.  
“Why?” He asks, wrapping one arm around me to hold me tight to him. “Why not just run?”  
“He knows who I am and what I can do. He’ll come after me. Better to end it on my terms.” I feel him tense at that.  
“End it?” He echoes my words. “You don’t mean-”  
I turn to face him and touch his cheek.  
“I’ve got no intention to die, love, but I’m being realistic. This is a long shot for all of us.” I say and he looks into my eyes for a moment. “Wishing you stayed back with the Order?” I joke.  
He pushes me down onto my back and lays over me slowly.  
“No.” Is his answer before he starts to kiss me.   
It’s slow at first and then becomes more heated, our tongues swirl together and I moan softly as he lifts one of my legs to hook over his hip. I push off his jacket and he tosses it aside, his gloves follow quickly.  
He leaves a trail of wet kisses up my jaw and to that sensitive spot below my ear. I gasp and buck into him.  
A cough and we look up at Finn who is trying to look anywhere but at us.   
“We’re here.” He says and flees. I can’t help but laugh.  
We near enough crash land on the planet, Poe swearing all the while.  
“What did you do to my ship!” He accused Armitage who stayed silent.  
I give Armitage a more non-descript jacket to wear and a hat as we leave the ship. Better he not be recognized too easily. Kir Bir is a windy, rain covered world and there’s mist clinging to everything.  
We follow the coordinates to the edge of a cliff looking out on the ocean. Jutting up out of the waves is the wreckage of something big.  
“What is that?” Poe asks.  
“Parts of the Death Star. It must have landed here after the end of the last war.” Armitage answers and Poe looks at him like he just spits at him.   
“Great place for someone like you.” Poe snaps and walks further away.  
“It's gonna take us years to find what we're looking for.” He says to Rey.  
“The blade,” I say and she nods, pulling it out and examining it closely.   
“"Only the blade tells." The Wayfinder is there.” She points at an area far above the water. I agree, something is emanating from that point, it feels colder somehow.  
“Behind us.” Armitage hisses and we turn. There’s a troop of people approaching on some kind of animal. A pretty woman with curly hair and a slender build gets down to approach us, she holds up her hands to show she’s unarmed. I warm Armitage to keep his head down and he does as I ask.  
“Rough landing.” She says with a smile. Poe steps forward to speak to her.  
“I've seen worse.” He says with that roguish smile of his.  
“I've seen better. Are you Resistance?” She quips in return.   
“That depends.” He’s being cautious, good.  
“We picked up a transmission. They said you would come, said you were the last hope.” She looks at each of us, wide-eyed as if we were about to sprout wings and grant wishes.   
“We have to get to that wreck. There is something inside there we need.” Rey hasn’t taken her eyes off the remains of the space station.  
“I can take you there by the water.” The woman offers, I look down at the waves and shake my head.  
“Have you seen the water?” Finn says it for me.  
“Not now. Too dangerous. We can go first light tomorrow.” I close my eyes at that. No time, there’s never enough time.  
“We can't wait that long. We don't have the time.” Rey is still staring at the wreckage. I can feel her longing to get there.  
“Or the choice. Let's get that ship fixed. Do you have any spare parts?” Poe claps her on the arm and starts back towards the falcon.  
I stay away from them, the newcomers. I listen though.   
“They’re ex-troopers,” I tell Armitage as we huddle under the ship. I’m working on the landing gear. “They rebelled after an officer ordered them to open fire on a village full of people.”  
“Your point?” Armitage asks, handing me another part.  
“No point. Just letting you know in case they work out who you and I are and hang us from the wreckage over there.” I say and he smiles.  
“Not funny.” He says and I smile back at him.  
“Then why are you laughing?” I say, holding my hand out for another part.  
“X!” Fin comes rushing up to us, Poe following behind. “Have you seen Rey?”  
“I’ll bet this son of a bitch, knows!” Poe points at Armitage who doesn't respond except to glower at him.  
“Poe, back down before I put you on your ass!” I snap and he backs up. “Where’s Rey?” I ask.  
“I was hoping you’d know.” Finn deflates.  
I close my eyes and search.  
“She’s stolen a little boat of some kind. She’s headed for the wreck.” I say as I see her.  
“What the hell was she thinking?” Poe exclaimed, grabbing at his hair.  
“Poe, we gotta go after her.” Fin looks at me like I know what to do. I can only open and shut my mouth.  
“We'll get the Falcon fixed, and get out there as fast as we can.” Poe heads back towards the ramp.  
“No, we're gonna lose her.” Finn chases after him.  
“Look, she left us! What do you wanna do? Swim?” Poe rounds on him, all impotent anger  
And bluster.  
“She’s not herself. You have no idea what she’s fighting.” Finn says and I turn away to look out at the wreck, Armitage puts his hand on my shoulder. I’m thankful for his support.  
“And you do?” They’re still bickering.  
“Yeah, I do. And so does Leia.” Finn may as well be shouting at a wall.  
“Well, I’m not Leia.” They want to hit out at something, anything but they can’t.  
“That’s for damn sure.” Finn is almost crying now.  
“I can go after her,” I say and I feel their eyes on me.   
“What? You saw the water, it’s too dangerous.” Poe says exasperatedly.  
“You mean with the force don’t you?” Finn is calmer, I turn to them and nod.  
“Well come on then.” Poe is anxious so I sit down and focus on the water.  
Armitage sits behind me but doesn’t touch me. Having him there is good, it gives me an anchor.  
I close my eyes and search for her. I’m so used to her mind now it’s easy to find. I’m climbing beside her as she makes her way through the twisted remains. I let her know I’m there.  
“X?” She breathes, looking around. I confirm it with a slight tug to her mind. She carries on climbing.  
I may not know the layout of the Death Star but I know how the First Order builds things. This helps me guide her to where she needs to be. The former emperor's throne room is near enough where Snokes was on the Supremacy.  
Rey spots the vault and I reassure her I’m still there as she opens the door and steps inside.   
“There,” I whisper to her and she spots the Wayfinder, an ugly angular piece of tech amongst the rubble.   
The second she touches it I nearly scream. I feel my body convulse slightly and strong hands wrapping around to keep me grounded.   
There’s a vision of Rey as she would be. A Rey of the dark side.   
“Don’t be afraid of who you are.” It growls before attacking.   
“Rey, it’s not real. Breathe!” I call to her and the apparition vanishes.   
Unfortunately, the other dark figure holding the Wayfinder is very real.  
“Look at yourself. You wanted to prove to my mother that you were a Jedi.... but you've proven something else. You can’t go back to her now. Like I can’t.” Ren says to her and I so desperately want to make myself corporeal there, to slap him down.  
“Give it to me.” Rey holds out a hand and tries to pull the damn thing to her.  
“I can feel you, X5, show yourself. You should be here with us. The dark side is in our nature. Surrender to it.” He calls out to me and for a second I touch his mind.  
“Fuck you, Ben,” I whisper and he lashes out at me with the force. Just once but I feel it, a warning.  
“Give it.... to me.” Rey is sweating with the effort, I step back to lend her my strength but I’m too late.  
The bastard crushes it in his fist.  
“The only way you’re getting to Exegol is with me.” He looks so satisfied with himself.  
“No!”She screams and lights her saber, flinging herself at him.  
I follow them as they fight, I do my best to stop them from killing each other. Ren throws me away from them but I cling to their minds as best I can.  
I block them from falling out into the sea and Rey uses me as a pivot for her attacks. It’s hard work and I know I’m panting from the exertion as much as they are.  
I begin to despair, there's nothing I can do, they’re going to kill each other and there's nothing I can do to stop it. If they die he wins.   
I feel a presence, far off but strong. I know it. I home in on it and she’s there with me.   
She needs to reach her son but shes so far away and can’t reach him.   
“Let me help,” I whisper. I grab her hand and pull her to me. I feel her gratitude for a second before I help her touch his mind.  
The effect is immediate. He freezes.  
I try to stay out but she wants me to see. I see him as a child held in his parent's arms. Playing games with Chewbacca, being picked up and spun around by his uncle. Love, so much love I’m so jealous of that love.   
I pull away, try to disconnect. I don’t want it, to see someone who was so cherished throw it away. I’m distracted. Rey attacks, connects. I feel it as though the blow was meant for me.   
I feel Leia fade away, she’s dead. Her last thoughts were of him.   
He sits down heavily and Rey stands over him, conflicted. I feel it deep in her.   
“Let me help,” I whisper to her and she tries to shake me off.   
Ren looks up at her and I repeat myself loud as I can.  
She kneels and puts her hand to his chest.  
I let her pull at me, I give him my lifeforce. I know he feels me give it. He’s confused.  
I can’t hold on. The second he’s healed I have to leave them.   
I cough and look up at the underbelly of the Falcon. I’m in Armitage’s arms, he doesn’t rush me for answers like the others. He just holds me as I break down.   
I mourn for my broken childhood, for Leia, and just because I need to let it out.   
Chewbacca has emerged from the ship and he’s howling to the sky. He feels it, so does Finn. Poe is yelling into a radio.  
I pull myself up and turn to the sea, I stumble as I walk but I make it to the ramp.  
“We need to get back,” I say, I see my reflection. I’m grey and look awful but I’m walking.  
“But Leia is-” Finn starts and I stomp my foot.  
“The rebellion isn’t dead.” I snap and Armitage appears at my side to help me. “Rey’s gone somewhere and we need to be ready when she’s back.” I haul myself up the ramp but stop when I feel the briefest touch from someone familiar. Someone I barely knew but They see me.  
“Thanks, Kid.” The whisper is barely there but I know the voice. I nod and go back to dragging myself aboard.


	39. Chapter 39

I sleep through the flight back to the base. I could follow Rey, I have an idea where she went but, of course, I don’t even need a ship to get there, hooray for the force. I chose to go back to the base with Poe, Finn, and the giant hairy stormcloud that glowers at Armitage threateningly whenever he spots him.  
When we land there’s a lot of animosity towards us but it dies down once Armitage offers up his entire wealth of knowledge about the First Order and its movements. They may still string us up side by side at some point but there’s no time for lynchings now.  
I sit in the main command center with C3PO and that rather enthusiastic R2 unit. I’ve got them hooked up together to see if I can restore the gold droid. The R2 unit is angry with me, beeping incessantly in a tone that suggests I’m being berated for hurting his friend. I ignore it as best I can.   
Poe and Finn are trying to put together a plan with the other rebels, Armitage has had his hands tied behind him and he’s sat on a chair explaining the various weak spots on a Star Destroyer to a group of engineers and fighters. He looks serene, as if he weren’t bound and being interrogated.  
“There we go!” I find the connection that was broken and immediately begin the download of C3PO’s memory bank from the R2 unit. “He’ll be back to normal in a few minutes.” I pat the R2 unit and it shuffles indignantly at me.   
A shockwave knocks the smile off my face. I gasp and grab my chest. I’ve felt this before but it wasn’t as raw then. Damn those bastards.  
“Kijimi? How?” Poe is looking at a screen that shows exactly what I felt. Kijimi is gone. The whole planet wiped out.  
“They did it.” I breathe, he hears me and turns to look at me, wide-eyed.  
“Did what?”  
“They miniaturized my tech. My oscillators. That blast came from a Star Destroyer.” I point at the screen and a comms technician confirms it.  
“The Emperor sent a ship from Exegol. Does that mean every ship in the fleet....” The tech says softly, the room has gone quiet.  
“Has planet-killing weapons. Of course, they do. All of them. This is how he finishes it.” Poe finishes for them.   
I look at Armitage, he’s gone pale, he knows. This is our fault, the domovite.  
“Listen it’s on every channel,” Rose speaks up and touches a dial to turn up the volume on the console in front of her.  
"The Resistance is dead. The Sith flame will burn. All worlds, surrender or die. The Final Order begins." someone reads and I feel sick.  
I did this. My goddamn design and my goddamn deal.  
Sudden cold. Sudden pain. I can’t breathe, can’t feel my fingers. My mind is dragged out of my body forcefully. I feel my knees crack on the floor and am vaguely aware that someone is calling to me.  
I’m back there, in that awful dark place. People are looking at me, hundreds of black-cloaked people. It’s like I'm on stage at the most somber cabaret ever devised.  
“I know you feel it, Grey Child.” I don’t want to turn but he forces me to. Darth Sideous sits triumphantly on his throne of darkness and grins at me. “Despair.” He cackles at me.   
“You used me!” I try to scream but my voice is so small. “My designs, my work!”  
“But of course. Snoke saw your potential through Ren. A slave girl with the power to see the flow of the force. Who else could design my ultimate weapon?” He pulls me closer. I resist but he’s too strong for me. “And then you even find the resources needed to build my fleet. So useful.” He almost purrs at me, reaching out a gnarled hand to catch my chin in his fingers. I feel it, as if I were there physically. “You are to be commended, child.”  
“Shove it up your arse!” I snap and he laughs again.  
“Such fire! Your rage is a beautiful thing, a glowing ember in the dark. You care not for the force and yet you use it with abandon. Fascinating.” He turns my head this way and that as if looking for some imperfection. I have no idea what he sees but he seems pleased. “Come to me, child. Come and collect your reward. Cast off the grey cloak and turn to the dark.”  
He doesn’t give me a chance to answer him and hurls me back to my body.  
I gasp again, this is getting old.  
I sit up, I’ve been laid in the corner.  
The rest of the room is in shambles, people running to and fro, trying to hatch a plan.   
Poe And Finn are arguing with Armitage. He’s given them what they needed to mount an airstrike on Exegol but it’s not enough. Poe grabs Armitage’s shirt and pulls him forward, threatening him.  
“I’m terribly sorry. I’m afraid R2’s memory bank must be crossed with his logic receptors. He says he is receiving a transmission from Master Luke.” C3PO totters up to them, the R2 uni transmits something to the screens than they gather around it.  
“That's an old craft ID. That's Luke Skywalker's X-wing.” I pull myself up using a tent strut. Armitage sees I’m awake and steps towards me, I shake my head.  
“It's transmitting course marker signals on its way to the Unknown Regions,” C3PO explains and Finn whoops.  
“It's Rey.” He shouts looking closer. “She’s going to Exegol. She’s showing us. She’s showing us how to get there.”  
“Then we go together.” Poe clasps his friend on the arm.  
“Wait,” I say and they turn to me.  
“X? Are you okay, you blacked out on us there.” Rose steps forward to look me over.  
“It was him, Palpatine. He wanted to talk to me. To say thank you.” I spit in disgust.  
“For what?” Poe says carefully.  
“I helped him, those ships have my designs, my work,” I say and stumble forward to bring up a scan of one of the new destroyers on the screen. “My oscillators but not just that. I redesigned shields, blasters, hull integrity. All of it. It was all in my files on Starkiller, things I doodled in the margins of reports. It’s my fault.” I trail off. They’ve all stepped back from me.   
“X?” Finn shakes his head.  
“He showed me, there’s so many of them, so many but he was too wrapped up in himself.” I smile and they look confused. “Look here,” I point at the screen. “Even with my modifications, they can’t activate their shields till they leave the atmosphere. The storms prevent it. They’re vulnerable.” They start to understand, Rose smiles encouragingly. “For the same reason, they need help taking off, too much electromag in the air. Their sensors don’t know which way is up. There has to be a central guidance nav tower.” I search the schematics of the planet and find what I’m looking for. “Here!” I turn back to them. “Take out that tower and the bastard things will be vulnerable!”  
“How do we take them out?” Poe steps closer, I see it, the desire to fight, glowing in his eyes.  
“The Starkiller cannon!” Armitage pipes up and I nod, pulling the designs back up.  
“Right! A hit to the internals will rip the oscillators apart, the main reactor will blow. The damned thing will drop out of the sky!” The growing crowd seems excited.  
“That's our chance.” Lando Calrissian steps forward and grins at me, even with age he’s the handsome rouge from the vids I saw as a child.   
“Come on. That move is one in a million. Fighters and freighters can take out their cannons if there are enough of us.” Finn adds.  
“There aren't enough of us!” One of the other leaders says. Damned pessimists.  
“He's right. We'd be no more than bugs to them.” Adds another.  
“That's where Lando and Chewie come in.” Finn is grinning from ear to ear. “They’ll take the Falcon to the Core Systems. Send out a call for help for anybody listening.”  
“We’ve got friends out there. They’ll come if they know there’s hope.” Poe adds.  
I stay back, out of the way while they discuss the plan, give rousing speeches, and cheer.  
Armitage stands with me, we don’t speak to each other but I unbind his hands.   
“Poe!” I call out and the pilot turns to me before he’s pulled away by others.  
“What? X? Something else we should know?” He's happier with me, some of that distrust has broken down.  
“I can do something for you, get you more allies. People that aren't your friends.” I say and he raises an eyebrow.  
“Get me a comms link and I’ll show you.” 

They’ve given me a small link to the side of the main command center. Finn, Rose, and Armitage hang back out of sight of the camera.  
“Are you sure about this?” Rose asks as my fingers fly over the keys. I’m sending out hundreds of messages, to friends of mine, people I’ve worked for, fixed things for. The scum of the galaxy, the bounty hunters, the pirates, the slavers, the thieves and profiteers. I tell them what’s happening, that their way of life will end just as much as ours. I send images of Kijimi of the new destroyers, coordinates for Exegol.   
To the rebels' surprise, I’m getting replies.  
‘Affirmative, heading out.’ - from the bounty hunters of KX5  
‘Their souls will burn!’ - from the gladiators on Rumeda.  
‘On our way. Good Luck, Sparks.’ - Cameron Trax.  
“They’re coming?” Rose squeaks, looking over the messages.  
“This is their galaxy too. Do you think the sith will let them keep their planets? Their wealth? No way.” I say and Finn nods. “Wait, incoming comm link. Stay back guys, you might want to grab 3PO.” I look up into scared faces, Armitage knows who it is and shares a look with me. This will be fun.  
3PO is rushed in to stand next to me.  
“Whatever is going on?” He asks, flustered as always.  
“Just translate,” I say and hit the button to bring up the screen. “No hojo na beehee na, Wabb.” I say to the figure I see.   
“Long time no see, Wabb.” C3PO translates and the bulbous creature I’m speaking too laughs heartily.  
“Ney ishee tomo, gris. Hey maho beehee co maloo.” He replies.  
“I see you still live, girl. Its time to come home.”  
“She speaks Hutt?” Finn whispers, surprised.  
“She was raised by them,” Armitage explains.  
“Maloo no comle na Sith taboo.” I say and Wabb falters.  
“No home until I’ve wiped out the Sith.”  
“Sith? Na hojo beehee lampa Sith. Rus Final Order ram keela!” He bellows.  
“Sith? No sith for a long time. You mean this Final Order madness.”  
“Ya. Ib laro Palpatine. Ru suma Ik liss. Ir akki li.” I lean forward to the screen, Wabb is considering carefully.  
“Yes. It’s Palpatine. He’s using my designs. He didn’t pay.”  
“What? Pay?” Rose hisses.  
“Of course! Everything X makes is the property of her master. That means the Emperor owes Wabb a lot of cash!” Finn looks jubilant and I spare a smile for him.  
“Sono Organa?” Wabb asks carefully.  
“Ornana no lodo.” I reply.  
“What of Organa? Organa is dead.” C3PO hesitates before translating. He wasn’t aware of her passing.  
“Hutt dema losodo mit?” I smile and Wabb laughs.  
“I thought Hutt always collect what they are due?”  
“Lora keela, gris. Ro no na losodo milo.” He ends the transmission there.  
“You’re mad, girl. We will collect.” C3PO finishes his translation as I fire the details to Wabb.  
“What does that mean?” Rose nearly whispers.  
“The Hutt are with us,” I say and she runs out to tell the others.   
“You’re going after him, aren't you?” Finn says and Armitage steps away from him, clearly upset.  
“What do you mean? Hasn’t she done enough?” He snaps at the former trooper.  
“Of course she has! We all have done more than enough!” Finn snaps back, squaring up to his former commander. “But its never enough is it? People like you have to go throwing their weight around and hurting people! And for what?”  
“Finn.” I stop him before Armitage can retort. “Stop. He’s right, I’ve done a lot, unfortunately for both sides.”  
“You need to rest. Look at you!” Armitage steps towards me but I raise a hand to stop him.  
“Finn is right. I’m going after Palpatine. Rey needs me. I’ve done all I can here.” I stand and he grabs my wrist.  
“No! I won’t lose you again!” He says.  
“Finn, will you give us a moment?” I say before turning to Armitage.  
“Yeah, sure.” He slips away and pulls C3PO with him.   
I pull away from my lover and walk out, into the forest. I don’t need witnesses to this.  
“Xia! You can’t be serious!” He follows me.  
I walk until I’m sure we’re alone.   
“I am serious, very serious,” I say and he grabs my hands to try and pull me close.  
“You can’t beat him!” He says and I smile.  
“Why not? I beat Snoke.” that breaks through his anger and upset, he smiles back.  
“Yes. Yes, you did, I need to keep reminding myself that you shouldn’t be underestimated.” He looks at our hands. “No matter how flippant your attitude.”  
“It’s gotten me this far,” I say and he chuckles.  
“I have something of yours.” He reaches into a pocket and pulls out the gem he gave me. It was only weeks ago but feels like a lifetime.  
“You kept it.” I reach for it and he helps me put it on.   
“Of course I kept it. It was all I had left.” He looks at the sky. “Pryde killed Millicent and burned your blanket.” He says and my fists clench.  
“What!” I snap and he turns with a wistful look.  
“He broke into my quarters when we were on Canto Bight. He said he was looking for vermin and she was diseased, so he took the blanket too as it was ‘infected’.” He rubs his face to hide his eyes.  
“Well, now he has to die,” I say plainly and he laughs. He reaches out to cup my face, tears glittering in his eyes.  
“Do you have to go? I have a bad feeling about this.” He asks and I nod.  
I close the gap between us and kiss him. It’s desperate and needy and hot and all those things that I’ve always tried to avoid.   
He presses me back against a tree and his hands roam over me, he won’t leave my lips, however. It’s not long before anything standing between us is discarded.  
He lifts me against the rough bark and I wrap my legs around him, clinging on as he drives himself into me.  
He swallows my moans and cries as he thrusts against my hips with enough force to shake the tree. Such passion can’t last long and when I call out his name in bittersweet ecstasy he follows soon after.   
He lets my shaking legs down to the ground and covers me in kisses. I barely speak afterward, dressing and walking handing hand back to the camp. No one mentions it, the way we look disheveled and cling to each other. There are plenty of other couples doing the same.   
Finn points us to a small shuttle, I know its already armed and ready with my modifications. I hug him and he tells me he’ll see me soon. Rose hugs me too and even Poe after some consideration.  
No one says goodbye.  
Armitage takes off and we head towards the damned planet, the rest of the rebellion not far behind us.   
He shows me how to sneak past their sensors, a trick that would only work once. The winds are high but we’re below the fleet before they could ever spot us.   
I feel our way carefully, its colder here in person but I endure it.   
I spot the dilapidated old X-Wing and Armitage sets us down next to it and lowers the ramp. I look at the little fighter. I’d love to fix it, make it work properly again. Maybe one day I’d get my chance.  
The rebels arrive above us, I feel the air shift. We both look up, it’s hard to see from her but there are flashes, multicolored lightning, and the sound of screaming metal.  
Armitage pulls me to his chest. I feel his heart thumping.  
“What now?” He whispers as he refuses to let go.  
“I need to get down there. If anyone can kill him, it’s Rey but she needs help.” I say, my voice muffled into his chest. “You can help them. Use your voice, shout at them. Maybe you can convince some of the Order to turn against their masters, or at least get them to chase you.”  
He laughs at the thought.  
“If my father could see me now.” He says and I wriggle so I can look up at him.   
“I’d kill him for not seeing how brilliant you are,” I say and see he’s crying.   
“I love you, Xia. If we get out of this-” He starts and I touch his lips with my fingertips to stop him.  
“I love you. Go, be a hero. You never know, it might suit you.” I say and he smiles at me, a real smile.


	40. Chapter 40

He kisses me then lets me go. I know he watches me descend the ramp into the planet, I feel rather than hear his ship take off before I wrap the stolen scarf around my head and hang the hex charm I stole around my neck.  
It’s easy after that. A dark hooded figure with a Sith symbol? Thousands of them. I could have lived here for a month and not be spotted.  
The thing about power, or more those who think they are powerful, is they don’t expect to be defeated. Especially by the powerless.   
Palpatine made that mistake more than once and here he was making it again. For goodness sake, his forces were once defeated by Ewoks! Walking teddy bears. Teddy bears with an attitude I’ll admit (one bit me once, don’t ask), but still, they were using rocks and sticks.   
I walked past idols and altars set up next to complex scientific equipment. I’m no biologist but I’m guessing that’s the stuff they used to bring Palpatine back. Trust the Sith to subvert nature.  
I joined a crowd of other hooded people headed to the throne room. I could feel Rey, she’d taken a longer route, likely to avoid detection and I’d beat her there at this rate.   
If I needed evidence to prove that I wasn’t just hallucinating when I’d sent my mind (spirit? essence?) here, now I had it. Exactly as I’d seen it. Deep dark, foreboding, and damp.   
I waited on the sidelines, looking up at the man on the throne. If he sensed me despite me locking down my force signature I couldn’t tell. The blaster concealed in my sleeve was ready but I needed to wait till he was distracted or he’d just grab the shot out of the air as Ren did.   
I wish I could use the force like him, I’d have just twisted Pryde’s head off like a bottlecap instead of headbutting him.   
The figures around me begin to chant in a language I don’t understand, I dip my head down and sort of mumble along. I can feel Rey, she’s close. She’s scared, so scared, and full of righteous anger. I can feel it pulsing.  
The chanting stops abruptly as she comes into view. She can’t see him straight away so when he speaks she jumps and turns to him, weight on the balls of her feet, ready for a fight.  
“Long have I waited…” He begins and gets up, there's some kind of mechanism attached to him, no doubt the thing keeping him alive. Good, its a target. “...for my grandchild to come home.” He smiles in what I’m sure he thinks is a benevolent way. I’ve seen nicer smiles on sandworms. “I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here... Empress Palpatine.” Rey shudders and I don’t blame her one bit. “You will take the throne.” He gestures to the hard stone seat. What is with these guys and thrones?  
Rey stumbles back, she’s scared and it’s overwhelming her. Damn, I have to help her now. She has to know she’s not alone in the dark. I reach out cautiously, barely brushing her mind.  
“I’m here,” I whisper to her, and instantly her stance changes, she’s stopped trembling. Palpatine twitches, he knows somethings up but I don’t think he knows it’s me.  
“It is your birthright to rule... here. It is in your blood. Our blood.” He continues to rant, waving his emaciated arms. Rey steps back again but this time its to find her balance.   
“I haven’t come to lead the Sith... I have come to end them.” Her voice is strong and I can’t help but smile.   
“As a Jedi?” He asks, the mechanism swings him closer to her and I grip my blaster, readying myself. I might not be able to kill him but I can distract him long enough for Rey to do the honors.   
“Yes,” Rey speaks but I can feel the waver in her. She’s unsure.  
“No. Your hatred, your anger. Do you want to kill me? That is what I want.” We both tense at that, he wants it? Not good. “Kill me and my spirit will pass into you, as all the Sith live in me... You will be Empress... We will be one.”  
Well… crap. I can’t kill him. She can’t kill him. What in the everlasting fuck are we supposed to do?  
“The time has come!” He calls to the room and the mass of people salute him in unison. “With your hatred, you will take my life. And you will ascend.” Rey turns off her saber, her shoulders slump. She doesn't know what to do.  
“All you want is for me to hate, but I won’t. Not even you.” She replies, I see tears in her eyes even from here.  
“Weak. Like your parents.” He spits at her, a low blow.  
“My parents were strong. They saved me from you.” She retorts and he grins at her.  
“Your Master Luke Skywalker was saved by his father. The only family you have here.... is me.” He laughs but not at what he said. He felt it. I felt it. Godamn it, Rey.  
She reached for me, for reassurance and he felt it. I felt her panic, her need to have someone by her side.   
I fire at the cloaked person in front of me, the blast hits them in the spine and they drop like a stone. The rest of the crowd parts and I pull off my hood.  
“Sorry, got bored,” I say and Rey smiles in relief. Idiot.  
“What do we have here?” Palpatine grabs me with the force and drags me up onto the stone dias with Rey and tosses me to the floor. “The last of the Grey, here to witness your assention!”  
“Well, you did invite me,” I say as I pick myself up and make a show of dusting myself off.  
“So I did.” He mutters. “Do you intend to try and save her from her fate?”  
“No. I wanted the opportunity to snap your scrawny neck myself. Rey just happens to have had the same idea.” I reply and he laughs. Rey looks like an animal in the lights of a speeder.   
“Such bravado. You are the perfect witness. Born to walk the line between light and dark. You will watch the light die and be swallowed by the darkness. Perhaps you will be her first apprentice.” He’s goading me, I feel his influence hitting the walls of my mind but I keep him out.  
“Bad plan. Your family has a history of being taken down by slaves. Ask Anakin.” I jab at him and I feel his anger rising. He has no fear of my abilities.  
“Then you will be her first sacrifice!” He lashes out and I’m sent sprawling, I bite my lip on the way down. Rey moves to help me.  
“No!” I snap in her head. “Worry about yourself. I’m fine.”  
I stand up and wipe the blood off my mouth and chin.  
“That the best you’ve got?” I say and he grins.  
Several men in black appear around us. They advance and Rey lights her saber. She tosses another at me, where the hell she got a spare I don’t know but I light it up, blue blade crackling in the air in front of me.   
The men advance and attack us. Rey swoops around them, fighting with grace and power. I am not a fighter but I can brawl if I need to.   
One goes down to my blaster fire, another to a well-timed swipe of Rey’s. They’re quick and I’m clumsy. I’m spared more than once because I don’t move how they’d expect, tripping over my own feet and falling into them.   
I stumble away after one elbows me in the ribs and I can see something, something special.  
Ben. Not Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. He’s here.  
Or rather he’s on his way. I feel him coming but so does Palpatine. He grins at me, yellow teeth shining in the dark.   
I see him fighting, darting between dark knights as best he can but he’s missing something. I watch Rey cut an opponent in two, strangely elegant. I know what I have to do. Its gonna hurt but I’m the only one who can do it.  
“Catch!” I whisper to Ben and I drop the Lightsaber in my hand and flex. I twist the force around the weapon and throw it to him. I feel his hand wrap around it before I let go.   
My vision is blurred and I fall to one knee. Rey finishes off the last of them and comes to my side.  
“Enough!” Palpatine shouts and waves at the air.  
A great screen lights up next to him showing the fight above us. Rebel fighters darting to a fro, blaster fire fills the air. I see Armitage’s ship amongst them but no ships I don’t recognize. The backup hasn’t come. I curse Wabb and Trax and every other person who told me they’d come.   
The rebels are losing.  
“They don’t have long,” Palpatine says gliding down to stand before us. I drag myself to my feet and try to step around Rey, to keep between them. Between the light and dark. “No one is coming to help them. And you are the one who led them here. Strike me down. Take the throne. Reign over a new Empire.... and the fleet will be yours. Only you have the power to save them. Refuse, and your new family... Dies.”  
I watch as several fighters trail after Armitage’s ship. There’s so many, too many. Rey pushes past me and, sobbing, nods.  
“No!” I shout over Palpatine's roar of triumph. I grab her and pull her to look at me. “No Rey! We have to fight. We have to do this. Even if you save them now who you’ll become will still kill them. They’ll look into your eyes and he’ll be looking back at them. Do you want that!?”  
“Silence!” He hurls me away from her, I hit the wall and shout in pain before I slump to the floor.  
“X!” Rey calls to me but my head hurts too much. I can’t think straight. “I’ll do it, just stop.” I hear her, it’s distant like it’s from another world.  
“Good.” I hear him say and the chanting begins again.   
I want to get up but my arms and my legs won’t work. My head spins, too dizzy, too loud.  
“The ritual begins.” He calls to the room. My fingers twitch, I can move.”She will strike me down.... and pledge herself as a Sith.” The chanting gets louder, I can move my leg. “She will draw her weapon.” I hear the saber power on. I heave myself up to look. “She will come to me.” Rey is walking towards him. I twitch, I grab at the wall, push with my feet, anything to get up. “She will take her revenge,” I call out to Ben, tell him to hurry. I’m crying, my face is wet with blood and tears. “And with a stroke of her saber.... the Sith are reborn!”  
I reach out with everything I have and hold her still. It’s not much but she can feel it.  
“Rey. No.” I whisper. She hesitates. She could break the hold easily.   
“The Jedi are dead!” His disciples are reaching fever pitch and I feel it, the power they are giving him. “Do it! Make the sacrifice!” He stretches out his arms to either side inviting it.  
I stop holding Rey and instead lash out at the crowd. My attack isn’t physical. I’m no Jedi, nor a Sith. Just a slave who does what she can with what she’s got.  
Right now what I’ve got is anger. Sharp, pointed, terrible anger. I ball it up, pulling it from every last person who ever hurt me. My father. Wabb, dozens of masters, Ren, Armitage, and now the bastard stood waiting for the blow to fall.  
A lifetime’s worth of anger. I throw it at the crowd. It hits, it hurts. They scream, rolling on the floor. Many fall still. I’ve killed them with nothing but the force of my rage.  
Rey looks at me, terror and awe and respect bubbling up in her broken mind.   
“Hey! How is this for backup!” I shout at Palpatine. I’m up on my feet. I point and he growls as Ben charges in.  
The relief on Rey’s face is beautiful. They stand together as more men in black materialize to attack. I watch as they cut them down one by one, it’s beautiful. A deadly dance. I step into it, playing my part with my little blaster and the odd charge of power.   
When the last one falls I step back. They stand side by side to face Palpatine.   
“Stand together! Die together!” He lashes out with force lightning.   
I step between them. I hear Rey and Ben call out to me as I fall. He tosses me to the side. I roll over and over.  
“Pitiful.” He spits at me before turning back to the pair. I watch him hit them and watch them fall.   
I scream for them and scramble to try and stand but I’m so tired. I see it then as they writhe on the floor. Their connection has become a physical thing, twisting and boiling above their skin.  
Palpatine is staring at his hands, they’ve smoothed out, become young.  
“The lifeforce of your bond... A dyad in the Force…” He mutters to himself gleefully. This can’t be good. “A power like life itself.” He continues turning his hands over and looking down at the helpless couple. I get up, try to fire at him but he catches it. Flings it away, tears the blaster from my hand and crushes it without even looking at me. “Unseen for generations. And now....” He turns to look at me. “Witness this, Grey child! !The power of two... restores the one... true... Emperor.”  
He drags the lifeforce from them and a storm erupts around him, I have to shield my eyes but I can feel it. Hear it as Rey and Ben scream and writhe in pain. I feel it with them and reject it. I reject everything.  
I fall to my knees and push my mind away from there’s, sever the connection, and cry.  
The storm ends but his laughter still echoes around us.   
“There, there, child. What you feel is the power of the dark, calling to you. Embrace it and become what you were meant to be.” He shakes off the machinery and stands alone. “Look what you made for me, child. A fleet to exact my revenge, you helped bring my greatest enemies here. Already you work for my favor. Become my right hand and strike down all who wronged you.”  
I’m shaking uncontrollably.   
A grunt and I look up. Ben is moving, shaking Rey, trying to stand. The Emperor makes a disappointed sound in his throat and lifts Ben into the air with the smallest of gestures.  
“As once I fell.... so falls the last Skywalker.” He says simply then throws Ben away into one of the chasms that opened during his assent.  
“Ben!” I shout reaching out but I can’t catch him.  
“Let him fall.” The Emperor hisses at me.   
I can feel it, joy. Far above me. I look up into the storm through the hole above me. I feel it, they’ve come. Wabb and Trax and dozens of others have joined the fight. I watch as a Star Destroyer falls through the clouds and crashes to the ground, shaking the earth.   
“Do not fear that feeble attack.... my faithful. Nothing will stop the return of the Sith!” The Emperor rears back and fires his lightning upwards into the sky. I can see what he sees, my mind is drawn to his. I watch him attack the resistance. I watch fighters fall from the sky in flames.  
I pull away, flinching my entire being away from him. I go to Rey who lies staring at the sky, she’s alive but barely.   
She’s reaching out to something I can’t see what but I came here to help so that's what I’ll do.  
“Be with me. Be with me.” She’s muttering and I take her hand.  
“Let me help,” I whisper and join her, I help her push through the blocks in her head, to clear away the hurt and the pain and the longing until she can see clearly.   
I hear them. The Jedi. I turn away. This is not for me.   
They call to her, encourage her, strengthen her. I hold her up to the light but turn my face from it.  
She comes back, I help her to stand, to turn to the cackling Emperor. I can see it. He is the avatar of the dark, she of the light. and me? I’m just stuck in the middle, like always.   
“Let your death be the final word.... in the story of the Rebellion.” He is so sure, I step back and keep my eyes on them. I’m negligible. Not a treat. Just a slave.  
He strikes out at her but she deflects it. He tries again and she throws it aside with a grunt. She’s burning up her lifeforce just to keep going.  
“You are nothing! A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me. I am all the Sith!” He howls, he’s strong but so is she.  
“And I am the Jedi!” She pants and calls the saber Ben and I used to her hand. I take my opportunity and sidestep into his body, holding him still with every ounce of strength I have.  
“Now!” I shout to her.  
She slams both blades into his chest.  
He screams and I feel it, the entirety of the Sith, all the souls trapped in his body howling in outrage. I have to take a step back but they see me.   
His body begins to burn away but the force inside him is still alive, still active. It tries to flow into Rey but it’s blocked. So of course it heads to the only other place it can see. Me.  
It slams into my chest like a physical bow and I stumble back. Rey finishes the destruction of the Emperor's physical form and through tear blurred eyes I see her smile winsomely and fall back to the ground.  
She’s spent. She used everything she had to deliver what she thought was the final blow.  
You know what they say about assumptions, right?  
I fall to my knees at her side, I feel like I’m boiling alive. The souls are trying to take control, tearing, and clawing at me. I sit down hard and slump over, my fingers find hers. Something cooling, soothing flows into me from her touch, and the pain redoubles, fighting the new sensation. I feel my body twitch as my mind drifts from it.


	41. Chapter 41

I’m looking at myself from outside, not a pretty picture. My skin is turning black around my gasping mouth and my eyes are glowing with yellow malice. I can’t stop it.   
I turn away and I’m not in the throne room anymore.   
I’m in a long hallway, it stretched out ahead of me. Immeasurably long. To my right, there is light, so strong it hurts to look at. To my left is inky blackness swallowing the light. The hallway is in the twilight.  
I look back and there is the same hallway. Wide enough to walk normally but not for two people to walk side by side. In front of me, it is wide but behind it is narrow.  
“Krysta.” A whisper nearby. A voice that I thought I’d forgotten.   
“Mama?” I sob, tears unbidden start to form in my eyes. No response so I start to walk through the lonely hall.  
As I walk I notice my reflection on the walls on either side of me, walking in perfect step with me. Of course, they would, what else would a reflection do?  
I do not look at them but ahead.   
“X?” Rey’s voice now from my right. I glance over to see myself reflected in the light. I am different. My skin glows and my eyes are bright. My clothes are light and my hair tied up neatly. My reflection smiles at me.   
I turn away, eyes on the path ahead, it feels like it’s narrowing but there’s still room.  
“X5.” Snokes echoing tones to my left. I sneak a look and see myself, once again, changed. My skin is dark and my eyes glow with power. My clothes are black and my hair drifts around my head in a chaotic cloud. My reflection smiles at me, it is not a wholesome grin.  
“For most.” The reflection to my right speaks. Her voice is different from my own. It is higher, clearer, she speaks as if she’s educated.  
“The path is simple.” The left specter speaks. Her voice is deeper, cracked, and harsh.   
I know both voices. They’ve been inside my head for so long. They are mine and not mine.   
“Most chose one side. The light.” The right speaks.  
“Or the dark.” The left finishes.  
“You chose the center.” The right sounds sad. I peek at her without turning, she is looking at me with tears in her eyes.  
“You chose the grey.” The left is angry, I see her clench her fists and her jaw is tight.  
“Yes,” I reply.  
“You know.” The left steps back as she speaks, further from me.  
“What you are giving up.” The right steps back as well.  
“The strength.” The left retreats further.  
“The power.” The right follows suit.  
“No light.” The left is fading.  
“No dark.” The right is fading and with them, the walls fade as well. I’m standing alone in the grey twilight.  
“Only me,” I say and I’m alone.


	42. Chapter 42

I wake slowly. I’m cold to my bones but I’m alive. I open my eyes. Rey is there next to me, staring lifelessly at the stars above. I swear and groan as I roll onto my front to push up.  
“I’m getting too old for this crap.” I hiss as my joints complain.   
I touch her hand, she’s still warm, that whole damn thing must have only taken a minute.   
“Rey!” Ben is dragging himself towards us. He pulls her into his lap, gripping one of her limp hands, and looks at her in a way that breaks my heart. “She can’t die!” He’s crying softly.  
“Let me help,” I say and put my hand over theirs.  
“X5?” He looks up at me as if seeing me for the first time.  
“Let me help,” I repeat and he closes his eyes. He’s pushing his life force into Rey, trying to start her heart and bring her back. He’s clumsy but I help guide him, giving over some of my energy.  
She gasps and her eyes flicker.  
“Ben?” She says, looking up at him, I withdraw my hand and pull myself up. They deserve this moment alone.   
“X?” Rey calls to me and I turn back. Ben helps her up and I smile at her. “What do we do now?” She asks as she and Ben cling to each other.   
“Let’s get out of here,” I say and lead them out.

Outside the sky is on fire. Star destroyers falling, crashing, burning. The shuttle Ben took has been crushed but the X-wing is okay. Unfortunately, it will only seat one. They might be able to squeeze in but no way am I getting in there too.  
I wonder if the escape pods on one of those downed Destroyers will work but my thoughts are cut short as a craft approaches. It’s the shuttle Armitage brought me here in.  
He lands and rushes out, wrapping his arms around me in a near tackle. He’s drenched in sweat but so am I. He smothers me with kisses.  
“Don’t ever do that again!” He orders me before wrapping his arms around me and crushing me to his chest.   
“Hux?” Armitage tenses at the voice and turns to his former rival. Ben looks unsteady and Armitage is ready for a fight but I push in front of him.  
“Armitage, I’d like you to meet Ben Solo and Rey.” I introduced them as if it’s their first meeting. “Ben, Rey. This is Armitage Hux.” They all look at me as if I am mad. “Let's just leave the past here, let it die.”  
Ben and Armitage approach each other slowly and shake hands. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Rey nods at me slowly.  
“Rey!” another figure runs from the ship and hugs Rey before realizing we’re even there.  
“Finn, put her down,” I say and he turns to me and wraps me up in an equally fierce Hug.  
“X!” He says swinging me around. “Damn it’s good to see you.”  
I look up to see my former lover and Armitage sharing a long look. There’s a lot under that bridge.  
“Yeah, you too,” I say. 

We return to the rebel base where a full-blown celebration has broken out. People from all over the place answered our call. In more ways than one, First Order bases have been overthrown in most major systems.   
I hear that Armitage gave a rousing speech over an open comm channel that inspired a lot of troopers and other First Order troops to rebel against their masters. He blushes when I raise an eyebrow at him when Rose gushes about it.  
Ben, Rey, and I avoid each other. Not through any animosity but because we don’t know what to say after Palpatine. I watch friends of Leia welcome Ben home and I watch Finn and Poe dance around Rey.   
Armitage has been accosted by several other former First Order officers as well as some high ranking rebel leaders. They’re already talking excitedly about the next step.   
I slip away from the celebrations.  
Skywalkers old x-wing was towed back by one of the larger ships and it sits just next to the airfield. A relic of the past. I run my fingers over the faded and warped paintwork. Rey told me about how her master lifted it from the sea. I see the damage done by the saltwater and I’m amazed the damn thing ran at all. I want to fix her. Make her like new again but I know I won’t be allowed. She’ll be put in a museum somewhere, in the ‘New’ New republic, with a plaque and a hollo for people to gawk at. The Legend of Skywalker.  
“X5?” I turn around to see Ben emerging from the trees. He looks so different now to the man who hurt me. Younger and more innocent. More like the man I could have loved.  
“Hey. Not enjoying the party?” I say and he shakes his head.   
“I wanted-” He starts and stops himself. “I need to apologize to you, for a lot of things.” He rubs the back of his neck.  
“I thought you might.” I smile and cross my arms.   
“I’m sorry for… well, everything. For trying to force you to love me. For taking out my anger on you. For-” He smiles awkwardly.  
“That wasn’t you,” I say and he looks confused.  
“But-” I hold up a hand to stop him.  
“That was a man called Kylo Ren. He was a bad man who I made some bad decisions with but he’s dead.” I say and he understands. I can’t feel him, I’ve locked down my powers and thrown away the key, for now.   
“I-” He starts and I step closer to him and take his hand.   
“You are Ben Solo. A man I barely know but I’d like to be friends. Got it?” I smile at him and he returns it.  
“Yeah. Got it.” He replies.   
I go back to my inspection of the x-wing while he looks at the sky. It’s nice, the quiet. I’ve been in his head and he knows it.  
“Why are you so interested in this heap of junk?” He asks and I chuckle.  
“This heap of junk is the second most famous ship ever built. She’s been through a lot and I just wanted to look at her before she’s turned into some kind of display.” I explain. “Badly designed, badly built but well flown.”  
“Huh.” He says noncommittally. He steps closer and looks where I’m looking. “Want to go for a spin?” He offers with a cheeky smile, the mirror of his fathers.  
“Save it, Solo.” I punch him gently on the arm and he staggers back as if I’ve landed a forceful blow.  
I turn around as the crowd not too far away cheers and smiles, shaking my head.  
“Don’t feel like joining in?” He asks as we both lean on the old fighter.  
“I’m not big on crowds. Give me an engine to crawl into anyway.” I say and he chuckles. “So what’s next?” I ask him and he shrugs.  
“No idea. I had a clear goal for so long, now I have no idea what comes next.” He says then smiles. “I like it.” He steps away from the fighter and looks at me. “What about you?”  
Another cheer goes up and I walk past him.  
“We should get back,” I say over my shoulder and he follows.  
The cheering is for yet another First Order base taken back by the rebellion. I manage to lose Ben in the crowd as he’s pulled aside by Lando to talk earnestly about his parents. I grab a drink and let the world move around me. My eyes meet Rey’s and I lift my cup to her, she does the same.   
Armitage finds me at some point but we don’t speak. It’s just nice to be close to him.  
The moment I dread comes faster than I thought it would.  
A lull washes over the crowd and its parts to let a group through the mass of people. I can see from here who it is. I sigh and hand my drink to a random woman next to me. I step out of the crowd and bow to him as I was shown as a child.  
“No rembo mahatt, Wabb.” I say and he laughs. I look up into the bulbous face of my owner. His blue-green skin and wide yellow eyes scared me as a child but it was the mind behind those that I should be worried about.  
“Greetings Master Wabb.” a protocol droid, sleek black, and green. Is amongst his retinue.   
“Lim Mara, gris.” Wabb gestures at me and I stand.  
“Stand up, girl.” The droid’s voice is more lilting than 3PO’s but with less emotion.  
“Hey maho beehee co maloo. He na coma loo takara.” Wabb says and my heart falls.  
“It’s time to come home. You have done very well.” I hear the crowd ripple as the translation rings out.  
“Bolo, mahatt.” I say with a small bow.  
“Of course, master.” Armitage steps forward to grab my arm.  
“You’re just going with him?” He asks looking into my face.   
“I haven't got a choice,” I reply.  
“Ni Hi?” Wabb asks.  
“Who is this?” Armitage turns to my owner, back straight, feet together.  
“Greetings, Wabb of the Hutt clan. I am Armitage Hux, former General of the First Order.” He says with a slight bow. The droid translates and Wabb looks at me and raises what would be an eyebrow.  
“No rembo, Hux. Lab ros limb gris?” He asks, though he doesn’t look at Armitage.  
“Greetings, Hux. What do you want with the girl?”  
“Armitage, it’s okay.” I touch his arm and he looks at me. Fear on his face.  
“Rubo melo cam rik me ton, gris.” Wabb chuckles.  
“You have strange taste in men, girl.” His men titter at that. Well rehearsed false mirth.  
“Pok.” He turns to leave.  
“Come.” The whole retinue turns to head back to the junker I see in the distance.   
“Wait, you can’t take her!” Armitage shouts and stands in front of me.   
“Oh? Miko no loso?” Wabb peers over his mountainous shoulder at us.  
“Oh? And why not?”  
“Because…” Armitage is lost for words.  
“Because her contract was invalidated.” Ben stepped forward, Rey right behind him with Finn at her heels.  
“Wa?” no translation needed there.  
“I looked after Snoke’s death. In the contract, it says that if she were to die during her time with us we could do with her remains what we liked.” Ben explains and I have to say I’m confused.  
“Ben. I’m alive.” I say and he smiles at me, that sly smile that used to make my knees weak.  
“When you were airlifted from Starkiller and your cuff activated it stopped your heart for several minutes. The medic aboard that transport even filed your death certificate.” Ben says and I’m taken aback.   
“Belk!” Wabb bellows.  
“I’m afraid I cannot translate that.” His droid says but it’s clear what Wabb wants.  
“I have the evidence on here.” He hands a datapad to one of Wabb’s men who looks it over then trills at Wabb.  
“Boro, gris. Meshi Lo bi.” Wabb says in a low tone.  
“Well, girl. Looks like you’re dead.” I feel the eyes of the crowd on me, the smiles of friends.  
“Rima.” Wabb beckons to me and I approach him.  
“Los mo so. Fra na, gris.” He says to me and I bow to him.  
“You’re free then. Farewell, girl.”  
“Fra na, mahatt.” I say and he leaves. The crowd closing back up around him.  
There’s another cheer, especially amongst the former First Order. I’m congratulated by everyone and patted on the back. Chewie even lifts me in a huge hug.  
Armitage is nowhere to be seen, nor is Ben.  
I manage to get away to sit somewhere quiet. I died. I died and came back without a doctor doing it. How?  
“The force.” Rey has found my hiding place in the trees. “You were wondering how you came back. It was the force, Leia did it once. You weren’t done yet and the force sent you back.”  
“Neat,” I say unenthusiastically. She laughs.  
“The force knew you had more to do. You had to fix things.” She sits on the tree stump I found with me.  
“Well, that’s what I’m good at. Fixing things.” I smile again.  
“Did we really do it? Take down the whole thing?” She asks and it’s my turn to laugh.  
“Yeah, not bad for a slave and a scavenger, eh?” I say and we both laugh together. 

I feel more than hear the moment he finds me. Armitage nods reverently at Rey as she leaves us in private.  
“So this is where you were hiding.” He says, taking up the seat where Rey had been.  
“Yeah. Rey wants to go to Tattoine, to honor Skywalker and Organa.” I say and he smiles at my tone. “I told her that Ben would go with her if she asked. She blushed like a schoolgirl.” I laugh.  
“And what do you want to do?” He asks me, linking his fingers with mine.   
“I’m not sure. It’s a strange feeling. Freedom.” I lay my head on his shoulder. He hums in agreement, kissing the top of my head.  
“You said once you wanted to build a ship.” He says.  
“Well, I know a place with a lot of scrap.” I joke and he chuckles.   
“And you wanted to travel.” He’s fishing for something and I look up at him.  
“Oh? Did you want to tag along, General?” I say and he grabs me and pulls me to sit in his lap.  
“Only if you’ll have me.” He says before kissing me.  
“I’ll think about it,” I say when we come up for air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End credits play... Da da da da da da DAAAA
> 
> That's it folks. Thank you to everyone who gave me kudos or commented on this LONG ass fic.
> 
> I might add an epilogue at some point showing what happens to X5 and Armitage but not anytime soon.
> 
> Goodnight folks and may the force be with you.


End file.
